Okay, so who do INTPs get along with?

[Words]

Directive Je is what gets into my nerves. Obviously, all types are capable. But the question is who specializes in it? Though Auxiliary Te and Inferior Te's have been testing my patience lately...

I don't understand this anger...

 

[Moocow]

I've yet to find anyone other than the INTPs of this forum, an ENTJ friend, and my ISFJ girlfriend that will willingly discuss more "out-there" views and options in life without getting irrationally angry or quitting in the middle of the conversation. Even my INTJ brother is a pain in the ass because he always thinks I'm being literal and absolute. If I'm talking about a philosophical perspective, he'll immediately assume I've adopted it with the intent to act upon it.

My problem isn't even about difficulty getting along with people. I can get along with people just fine and make friends, I just can't force myself to care about most of what they deem important so it feels like a waste of time. If I must pretend to show enthusiasm, I quickly get tired and end up being even more of a recluse.

The only intellectual stimulation I get is this forum and my college classes, and the occasion that I can convince myself to read a book.

edit: Fuck it I'm gonna go read a book.

 

[BigApplePi]

If that's yer attitude I'm gonna take away yer book.:smiley_emoticons_mrNow what you gonna do?

 

[Moocow]

If that's yer attitude I'm gonna take away yer book.:smiley_emoticons_mrNow what you gonna do?

What I usually do- walk to the lake and enjoy the tranquility away from people entirely.

You know, I've been told that you can only find the greatest happiness by connecting to others, but I've never found anything more satisfying than the peacefulness of being totally alone.

 

[BigApplePi]

What I usually do- walk to the lake and enjoy the tranquility away from people entirely.

You know, I've been told that you can only find the greatest happiness by connecting to others, but I've never found anything more satisfying than the peacefulness of being totally alone.

What do you do when you need to eat, need a place to sleep, need a warm coat, need to know if your idea is a good one, have no good ideas at all, feel bad?

 

[Moocow]

What do you do when you need to eat, need a place to sleep, need a warm coat, need to know if your idea is a good one, have no good ideas at all, feel bad?

I'm not so dysfunctional that I can't go to the store when I need to. I have friends and family that I talk to about ideas every day, but not constantly.
No ideas at all is common and usually correlates with feeling bad... in which case I take a nap or listen to music or go for a walk.

 

[BigApplePi]

I'm not so dysfunctional that I can't go to the store when I need to. I have friends and family that I talk to about ideas every day, but not constantly.
No ideas at all is common and usually correlates with feeling bad... in which case I take a nap or listen to music or go for a walk.

Very good. My situation is I have plenty of ideas in my head, whether my own or originating from others. The trouble is, where do I place my self-esteem? By doing something useful for myself or for others?

 

[nihilen.]

Very high N. The rest being well balanced with both T and F being quite developed.

I dislike people that can fit perfectly into a certain type and all SJs and ESs,

 

[Ska]

I have an ISTJ father, an ENFP half-sister, and an ENFJ half-sister who I get along with really well. I just found out that two of my four friends I hang out with, and the kid I'm rooming with next year (one of those two) are INTPs as well. I get along with both of them pretty well, and we can get in some pretty heated arguments (which we both enjoy). We also hang out with an ENTJ who is hilarious and awesome to argue with, but can sometimes be over-bearing and get on my nerves. I also am also now positive that my friend I've known since 2nd grade is an INTJ, and I always felt we really understood each other. I do think he can get bored of me sometimes, though.

As for as dislike, well I don't get along with my brother (ISTP), sister (ESFP), or mother (ESTJ) well at all. I also tend to get very, very annoyed with my INFJ friend. He always thinks he is right and that we are just not listening to his opinion (of course he's wrong when 3 INTPs are disagreeing with him). This makes me want to unleash my wrath upon his soul. Other than when this is happening, we tend do get along fine, and much better in one on one situations.

