Mary
ad nauseam
I posted a bit of the formspring drama I had a while back on the "Are you creepy/weird?" thread, and I wanted to ask if any of you have had similar experiences. I have very polarizing experiences with people; some people love me and my weirdness, while others are extremely annoyed and demand that I change in order to gain their approval.
So, the question:
How many of you have had people who try to change you so you are more "socially acceptable" or for some other similar reason?
Here's the conversation that went on:
Them: why do you type so weird? like bees? like wtf..
Me: Oh that's only with my friends. I'm not sure why you would care if I type oddly, but okie-doke! To each their own.
Also, if you're going to critique my writing, you might want to check your grammar first. "Why do you type weirdly" is the correct way to arrange your sentence.
Them: u act like such a know it all. it is really annoying. you talk down to people so much. u act like u r smarter than everyone. it's obnoxious. so stop correcting people on everything! (also stop acting like u dont care about anything)
Me: I care about lots of things. Unfortunately, I don't care about Formspring trolls. Go find another victim.
You were complaining about something I wrote, so I complained about how you wrote. I'm not smarter than anyone at all. Everyone one is good at something. I swear. I might be able to see a solution faster than some people, but they can do amazing things I can't possibly ever accomplish. Like gym. If I talk down to you, I'm sorry. Just tell me something like "Can I put a word in?" and I'll let you speak.
I guess you've never worked with me. I'm actually very iffy on most of my ideas. If you're convinced I'm wrong, I'll listen to your arguments and either destroy them or agree with you.
Them: i think you think im stupid and i really dont care but at least dont make it so obvious it can hurt a lot of people
Me: I don't think you're stupid. Nobody is stupid. Talk to me in real life if you feel hurt and I'll try to work it out. I get irritated with people but I don't think ANYONE is stupid.
Them: i agree with the person who said that u try to correct people too often like when someone says something u should let them say it the way they want to cause no one cares about the grammatically correct way of saying it let them "enjoy their oddness"
Me: The only reason I was correcting their grammar is 'cause they were talking about my grammar. I seriously DON'T CARE whether or not you use your instead of you're; I might get irritated, and if it's on a graded assignment I'd point it out so no points are taken off, but otherwise its not a bother.
Some people do care about grammar. Ever met an English teacher?
Please give me an example of a time I've "hurt your feelings" by not letting you "enjoy your oddness" and I'll explain to you my rational behind it.
Them: you honestly can't even think of one time u were annoying and mean to someone. Way to think of yourself highly. you think u r the smartest person in the world, or at least u act that way. i am not trying to b a bitch. try being more modest, k?
Me: I'm just asking you to point out a time I was specifically mean to YOU. There are plenty of times I've been a horrible person to plenty of people and I'm not going to deny /that/. Try being less judgmental, k?
-I then made a facebook status talking about how amused I was by all the drama going on-
Them: your status is so bitchy. people are just trying to tell you things that they think would help make you an even better person and you call them silly completely disregarding the entire point of formspring. stop being so rude!
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
This is.. amazing. I'm almost convinced now that this is a joke. A "point" of formspring? The point of formspring is to make money.
GASP!
MONEY?
Who would have ever thought that the company who make this website wanted to make money?
I was *convinced* the site was a playground for trolls.
Insulting people anonymously: not rude.
Posting vague statuses on facebook: extremely rude OMG!!!!
Them: you should probably be nicer to people who try to be nice to you. people really dont like it when others point out their flaws, especially publically. i think ur nice but whenever i talk to u u always find something ive done wrong its obnoxious
[I found this one extremely amusing due to the fact that they were yelling at me for "pointing out their flaws" while they were yelling at me on formspring... about "typing so weird"]
Me: Okay. Who are you? I don't remember doing this to anyone. I'll just say this: if you ask me to be honest, I will be completely, brutally honest. I won't lie to make you feel better.
Them: see, even when someone is trying to HELP u, u act as if u do NOTHING wrong which is complete bull. u don't need to put someone down to be "honest" that's makes that person feel crappy. stop acting like u know everything.
Me: Stop acting like YOU know everything. Ooooh, you're helping me? By trying to make me feel like I'm a rude, stuck up brat? Thank-you very, very much for educating me.
Them: please i can barely talk to u because i know that i will be proven wrong by you, which gets very aggrivating. also u get so serious when people are joking around, and u start yelling @ ppl. please ease up
Me: Then don't push stupid theories. Don't say dumb things then expect me to cheerily say OH YES YOU'RE POSITIVELY RIGHT! If you're so bothered by me that you feel the need to troll my formspring just don't talk to me anymore, okay?
