Question for Introverts

[chocolate]

So, in the 'awkward pause' thread, there are some really interesting posts, and it got me thinking about introvert/extravert interactions, mainly from my own point of view.

I am not a pushy person, and when I meet people, I find that if they are not too responsive to my social intiatives, I will give up rather quickly. The reason is that I don't want to push someone into/try to maintain a conversation if they're not interested.

However, I have noticed that in certain instances I have been proven wrong that people didn't want to talk/didn't like me etc, and sometimes it is the other way around -- they thought I didn't like them. I have noticed that when I have relationships with introverts, it is usually because of the situation -- either they are family, in my class everyday, or they are a friend of a friend that I see often, or something like that where eventually we just get comfortable with each other. But I find it hard to intiate those friendships on my own.

So my question is: how to talk to introverts? More specifically, how do I know when I'm pushing a conversation? How do I know when you are just a deadpan-expression type of person (to use an expression from the other thread) as opposed to secretly hoping I'll go away*? I don't want to make anyone feel unwelcome ever, but I have been thinking about it and I do tend to treat extraverts differently, simply because they are easier for me to talk to and read. And I also don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, or from my own point of view, feel foolish for talking to someone who is just wishing the conversation would be over, or I never approached them in the first place).

(*besides melkor or whateverhisnameisthisweek, he's pretty clear!)

 

[Minuend]

How to answer this. I enjoy being talked to, at the same time, I have problems with knowing what to say. And afterwards, I usually believe I said something stupid. As long as I like the person, I enjoy that s/he is talking to me. At the same time, I feel very uncomfortable. If I don't like someone, I answer very shortly, avoid eye contact and tilt my head down a little. But I guess some people that are shy act this way as well. But I think with me, you would be able to tell the difference. I'm kinda mean to people I don't like. =| I'm just not able to respect them like I do others. I have a hard time looking at people I don't respect for some reason. Oh well, getting sidetracked.

I never make the first move. Come to think about it, all my friends were the ones who initiated contact with me. I've never taken the first step. I'm also hard to get to know. It takes a lot of time before I'm comfortable around someone.

Telling the difference between a shy person, and a person that don't want to talk to you isn't that easy I guess.

 

[loveofreason]

I just tried to write a clear sensible reply to this and I couldn't...

when you talk about socialising.... what do you mean?

Stuck at the checkout at the supermarket?

A business meeting?

The hairdressers?

Or... something that all the participants have voluntarily attended for the purpose of having 'fun'?

 

[sagewolf]

Try telling jokes or being really, overtly, utterly unmistakably light-hearted and funny. That's an easy way to get an introvert to see that you're trying to have a conversation with them and be nice/friendly/outgoing.

Also, I find (and I think other Is probably do to, judging from the people here and my friends IRL) that conversations are a lot easier when I understand their purpose. I have no idea what small talk is, what it's meant to accomplish, or how to carry it out. I do know how to be funny, or talk about what movies I like, or whine about sucky classes and horrible tests. Don't just talk about anything and expect an introvert to reciprocate: pick a subject. You don't have to stick to it, but make the subject pretty damn clear from the start.

 

[bdubs]

Just goes to show you just how little I know about small talk. I assumed that talking about a difficult exam/ popular movie was small talk. I will agree that having a solid stating point is a great way to get the ball rolling. Otherwise one might fall into the ever popular consersation trap consisting of
Speaker A: "Hey, whats up?"

Speaker B: "Nothing much."

*silence*

"whats up" has become more of a greating than an actual question these days.

 

[sagewolf]

I think those things are small talk, only it's all of them nearly at once, one right after the other. Only, when other people do it, it keeps going, somehow. I do not get that. Mentioning one topic in every different exchange of sentences is bizarre and confusing, and I just can't change topics on a dime like that.

 

[Ermine]

I think the biggest thing is knowing that silence does not equal dislike. I've gotten the cold shoulder from quite a few extroverts simply because I wasn't open and talkative in my first conversation with them. Also, try to appear open. With extroverted friends, I don't approach them when they are with large groups, unless I'm familiar with everyone in the group. I usually wait until they are alone. Of course, this hardly ever is possible, so look/be open, and make a conscious effort at incorporating me into the group.

Also, I'm not very expressive when I talk, so concentrate on what I'm saying rather than my body language. And though I don't love talking for extended periods of time, I love to answer questions about myself and things I'm interested in. Anyone does. So questions will help a lot.