 

[Escrue]

As an INFJ, I think they get along pretty well with us. I read something online about the 'grand miscommunication theory' - the INTP has someone whom they can share their ideas, imagination, and thought processes, while the INFJ feels like the INTP is opening up to them.

INTP: Huzzah! An intelligent person with whom I can tell my observations! And she actually understands what I'm trying to say!
INFJ: Huzzah! She's opening up to me and telling me her deepest thoughts! I feel so honoured and I want to be close to her too.

Ultimately, they are both correct

 

[ijustprotectedmyidentity]

ahahhaha ^^^1

 

[Wu Flung Dung]

I am INFJ and I truly love INTPs, yes love... well all the ones I have met except maybe one who is highly combative one minute and overly friendly the next and justs seems overly bipolar or something. It really is such a pity I do not meet more INTPs IRL, I guess that is due to the rareness of the type. I have seen INTPs get along with ISFJs too but I guess it can go either way.

 

[Lijde]

Generally, I get along with anyone who's not ridiculously annoying or intolerant. My best friend of 4 years is an ESFJ, which seems very...odd. I'm guessing we just balance each other out. I have no idea what my other best friend's type is though, but I'm going to assume she's an ENTJ.

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

everyone really. i think we'll talk to anyone...maybe we get along with some better than others.

one of my best friends is an INFP and the other is an E/I NTJ.
conversation with the INFP is better most of the time. very patient and always has great input with respect to the listener.
the NTJ has a more "familiar presence" somehow, like we naturally can identify with each other better than most. also isn't much for wasting words in a conversation with no real aim.

 

[FF]

I'm an INFP, and it seems to me that the INTPs around here have been getting along with me...

......RIGHT??

 

[Puffy]

My current best friend and best friend in college were both INFPs so I am inclined to agree [I think I am an INTJ though Adymus seems to think I am an INTP so may as well throw it in there ]

 

[Ermine]

I can get along with anyone. Though internally, some people do really grate on me. They tend to be ESTJ. Other than that, it's just people who are hyper-focused on any given function, or get on my nerves for reasons other than personality.

As for people I tend to befriend, the most common types would be ENFP, INTJ, ISFJ, INTP, and INFP.

 

[snafupants]

If both parties are mature, then INTPs and INFJs will probably get on famously. Also, I have an affinity for the quick thinking, eccentricity, and extraverted nature of ENTPs and ENTJs. NFs are usually nice to hang over for developing healthier feelings and novel perspectives when depressed.

 

[Excellent]

Most of my friends are ENTPs and ENFPs. I tend to get along with ENTPs a little more naturally though. I have one friend that's an INFP, and she and I get along really well too. Other types I'm not sure about, I just know I randomly have LOTS of ENTP and ENFP friends.

 

[Execution Commentary]

I don't get along with anyone.

No real reason - I just possess a general disinclination toward human interaction.

And SJs are at the pinnacle of disgust.

 

[jantling]

I get along with my cat. He sheds, and throws up small rodents on my bed, but nobody's perfect.

My one human friend is an ISTP.

And my mother is an ESFJ. Enough said.



-jantling

 

[Quinault NDN]

I think I have been hanging around those NF's too long. I read "my one human friend" and thought Ohhh *sad face*. Then I realized outside my family, I could count my (real) friends on one hand. :/

 

[knight in battle]

Interesting: I can find any type to be interesting; this depends more on the individual. INXJs intrigue me more often than not, though.

I'm INFJ, and my INTP friend clearly finds me "interesting". We hang out for hours at a time sometimes, although he often prefers to have three or four friends together. We clearly annoy each other in certain ways, but in many ways we really don't understand each other.

He gets along much better with his INTJ friend, because he clearly respects the INTJ's confidence and intelligence. They both have periods when they're no-nonsense and interacting via games.

 

[knight in battle]

I get along with my cat. He sheds, and throws up small rodents on my bed, but nobody's perfect.

My one human friend is an ISTP.

I started befriending an INTP classmate, and he has hinted in class that he enjoys online friends and friends via family members. I wonder if that includes pets.

