Names n' Faces?

[Melkor]

Do you find that you have particular difficulty with remembering people?

As in, you meet someone who you encounter frequently but in short bursts (or just new acquaintance), and you find that in addition to forgetting their name and face when you try to think in privacy, you find it difficult to pick them out of a crowd.


It always seems to happen to me in work or Uni, when I speak with someone who's been in my class for almost two years, and then they ask something of me, or I of them. Something simple like returning a borrowed pen or a promise to meet somewhere. I often find I forget who borrowed my pen, or who wanted help with this, that or the other.

It's especially bad in work when you stand and talk with a customer for half an hour, then go to get them something, and on returning you suddenly realise that you can only recall their sex and rough age, and so have to run about asking all the people of that type for a glint of recognition...

I usually get it wrong about four or fives times before I get them.

In addition, sometimes my memory becomes a little corrupt, replacing memories of fictional characters with real events and vice versa, or confusing two people who have the same hairstyle, similar voices or facial structure.

For example, my old art teacher, my old regional manager, and the fictional character from the extended Halo universe, Dr Halsey (Who I had only read about) all had identical visual memories. Not only that, but the actions and perceived personality of each began to meld. If my manager was tough on me, I'd be wary of my art teacher, if Halsey was particularly witty, I'd find my manager more endearing.

I didn't particularly mind this, as my art teacher was pretty straight forward and dull, but for some reason when I grew to love Dr. Halsey for all her quirks and heroism, I started to appreciate my art teacher more, and become oddly attached to her.
It actually helped me form bonds with people by substituting their bland or just evasive personalities with those of the intertwining memories.

I don't know... Perhaps it's just a downside of being imaginative.


Anyone have the same thing? I suspect it's probably a normal human phenomenon and I'm just overreacting.

 

[P.H.]

Well, yes.

I experience most difficulty with this at work. When a costumer asks me something I usually have to check our storage and as I go back they've wandered off a little to continue shopping. If they haven't, great, I know where they were so big chance it's the same person when I find someone there. If they have, there's no way I can find them because by that time I've totally forgotten what they look like. So I just wait untill somebody walks up to me and asks if I've found it.

I aim to avoid this by trying to remember what they look like very consciously. I repeat a couple of features in my head because remembering one doesn't really cut it. What if there happen to be two people with brown hair, or green coats? There's still a change I'll forget because it's difficult to remember something and simultaneously try to find an item we sell.

The biggest problem I have is attaching names to faces. Faces tend to stick, especially if I see that person almost every day, but finding the name that matches the face seems to be a challenge. I have classmates who I've been classmates with for over a year now and I still have difficulty remembering their name. This can lead to massive awkwardness and even discomfort. "You still don't know my name?"
However, when I do make the connection between the two, I will remember their name forever, or at least a considerable amount of time.

I'm not really bothered by all this though. I know it's something I find difficult but I like to try and just deal with it. If I know exactly what my problem is, say the customer thing, I try to find a solution, which is just trying to remember real hard. I've also found a solution to the names of faces problem. Whenever I think of a person, I also try to think of their name, in stead of just their face. Eventually the two will become connected.

For example, my old art teacher, my old regional manager, and the fictional character from the extended Halo universe, Dr Halsey (Who I had only read about) all had identical visual memories. Not only that, but the actions and perceived personality of each began to meld. If my manager was tough on me, I'd be wary of my art teacher, if Halsey was particularly witty, I'd find my manager more endearing.

I've never done this, neither consciously nor unconsciously. Maybe you're indeed just very imaginative, or they share a key feature by which you remember them.

 

[Jennywocky]

I used to remember both names and faces without effort. Getting older, I've found I sometimes lose names even of people I know (I think I need to sleep more), but I never forget a face, and I can see someone in a crowd that I haven't seen for years and immediately recognize the fact that we've met... and potentially recall details about them even I can't get a hold of their name.

 

[Akuma]

I think it's pretty normal.
I can't remember names at all. I do somewhat remember faces (I say somewhat because I'm short sighted and I memorized other factors for identification.).

I heard a tip, that when you first learn a person's name, you should say it out loud 3 times in a conversation with them.

 

[loveofreason]

Is this suggestive perhaps of a propensity for distilling the essence of people into archetypes? Are you relating perhaps at a more universal or abstract level rather than specific? Anxiety and intuition together can meld to hold the greater mass of humanity at bay with wonderful abstractions.

 

[EditorOne]

I think inability to retain names is just a factor of introversion. I read that somewhere. It can be somewhat overcome, as noted, by saying the name out loud several times.

I'm with Jennywocky, introduce me to someone and I forget the name within two seconds. However, recently I went to the funeral of the father of one of my high school friends. I recognized a classmate, whom I haven't seen for 45 years, from the back, simply by the way he carried himself, body language, etc. "Why, that's Ticky, I bet," and when he turned around, yes, it was. We did go to class together for nine years or so, but still: Short-term memory flakes easily, long-term memory is baked in the bone.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Is this suggestive perhaps of a propensity for distilling the essence of people into archetypes? Are you relating perhaps at a more universal or abstract level rather than specific?

I would say this is the case.