 

[chocolate]

Hey thanks guise this is great. It really gives me a new perspective. I noticed with one guy at school (bf of an aquaintance), every time I say hi to him he barely looks at me and will never ask me "how are you?" or anything. Then one day a bunch of us were at the pub after school and I happened to be sitting near him. I started a conversation with another guy next to him (his friend) about biology (what he was studying) and then the first guy (who I strongly suspect is an INTP) started getting into the conversation and then he and I ended up having a very nice conversation for about half an hour! He told me all about cancer etc. from a scientific perspective. Now he is back to barely looking at me but I know it's just the way he is. Sometimes I admit I get intimidated by introverts but I want to work on not being that way.

I really like to get to know people, esp. people who are studying something different from me, or if I think they are smart and I'd like to hear their opinion about something. Sometimes I just want to go up to them and ask them "Do you know anything about the big bang? Care to talk about it?", or anything else that's been on my mind, but then I think that would be really weird! But now that a lot of you have said you don't like small talk, maybe that wouldn't be so weird after all!

I also can get very bored of small talk. I usually turn it into something else pretty soon "what did you do today?", "I went to a lecture, ...", then me "Oh, what was that about?" and then it turns into an interesting conversation. One thing I can't stand is when people are having a conversation about what happened on a tv show. Soooooooooo boring!

@LoR: More like the last one you mentioned, or else if a bunch of us are eating lunch together for example. I will make short jokes in supermarket lines etc., but I don't really socialize in those situations.

 

[chocolate]

I think the biggest thing is knowing that silence does not equal dislike.

I will remember this Ermine! Thanks!

 

[chocolate]

Try telling jokes or being really, overtly, utterly unmistakably light-hearted and funny. That's an easy way to get an introvert to see that you're trying to have a conversation with them and be nice/friendly/outgoing.

Thanks sagewolf. This is great and will be easy for me. I am naturally like this. The funny thing is, I am very adaptable to my surroundings so if someone is less light-hearted I will think "oh no, they are not liking the happy me and think I'm an idiot" and then adapt to their energy level. It's not like I try to do that, it's kind of automatic. But that's good to know: when I think about it I have made even some INTPs laugh at my light-hearted jokes before. And once I dated a very introverted INTJ and after we got together (it took him two months to ask me out but that's nothing compared to an INFP that took 8 months!!), he told me he loved how I was so expressive...

 

[chocolate]

How have a hard time looking at people I don't respect for some reason. Oh well, getting sidetracked.

I can identify with this. It takes a lot for me not to like someone, so when I do it means they have done something that I really don't respect. Then I find it really hard to pretend I like them, I usually just avoid them in that case.

 

[Kuu]

Sometimes I just want to go up to them and ask them "Do you know anything about the big bang? Care to talk about it?", or anything else that's been on my mind, but then I think that would be really weird!

That'd be great! Introverts are weird, so it's good to have something familiar.

People never do that, though... Just be very open about it and ask honestly because otherwise the introvert can be all "meh.. this person doesn't care / won't understand my true thoughts".

 

[Da Blob]

Try telling jokes or being really, overtly, utterly unmistakably light-hearted and funny. That's an easy way to get an introvert to see that you're trying to have a conversation with them and be nice/friendly/outgoing.

Ummm I know this off-topic, but since you brought the subject up. I have Never been able to tell a joke, and rarely find humor in another's joke. Am I alone in this?

I do have a sense of humor, but admittedly its warped
based on word-play Self-effacement or sometime even dark blatant sadism...
(oooh! Did I say that out loud? I meant to say Sarcasm, or was it satirism...?)

 

[Ermine]

Yeah, if you ask about almost blatantly weird things, I'm a lot more likely to be receptive. Even when people do ask me about myself, I have a hard time taking them seriously because they wouldn't "understand" me. But that's probably just my problem.

 

[chocolate]

@da blob, I find a lot of things funny. This forum cracks me up for e.g.

 

[sagewolf]

@Da Blob: I suppose that honestly speaking, I don't really find a lot of people's jokes funny. But if they're actually telling me a joke, or if I'm having one of those days and want to be part of a (still always small) group, then I pretend to laugh at things, and no-one can tell the difference for the most part. No-one really gets my sense of humor as it is either, but I can still often make people laugh. That's actually the backbone of my interactions with most of them, although I have had really long and involved conversations with them at times.

