People talking about you

[A22]

I just can't stand it. I mean if people start talking about me or what I'm doing or going to do I just get up and leave the room. It's kinda like this; you're with your friends or family and someone says "Oh guys did you know that A22 is seeing that girl?". I mean, wtf if I wanted to talk about it I would do it myself. I don't know if this has anything to do with any of the letters of the MBTI types, I just wanted to see if someone else feels the same lol.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Yeah, I feel the same. If you think your male friends are bad in this respect, you female ones are probably far worse. I remember back in one of the high schools I attended, a whole class of people were gossiping about me in the library. I walked in to the vicinity and talking about myself as well. I think it is a form of horizontal social control. If someone is not adhering to the standard of the group they address this perceived problem in the most cowardly of manners. General gossip relays such information.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Same here.

I don't like my actions or my sentiments to be collected into a pool of resources from which people are allowed to make assumptions about what kind of person I am and how I should be approached.

What I do should be implied, you shouldn't have to speak on it.

 

[GYX_Kid]

i used to catch when people were talking about me quietly in the corner, then i'd make eye contact long-range and they'd shy away. usually for some reason the people can't help but shift their eyes to the subject (/object) they're talking about. it's (natural) self consciousness. if you imagine yourself doing things that require handling it, i recommend building up an endurance.

E, F and J types are more prone to enjoying gossip (?)

 

[Bird]

I always think people are talking about me.
Whether they are or not. It makes me very
tense.

 

[A22]

Hehe I though that only one maybe two would have that thing too.

I always think people are talking about me.
Whether they are or not. It makes me very
tense.

I have that paranoia too. Specially when I leave a room and the people I was talking too stay there talking. I always feel that it is about me.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Yeah, sounds very familiar...
It kind of makes me sad, really. I never seem to get the chance to show my real self to others. They already assume I'm some sort of weirdo. I'm still figuring out why this is, I just don't get it. I've got normal needs and emotions... Fairly normal interests... I'm just not that good in being a strong social person I guess. (While that's not even a 100% true, I can have fun conversations, I'm just bad at filling in those gaps when nobody has to tell anything, that's when I start to get a little weird probably. Maybe that's when I start trying to get attention or provoking controversy or whatever just so the boredom subsides. Wow, I actually do know what makes people think I'm weird now I think! Thank you for making me think about this.)

It's very annoying indeed. I even don't like it when people are talking about me in a positive sense because that just makes me uncomfortable as it generates way too high expectations from others of me, or I'll feel like that anyways. I work best without any pressure at all.

 

[Lobstrich]

I don't like my actions or my sentiments to be collected into a pool of resources from which people are allowed to make assumptions about what kind of person I am and how I should be approached.

Spot on. It really gets to me when people have these ideas of whom I am.

But to be honest, I'm not one of those "never assume" kind of people. I'm alright with assuming. I do it all the time myself. But when those assumptions become prejudice. That's when it's bad. You should always be prepared to trash those assumptions.

 

[Fallenman]

I don't take well to people who criticize you in the corner, giggling and laughing, I'd prefer to be told to my face and will even get angry about not being told to my face, but I'm ok with people talking about me.

I prefer for people to understand me, so if asking about me or discussing why I did this or did that (so long as they recognize my intention, or at the very least so long as their misrepresentation is innocent. [I'm ok with people misunderstanding me, it happens all the time, but I would prefer that if a person makes a mistake about me that it doesn't transpire in some negative way, or it changes their behavior towards me in a way I don't want. Basically so long as the misunderstanding is almost wholly inconsequential for me, I'm indifferent.] helps in understanding me, then i'm ok with this.

For this reason, even gossip is ok with me, so long as its not something I'm personally embarrassed about.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Spot on. It really gets to me when people have these ideas of whom I am.

But to be honest, I'm not one of those "never assume" kind of people. I'm alright with assuming. I do it all the time myself. But when those assumptions become prejudice. That's when it's bad. You should always be prepared to trash those assumptions.

I meant when people take those inductive assumptions and toss around your persona as gossip, especially as if you're not even in the room. -__-

 

[dark]

Hum... interesting, this thought has never occurred to me. Do you think people would actually talk about someone like me? I really don't think I am interesting enough to actually have any single persons or groups attention. People tend to shy away from asking me questions about myself after the first couple times. I guess they must have to speculate the answers themselves, but actually talk about me? No I don't think they would.

I have found it more true that people talk about themselves more than anything, "Oh did you know I go this or that?" or "Yeah man I am banging this chick from around over there." or "I wish I was prettier No one ever gives me attention."