I can joke around. Trust me. I just don't think certain things are amusing. I'm not immature.
Them: if there are so many hate comments then TAKE A HINT! ur replies are nasty. "dumb theories"+"dumb things"? seriously at least try to deal with peoples stupidity because i am ur "friend" and u obviously can't deal with mine.sorry i am too stupid for u bitch
Me: You. Aren't. Stupid.
How many times do I have to tell you this? If you can't get it though your skull that you AREN'T stupid then /that's/ why I have a problem with you. I'm basically 99% sure that all these "hate comments" are from one person. You. I have no idea why you have a problem with me. If you could give me a more specific situation or tell me your name we could find a solution. Because you refuse to address the problem, it is YOUR FAULT. I've tried to work this through with you, but you seem dead set on a conflict. I'm sorry, but I don't care enough to actually "seek you out". If you're my friend, please just tak this through with me. You don't have to be anonymous about it. I won't hate you. Promise.
Them: why are u so mean! i met u this year and every time i talk to u u always find something wrong with what i say or you ignore me and listen to ur headset. i didnt do anything wrong and u feel the need to be a jerk, be nicer!
[This one made me start laughing hysterically. I knew by now who was writing these; she has known me since 3rd grade and has always fostered an intense dislike for me.]
Me: I listen to my headset because I am extremely INTROVERTED. That should explain why you may feel I'm 'distant' sometimes. I just don't like interacting with people in large groups.
I'm not going to do anything you command me to do. "e nicer"? I'm not going to skip though a field of flowers with you and be fake and idiotic for your personal satisfaction. If you want to talk to me, draw me away from the group we're in and I'll be glad to discuss whatever you want.
Them: i think that maybe it would be good for you to listen to some of this advice instead of blowing it off, these people have a point. i am trying to be nice about it but you are kind of rude to people and i think if you worked on that people would like u
Me: I don't care what you think. I don't care whether random people like me or not. Try talking to me in real life and I'll take you a bit more seriously. Like I said before, I won't get angry at you.
Them: only a bit? wow you really are mean. also you telling me that you dont care what i think, thats rude.
Me: You're being rude. OMG UR SO MAEN TO MEEE... U DUN CARE BOUT WHAT AH SAY UR SO MEAN.
Grow up. If you can't say it to me in person I DON'T CARE, okie-doke?
Them: u needd to stop and realize who you are. cause the mary i knew a year ago is way different than the one i see now.
Me: I'm the same. Maybe you've changed, but I haven't. Actually, I change how I act occasionally, but I never go back to the same one. It gets boring after a while, staying the same person. It's fun to mix it up occasionally.
I realize who I am. I understand my outward behaviors completely.
Them: you used to be so nice! what happened?
Me: Nothing, actually. I haven't bothered to change my outward actions yet since last year. It must just be you. ^-^
Them: i dont understand why you are laughing at these people who truly feel these things about you. i know i do, so why would you be so mean to them?
Me: 'Cause they, or should I say, YOU are cowardly and not exactly a nice person yourself.
Tell me in person if you want me to listen to your ideas AT ALL.
Them: you used to be a really good friend of mine but reading your responses to these people's comments makes me really angry and you seem like you are being such a bitch! now i dont feel like we could be friends again
Me: If you actually are one of my friends, you would have heard me talking about why I retaliated to you in this way.
Fine. If you don't want to be my friends based on some stupid social networking site and can't actually confront me in person, I feel no need to be your friend.
Them: mary i used to like you. that shy girl was nice. and now u have gotten comfortably around all our friends. and because of that, you have turned into a bitch. u may not know it. if u only want Z** and m** as your friends fine.
Me: Just say this to my face. 'Kay?
I PROMISE I won't flip out at you.
Sometimes I'll make sarcastic comments that are rude and rather mean, but they're never meant to hurt anyone~!
JEEEZZZ I have other friends besides Millster and Zeenie. Okie-doke? My whole life does not revolve around school.
Why shouldn't I be comfortable around my friends? Should I just go around with my feelings all pent up and spew them on formspring?
NO.
Talk to me. Please. I'm concerned for you. I won't hate you. In fact, it'll prolly just make us better friends.
Them: oh please, i really dont need you as a friend. i am concerned for you. see i was trying to be nice, but now that you have ticked me off and insulted me a bit, i am bringing my bitch on.
Me: If you don't want/need to be my friend, why are you talking to me and trying to "improve" me?
I was in such a good mood, too..