 

[chocolate]

@Da Blob: I suppose that honestly speaking, I don't really find a lot of people's jokes funny. But if they're actually telling me a joke, or if I'm having one of those days and want to be part of a (still always small) group, then I pretend to laugh at things, and no-one can tell the difference for the most part. No-one really gets my sense of humor as it is either, but I can still often make people laugh. That's actually the backbone of my interactions with most of them, although I have had really long and involved conversations with them at times.

Da blob: I laugh at a lot of the things you've written.
sagewolf: you too. Maybe I don't get it, and am getting something I'm not supposed to get, but I think you both can be pretty hilarious.

(mind you I'm a touch warped...)

 

[Xel]

So my question is: how to talk to introverts?.

Ask us to explain something we are interested and hopefully you are interested in too. After that you can have it evolve from there.

 

[sagewolf]

@chocolate: cool. I am actually fairly good at making other people laugh: it's when I just think of something and crack up in class or on the bus. I get weird looks for laughing in the first place and I just know that if I explain why I'm laughing to them they'll start giving me a five-foot radius. It might also be that when I talk, everything gets muddled up and I don't know what I'm saying, but when I'm on here or anywhere else on the internet, I'm writing everything down and I can think about what I'm saying. So it probably translates better from my brain to the World.

 

[Jordan~]

*twitches*

Someone said "for e.g."...

 

[chocolate]

@chocolate: cool. I am actually fairly good at making other people laugh: it's when I just think of something and crack up in class or on the bus. I get weird looks for laughing in the first place and I just know that if I explain why I'm laughing to them they'll start giving me a five-foot radius. It might also be that when I talk, everything gets muddled up and I don't know what I'm saying, but when I'm on here or anywhere else on the internet, I'm writing everything down and I can think about what I'm saying. So it probably translates better from my brain to the World.

Yeah maybe! See to me, even just the way you explained that was pretty funny...probably the 5 foot radius part! I imagine someone on the bus who looks exactly like your avatar...anyway...

haha, for the extravert there is no translation from the brain to the world: it's a direct line!

@ Jordan: that was probably me, sorry!

 

[cheese]

Here my I-ness comes out!

I think Sagewolf had some good points:
"being really, overtly, utterly unmistakably light-hearted and funny"

Yes, definitely. I worry the person is being friendly out of mere social decorum, and often I feel convinced they don't actually want to be there. If you do, make it VERY CLEAR. The response might be a little surprise or stand-offishness, even from a receptive I, but just keep going till it gets up and walks away in disgust. At that point you'll know to try again in another month. If that distresses you:

How to recognise total lack of interest:
1. It looks away, even while you're talking
2. It laughs weakly or not at all, and never responds verbally
3. Its whole body is turned away
4. It pulls out a gun and shoots you (try to avoid this variety)

Keep in mind though that 1-3 could also be a result of extreme shyness. However the truly uninterested should be recognisable through sacrcasm in their laughter and expression (if any).

"make the subject pretty damn clear from the start."

Defined conversations are much easier for the I; if you provide a topic, it'll try to respond if interested.

RE questions - yes, most people like talking about themselves but try not to turn it into an interview (as you mentioned in another thread that you have a tendency to do - so do I). Also, give the I time to expand on its answers - silence doesn't mean you need another question unless the I starts snoring.

"look/be open, and make a conscious effort at incorporating me into the group." - Ermine

Absolutely essential as the I needs to know it's wanted. Make it obvious - but not so obvious that it looks like the kindly E is taking pity on the poor, loserly I.

"I really like to get to know people, esp. people who are studying something different from me, or if I think they are smart and I'd like to hear their opinion about something. Sometimes I just want to go up to them and ask them "Do you know anything about the big bang? Care to talk about it?", or anything else that's been on my mind, but then I think that would be really weird! But now that a lot of you have said you don't like small talk, maybe that wouldn't be so weird after all!" - Choc

I have these urges as well, though I act on them far less than I'd like to. I think Is, especially INTPs, would appreciate this approach, because it's weird - but so are we.

"if someone is less light-hearted I will think "oh no, they are not liking the happy me and think I'm an idiot" and then adapt to their energy level." - Choc

If the I is not a rabid, slavering I, try getting it to adapt to your energy level. Don't back down for once. Broaden its horizons!

And a few points of my own so it's not blatantly clear I'm pretty much plagiarising:

Make the right amount of eye-contact
- don't look around the room while you're talking to an I - if you have somewhere better to be, bugger off and be there
- but don't stare at the I all the time - it is intense enough on its own; additional input may cause combustion

Try a few topics of conversation before giving up, while remembering to provide about 5 minutes' space between each for the I to process your question, analyse it, think of a response, analyse the response, discard the response in light of suddenly remembered counter-evidence, feel awkward about the increasing silence and finally provide an answer after repeating the process twice.

