Pick something personal about

[BigApplePi]

yourself that relates somehow, someway to what the previous person said. It doesn't have to have continuity or even relevance. Just pick out something. No other rule at all. It doesn't have to be like the attempted personal below:

Personal: I chose this thread because I like to plant seeds. Often I like to pursue things to the bitter end which others sometime tell me resembles an oppressive obsession. Other times if I get no response, I will drop the topic, neglecting it for too a long while until someone else suggests it again.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I've seen the deaths(and even births) of several communities because of a similar disposition. I like to think of it as 'carrying the torch'.

 

[Moocow]

I tend to think this is what we already do here.

 

[BigApplePi]

I tend to think this is what we already do here.

True, but here was my inspiration. I have a certain fondness for AI. He reminds me of me. And look how I avoided saying that.

Perhaps I'd have done better by saying "hidden and personal" rather than just "personal."

 

[Awaken]

I've seen the deaths(and even births) of several communities because of a similar disposition. I like to think of it as 'carrying the torch'.

Ive seen many people die throughout my life, and it never really bothered me.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I've been thinking about my dead grandma a lot lately. And wondering if I'll ever be able to feel grief again in the way I did when I was little and people/animals/things died. I feel desensitized to death. I loved my grandma, why can't I feel bad about her death? Maybe it was her age, and the way she already prepared for her death years before. I just hope that's why I don't feel as sad as I should.

I also seem unable to realize one of my best internet-friends now has a RIP page on facebook. It's weird. His consciousness is just... gone. It sucks. I can't accept/realize it, that people are just... gone when they die. They won't feel any pain anymore, but they will also never experience happiness, or the miracle of having a consciousness again...

(Is this somewhat what you had in mind for this thread, BigApplePi? As in, sharing personal things that you were reminded of by the post before you?)

 

[Bird]

When it comes to dealing with death, I disassociate myself
from the entire occurrence.

 

[BigApplePi]

(Is this somewhat what you had in mind for this thread, BigApplePi? As in, sharing personal things that you were reminded of by the post before you?)

I don't know what I had in mind. A new kind of contact/ connection perhaps.

When someone I know dies, I don't think of what they experience or lack to experience. I think of their lingering self and how I can't contact them any more and tell them what's going on. This happened to me when the World Trade Center collapsed. A buddy of mine was a building superintendent and very aware of things. (S not N?) He would have been very interested in the World Trade Center take down yet he never experienced it. He died in 2000. He would have wanted to see it. Now why isn't he here?

 

[Puffy]

A childhood friend of mine died a few months back. I don't know if disassociation is the right word but I don't think it's like I've realised he is dead. I didn't have much contact with him usually so it's not like there is any hole in my social circle etc. I was unable to make the funeral as well which probably contributes.

Strange we talk about the personal and everyone talks about death lol. I only did because BAP said we have to talk about something related to the above :P

Oh, I know, when I start a thread I often do to gauge others reactions and answers rather than to contribute myself. Deep down I don't believe I have anything meaningful to contribute. Or I at least struggle to.

 

[Peeps999]

I normally think I have little to contribute so I've been dwelling here basically making all pointless posts for a month now. I need to start actually saying something important for once. I need to stop reading others thoughts and start voicing my own.

 

[BigApplePi]

Deep down I don't believe I have anything meaningful to contribute. Or I at least struggle to.

My reaction is different. I totally disagree (intuitively). When a poster says something, they act as a catalyst or connection which keeps the interaction going. I feel the opposite. I feel everything I say has some meaning and therefore is valuable at least in theory. But what's wrong is I don't make the connection or arouse a connection. So I feel badly. Expression (style?) could be 95 percent of the thing, especially to non-INTPs.

 

[Meer]

I wanted to talk about death, but now that the last post wasn't on that topic, I don't think I have much to say.

I often worry that I only ever talk about myself on forums. It makes some anxiety happen in me, usually.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I know how you feel. I also feel like I use the words 'I' and 'me' too much, and it's probably true. Pretty depressing. But don't worry, Meer! I've never thought you came over as egoistic. Usually you seem quite friendly, actually!

