Schizophrenia?

[Antediluvian]

I've ruminated many times over the fact that I may have schizophrenia. It was and is more of a cool assessment than a horrifying perspective. The reason why I took this into consideration was that a family member recently suggested this diagnosis to me (a mild form they said), and honestly it sort of makes sense when it is all considered.

Even though I was diagnosed as ADHD-PI several years ago, I've never met anyone with the same diagnosis that has such a massive deficit in attentional abilities as I do. Stimulant medication never helped, and as I mentioned in here very recently, it has only increased irritability and paranoia. To support my notion, I have felt the most cogent while on geodon, but I had chest pains and severe restlessness while on it and other physical symptoms, so I ceased usage of it.

Also, I became increasingly antisocial after quitting my job, and become extremely irritable and anxious when having to leave the house. I sometimes feel as if I am being judged instantly while walking down the street, as if my aura must be inherently off and the only way to avoid this is to make painstaking effort to sidestep social interactions.

Another semi-recent development that has been concerning me is ever since six to nine months ago, when I close my eyes incredibly vivid images will race in front of them, and randomly change. I encounter this most when I'm sleep-deprived.

I realize my "diagnosis" is based off of experience rather than proper analytic thinking, but the main goal of this post is to encourage conversation about the topic.

Thoughts?

 

[Nezumi]

I have a few questions first if that's ok?

When you go out, does the feeling of judgment start as soon as you leave the door? Or does there need to be other people near by that trigger it?

And then what kind of images do you see when you close your eyes?
How vivid?
Do they have colors?

 

[Antediluvian]

It does start as soon as I exit the front door, and intensifies based off of perceived number of people.

The images I have are a bit surreal, in their content and stitched together randomness. They are very vivid, at least comparatively in that when I used to close my eyes only the vaguest pictures would enter my head. Now, these mental images seem to carry a lifelike quality. I'm not sure I can better describe the immense detail I perceive them to have.

Sorry if that doesn't adequately answer your questions!

 

[snafupants]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sluggishly_progressing_schizophrenia

 

[Antediluvian]

I also forgot to mention that my half-sister was diagnosed with the disorder.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Even though I was diagnosed as ADHD-PI several years ago, I've never met anyone with the same diagnosis that has such a massive deficit in attentional abilities as I do. Stimulant medication never helped, and as I mentioned in here very recently, it has only increased irritability and paranoia. To support my notion, I have felt the most cogent while on geodon, but I had chest pains and severe restlessness while on it and other physical symptoms, so I ceased usage of it.

Consider the potential of a mood stabilizer to act as a regulatory mechanism of epinepherine/norepinepherine.

This may be useful: http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=14678&highlight=psychological+evaluation

Also, I became increasingly antisocial after quitting my job, and become extremely irritable and anxious when having to leave the house. I sometimes feel as if I am being judged instantly while walking down the street, as if my aura must be inherently off and the only way to avoid this is to make painstaking effort to sidestep social interactions.

Another semi-recent development that has been concerning me is ever since six to nine months ago, when I close my eyes incredibly vivid images will race in front of them, and randomly change. I encounter this most when I'm sleep-deprived. FUCK YEAH! Finally someone else. Can you form them at will, manipulate them, increase or decrease their complexity, make them 3-D and "walk" through them?

I realize my "diagnosis" is based off of experience rather than proper analytic thinking, but the main goal of this post is to encourage conversation about the topic.

Thoughts?

"Mild" or prodromal?
DSM Axis I or II?
Mood swings/mania/hypomania/depression?
Relatives with DSM diagnoses other than half sister?
Effect of large quantities of caffeine?
Drug use?
Does music change your mood or must it suit your mood?
Experienced wakeful or hypnagogic hallucinations?
Positive about being an INTP as far as MBTI goes, vs Ne-dom ENTP?

I also forgot to mention that my half-sister was diagnosed with the disorder.

Phylogeny ftw. Also happens to lend creedence to the idea that it's not an X-linked trait.


Also, history of trauma? (Y/N if you want to say. Otherwise ignore.)

 

[Antediluvian]

"Mild" or prodromal?
DSM Axis I or II?
Mood swings/mania/hypomania/depression?
Relatives with DSM diagnoses other than half sister?
Effect of large quantities of caffeine?
Drug use?
Does music change your mood or must it suit your mood?
Experienced wakeful or hypnagogic hallucinations?
Positive about being an INTP as far as MBTI goes, vs Ne-dom ENTP?