Be very, very nice. If you're talking to a member of the opposite sex(/gay member of the same) this might have unwanted consequences, so be careful here. But do show that you are truly interested in the I's thoughts, and provide thoughts about its thoughts to make this interest explicit. Physical contact is unnecessary for this purpose, and may lead to consequences mentioned above.


"I get intimidated by introverts but I want to work on not being that way." - Choc

 

[Enlightenstorm]

Ask us to explain something we are interested and hopefully you are interested in too. After that you can have it evolve from there.

^
Tht works really well.
Also u can be patient and friendly (dont force it or be put down when we give u just a smile). We require heaps of time to get to no u before we let u into our circle. >.<

 

[didyouknow]

As for body language:

I've tried to analyze briefly how I behave when talking to different individuals. Eye contact is the most important.

I've noticed that when I am interested, I will look at speaker while he is talking, look away while thinking of a response and look back when responding. However, when I'm not interested (probably because I don't like this person) then I will either only look at them while they are speaking and not look back at all (sometimes though this also happens because I cannot think of a response) or even not look at all.

Complete avoidance of any, ANY eye contact definately tells you this person really, really doesn't like you. Even a shy person will be polite enough to look at you while you are speaking.

Visible (invisible) cues:

A (drunk) extrovert once accused me of not liking them because I showed no outwardly signs of it. I didn't even realise they felt this way. Either it's just me, or all introverts that seem to lack knowledge of how they behave unless asked to do so. Be frank, be brutal, be absolutely honest. I cannot stress that enough.

Conversation topics:

You would go up to someone and ask about the big bang theory?? If only this happened in real life!

On that note, I had a conversation with another INTP today that started out with simple math help and turned into a debate about the nature of the time-space continuum. No joke. We like weird topics.

 

[RobertJ]

Try telling jokes or being really, overtly, utterly unmistakably light-hearted and funny. That's an easy way to get an introvert to see that you're trying to have a conversation with them and be nice/friendly/outgoing.

Also, I find (and I think other Is probably do to, judging from the people here and my friends IRL) that conversations are a lot easier when I understand their purpose. I have no idea what small talk is, what it's meant to accomplish, or how to carry it out. I do know how to be funny, or talk about what movies I like, or whine about sucky classes and horrible tests. Don't just talk about anything and expect an introvert to reciprocate: pick a subject. You don't have to stick to it, but make the subject pretty damn clear from the start.

This. I have almost no patience for small talk. I need to feel like there is a point to a conversation. For example, when I receive a phone call and there is no particular subject and I realize someone called "just to talk" I actually get angry sometimes.

 

[cheese]

Yes. Small talk on phones is one of the worst things in the world. There are no other sensory cues to provide interesting information about the other person. It is a terribly tiresome trial.

 

[echoplex]

I say give them the most pertinent information, to avoid overloading them, and them let them decide what's worth talking about from there. Us introverts will gladly talk if the subject is interesting to us. We're just more picky about interaction because we have a short window before it gets to be exhausting.

 

[Ghost1986]

i try to ask lots of questions. look in to a program called conversation confidence, i like it so far. also look in to "how to win friends and influence people". both will help loosen people up.

i was also told not to pause more than 30sec with new or unfamiliar people. if you do, get out of the situation case its dead.

body language and tone are much more important than what you say. use open body language, use eye contact but dont stare, smile, face them, mirror their body language and other tedious things i dont remember. i do my damnedest to make sure they talk more than me. i get in trouble when i talk.

it also helps if your not a jackass like me.

 

[Concojones]

Chocolate,

Don't worry too much about it. Know that there are plenty of introverts who'd be absolutely charmed by your behaviour (I, for one), with no additional efforts from your side.

That reminds me of something else, related to what you said about you adjusting your energy level to the other party - let's assume here that's me. What I typically see when talking with someone like you, is that after a while 'you' do indeed lower your energy level, probably mirror my own (lower) output energy (hey I'm an introvert). When I see that happen, I think "oh what a pity, let's see if we can get back that enthusiasm" by trying to be less serious, long-winded, trying to spice up the conversation, but usually with only partial success. Hence my question: how do I get someone like you to (again) shout out 'oh yeah that's SOOOOO bla bla'? Any tips?

