Please help cure me of my addiction

[NoID10ts]

Its Friday and I'm going out

Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Actually, better make that, don't do anything I would do!

 

[loveofreason]

OK, some thoughts about this addiction topic.

It's been pointed out that this addiction is serving a function. It is supplying something our 'ordinary' lives aren't.

Addiction is a feral response to the permission to pursue a need previously withheld/denied. It is an involuntary action, as one would expect where a need is involved.

You need oxygen? You breathe. "Lungs are an expectation of air" I may have paraphrased, but that's from Jean Liedloff, The Continuum Concept.

At various points in our lives and for various reasons, we are unable to meet basic psychological/physiological needs. These empty places - neuronal receptors that never received their fill of stimulus, don't simply stop 'expecting' what they biologically need. Successively filling these needs is required for proper development. The organism will always seek to fill the empty spaces. It is a biological directive.

So, we can safely say that we are getting some previously unmet neuronal satisfaction from our addiction to this forum. It is not a bad thing. It is merely the organism correcting a developmental starvation the only way it 'knows' how. At some point the needed amount of stimulus will have been achieved. The empty will become full; satiation will be achieved and we can move on from that developmental stage.

And what, precisely, is the developmental need our selves have discovered here to gorge upon?

I would venture Affirmation.

 

[Dissident]

I think the problem is that getting it here may cause that we stop looking for it in our daily lives, the fact that we are not getting it outside doesnt mean its imposible, but that wont happen if we stop trying. Im not so sure that once the needed stimulus is achieved the need disapears, I think that the fundamental psichological needs have to be fulfilled not once but cyclically.

 

[NoID10ts]

I must say I do find a sense of affirmation here that I don't find in my day to day life. It's helpful to know that there are other people who understand the way I think (to a degree ). I've never really interacted with a forum before, but I was intrigued by the similarity of thought, experience, emotion (or lack thereof), frailties, etc. Interacting here is like being able to put my inner world down on paper and actually have it react. I like that.

But I don't think I am addicted. It doesn't really interfere with my life. I spend huge amounts of my time at work at my computer and I can multi-task. I work and then will interject a post while a program is running, etc.

I think I am interfering with your lives more than you are interfering with mine.

 

[loveofreason]

I think the problem is that getting it here may cause that we stop looking for it in our daily lives, the fact that we are not getting it outside doesnt mean its imposible, but that wont happen if we stop trying. Im not so sure that once the needed stimulus is achieved the need disapears, I think that the fundamental psichological needs have to be fulfilled not once but cyclically.

I would agree that needs require cyclical attention, whether it be breathing every few seconds or something more complex. But to have a deficit of a given psychological stimulus leaves us in the vulnerable position of being compelled to obtain it when we do find a source. I imagine most of us have looked long and hard in our real lives for that missing 'something'?

Once the deficit is corrected the behaviour self-corrects, presuming we can keep the ongoing needs met in something resembling their intrinsic cycle.

 

[eudemonia]

At various points in our lives and for various reasons, we are unable to meet basic psychological/physiological needs. These empty places - neuronal receptors that never received their fill of stimulus, don't simply stop 'expecting' what they biologically need. Successively filling these needs is required for proper development. The organism will always seek to fill the empty spaces. It is a biological directive.

So, we can safely say that we are getting some previously unmet neuronal satisfaction from our addiction to this forum. It is not a bad thing. It is merely the organism correcting a developmental starvation the only way it 'knows' how. At some point the needed amount of stimulus will have been achieved. The empty will become full; satiation will be achieved and we can move on from that developmental stage.

And what, precisely, is the developmental need our selves have discovered here to gorge upon?

I would venture Affirmation.

Brilliant - that's it exactly. But my unmet need isn't for affirmation. It's for freedom of expression. It's more like NoI said

Interacting here is like being able to put my inner world down on paper and actually have it react. I like that.

Like it? I love it . Why can't we get this in RL? Despite having close friends and a loving husband I suppose I have realised that by joining this forum I have expressed parts of myself that have been lain dormant for decades - not repressed but dormant through lack of use. It's like being back at university again before talk turns trivial and centres on work and kids' schools and house prices. I'm not sure I'll ever find the freedom of expression that I find so addictive outside of this forum - but I will try!