Phylogeny ftw. Also happens to lend creedence to the idea that it's not an X-linked trait.


Also, history of trauma? (Y/N if you want to say. Otherwise ignore.)

Prodromal is a possibility
Not sure about Axis 1 or II, will have to research further
Sometimes I feel manic, other times I feel depressed, although the mania is for a short duration
Unaware if other relatives had a similar diagnosis
Music can change my mood, it doesn't need to suit it, by my perception
Caffeine can make me hyper-anxious
No drug use, aside from smoking half a blunt years ago
Hypnagogic hallucinations, unknown, except from what I know these are normal parts of the transitional period from consciousness to sleep
No, I am not sure about my personality profile? Why do you suggest ENTP? I have my theories but am more interested in your perspective

History of trauma, well, I would say I've had prolonged periods of intense stress, which supposedly leave biological markers for psychotic depression.

As for the vivid images, I can only moderately control them if I feel properly stimulated. In other words, the ability to control mental imagery isn't constant for me.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Not sure about Axis 1 or II, will have to research further

I are more "defined" disorders while II are personality disorders.

Sometimes I feel manic, other times I feel depressed, although the mania is for a short duration

Possible rapid-cycling bipolar or schizoaffective disorder?

Caffeine can make me hyper-anxious

Nor/epinepherine.

History of trauma, well, I would say I've had prolonged periods of intense stress, which supposedly leave biological markers for psychotic depression.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypothalamic%E2%80%93pituitary%E2%80%93adrenal_axis

Have you noticed a trend of increased visuals while manic/hypomanic/hyper and sleep-deprived?

Also, is your half-sister on your mother of father's side?

 

[Antediluvian]

I would say there is a connection between the two.

Half-sister is on mother's side.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I would say there is a connection between the two.

Half-sister is on mother's side.

When you do have control over visuals, how much control? I personally find that visuals help spatial intelligence tremendously if you're able to consciously visualize complex interactions and track multiple focal areas simultaneously.

In terms of genetics, perhaps both parents were carriers and you inherited a good X while your half-sister didn't. Age of onset in males is typically earlier by ~5 years.

Thus far this all appears eerily similar to myself (schizoaffective disorder), but check it out on your own to make sure I'm not projecting.

 

[Antediluvian]

In what way do you mean a "good X?" a useful variant gene? Well, more specifically, what makes you think it is "good"?

A decent amount of control, although, I would say isn't as consistent or fluid as I would like it to be, although it has been a while since I've been officially tested, and online tests show mixed results.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

In what way do you mean a "good X?" a useful variant gene? Well, more specifically, what makes you think it is "good"?

In terms of the X and Y sex chromosomes that determine one's sex, females have 2 X's while males have one of each. Both parents only pass on one or the other (except in very rare circumstances, which normally result in some weird stuff). Sometimes (<-occurs more often in complicated diseases) if a female inherits one X with a defect or mutation and a normal X ("good"), the genes on the normal copy cancel out some of the detrimental effects.

Males have to inherit a Y from their father (otherwise they wouldn't be male), which means they have a 50:50 shot at getting the defective X from their mother. If they get the normal copy, they're peachy, but if they get the mutant copy, they have no way to cancel out the mutations.

This is speculative, since it's likely a lot of mental illness is caused by several genes interacting together combined with epigenetic effects and environmental influences.

The cool part is that the genes for mood disorders, the schizophrenic spectrum, and autism are apparently linked to high intelligence and creativity. Evolution has selected for insanity.

A decent amount of control, although, I would say isn't as consistent or fluid as I would like it to be, although it has been a while since I've been officially tested, and online tests show mixed results.

^This was mostly for curiosity's sake (though completely uncontrollable points to schizophrenia). Sometimes it's nice to be able to zone out into orbit and feel the shivers as satellites pass through you. Meditation schmeditation.

Do get checked out though.

 

[Hadoblado]

Regarding the mental imagery:

As I close my eyes to sleep I get incredibly vivid imagery, but only of faces. They are not faces I know, they appear to be randomly generated. They appear and then are gone within 1-2 seconds, changing into a different face. They are very detailed. I do not have time to rotate them purposefully, though sometimes as the appear they are already in motion. I can exercise some control over what the next face will be by focusing on some characteristics such as sex or race, or even the presence of freckles or a mono-brow.

