Yeah, ive been thinking lately and realized that the real basis of my despair and despression is you know that existential depression: when u realize that your life is finite and you certainly won't quit it hzving had enough of it, that your reality will never equal your imagination; and that plans will remain plans(unless you escape them in arts: film making, music, creative writing ).... i guess am growing up realizing those cruel facts.
Have you guys heard about the quarter life crisis? transition between university and work environnement... the shock with the crude reality, the practical issues of life.
Have you been through it?
I would be extremely cautious about pursuing 'greatness'
This is actually THE problem... so what should one youngster architect of his life do? Currently i'm busy striving to maintain a balance between my creativity/ imagination/daydreaming/ creative depression/planning you know INTP stuff... and the boring reality's duties and fastidious practicalities necessary to make a living. I find it difficult and draining maintaining that balance but at the same time i feel i just cannot let my "creativity(thus potential to greatness)" perish... It wouldnt be me anymore.
I also have no real social contacts beside school environnement( i just can't connect and relate with them S types), for sexual needs i go in bars and pick up randomly good girls. A longterm girlfreind would be draining.
I have little contact with family, i left my childhood "friends" and have actually no real friends(friend= one you can deeply connect with and plan big things together !) in my current city.... I did all these sacrifices in order to find myself and for the sake of greatness. I'm 24 and i'm content I finally found myself... but what about greatness? what is greatness?
Should i just content myself with low level achievements?
Why do you feel one needs to choose between "greatness" and happiness? There have been basically happy geniuses before...I'm not calling you a genius, however.
I'm not a genius, genius is a concept defined by the society... concept of the past. I find that our current society doenst make enough place for genius. We need a revolution.
And i guess you guys are right, i expressed myself in the wrong way( i'm french
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). I'll conclude that happiness and greatness are not necessarily mutually exclusive if they are moderate... but again moderation is boring.
I think i have 2 main problems: finiteness of life/time constraint and dealing with practical details.
Is there perhaps no way to hold "many lives " in one life? what would be the trick? the matrix?
thx everybody for ur insight