I'm a sarcastic, caustic introvert who doesn't enjoy the company of most people.
Feel free to troll up my formspring.
Them: i think its really funny and so stupid for people like you not to see that all these comments are coming from the people u hang with. u always say something like if u were my friend u wouldnt say this. actually the truth is we would. ITS CALLED TWO-FACED
[I literally laughed for about five minutes straight at this. I can't believe she honestly thought she was one of my best friends.. After I'd spent a few months in 3rd grade trying to understand why she hated me, I had just tried to ignore her as much as possible]
Me: I mean, if you were one of my real friends, you wouldn't say this. There are some fake, two-faced people I hang out with, and I don't really like talking to them 'cos I know what they are. Hanging out =/= friends.
Them: so then i shouldnt consider u my friend because i am just one of your "hanging out" friends? mary u can do whatever you want with your life. but at least have some respect and dont become a bitch because i know you arent
Me: Look, I have no idea who you are. (Well, I do have an idea, but I don't wanna say anything 'cos you'd get uber offended)
There is a difference between FRIENDS (people you tell all your secrets, the ones you trust, the ones you would do almost anything for) and friends who you have inside jokes with and chat with occasionally. I'm 99.99% sure you aren't my super-duper close friend.
I'm not going to be a shy, docile wallflower just to make you happy. I'm not an outgoing and aggressive person, this is true. But I'm not a passive, do-what-you-want type of person either.
Them: u and m****** barely know eachother. she doesnt know what u are like inside of school so she needs to stop mocking us. she also doesnt know any of your friends. she needs to be quiet. you two make a lovely couple.
[On this post, she forgot to make herself anonymous. I was right about who it was, the silly fool.]
Me:
I was pretty sure this was you, A**. I'm sorry you feel this way. You are, however, one of those people I've never been able to completely trust.
You're right that M****** doesn't know what I'm like in school, but you don't have to go psycho over it.
Also, I wish you had told me this in person rather than as a mistake.
Then she tried to claim she was hacked, then she admitted she wasn't, then she acted retarded for a few weeks before everything went back to normal. In the end, she did end up dragging a few other people into it, but I knew most of them were just peer pressured into it (she's very, very domineering) and we made up. Ironically enough, the school ended up having an "anti cyber bullying" seminar shortly after she revealed herself, in which the instructor person told stories about people who committed suicide after similar incidents on formspring, and their "tormentors" were sent to jail. I had a good chuckle after seeing the look on her face after that one.
So, the question:
How many of you have had people who try to change you so you are more "socially acceptable" or for some other similar reason?
Here's the conversation that went on:
Them: why do you type so weird? like bees? like wtf..
Me: Oh that's only with my friends. I'm not sure why you would care if I type oddly, but okie-doke! To each their own.
Also, if you're going to critique my writing, you might want to check your grammar first. "Why do you type weirdly" is the correct way to arrange your sentence.
Them: u act like such a know it all. it is really annoying. you talk down to people so much. u act like u r smarter than everyone. it's obnoxious. so stop correcting people on everything! (also stop acting like u dont care about anything)
Me: I care about lots of things. Unfortunately, I don't care about Formspring trolls. Go find another victim.
You were complaining about something I wrote, so I complained about how you wrote. I'm not smarter than anyone at all. Everyone one is good at something. I swear. I might be able to see a solution faster than some people, but they can do amazing things I can't possibly ever accomplish. Like gym. If I talk down to you, I'm sorry. Just tell me something like "Can I put a word in?" and I'll let you speak.
I guess you've never worked with me. I'm actually very iffy on most of my ideas. If you're convinced I'm wrong, I'll listen to your arguments and either destroy them or agree with you.
Them: i think you think im stupid and i really dont care but at least dont make it so obvious it can hurt a lot of people
Me: I don't think you're stupid. Nobody is stupid. Talk to me in real life if you feel hurt and I'll try to work it out. I get irritated with people but I don't think ANYONE is stupid.
Them: i agree with the person who said that u try to correct people too often like when someone says something u should let them say it the way they want to cause no one cares about the grammatically correct way of saying it let them "enjoy their oddness"
Me: The only reason I was correcting their grammar is 'cause they were talking about my grammar. I seriously DON'T CARE whether or not you use your instead of you're; I might get irritated, and if it's on a graded assignment I'd point it out so no points are taken off, but otherwise its not a bother.
Some people do care about grammar. Ever met an English teacher?
Please give me an example of a time I've "hurt your feelings" by not letting you "enjoy your oddness" and I'll explain to you my rational behind it.