I assumed it to be evidence for a specialised facial recognition area of the brain, but what you guys are able to do seems better and broader.

 

[Antediluvian]

Do get checked out though.

Well, I plan on it soon, although mental health professionals in the past ruled out this diagnosis, but that doesn't mean something hasn't developed in the mean time. It's all speculative, at this point.

Regarding the mental imagery:

As I close my eyes to sleep I get incredibly vivid imagery, but only of faces. They are not faces I know, they appear to be randomly generated. They appear and then are gone within 1-2 seconds, changing into a different face. They are very detailed. I do not have time to rotate them purposefully, though sometimes as the appear they are already in motion. I can exercise some control over what the next face will be by focusing on some characteristics such as sex or race, or even the presence of freckles or a mono-brow.

I assumed it to be evidence for a specialised facial recognition area of the brain, but what you guys are able to do seems better and broader.

I'd say mine is entirely random when it occurs, but once it's there, I can control it somewhat. I'm not even sure that amounts to good spatial skills, as in architecturally sound mental reconstruction.

Also, I tend to score quite highly on verbal measures, but one of the most interesting things I read recently was that those with schizophrenia who tend to score highly on verbal tests additionally have issues with verbal learning. I seem to have this problem, though it could be something else.

But, I always feel a fundamental disconnect when I am attempting to communicate with someone. I can force it to work, but such experiences leave an impression of crudeness.

As far as schizophrenia being aligned with certain mental gifts, it may help with creativity but seems to generally impair cognition. I suppose it depends on the individual.

 

[MichiganJFrog]

Just came across this, FWIW:

Successful and Schizophrenic

 

[17pounder]

Often there cannot be a precise diagnosis, but there are some things you can do to help.

It is widely accepted that magnesium and omega-3 oils greatly reduce the symptoms of things such as ADHD and Schizophrenia. I was listening to NPR a few months back, to a doctor who had ADHD, and he stated that he did not experience any improvement from ritalin, but experienced a great improvement using fish oil (which is a source of omega-3).

That said, I can personally speak for fish oil. I have been taking it for almost a year, and I feel vastly better and emotionally as stable as a brick wall. I deal with extreme stress, in an industry with over a 100% turnover each year, and yet I feel right at home.

 

[MissQuote]

Have you ever had auditory hallucinations? Not "voices in your head", actual noises or voices that seem to generate from without you but are not really there (other people cannot hear them) or are unexplainable (you hear noise or speaking when there is no one or nothing to make it?)

A few years ago I spent about a year, year and a half gorging on everything I could learn about mental illness with a specific focus on schizophrenia. Of course I may have forgotten things, or new information may be available now, but I remember very well that for all functional case of schizophrenia (non catatonic) audio hallucinations were required for a diagnoses, and sometimes a diagnoses could be made based purely on them if they were bad /frequent/disruptive enough.

Schizophrenia is a thought disorder, at its core, as opposed to a mood disorder such as Bi-polar.

A schizophrenic may have a perfectly reasonable grip on reality on an emotional level, but on a cognitive level things go awry. They are unable to make connections and patterns between things where they should or go over board and find patterns and connections between completely unrelated situations- such as reading a line in a book then later someone uses words that are vaguely similar though unrelated- they may make the conclusion that they are being watched. (simple example)

I remember I found the book Surviving Schizophrenia to be very informative on the matter, giving a history of the disease, comprehensive explanations of its various forms, information on the different theories on the causes and the studies that have been done- everything from how nicotine seems to be helpful to there being a higher instance of the disease in people who were born in the late winter to early spring, the possible cause being sickness the mother contracts during flu season while the fetus is in the second trimester when vital brain development is happening- , information on treatments past and present,past and present attitudes, information on the actual experience of knowing someone with the disease including looking at them as a whole person who needs everything from personal space to love and sex just like any 'normal' person and methods for coping with odd behavior, what options are available to the family for treatment and what rights the mentally ill person has to deny treatment and the history to present of legal rights family's and ill one have had. Lists of further reading. And much more. I found it to be highly informative a place to start learning about the disorder. The author is a psychiatrist with a schizophrenic sister, so he has both his professional pool of knowledge as well as personal.

 

[joal0503]

Excerpts from Jung:

http://recoveryfromschizophrenia.org/2012/03/carl-jung-on-schizophrenia/

 

[Antediluvian]

Often there cannot be a precise diagnosis, but there are some things you can do to help.

