Think I might know what you're talking about, and was going to make a thread about it but can post here instead. I've talked about it with some other people but they just said I was thinking about it too hard or was delusional.
Basically it seems like people get mad if you don't talk to them... Then they start talking about you for some reason, from what I can gather it's because you're apparently acting like you're better than everyone else. Occurs especially if it seems like you'll get along with the other parties involved in the first place, or if you mainly stay close to two or three people you know and shy away from any new people. Then they get mad.
Similarly, they can set you up for some conversation or provide hints that initiating a convo would be a decent idea, but while a lot of the times these requests are recognized I sometimes 'fail' for whatever reason to comply, or to act. I can see why people will think someone is appearing to be better than everyone else when all that happens, but that is not the reason for not communicating more or being more outwardly friendly but the quickest conclusion is probably that that person is an asshole and doesn't wish to make friends or something.
Some people like banter though, and it could probably lead to the next step in that particular case of human interaction, if any emphasis is to be placed on it rather than communicating for the sake of common courtesy. One reason for just chillin' instead of "participating" is probably some weird belief or memory perhaps created due to past experience with social interaction... Basically, it's kind of weird seeing kids/tweens being much more socially adept than I am, but again...
I think after a certain point, especially after you've known a group for a few years, it might be expected of you to act your age or take on more responsibilities or something. People just might expect you to say hi to them first or something for a change, although we'd all probably get along great if those people actually said something to me first, kinda, instead of offering hints that they'd like me to say something. In cases similar to this I'd like to experiment to see how much of what I interpret manages to be accurate assumptions..
Another thing is people always expecting stuff you say to be funny. At most gatherings I noticed people just trying to be as funny as possible, on purpose, with most of the stuff they say, which ties into people being attracted to "people persons" and always trying to make others laugh; subconsciously take their mind off the negative energies that apparently permeate the experience of life (possibly due to the government/capitalism; etc, as well as conflicting egos). It's kinda weird/annoying... I think there's this one ENTP dude in the group, he's the one I can usually chat with expect sometimes after a story when I do let out a simple remark such as 'wtf..' he'll say something like, "so bad" and it sounds like he's referring to the stuff I say might not be funny or entertaining enough. This is only in groups/teams though, one on one is different.
And so that's another thing, "teams". Anyone ever get ganged up on by teams? They usually do that cause they're scared to "debate" one on one so they get in a group and "subtly" talk some shit. I suppose it does take some skill to work in a team setting, but it's still possible to combat them. It happens somewhat frequently to me, probably because I look like I'm apparently acting better than everyone else, but it seems to be related to people offering hints that it's ok to initiate convo, maybe introduce yourself and when you don't do that they get insulted and the banter begins. Maybe one shouldn't get so offended actually. They apparently are unaware of dominant Ti suppressing inferior Fe which MIGHT be an explanation.
And so, is anyone familiar with people talking with you indirectly? Like, they're clearly referring to you but aren't officially engaged in conversation? It's more like blurting stuff out, then the other person blurts something out and you're both referring to each other and talking to each other but in a weird way, instead of standing face to face and talking. I only do it because I've noticed it happening, so figured I'd adapt so to speak. I also only usually do it when someone initiates first. Most of the time it's someone talking shit for some random reason, so I must reply and get things straightened out. Once I was on the lightrail and there was a group of five Asian dudes. At first I was standing near them, then decided to move since I was by the door which kept opening and people getting on/off, so I moved down a bit. I started to lean my head against the glass and closed my eyes, but I wasn't sleeping I just closed them, then I heard someone say, "I'm bored so I'm going to sleep" so I thought 'wtf??' because it sounded like he was referring to me for some reason, so I just simply said, "Noo...." and his immediate response was, "He could do it." I thought it was interesting and from that point there was this weird bond between us, as I was constantly focused on them and what they were saying, and maybe vice versa. I turned around and actually saw one of my friends (ENFJ), but he exited the train as soon as I saw him, I planned on getting his attention somehow but ended up just texting him, and tried to make it obvious that I knew him so I could look cool to these Asian dudes by running into a familiar face. So that ended up happening. Another thing the same dude said was, "I could tell", but I wasn't exactly sure what he was able to tell there, although I had some ideas. The whole time it seemed like they wanted me to say something, or participate in their game but I wasn't sure how. I was actually with my brother at the time and when we got off, they got off too and were walking behind us... My brother tried saying something to me but there were a few things goin on at the moment so I was kinda jumbled up and couldn't really reply properly, and I heard the group of Asian dudes behind us laugh, so to that I just said 'inferior extraverted feeling, big deal' and that was the last I heard of them... I remember turning around to get one final glance and the main dude made some gesture that suggest he was indeed aware of the whole thing, although I could have just been being paranoid.
Girls seem to like this method of communication, although with statistics which I have not studied yet this statement could not be true. There are of course reasons as to why females in this society, or in general, find this method useful, however, I must know if anyone else is familiar with this phenomena. Again, I first noticed it a few years ago but wasn't sure what to do with it until I managed to reach that point. People must have been doin' it for years.
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