Them: you honestly can't even think of one time u were annoying and mean to someone. Way to think of yourself highly. you think u r the smartest person in the world, or at least u act that way. i am not trying to b a bitch. try being more modest, k?
Me: I'm just asking you to point out a time I was specifically mean to YOU. There are plenty of times I've been a horrible person to plenty of people and I'm not going to deny /that/. Try being less judgmental, k?
-I then made a facebook status talking about how amused I was by all the drama going on-
Them: your status is so bitchy. people are just trying to tell you things that they think would help make you an even better person and you call them silly completely disregarding the entire point of formspring. stop being so rude!
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
This is.. amazing. I'm almost convinced now that this is a joke. A "point" of formspring? The point of formspring is to make money.
GASP!
MONEY?
Who would have ever thought that the company who make this website wanted to make money?
I was *convinced* the site was a playground for trolls.
Insulting people anonymously: not rude.
Posting vague statuses on facebook: extremely rude OMG!!!!
Them: you should probably be nicer to people who try to be nice to you. people really dont like it when others point out their flaws, especially publically. i think ur nice but whenever i talk to u u always find something ive done wrong its obnoxious
[I found this one extremely amusing due to the fact that they were yelling at me for "pointing out their flaws" while they were yelling at me on formspring... about "typing so weird"]
Me: Okay. Who are you? I don't remember doing this to anyone. I'll just say this: if you ask me to be honest, I will be completely, brutally honest. I won't lie to make you feel better.
Them: see, even when someone is trying to HELP u, u act as if u do NOTHING wrong which is complete bull. u don't need to put someone down to be "honest" that's makes that person feel crappy. stop acting like u know everything.
Me: Stop acting like YOU know everything. Ooooh, you're helping me? By trying to make me feel like I'm a rude, stuck up brat? Thank-you very, very much for educating me.
Them: please i can barely talk to u because i know that i will be proven wrong by you, which gets very aggrivating. also u get so serious when people are joking around, and u start yelling @ ppl. please ease up
Me: Then don't push stupid theories. Don't say dumb things then expect me to cheerily say OH YES YOU'RE POSITIVELY RIGHT! If you're so bothered by me that you feel the need to troll my formspring just don't talk to me anymore, okay?
I can joke around. Trust me. I just don't think certain things are amusing. I'm not immature.
Them: if there are so many hate comments then TAKE A HINT! ur replies are nasty. "dumb theories"+"dumb things"? seriously at least try to deal with peoples stupidity because i am ur "friend" and u obviously can't deal with mine.sorry i am too stupid for u bitch
Me: You. Aren't. Stupid.
How many times do I have to tell you this? If you can't get it though your skull that you AREN'T stupid then /that's/ why I have a problem with you. I'm basically 99% sure that all these "hate comments" are from one person. You. I have no idea why you have a problem with me. If you could give me a more specific situation or tell me your name we could find a solution. Because you refuse to address the problem, it is YOUR FAULT. I've tried to work this through with you, but you seem dead set on a conflict. I'm sorry, but I don't care enough to actually "seek you out". If you're my friend, please just tak this through with me. You don't have to be anonymous about it. I won't hate you. Promise.
Them: why are u so mean! i met u this year and every time i talk to u u always find something wrong with what i say or you ignore me and listen to ur headset. i didnt do anything wrong and u feel the need to be a jerk, be nicer!
[This one made me start laughing hysterically. I knew by now who was writing these; she has known me since 3rd grade and has always fostered an intense dislike for me.]
Me: I listen to my headset because I am extremely INTROVERTED. That should explain why you may feel I'm 'distant' sometimes. I just don't like interacting with people in large groups.
I'm not going to do anything you command me to do. "e nicer"? I'm not going to skip though a field of flowers with you and be fake and idiotic for your personal satisfaction. If you want to talk to me, draw me away from the group we're in and I'll be glad to discuss whatever you want.
Them: i think that maybe it would be good for you to listen to some of this advice instead of blowing it off, these people have a point. i am trying to be nice about it but you are kind of rude to people and i think if you worked on that people would like u
Me: I don't care what you think. I don't care whether random people like me or not. Try talking to me in real life and I'll take you a bit more seriously. Like I said before, I won't get angry at you.
Them: only a bit? wow you really are mean. also you telling me that you dont care what i think, thats rude.
Me: You're being rude. OMG UR SO MAEN TO MEEE... U DUN CARE BOUT WHAT AH SAY UR SO MEAN.
Grow up. If you can't say it to me in person I DON'T CARE, okie-doke?
