Provision.

[Bird]

How do you provide for yourself?



I'm really serious. Please take the
time to tell me how you became
independent.

 

[Bird]

And I do not need common sense answers
like "lol, get a job." No fucking kidding, I'm
not an idiot. I'm looking more for how you
got through it emotionally/mentally.

 

[gnome]

I sell bottled water and compressed air.

 

[warryer]

While going to school I lived in a house on my own off of student loans. So it was like practice mode. Some of the things I learned:

-Things will deteriorate unless they are kept up with. Personal health and general upkeep of the room/house/property. Exercising is very important. There is nothing like a long run to boost the self-esteem.

-If you are living by yourself have some social activities because you will start to get lonely. Or have a roommate or the very least a pet. The value of human contact becomes apparent.

-Boredom will set in. The same old crap you used to do to stay busy will work but, I recommend finding new activities to try. I find that volunteering is actually very satisfying.

Emotionally it was difficult for me to move to a new place. You might find that you don't feel right/comfortable in your new place. Especially in a new city completely on your own. The first week or two there is going to be a settling down time. A time to get into a new schedule and to get comfortable with your new surroundings.

Are you going to school or going to work?

 

[gnome]

While going to school I lived in a house on my own off of student loans. So it was like practice mode. Some of the things I learned:

-Things will deteriorate unless they are kept up with. Personal health and general upkeep of the room/house/property. Exercising is very important. There is nothing like a long run to boost the self-esteem.

-If you are living by yourself have some social activities because you will start to get lonely. Or have a roommate or the very least a pet. The value of human contact becomes apparent.

-Boredom will set in. The same old crap you used to do to stay busy will work but, I recommend finding new activities to try. I find that volunteering is actually very satisfying.

Emotionally it was difficult for me to move to a new place. You might find that you don't feel right/comfortable in your new place. Especially in a new city completely on your own. The first week or two there is going to be a settling down time. A time to get into a new schedule and to get comfortable with your new surroundings.

Are you going to school or going to work?

Pay no attention to Bird she isn't INTP. She's an intruder. She's INFP. She's just here to study us like she's at some sort of zoo.

 

[Puffy]

I feel like I should respond with something meaningful. Hmm.

I think I've found we often have a tendency to not help ourselves very much. Like, when left to my own devices what often happens is I completely shut down. I have an amazing ability to sleep for 16 hours in a day. However, unfortunately, very few revalatory dreams. I wind up becoming nocturnal, eating about once a day. I get upset that I'm lonely or that I'm underweight and of course respond by continuing to only be awake when people are asleep and only eat a burger a day from the guy who stays up all night in his stall. Though he is surprisingly good company.

The hardest thing is caring enough to look after yourself I think. I don't actually find it hard to be independant, as I like being independant, it's a matter of how determined you are to keep up with what makes one healthy. That or you can hope chance sorts it all out for you. It happens on occasion, but I wouldn't buy it just yet.

 

[Solitaire U.]

I lived a hedonistic life of debauchery until my wanton indulgences forced an ultimatum upon me at age 22: Share the world with my gestating son or kill him and keep it all for myself. I chose the former, and thus my life began...

 

[Bird]

Oh, I guess now is a good time to mention
I lived by myself for two years. However
making that transition from my parent's home
to my own home was not difficult.



I need to know how you do it when you have
absolutely nothing. How do you convince yourself
that it will be okay?


No student loans.
No mommy and daddy.
No grandparents.
No friends.
Nothing.


And I am not an INFP.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I've learned that you shouldn't be afraid/avoidant of asking other people for assistance. I grew up emotionally and mentally independent so when it came time to step out on my own I didn't know what to do because I was used to relying on intellect to get me by.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I need to know how you do it when you have
absolutely nothing. How do you convince yourself
that it will be okay?

Even if you have no relatives to go to, there are still places where you can get support, emotionally and mentally and maybe physically. I mean we are here for emotional support I guess and you can also turn to support forums or something similar. Try not to look so far into the future, and focus on the here and now.

 

[preilemus]

Pay no attention to Bird she isn't INTP. She's an intruder. She's INFP. She's just here to study us like she's at some sort of zoo.

I cannot describe in words how much I hate you for saying that. Instead, please accept this visual proxy:

 

[Bird]

Even if you have no relatives to go to, there are still places where you can get support, emotionally and mentally and maybe physically. I mean we are here for emotional support I guess and you can also turn to support forums or something similar. Try not to look so far into the future, and focus on the here and now.

You know what happens to people who
focus on the here and now? They choke
to death on their vomit.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

You know what happens to people who
focus on the here and now? They choke
to death on their vomit.