It takes quite an impression for something to become imprinted in my memory, as I'm generally passing over most things in a detached manner. It's been pointed out that I don't even know the faces or names of some of my family members you would expect me to know. Though when I do have a strong impression of someone or something I'm more likely to recall the experience while leaving out small details, such as name, that were not characteristic of the experience. I rarely forget most experiences even after a long time has passed as in years.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

EVERYONE gets nicknames or has a characteristic I can associate with something I already know... whether they know it or not..
I work in a doctor's office and have roughly... 1200 patients... I know practically all their names, but only in relation to their charts. I could tell you if they've been in recently or if they change meds a lot or get in injection. If I had to play "name that patient", the number drops to about 15% of the 1200. But even those are still impressed that I remember who they are when I only see them every 3 months...

 

[ObliviousGenius]

I'm very good with names and faces. I pretty much never forget a face. I might forget a name if I did not pay full attention when I heard it but otherwise it's very unlikely.

Maybe it's my undiminished memory in relation to my youth. Sorry Jenny, and Editor lol.

 

[ceremony]

Ah, I'd say if I focus I can remember most names. But I don't really focus all too much during introductions and small talk. I think I tend to space out. I don't really use people's names in conversations very often anyway.

 

[Luna]

It's not really that I have difficulty remembering people, I just don't pay much attention. I'm especially good at forgetting names.

I had a childhood best friend who I hadn't seen in years, and we had the same class together. I didn't even recognize her at first. I walked right past her and she waved, and I didn't wave back. I assumed she was a stranger, waving at somebody else. That was really embarrassing!

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Oh god, I have a brain like a sieve.
I remember faces slightly better than names, but I am the worst person I know about keeping names straight. The annoying thing is that I can read or be told some fact and I'll retain it perfectly for any amount of time, yet there are people who I've had to ask (or stealthily listen) for their names multiple times.

The worst part is being enthusiastically greeted or even hugged by someone whose name you don't know or even a face you don't recognize. Although this greatly lessened awhile after I'd left the church. Initially there were dozens of people that I didn't know trying to coerce my return, because my mother talks and it's the type of thing church-women get high from.

My siblings and I have also discussed how awkward it is when people from our grade school years on the border, recognize us (and occasionally apologize), as we were notorious and unanimously despised.

These days I'm not really sure why I have a hard time retaining names and faces. Perhaps an inherent, to the point of unconscious, disinterest in people at large. Though I also have this problem sometimes with people I find especially interesting.... c'est la vie.

 

[Beholder]

In addition, sometimes my memory becomes a little corrupt, replacing memories of fictional characters with real events and vice versa, or confusing two people who have the same hairstyle, similar voices or facial structure.

For example, my old art teacher, my old regional manager, and the fictional character from the extended Halo universe, Dr Halsey (Who I had only read about) all had identical visual memories. Not only that, but the actions and perceived personality of each began to meld. If my manager was tough on me, I'd be wary of my art teacher, if Halsey was particularly witty, I'd find my manager more endearing.

I didn't particularly mind this, as my art teacher was pretty straight forward and dull, but for some reason when I grew to love Dr. Halsey for all her quirks and heroism, I started to appreciate my art teacher more, and become oddly attached to her.
It actually helped me form bonds with people by substituting their bland or just evasive personalities with those of the intertwining memories.

I get you 100%

 

[C.J_Finn]

I can remember faces after I've seen someone a few times, but I can't remember names unless I've known the person for a decent amount of time. I have a friend that went to the same school as me for three years, and I ended up reconnecting with him a year or two ago and I recognized him right away. But if I was to meet one of you guys I would end up forgetting your name by the end of our conversation.

 

[BigApplePi]

I was at work some time ago. Our office had dozens of people. Some bigwig higher up came in (I had never heard of him and didn't care). He was introduced by the office manager as a courtesy. He said hello and asked everyone their names. Then he proceeded to go around the room repeating everyone's name. He remembered them all. I thought to myself, "This guy is an idiot."

 

[Grove]

I think inability to retain names is just a factor of introversion. I read that somewhere. It can be somewhat overcome, as noted, by saying the name out loud several times.

I'm with Jennywocky, introduce me to someone and I forget the name within two seconds. However, recently I went to the funeral of the father of one of my high school friends. I recognized a classmate, whom I haven't seen for 45 years, from the back, simply by the way he carried himself, body language, etc. "Why, that's Ticky, I bet," and when he turned around, yes, it was. We did go to class together for nine years or so, but still: Short-term memory flakes easily, long-term memory is baked in the bone.

This is how it works for me.

I'll forget a name as soon as I hear it. I think it has to do with focusing on what the person is saying, or what is being said about the person that distracts me before I can solidify their name in my head. I won't know what to call someone, but I'll know what they do (or that at the age of ten they broke a school window with a softball -- because that was the story told when they were introduced to me).

BUT, once I get down what someone looks like I can pinpoint them in a crowd, even if all I can see is a shoulder or a knee. It's like I recognize their angles. At work will see just an arm as someone passes through a closing door & know exactly who it belongs to.

 

[Otherside]

Sometimes I feel like i have a "middle-term" memory. It handles things like names and phone numbers that don't need to be recalled immediately and aren't terribly important.

Saying that memory is either "short" or "long" term is too simplistic IMO.

I usually find that I can't recall someone's name if they're in my "middle" memory but I'm concentrating too intently on something (possibly a conversation with that person) when I need to recall it.

 

[Sanctum]

I have the craziest memory i can remember both name and face and i can remember pretty far back i can remember locations, smells, feels. But as for short term pshh forget about it I just found a couple of AP forms that I've been looking for for about an hour and its due tomorrow i put it in a "safe" place earlier today but completely forgot were i put it. It was in the sleeve of my binder

 

[kamari rised]

I don't remember names unless I know I'm gonna meet them again. I always remember faces though. Names build though.