 

[nanook]

so i have just been self-censoring the fifth post today. approximately. on different message boards. i am not that shy. not over critical either. it's just that my mind sucks. it comes up with those thought-chains, that want to be expressed, because they feel so self-important, but they don't have a real purpose and in the end they don't even make sense, or worse, turn out to be full of projections or similar psychological trash. fuck me.

 

[nanook]

it's odd how often people question the purpose of live, and how rarely they question the purpose of the mind. i assume, that's because you can't just kill the mind.

 

[Lobstrich]

It angers me how so many of my piers (not only my piers to be honest, a lot of people in general) Just go by without wanting to just know 'stuff' Why are they not interested in history? History is what made us what we are today. Why are they not interested in politics? Politics is what controls our lives in western society, and there's almost no way around it. Why I people just not philosophical? I don't mean that in a pretentious way, because all "being philosophical" means is to think. Why don't people think? I really don't understand why they are not interested life, that sounds a little cheesy, but I really don't.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Hm, I wonder about that very often as well. I can't understand how people don't care about politics, I mean, to give an exaggerated example, a new Hitler could be on the rise without you knowing... I also have the feeling that in the '60s and '70s it was sort of 'cool' to be into politics, these days it's only ridiculed to know some stuff about politics and what's going on in the world. Everybody seems to be more occupied with being narcissistic on twitter and drinking until they puke and generally do stuff they'll regret anyways. Oh well, at least alcohol provides some sort of intellectual 'survival of the fittest'...

Also: Piers? You hang out with piers?

 

[Lobstrich]

Hm, I wonder about that very often as well. I can't understand how people don't care about politics, I mean, to give an exaggerated example, a new Hitler could be on the rise without you knowing... I also have the feeling that in the '60s and '70s it was sort of 'cool' to be into politics, these days it's only ridiculed to know some stuff about politics and what's going on in the world. Everybody seems to be more occupied with being narcissistic on twitter and drinking until they puke and generally do stuff they'll regret anyways. Oh well, at least alcohol provides some sort of intellectual 'survival of the fittest'...

Exactly..

Also: Piers? You hang out with piers?

Totally, all the time!

 

[Awaken]

I have a general idea of history, but have no need to explore the subject further. Humans have the same basic characteristics as they did in the Middle Ages. I could care less about the dates of wars, or the exact reason they happened. It is all pretty much the same general principles, so my brain has generalized history and has instead found it more pertinent to study my own mind and the mind of others around me. I have found it more fruitful.

I took AP US History in High School. It was one of the most boring classes I have ever taken. Not only did we have to watch that awful movie "Gone with the Wind", but we had to read this extremely boring book that detailed a family of birds for a chapter or two. On the otherhand, I took a Humanities class in High School that was probably one of my favorite classes.

On a side note, I once had a Neuro Attending pimp me on the Treaty of Ghent. "The what what now?". For some reason, I have found most Neurologists love the subject of history.

 

[Lobstrich]

I have a general idea of history, but have no need to explore the subject further. Humans have the same basic characteristics as they did in the Middle Ages. I could care less about the dates of wars, or the exact reason they happened. It is all pretty much the same general principles, so my brain has generalized history and has instead found it more pertinent to study my own mind and the mind of others around me. I have found it more fruitful.

I wasn't saying that I needed to know exact dates of wars, I don't anyway. I do however have an above-average knowledge of history, I'd say. I just like discussing history and ask "what-if?" in regards of the different conflicts.

I took AP US History in High School. It was one of the most boring classes I have ever taken. Not only did we have to watch that awful movie "Gone with the Wind", but we had to read this extremely boring book that detailed a family of birds for a chapter or two. On the otherhand, I took a Humanities class in High School that was probably one of my favorite classes.

That's all taste, some like history classes, some don't. I'm not saying that I like the movie nor the book, never read or seen either. Just pointing out that history isn't boring as if a fact.

 

[BigApplePi]

Not being in school, I'm not required to take history courses. My attitude toward history is, would what they did work for the present? Or what would have to be modified today to do what they did because of our modern tools?

