Regrets from opening up?

[Somnium]

I wonder if it's only me, but sometimes if I bottle in emotions and thoughts for too long, I feel like I must let them out, and eventually will tell someone said thoughts and emotions. Perhaps the person is happy I finally opened up a little, but afterwards, instead of being relieved, I regret it. As if i just exposed something I cannot take back and am vulnerable.

Am I the only who feels like this...?

 

[Cavallier]

Nope. That's me in a nutshell. I sometimes fear that by telling people my issues it somehow makes them more real.

 

[shoeless]

uncomfortable acknowledgment is better than silent despair.
but that could just be me.

 

[pjoa09]

Maybe because the problems just got real?

You must've been saying "I hate how the bathroom is all slippery". Let it out and the real issue is that your landlord hired really shitty engineers who installed really shitty tiles and now you are slipping around with your life on the edge. Your life is on the edge because of some two piece contractor who wants some money to spend on prostitutes.


Slippery floor to immoral greedy promiscuous contractors.

 

[EditorOne]

"As if i just exposed something I cannot take back and am vulnerable."

Yeah, you dealt in feelings and now you're uncomfortable. D'oh? INTP usually means "not so good with emotions". Consider what you're going through an emotional hangover. Now that you've considered it, forget about it and get on with things.

It gets easier. No, really. It just does. Just, for now, be aware it's normal for you to feel this way, not aberrant.

Sometimes I think I used to get drunk when I was young just to have an excuse to purge emotions. "Drunk" was like a socially acceptable fig leaf over my actual condition. :-) Not a recommended paradigm, by the way, it can cause liver damage....

 

[EyeSeeCold]

No.

Sometimes I think I would be better off if I never told nobody nuthin. When I let things out(or when contemplating the thought of doing such) they(I?) seem less dramatic, grave and serious and I kinda feel dumb for holding on to them. But I know that some things are not always "dumb", and I'm just thinking that because I'm not confident in my own...erm, feel...yeah. I know certain people who'd get mobilized about the things I feel dumb about, so I guess that's enough to know I'm justified.


What makes me really regret, though, is confiding in people who turn out to be flakes. It's the worst to be opened like that to someone who does not own up to the covenant. At the least, it's something to be learned for the future.

 

[Fukyo]

An INTP forum classic: INTP Socializer's Remorse

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Yup.

I always feel especially regretful after a night of drinking with friends. 'Why did I expose myself so much!? Think of all the things all those evil, evil people could do with this very personal information!'

It is getting better over time though.

@Fukyo: A really great thread. Summarizes this whole thing pretty well.

 

[Wizardry]

Sharing such thoughts/feelings shouldn't have that much effect. I don't see it as a bad thing, just a preference. But I do believe being bottled up so much is bad on self advancement, mental health, and hinders the formation of strong bonds which even "INTP" folk can use to find peace and enjoyment.

My experience with various people who are in the "INTP" range, it seems that a bigger focus, that they aren't properly aware of, is based on the other person's reaction to their (intp) shared info. So, they feel weird about being more open and then the person they open up to starts acting funky and saying things. I enjoy my INTP's the most though so I do my best to keep their "open" times as non-traumatic as possible and stay confident with the whole ordeal. My confidence seems to make them feel more confident but you never know with some of you NTP's, lol. I at least try to keep it positive on their terms and they seem to appreciate the gesture. I enjoy you guys the most of all the personality types.

 

[Dapper Dan]

I dunno about regret, but I do find it very annoying when tell someone something that I think is important and they don't give it proper consideration. And then they won't shut up long enough for me to explain myself.

Their loss, usually, but it's still frustrating.

 

[Minuend]

I only share stuff here, and I am quite capable of distancing myself from that. I do have a slight emotion phobia, if so can be called. I freak out. Or perhaps it's rather that as long as I have control it's not that bad, but whenever things change and get deeper, I retreat.

Generally I have become better at letting things go. I used to regret anything I said to other people, I still do sometimes, but generally I'm more able to ignore it.

Hah, I remember when I first joined here, every post was a pain. Now I just don't take the forum that seriously. No offence, gods of intpia

Also, I don't like to reveal too many weaknesses in RL, because I anticipate change in attitude towards me which I don't like. I don't want people to see me as fragile, I want them to be honest with me.

 

[Roran]

Aye, Somnium, I am very similar. Sometimes I just need to talk to somebody (usually online) and rant/whine a little bit (read: a lot) or I'll go insane. But after this, I worry. Should I have told them this? Should I have shown that side?

 

[Crazythinker1]

Oh yes, this is me to the core. I really only open up to a few people and even then I won't open up all the way.