It is widely accepted that magnesium and omega-3 oils greatly reduce the symptoms of things such as ADHD and Schizophrenia. I was listening to NPR a few months back, to a doctor who had ADHD, and he stated that he did not experience any improvement from ritalin, but experienced a great improvement using fish oil (which is a source of omega-3).

That said, I can personally speak for fish oil. I have been taking it for almost a year, and I feel vastly better and emotionally as stable as a brick wall. I deal with extreme stress, in an industry with over a 100% turnover each year, and yet I feel right at home.

I have also heard good things about magnesium and omega-3, as well as Niacin and a fasting diet for schizophrenia.

Have you ever had auditory hallucinations? Not "voices in your head", actual noises or voices that seem to generate from without you but are not really there (other people cannot hear them) or are unexplainable (you hear noise or speaking when there is no one or nothing to make it?)

I've heard music when lying in bed trying to get to sleep, or when attempting to wake up. Those instances have been rare occurrences, though.

While the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia are bothersome, I'm much more concerned with the cognitive deficits typically associated with the disorder that I believe myself to be influenced by. Exercising has helped, but I can't ascertain its total positive affects.

Stilted speech and writing are other symptoms I feel I am affected by.

 

[SpiralHacker]

Based on what I have learned about schizophrenia and your writings in this thread, I am very doubtful that you have schizophrenia. However, the right thing to do if you are concerned is to make an appointment with a well-qualified psychiatrist. One session with such a person should clear things right up and help you identify what issues you may actually be having.

 

[Antediluvian]

Based on what I have learned about schizophrenia and your writings in this thread, I am very doubtful that you have schizophrenia. However, the right thing to do if you are concerned is to make an appointment with a well-qualified psychiatrist. One session with such a person should clear things right up and help you identify what issues you may actually be having.

They've ruled it out, but claimed my mental status approached psychosis. I told them I was crazy before, but they wouldn't listen, and the worst they said was borderline

At the very least I think I have a thought disorder that contributes to some stress-induced psychosis that occurs on occasion.

Also, what is it about my writings that lead you to think that I don't have the disorder? Merely curious.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

At the very least I think I have a thought disorder that contributes to some stress-induced psychosis that occurs on occasion.

Also, what is it about my writings that lead you to think that I don't have the disorder? Merely curious.

Regarding your writing, I've noticed a few things involving the lack of word salad and lack of other obvious issues with thought organization. Beyond a certain point on the spectrum, one simply can't easily recognize typos, semantics, and ordering.

There's an overarching organization to your responses, a la A, B, C, D, E. A schizophrenic might order them A, D, E, B, C while bouncing all over the place and adding an L and a Q to the mix. The latter is actually how I think and write, but I'm able to recognize order after all my thoughts are out in front of me and organize accordingly. This thinking of mine is partly why I find it difficult to maintain several of my own threads simultaneously and tend to hit and run during long, deep discussions (if you've noticed that). Also partly why I edit my own posts ad nauseum. Scatterbrain.

 

[Antediluvian]

Regarding your writing, I've noticed a few things involving the lack of word salad and lack of other obvious issues with thought organization. Beyond a certain point on the spectrum, one simply can't easily recognize typos, semantics, and ordering.

There's an overarching organization to your responses, a la A, B, C, D, E. A schizophrenic might order them A, D, E, B, C while bouncing all over the place and adding an L and a Q to the mix. The latter is actually how I think and write, but I'm able to recognize order after all my thoughts are out in front of me and organize accordingly. This thinking of mine is partly why I find it difficult to maintain several of my own threads simultaneously and tend to hit and run during long, deep discussions (if you've noticed that). Also partly why I edit my own posts ad nauseum. Scatterbrain.

I've been told by others that I have very well-organized writing. More specifically, others on different forums have claimed my messages are "extremely well-written." Even if that is true, I am sure those writings are rife with grammatical flaws. But, my speech is much less coherent, even my psych said I needed stimulants to organize my thoughts, but I think that was during an appointment when I was particularly excited over something. I've also noticed that my speech slurs, and that the word ordering can be somewhat off. I suspect this partially has to do with the fact that cogent writing is much easier than cogent speaking, because the former isn't under any time pressure. Though, when I feel pressured, my ability to attend to anything basically breaks down.

Yes, I also "hit and run" with my threads, and can't find the energy to respond to lengthy posts.

 

[MichiganJFrog]

Have you ever had auditory hallucinations?

