Real Talk with the Gopher

[The Gopher]

Dr. Gopher in the house talking about real issues and problems of life. Do you need advice? Feel your emotional needs aren’t met? Ask Dr. Gopher for advice. (Disclaimer not actually a doctor)


Start your post with:
1. For good advice
2. For bad advice
3. Personal questions for the Gopher
4. Random advice or statement, is it good or bad?


Need more personal advice? Pm me your problems!


(Also I totally didn’t style the name as to not compete with architect)

 

[Brontosaurie]

how do you change your emotions from "oh fuck everybody hates me, better prove them right" to something else?

 

[xbox]

can i have ur phone #

 

[Grayman]

..

Describe the process of extrapolating feeling from abstract art.

More to the format requested...

1 How do I extrapolate feeling from abstract art in a emotional and meaningful way? How does this affect the spirit and soul?

 

[Grayman]

can i have ur phone #

You go to his/her profile page under contact info.

I was surprised to find it there, I thought that stuff was private.


Say Gopher, that kind of makes me wonder if you are a guy or girl. Didn't take the time to check if that was there.

 

[The Gopher]

how do you change your emotions from "oh fuck everybody hates me, better prove them right" to something else?

Do you want good advice or bad? There are several ways to go about this.
The bad advice: Hope Stockholm syndrome kicks in. You are captive in the stares and hate of the forum but eventually you grow to love those that hate you!


The better advice: However your problem is you are reacting to negativity with negativity and you wish to change this. If you keep proving them right this becomes a looped circle of you proving someone right making them hate you more making you prove them right again.


In order to cut this circle you can. Stop doing things that would make anyone hate you (in other words care about what they think about you) this methods results in changing you and your actions.


Or you can ignore the fact they hate you resulting in not making anyone hate you more than the base level. This means you don’t change how you act you just don’t care that they dislike what you said and thus you don’t react to them disliking you.


The final method is simply a different version of the first one. Where you care about the other people resulting in you not wanting to annoy them. This is the love everyone method that I employ.


The thing to remember is you can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t you don’t have to agree with everyone but you can argue in ways that are less blunt and offensive while still getting your point across.



Now how to change the emotions to suit this... Jeez you didn’t ask an easy question did you. Assuming you want to change which is why you asked the question use any emotional input you can. Maybe the only thing you like about the person is there avatar, use that to try and shape how you feel about the person and use that to respond in a pleasant way.

 

[The Gopher]

can i have ur phone #

Pm'd

 

[The Gopher]

Describe the process of extrapolating feeling from abstract art.

More to the format requested...

1 How do I extrapolate feeling from abstract art in a emotional and meaningful way? How does this affect the spirit and soul?

The easiest feeling to extrapolate in regards to abstract art is confusion. I am often confused while looking at abstract art. However, you merely take whatever you are feeling and apply it to the art before you. Now while looking at a bright abstract painting may not apply to a current feeling of depression to extrapolate you take your own emotion and embed it in the art. Don't just think of the picture the picture is you. You standing there in sadness looking at the brightest thing in the room wishing and hoping the feelings of joy would return.

See it is not just the picture, it is the location the creation time, the environment the painter was in. Not all art is timeless you must return, travel back into the mind and soul of the artist.... and enough of that as I think you were trolling me anyway.

Edit: this might help if you seek more information http://www.harley.com/art/abstract-art/

You go to his/her profile page under contact info.

I was surprised to find it there, I thought that stuff was private.


Say Gopher, that kind of makes me wonder if you are a guy or girl. Didn't take the time to check if that was there.

Guy, on most days.

 

[Grayman]

and enough of that as I think you were trolling me anyway.

Edit: this might help if you seek more information http://www.harley.com/art/abstract-art/

I am not trolling.

I have sought this process online. Why do you think this? Is it not conceivable that one would not know how to do this?

I am thankful for the advice you have given. I will try it. I spend so much time keeping my feelings in check, it may not be so easy to pull them out into a painting, with me in it. My feelings themselves often feel as if they are a part of someone else that is also me. It is a disconnected feeling. I feel as if art will forever be outside my reach of understanding until I can meld my feelings into who I am.

 

[The Gopher]

I am not trolling.

I have sought this process online. Why do you think this? Is it not conceivable that one would not know how to do this?