Them: u needd to stop and realize who you are. cause the mary i knew a year ago is way different than the one i see now.
Me: I'm the same. Maybe you've changed, but I haven't. Actually, I change how I act occasionally, but I never go back to the same one. It gets boring after a while, staying the same person. It's fun to mix it up occasionally.
I realize who I am. I understand my outward behaviors completely.
Them: you used to be so nice! what happened?
Me: Nothing, actually. I haven't bothered to change my outward actions yet since last year. It must just be you. ^-^
Them: i dont understand why you are laughing at these people who truly feel these things about you. i know i do, so why would you be so mean to them?
Me: 'Cause they, or should I say, YOU are cowardly and not exactly a nice person yourself.
Tell me in person if you want me to listen to your ideas AT ALL.
Them: you used to be a really good friend of mine but reading your responses to these people's comments makes me really angry and you seem like you are being such a bitch! now i dont feel like we could be friends again
Me: If you actually are one of my friends, you would have heard me talking about why I retaliated to you in this way.
Fine. If you don't want to be my friends based on some stupid social networking site and can't actually confront me in person, I feel no need to be your friend.
Them: mary i used to like you. that shy girl was nice. and now u have gotten comfortably around all our friends. and because of that, you have turned into a bitch. u may not know it. if u only want Z** and m** as your friends fine.
Me: Just say this to my face. 'Kay?
I PROMISE I won't flip out at you.
Sometimes I'll make sarcastic comments that are rude and rather mean, but they're never meant to hurt anyone~!
JEEEZZZ I have other friends besides Millster and Zeenie. Okie-doke? My whole life does not revolve around school.
Why shouldn't I be comfortable around my friends? Should I just go around with my feelings all pent up and spew them on formspring?
NO.
Talk to me. Please. I'm concerned for you. I won't hate you. In fact, it'll prolly just make us better friends.
Them: oh please, i really dont need you as a friend. i am concerned for you. see i was trying to be nice, but now that you have ticked me off and insulted me a bit, i am bringing my bitch on.
Me: If you don't want/need to be my friend, why are you talking to me and trying to "improve" me?
I was in such a good mood, too..
I'm a sarcastic, caustic introvert who doesn't enjoy the company of most people.
Feel free to troll up my formspring.
Them: i think its really funny and so stupid for people like you not to see that all these comments are coming from the people u hang with. u always say something like if u were my friend u wouldnt say this. actually the truth is we would. ITS CALLED TWO-FACED
[I literally laughed for about five minutes straight at this. I can't believe she honestly thought she was one of my best friends.. After I'd spent a few months in 3rd grade trying to understand why she hated me, I had just tried to ignore her as much as possible]
Me: I mean, if you were one of my real friends, you wouldn't say this. There are some fake, two-faced people I hang out with, and I don't really like talking to them 'cos I know what they are. Hanging out =/= friends.
Them: so then i shouldnt consider u my friend because i am just one of your "hanging out" friends? mary u can do whatever you want with your life. but at least have some respect and dont become a bitch because i know you arent
Me: Look, I have no idea who you are. (Well, I do have an idea, but I don't wanna say anything 'cos you'd get uber offended)
There is a difference between FRIENDS (people you tell all your secrets, the ones you trust, the ones you would do almost anything for) and friends who you have inside jokes with and chat with occasionally. I'm 99.99% sure you aren't my super-duper close friend.
I'm not going to be a shy, docile wallflower just to make you happy. I'm not an outgoing and aggressive person, this is true. But I'm not a passive, do-what-you-want type of person either.
Them: u and m****** barely know eachother. she doesnt know what u are like inside of school so she needs to stop mocking us. she also doesnt know any of your friends. she needs to be quiet. you two make a lovely couple.
[On this post, she forgot to make herself anonymous. I was right about who it was, the silly fool.]
Me:
I was pretty sure this was you, A**. I'm sorry you feel this way. You are, however, one of those people I've never been able to completely trust.
You're right that M****** doesn't know what I'm like in school, but you don't have to go psycho over it.
Also, I wish you had told me this in person rather than as a mistake.
Then she tried to claim she was hacked, then she admitted she wasn't, then she acted retarded for a few weeks before everything went back to normal. In the end, she did end up dragging a few other people into it, but I knew most of them were just peer pressured into it (she's very, very domineering) and we made up. Ironically enough, the school ended up having an "anti cyber bullying" seminar shortly after she revealed herself, in which the instructor person told stories about people who committed suicide after similar incidents on formspring, and their "tormentors" were sent to jail. I had a good chuckle after seeing the look on her face after that one.