I think people are more self absorbed and self centered and so much so that they wouldn't even care about anyone else unless it pertains to something they are comparing how great they think they are to someone else.

Essentially I dislike people in general, they don't interest me, I don't notice them, and I don't care if they notice me. I make friends by being who I am and not worrying what the other people are doing so I am quite happy. If they ARE talking about me, I would like to know what is so interesting to talk about, because I sure don't even have anything interesting about myself that seems interesting enough to tell. Repetitive words that are repetitive, lets repeat them.

 

[Solitaire U.]

It could just be a sign that you're well-liked enough to be considered worth talking about...

But yeah, very INTP-ish to negatively misinterpret it and become all resentful.

 

[socialexpat]

Essentially I dislike people in general, they don't interest me, I don't notice them, and I don't care if they notice me. I make friends by being who I am and not worrying what the other people are doing so I am quite happy. If they ARE talking about me, I would like to know what is so interesting to talk about, because I sure don't even have anything interesting about myself that seems interesting enough to tell. Repetitive words that are repetitive, lets repeat them.

I didn't get it... Can you repeat that bit where repetitive words are repetitive, or will you repeat the whole post?
Good thinking though.

 

[gruesomebrat]

Bird gets tense???? Strange, she always seems so incredibly calm and... I don't know, almost serene in her posts... perhaps that's just because of the poetic style of posting.

I have that paranoia too. Specially when I leave a room and the people I was talking too stay there talking. I always feel that it is about me.

Drat! Yet another aspect of my personality that's no longer unique to me. It seems like every time I come to the forum, I find yet another behaviour of mine that I thought was a defining characteristic is shared among a fair number of forum members.

When the paranoia reaches high enough levels that you start isolating yourself more than usual just to see how much people seem to notice, it's time to re-evaluate. I realized soon after the self-imposed isolation that not only is isolation likely destroying any relationships that might have otherwise prospered, I can't check to see if people are talking about me if I'm not present to see them...

 

[Stoic Beverage]

I've never had any problem with this.
I'm against gossip in spirit, but I've never really had anyone gossip about me.
"He's weird..." and it never really goes beyond that.

 

[Abraxas]

I always think people are talking about me.
Whether they are or not. It makes me very
tense.

Hehe I though that only one maybe two would have that thing too.



I have that paranoia too. Specially when I leave a room and the people I was talking too stay there talking. I always feel that it is about me.

I always wondered if this kind of psychotic way of relating to others had something to do with being an introvert.

 

[A22]

Drat! Yet another aspect of my personality that's no longer unique to me. It seems like every time I come to the forum, I find yet another behaviour of mine that I thought was a defining characteristic is shared among a fair number of forum members.

Yeah I've found out in this forum that I'm not the only one that do/thinks some things too.

When the paranoia reaches high enough levels that you start isolating yourself more than usual just to see how much people seem to notice, it's time to re-evaluate. I realized soon after the self-imposed isolation that not only is isolation likely destroying any relationships that might have otherwise prospered, I can't check to see if people are talking about me if I'm not present to see them...

One maybe two years ago I was paranoid enough to isolate myself like this - and a simple thing such as hearing my name in a conversation between my friends on the other side of the room was enought.

. Do you think people would actually talk about someone like me? I really don't think I am interesting enough to actually have any single persons or groups attention.

I never though about that. Maybe I have a narcissist paranoia lol

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Yeah being talked about when you're there is awkward, like "how am I meant to react to this :S"

I worried whether people were talking about me when I wasn't there, but then I was like "I wonder what they say about me, hmm..." and the worry quickly just became curiousity. I could care less what people think or say about me, so long as I'm not put in any awkward situations due to it. Which is most social situations really.

Sooo yeah.

 

[Bird]

It could just be a sign that you're well-liked enough to be considered worth talking about...

But yeah, very INTP-ish to negatively misinterpret it and become all resentful.

I'm not an INTP.

 

[jzono1]

I make people talk, both because of my actions, and my looks. I'm not afraid of standing out from the crowd, and thus I do. My actions in the past has given me a reputation, which often precedes me.

Learning to live with it is... a nice skill to have.

At the end of the day; it doesn't matter what others think. You are who you are, and they may judge you for it - but you have the power to not let their judgement affect you.

I like it when they have the balls to present their judgement to me in person. But really, I don't give a damn what others think about me. I've learnt that caring about that stops me from being who I want to be.