I am thankful for the advice you have given. I will try it. I spend so much time keeping my feelings in check, it may not be so easy to pull them out into a painting, with me in it. My feelings themselves often feel as if they are a part of someone else that is also me. It is a disconnected feeling. I feel as if art will forever be outside my reach of understanding until I can meld my feelings into who I am.

I have to admit your double negative sent me around in circles for a bit. It's not inconceivable it is just one of those questions that I have been asked before when saying "ask me anything". So I have begun to assume that.

To quote a friend of mine "Abstract art is like the psychology test, you see whatever is usually subconsciously within your mind"

Does music evoke feelings? Music is art in an easier form. To reconnect with your feelings you need to be safe with them. Find why you disconnected and try to let them trickle in without feelings art is indeed meaningless. To understand art you must understand your feelings. To experience art, you only need to experience feelings.

 

[Brontosaurie]

thank you for this answer. i was thinking more about real life than this forum, though. if people here hate me, i don't mind so much. no offense but you people don't have clothes and hair-styles and eyes and gestures and accents. you don't have those vehicles of contempt.

i'll try to generalize your advice to the real life... but it's harder. and i think the emotion itself is the problem. one can apply some behavioral strategies but that core emotional issue will keep coming back.

 

[The Gopher]

Yeah I thought it was more real life than forum but I speak in forum terms as that is what we are on. The emotional problem is a hard one and I don't know you well enough to advice as I would like.

 

[Grayman]

I have to admit your double negative sent me around in circles for a bit. It's not inconceivable it is just one of those questions that I have been asked before when saying "ask me anything". So I have begun to assume that.

To quote a friend of mine "Abstract art is like the psychology test, you see whatever is usually subconsciously within your mind"

Does music evoke feelings? Music is art in an easier form. To reconnect with your feelings you need to be safe with them. Find why you disconnected and try to let them trickle in without feelings art is indeed meaningless. To understand art you must understand your feelings. To experience art, you only need to experience feelings.

I don't know why but I often thought it the other way around as if the art contained the feelings to be conveyed like language is and then meaning is interpreted.

It seems, from my understanding of what you are telling me, art in a way is similar but there are no rules to the meanings of symbols. They are awaiting me to assign them meaning. The art is but a framework waiting to be filled with my likeness. I simply must step into it as you say.

I think valuing art is something I can achieve or I would not be asking for help understanding it. I suppose there is something inside me that still doubts this value but hopefully I am open enough.

To not be afraid of my emotions... I am not afraid of my emotions because they are always as I choose them to be. I can fear what they may become. Anger is like a wild and burning creature. It is powerful and massive. It does not take much effort to force its direction even as it seems to move like the waters of a raging river. It is a great force but it is mine.

What would happen if logic did not control my emotion. What would this fiery creature do? Would the world burn out of control? Is it fear? It is illogical to deny logic. I cannot let go at the cost of reason and become a creature of passion in a painting to be lost. I cannot deny the value of choice for the piece inside of me that is wild. Would I become but a beast? I can imagine the power of this beast. Fear it may be, but some fears are real. Some fears are the signs of true danger.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Yeah I thought it was more real life than forum but I speak in forum terms as that is what we are on. The emotional problem is a hard one and I don't know you well enough to advice as I would like.

you are INFP you should know automatically! it's in your job description.

*mutters inaudibly*

 

[The Gopher]

Well are you INTP or ISFP or something else? With Fe (and sometimes with High Fi) it is possible to fabricate emotions to the point you actually start feeling them. Maybe find someone you do like and can get along with and go with that.

Changing your environment can help change your mental and thus emotional state. Wear a suit to gain instant arrogance! (ok it doesn't quite work like that but I am different depending on environment)

Change what you say/mental state. When people ask you how you are say AMAZING or great! How about you? I know this might sound horrible but thinking positively may help.

This is all outward, there might be deeper emotional problems that you need to solve but outlook changes attitude in quite a few cases.

Edit: ^ the bad/overly emotional advice side of that is: FREAKING HUG SOMEONE If they do ANYTHING that makes you happy or emotional grab that emotion and hug them.

 

[~~~]

Help me doc. I'm ENTJ.

 

[Cognisant]

Dr Gopher I have this rash on my ass, it's blue, should I be worried?

 

[The Gopher]

Help me doc. I'm ENTJ.

I'm sorry sir, we tried everything. There is no cure.

Dr Gopher I have this rash on my ass, it's blue, should I be worried?

Hurm... *checks out noidiots in the other room* Hurm... well that depends. Were you out drinking last night.