As to dates, I didn't like it when my teacher wanted us to memorize the dates for British sovereigns. Then I thought it meaningless and I never heard of those guys anyway. Today my attitude is the dates serve to separate. The year 1300 makes a difference over the year 1800. If some guy did something, the dates help me know what he could do so I can judge whether he did it right or not.

Since I hated history in high school (teachers matter as inspiration) and refused to learn or paid no attention, I feel gaps in my knowledge today. I think it would be interesting to know how Napoleon did his thing. He had some superior tools as well as his personality. What the heck. I haven't thought about this too much.

A more general thing would be, what makes something worthy of recording in history? Why not everyday life? This would help me know today what is important and what is not ... or would it? Maybe history lies by leaving out what really went on. Or maybe I'm just speaking out of ignorance. The less I know, the less I know what really went on. History could apply to the last few days after all.

 

[Trebuchet]

I was fortunate to have three amazing history teachers, in 5th, 8th, and 11th grades. Two of them were actual historians, one published on the subject of the US Civil War and known for a collection of Brady photographs, and the other a published art historian who was allowed to photograph in the Louvre. The third was passionate and excited about the subject. Those were some of my best classes.

 

[Agent Intellect]

A thread inspired by me? I should be flattered.

Off topic personal info: I have a hard time sharing personal information with people I've known for most of my life. I'm not very emotional or affectionate with anyone - my sister just got married yesterday, and it was a noteworthy occasion to everyone on both sides of my family that I gave her a half assed hug after the ceremony. If there was a set that represented me, what people know about my thoughts and 'feelings' would probably look like the surface of thoughts and 'feelings' I keep to myself. In a group of introverts, I would be known as the introverted one - at least as far as "opening up" goes. I'll talk about science/philosophy/ideas all day long.

On topic personal info: I have great interest in history, but I find that my interest in other subjects trumps it. Most of what I know about history comes from learning about the history of science, philosophy (I love Greek philosophy, Kantian philosophy, and existentialism), and religion (the history of Abrahamic religions, in particular) - not so much with politics, economics, and current events (eg how history led up to current events). As much as I'd love to learn about these things, I can't fit it into my schedule for the most part.

To change the topic slightly: I have to admit an American bias - I really don't know much about world history, even though I'm at least relatively well versed in American history. It makes me view myself as inadequate that I'm very ignorant about history, and even current events, in a lot of non-American parts of the world. Is this simply my own apathy, or is this a result of American education?

 

[Cavallier]

1. I feel protective of AI in a "he's special even if you don't see it so leave him the fuck alone" sort of way. I don't know why.

2. I kept up on international events for 1 and 1/2 years. Then I stopped for 9 months. I realized something: when I'm keeping up with the news I feel the world is going to fall apart at any moment. When I don't I'm generally happier.

 

[Lobstrich]

Is this simply my own apathy, or is this a result of American education?

I'm guessing the latter since your case is a not a unique one, and since you said that you feel inadequate to know a lot of history.. That's not really apathetic if you ask me.

 

[BigApplePi]

I'm guessing the latter since your case is a not a unique one, and since you said that you feel inadequate to know a lot of history.. That's not really apathetic if you ask me.

@Lobstrich. I'm guessing one can be apathetic and neglect just about anything. Does a cause have to be ascribed?

@AI. Forgive me if this is long-winded. I started to take up an interest in the nightly half hour news. Not because of deep intellectual interest, but to relax from all the hard stuff I'm doing all day. Then I did something real stupid (I mean really stupid). I went to the doctor complaining of weakness and a chest pain. He guessed at a heart problem sent me to take a stress test which was a total failure. I had made a list of five possible things to tell him but left the most important thing out. Now how could I do that? I was dieting after putting on ten pounds after breaking my foot. Having recovered I am in the process of taking off the ten pounds as I'm a runner. I had watched the world news about people starving in Somalia. So I completely blocked out my own hunger (as a cause of weakness too) as what could compare to really starving people? The stress test was a failure because the technician panicked when I took the maximum heart rate way over the listed maximum. I usually run that way on my fast day if I feel good. I wasn't even stressed and he quit the test, dammit. No heart problem detected.