 

[Kidege]

I've noticed that when I am interested, I will look at speaker while he is talking, look away while thinking of a response and look back when responding. However, when I'm not interested (probably because I don't like this person) then I will either only look at them while they are speaking and not look back at all (sometimes though this also happens because I cannot think of a response) or even not look at all.

*Points at self* Different culture, same behaviour.

A (drunk) extrovert once accused me of not liking them because I showed no outwardly signs of it.

An extrovert I didn't like asked me once, in a very public place, if I liked him. I don't know what he expected (intimidate me into saying yes?), but he got a rotund and public no. I didn't even deign to look at him.

 

[chocolate]

Chocolate,

Don't worry too much about it. Know that there are plenty of introverts who'd be absolutely charmed by your behaviour (I, for one), with no additional efforts from your side.

That reminds me of something else, related to what you said about you adjusting your energy level to the other party - let's assume here that's me. What I typically see when talking with someone like you, is that after a while 'you' do indeed lower your energy level, probably mirror my own (lower) output energy (hey I'm an introvert). When I see that happen, I think "oh what a pity, let's see if we can get back that enthusiasm" by trying to be less serious, long-winded, trying to spice up the conversation, but usually with only partial success. Hence my question: how do I get someone like you to (again) shout out 'oh yeah that's SOOOOO bla bla'? Any tips?

Hi Conco,

I'll keep that in mind thanks! (you are new? Nice to meet you... ).

Let's see, I think part of the issue too is embarassment that the animated me will seem frivolous or worse yet -- annoying. Things that work for me are a little smile or a joke (I find INTPs incredibly funny), or if you laugh at my joke or continue it. ( I love nothing more than making dorkier and dorkier rational-type jokes (though I prefer to call them 'clever' ) back and forth ). I suppose I just need some positive enforcement (just a little is ok) that you are having fun and appreciate my energy. A little smile will usually do it actually, or a positive comment about something I said 'that's an interesting question', something like that. I very much respond to those little things.

Chocky.


Btw, update for everyone: I am getting MUCH better with this, although I'm still intimidated sometimes and confused about what to do. I have some INTP friends at school, and I find them both easiest to talk to (once the conversation gets started) and the hardest (the initiation, I'm still working on that but I'm not exactly sure what I'm so afraid of).

Thanks for all the perspectives

 

[Concojones]

Nice to meet you too, Chocolate, and everyone else!
I got here the other day, saw some fascination discussion and dove right in, not bothering to introduce myself at the Introit forum (blame the INTP in me )

Additional thought in reply to your original question:

So my question is: how to talk to introverts? More specifically, how do I know when I'm pushing a conversation? How do I know when you are just a deadpan-expression type of person as opposed to secretly hoping I'll go away*?

1. At my university department, the majority of my fellow-students were actually introverts. I don't recall any not-willing-to-talk types though, so most likely you've been worrying for no reason. As a previous poster said, extraverts are too quick to assume a lack of interest/sympathy from our side, and that's our biggest tragedy. So you definitely want to pay attention to our subtle emotional expressions.

2. On the other hand, when an extravert starts talking/joking to me, I have to admit that sometimes I don't feel like it (usually because I'm in deep thoughts, trying to figure something out, so unknowingly he's interrupting). But, if the other party persists and stays upbeat, laid-back, my mood changes over the course of a few seconds (feels like thawing out) and I happily join in. And now that I think of it, this upbeat, laid-back persistence was the exact technique I used to strike up a conversation with silent/absent-minded students, and that must be why I don't recall any not-willing-to-talk types. It's all about how you handle them.

 

[Weliddryn]

My recent conversations with extroverts went along the lines of this:

Person: What's up?!
Me: The ceiling.
Person: How are you?
Me: Fine.
Person: How's life?
Me: I'm not good at talking to people.
Person: Why is that?
Me: Long story. Complicated.
<conversation over.>

Person 2: Hi, my name is Brandon.
Me: *glances, looks away* Yup.
Person 2: Quiet...
Me: Very.
Person 2: Ah, well, see ya.
Me: See ya.
<end conversation.>

With me, it is entirely dependent on whether I am in the mood for conversation- you simply cannot reach me if I am not in the mood to talk. And I am rarely in the mood to talk.

I would imagine that in most cases you would get a sense of discomfort in conversation, and if this happens, you should probably back off. Too much conversation can be exhausting, unless it is about an interesting topic. If you engage in an interesting topic in your first conversation, it will probably give the introvert a fleeting hope that you will engage them in conversation, again, but after they have taken time to think about the last conversation, if they are perceiving, they may begin to second guess everything, and a second attempt at conversing may fail.