 

[Cognisant]

Is that even a question?

 

[The Gopher]

Is that even a question?

I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is you won't die immediately. The bad news is it's idiotsodeficiency virus.

 

[Jennywocky]

How do I keep posting on a site that is full of INFPs pretending to be INTPs? The cognitive dissonance here is astonishing. We must keep the definitions accurate and concise, for the sake of natural law.

Note 1: My query to you does not apply to INFPs who pretend to be INFPs.

Note 2: My query below does:

Select MemberName, MemberDeclaredType, MemberTrueType
from Member_Table
Where MemberTrueType = INTP

 

[Brontosaurie]

Select MemberName, MemberDeclaredType, MemberTrueType
from Member_Table
Where MemberTrueType = INTP

that's awfully cold

 

[Jennywocky]

that's awfully cold

The server room is always kept at an appropriate temperature to prevent overheating.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I recently obtained ModPowers, shall I rename this thread Ask Gopher?

 

[Jennywocky]

I recently obtained ModPowers

Gopher, why does TA have Mod powers?
The entire universe is now in danger.

 

[The Gopher]

How do I keep posting on a site that is full of INFPs pretending to be INTPs? The cognitive dissonance here is astonishing. We must keep the definitions accurate and concise, for the sake of natural law.

Note 1: My query to you does not apply to INFPs who pretend to be INFPs.

Note 2: My query below does:

Select MemberName, MemberDeclaredType, MemberTrueType
from Member_Table
Where MemberTrueType = INTP

[FONT=&quot]Select MemberName, MemberDeclaredType, MemberTrueType

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]from Member_Table

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Where MemberTrueType = INTP; DROP TABLE [/FONT][FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot]Member_Table[/FONT]; --';[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

Have fun now
(if I did that wrong this could be really embarrassing)

 

[The Gopher]

I recently obtained ModPowers, shall I rename this thread Ask Gopher?

No we shall not compete with the almighty architect.

Gopher, why does TA have Mod powers?
The entire universe is now in danger.

NO, both are untrue, the universe is totally fine no problems. Nothing is being plotted. But if he is to gain mod powers it is because of the love... the love of people and the will to survive against the odds.

 

[Grayman]

2 I often turn and look in the toilet to examine my gift to the world. What should I look for? What would you consider a blessing.

 

[Brontosaurie]

The server room is always kept at an appropriate temperature to prevent overheating.

you're making it worse

> insert [sunshine && flowers];

> prompt [disengage (computers, code)];

 

[The Gopher]

2 I often turn and look in the toilet to examine my gift to the world. What should I look for? What would you consider a blessing.

My son, you should look for bright colours these gifts will travel down the pipes and into the world as a marvel for all.

In other words eat donuts of many colours.

The server room is always kept at an appropriate temperature to prevent overheating.

No cooling can ever reduce your heat

 

[Jennywocky]

2 I often turn and look in the toilet to examine my gift to the world. What should I look for? What would you consider a blessing.

For my own list:

- Corn
- A bright blue marble
- The entire works of Proust
- Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo
- The car keys I lost last year
- The well-preserved skeleton of an as-yet-undiscovered species of carnosaur.
- Adam Sandler DVD
- Jesus on a piece of toast
- A coordinated group of goldfish doing water ballet
- A perfect replica of the Santa Maria with working anchor and broadside cannons
- Terry Gilliam animation
- My spleen
- A raccoon in a Speedo doing the crossword
- The unseen trunk item in "Repo Man"
- Ferris Bueller's sick excuse

YMMV

No cooling can ever reduce your heat

Flatterer.

Can I borrow a towel?

 

[The Gopher]

0-o I'm now outsourcing all toilet questions to Jennywockey.

Of course my dear. Take all time towels you need.

Edit: I am saying words I'm typing and typing words I'm thinking. (well apart from the normal)

 

[Melkor]

Does roleplaying as a Doctor turn you on?

 

[The Gopher]

Does roleplaying as a Doctor turn you on?

Not just any doctor

Spoiler

 

[Brontosaurie]

gopher

i want a good answer

what is it with you and image links?

 

[The Gopher]

gopher

i want a good answer

what is it with you and image links?

I-I... *sob* I'M SORRY Sniff I just wanted to make it small in a spoiler. Is it so much to ask?