My INTP friend gets along very well with one of his friends (very verbally playful and accommodating... ISTP? ISFP?) and seems to have a symbiotic connection with him. He contacts him and hangs out with him constantly and seems to bring him along when visiting other friends (for emotional safety?). I wonder if this describes your connection with your ISTP friend.

 

[knight in battle]

I am INFJ and I truly love INTPs, yes love... well all the ones I have met except maybe one who is highly combative one minute and overly friendly the next and justs seems overly bipolar or something. It really is such a pity I do not meet more INTPs IRL, I guess that is due to the rareness of the type. I have seen INTPs get along with ISFJs too but I guess it can go either way.

Nice. I've discovered the same thing. Two of my best friends (one of them is still a new friend) are self-identified as INTP. I can really see the "highly combative" part in my familiar INTP friend. In those moments, a personal boundary may have been violated, or a statement or behavior I've exhibited is considered "annoying". (He usually tells me this when he feels that I'm being unsocial with certain of his friends, when I behave in a giddy or childish manner, or when I talk too much about things that aren't relevant to him... which is almost everything, so it's always most harmonious when we aren't speaking much.)

 

[knight in battle]

As an INFJ, I think they get along pretty well with us. I read something online about the 'grand miscommunication theory' - the INTP has someone whom they can share their ideas, imagination, and thought processes, while the INFJ feels like the INTP is opening up to them.

INTP: Huzzah! An intelligent person with whom I can tell my observations! And she actually understands what I'm trying to say!
INFJ: Huzzah! She's opening up to me and telling me her deepest thoughts! I feel so honoured and I want to be close to her too.

Ultimately, they are both correct

Exactly! This was my experience.

 

[Amy Winehouse]

Enfp's are my favorite people.
If I was researching or doing scientific work with a team I think I would have to work with iNTx.

A lot of xxxJ's look down on me when I lose my wallet or whatever. They don't understand that I really just don't give a fuck, they're jelly of my adaptability and ability to live on even if things didn't go according to plan and I have to reorder a debit card and drivers license.

I really do lose shit ALL the time though so maybe they're right :/

 

[Owfin]

It makes me sad that all of you INTPs dislike SJs so much, because I really love hanging out and discussing with NPs.

 

[HDINTP]

In general i find interesting INTJs which doesn´t have to mean i get along with tem well yes but then it is quite weird. I had one of my best friends and he was ESTJ and one before INTJ but it was more like competing each other. In general type that i get along really well is ENTJ but then i don´t see it much like friendship but more my partner. All people who were probably ENTJ i had something like friendship with was like friendly arguing which i had no problem with. And my father is most likely to be the person i get the best along with and he is ENTJ

 

[Enne]

It makes me sad that all of you INTPs dislike SJs so much, because I really love hanging out and discussing with NPs.

Propose: You are not an SJ?

 

[Owfin]

Propose: You are not an SJ?

No, I think I'm an SJ. I like NPs because they come up with so many awesome ideas for me.

 

[Execution Commentary]

It makes me sad that all of you INTPs dislike SJs so much, because I really love hanging out and discussing with NPs.

We INTPs prefer to talk about abstract matters and design theoretical systems, which is opposed to the SJ method. We also prefer to do whatever it is we do by ourselves and by what works for the individual system. We care little to none what other people think, what moral rules it may offend, or what it does to the morale of certain people groups. These traits are diametrically opposed to the SJs. Everyday small talk bores us to tears; SJs usually thrive on it. We do our work unscheduled and unregulated; SJs operate based off of schedules and rules. Additionally, ESTJs and sometimes ISTJs tend to possess a directive, managerial attitude which can anger an INTP.

Not to say that we dislike all SJs (I know one who is at least tolerable and often enjoyable), but they are generally not our favorite group.

 

[Je Pense]

ESFJ's for sure .......mmm hmmmm, yah.

 

[Architect]

I don't get along with anyone anymore it seems. Too tired of putting up with the continual BS from other people maybe. Mainly a sensor onslaught, I can't seem to find any intuitive friends.