 

[fullerene]

haha, told ya they'd do it...

 

[EloquentBohemian]

Interacting here is like being able to put my inner world down on paper and actually have it react. I like that.

Exactly.

I think I am interfering with your lives....

I would rather use the word 'enriching'.

I imagine most of us have looked long and hard in our real lives for that missing 'something'?

A constant quest with many disappointments, until now.

 

[Da Blob]

Now you've got me scared. I just took my first does of this forum yesterday. I'm obsessing about how to change my User name... What if this becomes a habit?
However, on first impression this has been a bit of a homecoming for me; a re-union of strangers. Unlike many of you I have not had daily opportunities to be involved in intelligent dialogue (of, course I'm giving the Grinch the benefit of a doubt on that score).
I really have not felt this challenged since I left the University of Chicago, decades ago.
Addiction is a dangerous state of mind, but as long as you are still eating every so often, sleeping in bed instead of at the computer or fantasizing about the Arena, you are on the safe side of the use versus abuse boundary...

 

[Chronomar]

Man, my garden has been frozen solid for weeks...

Yeah, I know the feeling. Here in Wisconsin (worst...place...ever...) we are deeep in snow. My friend and I checked the weather in a Russian city in the arctic circle this morning, and found that it was WARMER than our temperatures. We still had to go to school though . grrr.

And, on the note of being addicted, I am currently typing at 2:55 am, yes that is am, when I still have about four hours of AP class grunt work to get thorugh.

I probably wouldn't be working anyway, even without the forum.

 

[Linsejko]

I read about 3/4 the posts and then skipped the rest...

...I basically was at the point, several months ago, where I was keeping up with almost every single active thread. I was spending several hours a day here. That's when I knew I had to stop. I basically went cold turkey.

It is addicting, to the nay-sayers; it was, for me, an obsessive thing to read and answer it all. This forum has a lot of good to it, and can be of some benefit, but honestly I don't like the effect it has on me in large doses. My life philosophy is quite different from that which is celebrated here, and I find that this forum tends to darken my outlook on life--I have enough trouble fighting my own sources of depression. I don't need to have the idea that I am a misunderstood, outcast, superhuman segment of society quietly reinforced.

But really, (while I've only spoken of it's negative I hold that there is much good here), the biggest issue is that typing on this forum is not living life. It's a safe, artificial substitute for real life interaction. It's very comfortable for INTPs, in that way. But I have more important things to devote my time to.

Eudamonia... the issues, I think, are self-control and time management, things I do very poorly by nature and explicitly have been working a great deal on for the past several months. The lack of these has really put me far behind where I could be in life, and I'm devoted to getting them down... but until I do, I just have to cold-turkey some things and be over-legalistic, just to make myself function at all in an organized fashion. I don't know if it's an issue for you also, but something like 2 hours a day sounds like it might be wise if you can hold to that. I'd go for 2 hours online time at all, really, and actually have been thinking of enforcing that on myself recently also, but... to each their own. You know what's best, if you're being honest with yourself.

Good luck to all of us!

K

 

[loveofreason]

Aha. Thought provoking and insightful as always.

How are we, and the benefit we derive from your participation, any less real than the people you cross paths with in off-line life?

You could waltz through a crowd of hundreds and leave no more trace in their lives than the breeze across their skin. One could fall through the arms of a succession of lovers while leaving them essentially untrammeled and unknown. Yet you can put your most profound thoughts into words and direct them like arrows into the deepest levels of comprehension of dozens of others, simply by posting here.

I guess I hold meeting in a communion of minds the highest possible level of connection, and being on-line here makes that more, not less, possible. For me at least.

And yes. I am addicted.

I'm a peak-experience hunter. Aren't we all?

 

[Jesin]

Before I found this place, I used to spend a lot of time on http://news.ycombinator.com/. Back then, at least, an article or a comment would occasionally come up about some Firefox extension or something that would track how much time you spent on a website and then would not allow you to use certain sites after you reached a limit. Maybe that could help.