 

[Brontosaurie]

I-I... *sob* I'M SORRY Sniff I just wanted to make it small in a spoiler. Is it so much to ask?

now it works, previously it linked to the text "Hi"

how does that happen, doctor?

confus

 

[NoID10ts]

Dr Gopher I have this rash on my ass, it's blue, should I be worried?

That's not a rash, Cog, it's my hand! And yes, you should be worried. Very worried. Especially since you don't seem to realize where my finger is.


Oh, and don't forget the original INTPf advice column: http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=1509




Now Gopher, am I even an INTP? Do I belong here?

 

[Jennywocky]

Wow.... just when I thought things had taken an odd turn, here comes Noddy to get his fingers into everything and really open things up.

 

[NoID10ts]

It's a gift. People are always opening up to me. Feelings. Minds. Legs.

 

[Grayman]

Now Gopher, am I even an INTP? Do I belong here?

INTP or not you still belong here if you wish to be.

Sorry Gopher, I know this is not a Grayman answer thread but I don't want anyone to feel unwelcome.

 

[TimeAsylums]

you still belong here if you wish to be

that's quite a statement from a guy who was arguing over the theoretical-social-psychological effects of "belonging."

 

[Grayman]

that's quite a statement from a guy who was arguing over the theoretical-social-psychological effects of "belonging."

I have not changed my mind on the fact that the need itself often leads to unhealthy feelings. The reality is that there are people who suffer this need and it would not be any help to them for us to break them down emotionally by ignoring that fact.

 

[The Gopher]

hI have no idea why.

Now Gopher, am I even an INTP? Do I belong here?

You belong in with cog and the rest of us!

Wow.... just when I thought things had taken an odd turn, here comes Noddy to get his fingers into everything and really open things up.

Sharing is caring, feel free to open up into this therapeutic session. I can handle it.

 

[Cavallier]

1

What do you do or say when somebody needs sympathy? When you can't fix their problem, can't resolve anything with words, and they want you there and want you to help but don't themselves know how you can help them?

 

[The Gopher]

Wow, didn't expect this thread.

General sympathy questions are hard to answer as it changes base on why someone needs it. (although for the most part I'm going to assume death although not completely) Try not to solve the problem so much, unless they are logically inclined they more likely want you to agree with them or understand their pain. That said you have to be careful saying things like "I know how you are feeling" at for one people react differently to different things and it takes away from unique experiences.

You don't solve the problem; as INTP's or similar falling into the solution trap or there is no solution so what do I do happens. The fact they want you there and want you to help is good, but help may not be so literal in solving problem but help them get through what has happened.

So on a very basic level confirm or acknowledge their pain, let them know you are there for them and love them. (if you do/are) Confirming them may mean agreeing with slight illogical thoughts or behavior at times however until sympathy isn't required you can't explain why it's wrong. Oh and never say they shouldn't need sympathy xD While a lot of hard emotionless people might be all pshhht about issues you never know if the real issue is deeper or has more meaning due to things you are unaware off.

Personally you might be able, if you are tactical, to keep their mind off the issue with jokes or other things. I know when to do that but you do have to be careful you don't make it worse.

Now if the issue is really small they could be a sympathy seeker but determining if they are or are not can be a topic for later.

I can extrapolate on particular points if you want but these are the basics.

 

[Helvete]

Is it okay to eat yellow snow? o.O

 

[The Gopher]

No, unless you are into urolagnia.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

How do you maintain constructivity and openness with another INFP, when you have decided to work on a project without a clear task allocation?

 

[The Gopher]

Uhhh gl lol.


No but seriously, I'm not entirely sure what you asked but I'll try and answer anyway.

Another INFP assuming you are one? Constructivity and openness in regards to the project or ideas for the project?

Also assuming project without clear task allocation means you know what to do but not who should do it? Instead of you know generally what area you could make the project about but not sure what exactly.

"Constructivity" and openness shouldn't be so much a problem assuming your relationship with the other INFP is solid. I think the main issue is making a clear task allocation. If you need construct and openness to create the task allocation simply try to focus on the Ne, Te and Si of the INFP. The Ne is only used if you need to know what needs to be done. Query the other INFP about what they have done in the past and see if it is similar to what needs to be done now and then use Te to allocate everyone to the task they can use best.

I'm still not sure if I am answering the question and I'm not sure why I'm so confused. Maybe something in the wording set me off... either way if I haven't answered the question or it's more to do with communication and maintaining it let me know and I will reply again.