@Cavallier. Protective or over-protective? I get enraged at what could be over-protection due to my experience with my mother. It's horrible for me. Like being locked up in prison. This could get me into trouble if I challenge other people by attempting to lift up what I imagine is their protective covers. Perhaps I've not gotten over this, so I can't tell if I'm doing the right thing. Perhaps I should ask people first if they will accept a challenge?

 

[Lobstrich]

@Lobstrich. I'm guessing one can be apathetic and neglect just about anything. Does a cause have to be ascribed?

I don't think it's possible to feel apathetic (to feel nothing) about/for something while realising and caring about feeling inadequate or whatever else about something.

 

[Wolf18]

Lobstrich: Do you mean "peers"? "Piers" is where a boat docks. That makes no sense.

SW

 

[BigApplePi]

Lobstrich: Do you mean "peers"? "Piers" is where a boat docks. That makes no sense.

SW

I remember he said, "piers." Something was odd about it but it never registered in my head there was a misspelling. I must have pronounced it internally.

I'm discombobulated about the MBTI-Pod'Lair controversy. To me both are descriptions of something to be analyzed or categorized and then translated one to the other. That people take it so personally throws me and I forget that must be Fe (external feeling). I wrote a message this morning about that topic but feared to post it. I saved it in WordPad. Now what?

 

[Architect]

I've always had a secret love for piers and buoys. I like exploring the mysterious little ocean communities that can grow up around these. Something about an offshore buoy is very appealing.

 

[MissQuote]

There is a certain pier that is very close to my heart.

I haven't posted in a while, I logged in to post because the subject was on death but then the topic changed by the time I got to the bottom.

Hi everyone.

 

[kora]

I haven't posted in a while either, strangely enough I feel insecure with what I post on this site, many of the forum members intimidate me with posts that seem to display very high intelligence and I worry that I will confirm to myself that I am not, which is my number one fear.

However, I've recently decided to always post exactly what I think from now on with confidence so as to get as much as I can out of this place. It's stupid to be insecure on an anonymous internet forum. It's also stupid to develop an obsession over one's level of intelligence.

See you all soon.

 

[BigApplePi]

I've always liked what you've said higs. I find that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to say exactly what I want to the right way or without a self-conscious feeling ... at least most of the time.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

I feel self-conscious at all the worst times and, conversely, don't feel that way at the worst times for that.

Any time I have an opinion that I think is worthy of being spoken, I freeze up and don't say it because I get stuck in a rut of over-analysis in which I worry about how people will respond to it and what they'll think and how that may or may not affect me and I'll recede into a downward spiral of anxiety and insecurity.

Yet other times, I don't have this feeling at all and I just start saying whatever pops into my head without thinking and I'll say a lot of things that (I think) are some of the stupidest things I could possibly say.

The two states seem to perpetuate each other as I become perplexed by my insecurity and resolve to start saying what I think but then lapse back into silence as I realize I'm capable of saying some really stupid shit.

 

[Arc.Demi]

I think we'r all like that in here

i do say some really stupid things sometimes ( not just in this forum )but on the other hand i can be very surprised by something i said that is somewhat beyond the level of intelligence that make me post it naturally or without thinking allot .. others would reply to it and id feel a bit proud and puffy

i say you shouldn't be stingy you can share whatever you think in here
and hey , whose gonna judge you we'r fellow intps !!
whatever you say we ( or at least i ) have said worse

just be yourself and never hesitate

 

[kora]

I've always liked what you've said higs. I find that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to say exactly what I want to the right way or without a self-conscious feeling ... at least most of the time.

Thank you, your posts are cool as well.

 

[spinner]

Im never surprised by anything I say, although sometimes it horrifies or embarasses me.

 

[Cavallier]

I've had to sensor myself recently. Specifically around the women I work with. I don't take it personally because that's how work generally goes. However, I was surprised to discover that I needed to sensor myself. I'm always surprised by that. It not my natural operating position. I think I generally assume that most people are more accepting than they actually are. Why would I be surprised that I have to sensor myself but not take it personally?