 

[Da Blob]

Aha. Thought provoking and insightful as always.

How are we, and the benefit we derive from your participation, any less real than the people you cross paths with in off-line life?

You could waltz through a crowd of hundreds and leave no more trace in their lives than the breeze across their skin. One could fall through the arms of a succession of lovers while leaving them essentially untrammeled and unknown. Yet you can put your most profound thoughts into words and direct them like arrows into the deepest levels of comprehension of dozens of others, simply by posting here.

I guess I hold meeting in a communion of minds the highest possible level of connection, and being on-line here makes that more, not less, possible. For me at least.

And yes. I am addicted.

I'm a peak-experience hunter. Aren't we all?

I find this forum to be 'more' real rather than 'less' real
that is because I am being more 'real'
instead of a defensively- minded individual
in a 'real' social setting where I never show my 'real' face...

 

[Ogion]

True thoughts, lor and Da Blob. That's why i like this place as well.

Ogion

 

[Linsejko]

Perhaps this justifies a separate thread?

It isn't less real; artificial does not imply unreal, but instead contrived, and thus (in this case) lacking elements of "real world interaction". Arguing that it's "real" distracts the argument; hearts are still mended and broken online, to be sure, and wisdom is shared and gained, doubtless. But the internet serves as a portal which distorts and distances the communication. It's too 'safe'; there's something important about looking into someone's eyes and hearing their voice, and the risk and vulnerability that kind of interaction entails.

This level of safety allows for some interesting dynamics, to be sure, and certainly allows many otherwise guarded INTPs to be unusually expressive and "vulnerable" in one dimension (if you will)... but there's something being missed.

Friendships experienced in flesh and blood and far more fulfilling in their richness than friendships experienced through a digital filter--in spite of, (if not because of), the possible opposite and equal injury by that same experience. No... these friendships are real, but they deprive us all of the richness of human experience. Contrary to popular belief, it really isn't all in the mind.

This is peak experience, but one dimensional. Like enjoying the 'risk' of loss in a board game, perhaps. It simply isn't as epic as real life, and the feeling of 'risk' cannot compare to the real world equivalent.

L.

 

[Ogion]

True thoughts as well, Linsejko. Yea, i know, seems kinda conflicting. These are simply different media of communication, which own characteristics to each. Advantages as well as disadvantages.

But it certainly is a better thing to have this form of communication (online/computer-based) in addition to 'reallife' "body to body" communication, so to speak.

Ogion

 

[Fordy]

I'd say it's about finding a balance between offline and online communication. Yes, a forum like this may only be a 'safe, artificial substitute', but as you said, we as INTPs enjoy this; we think of things that offline friends may not be able to understand , or think of things that might just make others think we're crazy if we talked to them about it. Here, we can open up to people who will understand and discuss, and even if they don't, there is no risk, so it's a no-lose situation really.

In real life, the risk is greater and ever present, but the rewards are much more fulfilling indeed. I get far more enjoyment in the company of friends - or perhaps even friendly strangers - than anywhere online. Life is full of experiences to be had, that overall will help us lead richer lives, and help us deal more effectively with common situations thanks to the experience gained, and also just to enjoy life.

By living lives we gain experiences, which we can then share online if we wish; and thus the experience in some ways can be passed on to others. And in return, you get to learn of their experiences too; obviously not going to have as much of an impact on your life untill you live it yourself, but it pays to be prepared/cautioned for life experiences yet to come.



... I only read the first page of this topic and it seems to of taken quite a turn since then. :P
Ahh well.
*Raises an eyebrow at Eudamonia (referencing to the first page even though it may well be hideously out of date by now)*

 

[loveofreason]

The on-line/off-line discussion has been copied and moved to a new thread.

http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=1671

 

[AndOhh]

I'm fairly new to this site but it's 2:02 AM for me right now and I'm crawling around this site. In fact, if it were not for this site I would probably be sleeping.

I cannot say I will frequent this forum consistently or for any extended period of time -- I will have time's have "kicks" as I call them. Where I immerse myself in something for a while then BAM... I won't for a long time or never again...