I did, nearly 30 years ago. Totally freaked me out. I landed in a psych ward because of it. Then 20 years after that, I ended up in another hospital, rooming with a kid who looked like I did, right down to the dyed blond hair, and he was having auditory AND visual hallucinations.

Based on my experience, I would say stick with whatever treatment you're getting, but also don't forget to do stuff that makes you happy. I don't mean cheap thrills like booze, pills, and anonymous sex, but stuff that makes you feel calm and secure, even if it's a sappy old TV show like The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, which I'm going to watch in a moment.

I have read stuff that says rates of prevalence of schizophrenia increase as urbanization increases. I don't know, maybe some people are creating a world that other people find difficult to live in due to overstimulation. Speaking personally, I take relaxation a lot more seriously than I used to. I can't even watch violent cartoons anymore.

 

[Antediluvian]

Based on my experience, I would say stick with whatever treatment you're getting, but also don't forget to do stuff that makes you happy. I don't mean cheap thrills like booze, pills, and anonymous sex, but stuff that makes you feel calm and secure, even if it's a sappy old TV show like The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, which I'm going to watch in a moment.

I have read stuff that says rates of prevalence of schizophrenia increase as urbanization increases. I don't know, maybe some people are creating a world that other people find difficult to live in due to overstimulation. Speaking personally, I take relaxation a lot more seriously than I used to. I can't even watch violent cartoons anymore.

I wonder if the prevalence of schizophrenia increasing alongside urban development has to do with the hyper-learning hypothesis (information is not dumped out of the brain in a functional way, and urbanization increases information). That's probably far too simplistic, but interesting all the same. The hyper-learning part has been postulated as a malfunction brought upon the mind by schizophrenia.

Sometimes, I do feel like I am drowning in a "sea of connections."

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Sometimes, I do feel like I am drowning in a "sea of connections."

Wow. Yup, you're either me or physically residing within my brain, toasting marshmallows.

 

[MichiganJFrog]

I wonder if the prevalence of schizophrenia increasing alongside urban development has to do with the hyper-learning hypothesis (information is not dumped out of the brain in a functional way, and urbanization increases information). That's probably far too simplistic, but interesting all the same. The hyper-learning part has been postulated as a malfunction brought upon the mind by schizophrenia.

I haven't heard of that one, but it seems like everything and everyone goes at hyper speed these days, sometimes for good reason, but often for no other reason than because we can. I say slow the fuck down once in a while, people.

Sometimes, I do feel like I am drowning in a "sea of connections."

Same here. I have been doing independent study of cognitive, affective, and behavioral disorders for a while now. I read a long time ago that the inability to self-soothe is behind a lot of these problems. At first, I had no idea what that meant, but I have learned to just intentionally disconnect pretty much whenever I feel the need. If I don't do it intentionally every now and then, I think I probably end up doing it unintentionally.

I find that it's really not much more complicated than "going to your happy place," whatever that may be from one individual to another. A simple concept, but it's taken me about 15 or 20 years to get even halfway decent at it.

 

[Antediluvian]

Wow. Yup, you're either me or physically residing within my brain, toasting marshmallows.

Well, I find sometimes that I use the exact same words that a person would use to describe a different process or mental phenomenon. The best I can do is make an attempt at empathy. I don't feel like my brain can block out irrelevant information very well.

Same here. I have been doing independent study of cognitive, affective, and behavioral disorders for a while now. I read a long time ago that the inability to self-soothe is behind a lot of these problems. At first, I had no idea what that meant, but I have learned to just intentionally disconnect pretty much whenever I feel the need. If I don't do it intentionally every now and then, I think I probably end up doing it unintentionally.

I find that it's really not much more complicated than "going to your happy place," whatever that may be from one individual to another. A simple concept, but it's taken me about 15 or 20 years to get even halfway decent at it.

The inability to self-soothe is a common feature of ADHD, according to Russell Barkley. The only way I have been able to do this would be considered cheating by most people, in that I simply avoid anything that I can that causes me stress.

Happy Place? I can't mentally construct such a thing without some form of aid (TV, books, movies), and those obsessions sort of fade with time. The one consistent thing about me is that I tend to burn obsessions to death, and that I am sort of wistful to see them go. The closest thing I've had to losing a true friend, is another way of putting it.

And, those obsessions are accompanied by a superficial understanding that I'm not proud of, to be honest.