They also get things done.

 

[Melllvar]

I'll give some variation on my usual response to these kinds of threads:

Life is all about managing input and output. You can either try and find ways of get whatever you need to satisfy yourself, or cut down your needs to where you can get by with almost nothing. The obvious reference is money: if you don't have a lot of material wants then you don't need a high paying job and fancy degrees to take care of yourself. On the other hand, independence is about a lot more than money. If you desire lots of social relationships you'll have to work to get and maintain those, and it'll cost you in one way or another. In general every want, need or desire that's external to a person will require more work, effort, trouble and expense on their part.

I think I harp on this a lot because it was kind of an epiphany for me. I used to always worry about whether or not I was going to go broke, or end up homeless, or able to pay the bills, or end up miserable, or in jail, etc. Then I realized that if I just learned to cut out all the extraneous things we're taught to expect as a part of life I could focus on the few things that really mattered to me. For the most part this means cutting out needless expenses and social relationships. So far it's been working pretty well (i.e. I'm a lot happier and there's a lot less stress in my life now). It's almost hard to believe how wasteful I used to be (with both time and resources), doing things that really gave zero return on the investment. This is still a gradual thing though - I'm not nearly as independent as I'd like to be. Hopefully I'll eventually find a way to cut my expenses closer to zero, or else find some self-sustaining system of producing what little I need to get by. One idea I'd had would be to move to a place with a severely lower cost of living, so that what little I do have would go a lot farther. Another would be to start some kind of business that would give (at least temporarily) a decent income, while hopefully not draining my soul in the process. But until I think of something better I'm stuck where I am, which is annoying because what I'm doing now really can't sustain itself more than a few more years (and for better or worse, I probably won't die that soon), plus even as it sets me free in a way it also limits the different directions I could choose to take my life in.

</ramble>

Pay no attention to Bird she isn't INTP. She's an intruder. She's INFP. She's just here to study us like she's at some sort of zoo.

There's plenty of self-identifying non-INTPs here. I think this forum is more a congregation of people who like INTPforum (brought together by the stupid type descriptions) more than it is a congregation of INTPs.

You know what happens to people who
focus on the here and now? They choke
to death on their vomit.

I like your outlook on life. Unfortunately it does seem to me that more impulsive people usually end up with a lot fewer regrets. Of course, I'm only in my mid-20s, so it's possible this turns around later in life. I certainly hope so.

 

[Puffy]

Spontaneity is refreshing imo.

And I don't think there are a great deal of INTPs on this forum..

From nothing? I can only comment on the times I have travelled abroad. To strip down to third world standard of living is.. difficult, and I personally found quite distressing, as I didn't really like the people I was travelling with and became quite isolated. In hindsight it wasn't that bad but I think in difficult situations even hope can be a positive factor. Also positive reminders like a book you like, you treasure things more, and sure there is a social side to things, but I find that just as difficult 'from nothing' as I would when I'm comfortable anyway.

In a transition from nothing, it will be a steep learning curve, it is just important that you are determined to keep going. So you have to find the things which give you strength and make it worth while.

 

[Stoic Beverage]

I'm not independent yet, so I don't know. But I assume it'll be a fairly easy, if not pleasant, transition.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

I didn't ask for help from anyone but I sure asked many questions and diligently read every contracted I signed.

 

[Solitaire U.]

No student loans.
No mommy and daddy.
No grandparents.
No friends.
Nothing.

Nothing is nothing is nothing...if you want a realistic answer you've got to give us at least somewhat of a realistic scenario. I mean, if you're even close to having nothing, you are, literally, a lifetime away from a student loan.

Here...let's try something else...

You obviously have internet access...let's build on that. No details, just roughly explain how you're patched in.

Also...vehicle?

And I am not an INFP.

Irrelevant. Re-apply the fluff as you see fit after you're up and running. Back to square one...You're a Human Being...

 

[Cognisant]

The first time you're on your own in a place, even if it's just because your parent/s or whatever have gone somewhere for a few days, there's this awful silence, you feel totally and utterly alone.

Then if you're like me you switch into adult mode, start smiling broadly, realise that (if only for a few days) this big empty box is now your keep/castle/domain, spend the first night obsessively cleaning, then every night thereafter living the loner's dream: dimmed lights, chamber music, mixed spirits, uninterrupted reading, and gourmet meals cooked by following the instructions on ehow.

It's really weird how your perspective changes, when you're living with your parents you tend to rely on them to nag you into doing stuff, but when you're on your own living well and being proactive becomes a matter of pride... then again everyone reacts to freedom differently.