Honesty and being blunt are probably key in the engagement of conversation. With time, and patience, trust should grow and conversation should come more easy. Keep in mind that introverts often have few, but close, friendships, they do not open up to people easily, so time spent may be essential in easy conversation.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Maybe its just me; but I have tend to respect people who are blatantly weird and unapologetic about it. Mind you not if they are unnecessarily loud or attention seeking. For me most people seem too boring and easy to understand. When I meet someone I don't understand I become absolutely fascinated and I will actively seek them out. Though this is sometimes short-lived, especially if the person starts angling for compliments or if they merely want to be listened to by a human wall. I'm pretty cold aren't I.

 

[Ermine]

Person: What's up?!
Me: The ceiling.
Person: How are you?
Me: Fine.
Person: How's life?
Me: I'm not good at talking to people.
Person: Why is that?
Me: Long story. Complicated.
<conversation over.>

Exactly! I'm sick and tired of extroverts trying to initiate a conversation with boring empty questions. Most extroverts think I'm boring and empty because they ask boring and empty questions.

 

[zephryi]

I agree with Ermine; when people approach me in a friendly context, I often find that very shortly, I don't know what to say, and what the other person says is unengaging (is that a word? Firefox insists it isn't...) so I try to cut off the conversation quickly. It really seems to help, though, if the person shows interest in whatever project I've got in front of me and through there, we can find common ground- or is lucky and stumbles upon something interesting. XD
Initiating and continuing a successful conversation seems to often just be about the subject at hand. Loud and enthusiastic doesn't matter (two of my best friends are ENFPs- I know loud and enthusiastic. ) as long as the topic is interesting and you have a hint of weight to your statements. And patience. Patience is good.

 

[polarmonk]

I seem to have a dead pan face no matter who i'm talking to or what I'm talking about. I find it really hard appearing enthusiastic even if I feel excited about something..It's very irritating because it does confuse people into thinking that I dislike them.. this is the problem you're having isn't it chocolate?

If I find common ground with someone I can find it easier to talk, but if I don't I'll probably find the situation too tiring to continue regularly. If there is an awkward silence that means that i'm not sure how to carry on the conversation, or unsure as to what subjects to bring up. It is nothing to do with whether I dislike someone or not. (this might be different for other introverts though, I can't speak for them )

I feel easier to loosen up if the other person seems very comfortable, or enthusiastic in continuing the conversation.

 

[XIII]

I seem to have a dead pan face no matter who i'm talking to or what I'm talking about. I find it really hard appearing enthusiastic even if I feel excited about something..It's very irritating because it does confuse people into thinking that I dislike them.. this is the problem you're having isn't it chocolate?

If I find common ground with someone I can find it easier to talk, but if I don't I'll probably find the situation too tiring to continue regularly. If there is an awkward silence that means that i'm not sure how to carry on the conversation, or unsure as to what subjects to bring up. It is nothing to do with whether I dislike someone or not. (this might be different for other introverts though, I can't speak for them )

I feel easier to loosen up if the other person seems very comfortable, or enthusiastic in continuing the conversation.

There are specific exercises designed to increase expresiveness. If interested, research Jack Willis's Reichian Therapy.

 

[Ermine]

I've also found that faking it actually does work. Lately I've been using overly animated expressions much like these to aid my sarcasm and silliness. I suggest making faces at yourself in the mirror. Over time, it gets easier and easier to make overly animated expressions, and in turn, normal facial expressions are more apparent.

A crooked mouth is now a smile.

 

[DynamicMind]

I've also found that faking it actually does work. Lately I've been using overly animated expressions much like these to aid my sarcasm and silliness. I suggest making faces at yourself in the mirror. Over time, it gets easier and easier to make overly animated expressions, and in turn, normal facial expressions are more apparent.

A crooked mouth is now a smile.

I actually started practicing being more expressive a couple of years ago. It really does work. It takes a lot of concentration for me though. If I'm tired or not in the mood and I talk to people who usually see me being over expressive they think I'm depressed or something and get worried...I can't very well explain to them that I fake expressions 99% of the time though, can I?

 

[echoplex]

If I don't fake expressions, people think I'm angry for some reason (probably 'cause I'm not purposelessly smiling). I can only imagine what I look like when I'm really angry. hmmm, maybe surprised...ooh ooh, or scared! I have no idea. Just spin the wheel of other people's perceptions and we'll find out! (please don't land on nerdy...)