I do have one INTP friend - but he annoys me because he doesn't listen. Oddly I have a XSXP friend I'm great friends with, and he's Mormon. Go figure.

 

[Je Pense]

It makes me sad that all of you INTPs dislike SJs so much, because I really love hanging out and discussing with NPs.

To help the NP/SJ relations a little, I would like to touch on and maybe enlighten on this subject. Its not that we blanket statement dislike you all as a category, its just really taxing on us to be bossed around and snapped at. We HATE people trying to control us, and I think that's where a majority of the dislike stems from. It would help, A LOT, if SJ's could just understand this and stop trying to control us. I have been studying this relationship for awhile, and I have a SJ friend who periodically forgets that I don't tolerate being bossed around, I remind him of this, and then we're good again. I've also wondered if NP's do anything that bothers SJ's to the same extent.
To improve the NP/SJ relationship, I would request the following (these are some things that are hard for us to stomach):

PLEASE don't ask for all the facts on an event that we clearly have given no indication we would know anything about.

PLEASE don't act disappointed when we can't furnish this information for you.

PLEASE save small talk for other personalities. We have no idea how to respond.

PLEASE don't be passive aggressive. Nothing like this goes unnoticed by us and we will be sorely tempted to hold a grudge against you for it.

PLEASE don't talk only about yourself (i.e. a monologue). It makes our ears bleed.

Any requests, SJ's?

 

[Beholder]

I have an SJ with me in the army (I think ESTJ), and although we could never possibly get along, when we're working together we get along great. We just don't talk, except about the task, do small things to help eachother, and generally just seem to work well together. I think it's mainly because were both just dieing to finish and get away from eachother...

 

[Zionoxis]

ESFx's make me want to punch a puppy. Their complete inability to understand logical thought is so very agitating (at least the ones I have met).

 

[Owfin]

PLEASE save small talk for other personalities. We have no idea how to respond.

PLEASE don't talk only about yourself (i.e. a monologue). It makes our ears bleed.

Any requests, SJ's?

I had to learn the second one recently. Suddenly I seem to have a lot more friends. But sometimes I can only speak from my own experience. Everything we say has an invisible "From what I have experienced with this..." on it.

My request is: Explain what you mean by small talk.

 

[Pride]

Heh, my ISTJ friend takes about thirty minutes to explain what could be done in ten.

His diatribes and rants in the physical realm is akin to the INTPs textual obsession with detail and description, except - I don't have the pleasure of refusing to listen to him.

Fortunately, he has an interesting to story to tell most of the time.

Unfortunately, he also loves talking about himself.

 

[Je Pense]

Unfortunately, he also loves talking about himself.

Can I quote myself, then quote you, and then say, "I think I've made my point. It drives us insane."

 

[Abraxas]

Heh, my ISTJ friend takes about thirty minutes to explain what could be done in ten.

I don't know which functions are the ones that make a person feel the need to explain something. I (IRL) almost never explain anything, I just expect them to know it, if they don't they surely can find out...If I'm capable of it, so are they.

P.S. I'm not an INTP

 

[Owfin]

I don't know which functions are the ones that make a person feel the need to explain something. I (IRL) almost never explain anything, I just expect them to know it, if they don't they surely can find out...If I'm capable of it, so are they.

P.S. I'm not an INTP

This would be the kind of thing that would make me bang my head against the wall.

 

[Abraxas]

This would be the kind of thing that would make me bang my head against the wall.

I've always wondered why they do that.

 

[jantling]

I started befriending an INTP classmate, and he has hinted in class that he enjoys online friends and friends via family members. I wonder if that includes pets.

My INTP friend gets along very well with one of his friends (very verbally playful and accommodating... ISTP? ISFP?) and seems to have a symbiotic connection with him. He contacts him and hangs out with him constantly and seems to bring him along when visiting other friends (for emotional safety?). I wonder if this describes your connection with your ISTP friend.

Yeah, it does. Whenever we go anywhere, anywhere, she always instigates things and talks for me. It doesn't matter what she says since I agree, mind reading. And I never leave my house, except when she makes me.

 

[Owfin]

Everyday small talk bores us to tears; SJs usually thrive on it.

But what is this "small talk"? People keep mentioning it without really defining what it is.

 

[Enne]

But what is this "small talk"? People keep mentioning it without really defining what it is.

Small talk is that nothing talk that people engage in when they want to interact but have nothing real to communicate. This group / 1:1 meandering is why it is also so unpopular w/ XNTJs as well. A lot of people seem to need it before they launch into what they actually want to discuss in the first place, or worse, wanted only to talk about these topics.

Tends to be trivial, cultural things that never change and have no real relevance or importance. Always concrete in nature: the weather, last weekend, my dog, her baby, that shirt, etc. The coup de grace tends to be the fact that with any particular person, it will always be all about revisiting the same topic. (<-Esp true in a workplace or classroom setting). Kind of like when you're playing an RPG and you accidentally bump into one of the NPCs.

 

[Owfin]

Small talk is that nothing talk that people engage in when they want to interact but have nothing real to communicate. This group / 1:1 meandering is why it is also so unpopular w/ XNTJs as well. A lot of people seem to need it before they launch into what they actually want to discuss in the first place, or worse, wanted only to talk about these topics.

Tends to be trivial, cultural things that never change and have no real relevance or importance. Always concrete in nature: the weather, last weekend, my dog, her baby, that shirt, etc. The coup de grace tends to be the fact that with any particular person, it will always be all about revisiting the same topic. (<-Esp true in a workplace or classroom setting). Kind of like when you're playing an RPG and you accidentally bump into one of the NPCs.

I just don't group discussion topics as "legitimate" or "superficial". Sure, I might be uninterested in some of them (e.g., "OMG LIKE DID YOU SEE THEM TOGETHER? THEY ARE LIKE SO CUTE!" *giggles*), but to somebody else they could be interesting.

So what if it isn't "important"? You can still score an interesting tidbit of fact or another point of view. And it can be nice to revist topics once in a while and elaborate on it and polish it. "Trivialities" are fun, and who's to say what's trivial. Couldn't somebody make the claim that some of your "meaningful" topics are trivial because you don't need them to accomplish some concrete goal? I'm not saying they are, but it could be said.

 

[Je Pense]

Small talk is that nothing talk that people engage in when they want to interact but have nothing real to communicate. This group / 1:1 meandering is why it is also so unpopular w/ XNTJs as well. A lot of people seem to need it before they launch into what they actually want to discuss in the first place, or worse, wanted only to talk about these topics.

Tends to be trivial, cultural things that never change and have no real relevance or importance. Always concrete in nature: the weather, last weekend, my dog, her baby, that shirt, etc. The coup de grace tends to be the fact that with any particular person, it will always be all about revisiting the same topic. (<-Esp true in a workplace or classroom setting). Kind of like when you're playing an RPG and you accidentally bump into one of the NPCs.

This explains what we dislike perfectly.

I think part of why we dislike small talk is that it gets in the way of serious, meaningful conversations where we can uncover the truth, when a person becomes transparent and there is not disguising anything with "trivialities," no places to hide or be fake. Apart from the fact that small talk is by definition devoid of intriguing/stimulating, intellectually complex content.

 

[Beholder]

I have this ESFJ colleague, and I'm pretty attracted to her, I find her very entertaining (when she's talking to other people) she also finds me really entertaining (also, only when I'm talking to other people), but we can't carry on a conversation to save our lives, I have nothing to say about anything she talks about and she has no idea what I'm talking about when I talk. And it's not that I get nervous around her or anything, we just don't meet on any level.
It's interesting how two people can be such complete opposites...

 

[CBadfeather]

i think ENTP's supercharge us, INFJ's teach us,INFP's are cool, some ISTP's are good at teaching alot of pratical/real world stuff