My ambition, lack thereof. Tools and other things.

[QuickTwist]

So I can't tell if I'm just the type of person who is just really unmotivated or unambitious or if I'm just depressed at this point. Self motivation has never been my strong suit. I need a lot of support to get anything done. As it is now, I've spent the last 3/4th of my day not doing a damn thing and am content to just muse and listen to music and keep up on all the new posts of the forum.

Some things that may help granted I can actually pull it off are/is primarily putting things in place so that I have a self-support system I make my own to use so that I can accomplish different, more productive things. Its a really good idea to put timers on things, use sticky notes and the like to help stay on task with things that actually matter, but I can never bring myself to actually put these self-support systems in place.

I am seeing a psychologist currently and it's been helpful and seeing him keeps me staying mindful of these issues. However, it seems no matter what support I get I never end up really changing behavior long term. I will say sleep has been a constant issue for me - either I am getting outrageous amounts of sleep (20 hours in some cases), or I will go a good 36 hours without sleep entirely. Everyone tells me humans were meant to sleep at night, but that is not a trivial task to solve because i don't know how to change my behavior in a positive way for this particular issue.

The psychologist told me that depressed people tend to make, sometimes, the smallest things to accomplish feel like an insurmountable obstacle to overcome. I tend to do that a lot actually. An extreme example of this is that I know if I could go out a buy a notebook to keep track of my moods from day to day and some habitual things I do then I will have a lot more insight into what I do and that will allow me to change things. But going out to buy a notebook just seems like such a big task. So you see what I am saying that this is not healthy. Help?

So what's your experience and what has helped you actually do stuff that isn't a complete waste of time?

 

[Brontosaurie]

So I can't tell if I'm just the type of person who is just really unmotivated or unambitious

You're not the kind of person who doesn't deserve a fulfilling life, at least.

 

[QuickTwist]

You're not the kind of person who doesn't deserve a fulfilling life, at least.

There are a couple trains of thought I can go with this, meaning its somewhat of an ambiguous response and interpreting the meaning that is most fitting to my situation is difficult. Could you clarify, extrapolate?

 

[Brontosaurie]

There are a couple trains of thought I can go with this, meaning its somewhat of an ambiguous response and interpreting the meaning that is most fitting to my situation is difficult. Could you clarify, extrapolate?

As i started reading your post, it seemed to me that the first sentence was summing up some notion along the lines of "Perhaps i shouldn't complain about having no purpose or direction; perhaps i am destined by virtue of my nature to suffer the spiritual frustration of a lackluster existence". I wanted to tell you that this is false and that you are entitled to complaints as well as intrinsically capable of a dignified and meaningful existence.

My interpretation may or may not be correct. As i had a hard time picking up a tangible subject or query from your OP at large, i concluded that you were primarily in need of attention (which is not a shameful condition as far as i'm concerned) so i prioritized giving you the shred of genuine benign attention at my disposal over achieving guaranteed technical relevance. If my interpretation is incorrect, i apologize for that. However, i find it unlikely that you're pleased with a situation characterized by a lack of motivation and ambition.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Sleeping disorders are a terrible thing and can destroy one's activity levels and motivation. Maybe your drive was innately low, but having a sleep disorder only makes it weaker. Definitely something to try to fix, if you can.

Seems to me you could start by working on your physical health and sleep, maybe daily excercise routine to raise blood circulation and metabolism. Then psychological and life issues are the next priority.

You're not the kind of person who doesn't deserve a fulfilling life, at least.

Is there ANY person who doesn't deserve a fulfilling life? Barring the crime system ofc.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Is there ANY person who doesn't deserve a fulfilling life? Barring the crime system ofc.

No. Everyone does. However, i've found that it's easy to selectively forget this and to start telling yourself otherwise.

 

[QuickTwist]

As i started reading your post, it seemed to me that the first sentence was summing up some notion along the lines of "Perhaps i shouldn't complain about having no purpose or direction; perhaps i am destined by virtue of my nature to suffer the spiritual frustration of a lackluster existence". I want to tell you that this is false and that you are entitled to complaints as well as intrinsically capable of a dignified and meaningful existence.

My interpretation may or may not be correct. As i had a hard time picking up a tangible subject or query from your OP at large, i concluded that you were primarily in need of attention (which is not a shameful condition as far as i'm concerned) so i prioritized giving you the shred of genuine benign attention at my disposal over achieving guaranteed technical relevance. If my interpretation is incorrect, i apologize for that. However, i find it unlikely that you're pleased with a situation characterized by a lack of motivation and ambition.

First off, I appreciate the sentiment. I was not expecting that kind of responce to be sure. You interpretation is not completely off the mark nor is it completely accurate. What your interpretation is is an identification of a larger scale problem that is pretty prevalent on this forum. I will admit that I knowingly-unknowingly know that when I write I can be hard to follow, to put it lightly, so the fact that you even bothered to give it an interpretation is, if I'm being frank, more than I expected from you. I realize now that because of our spiffs in the past where emotions, at least on my end, ran high and I felt undervalued/not valued and I realize I actually ended up demonizing you in some regards to be a heartless beast. I realize from this post that that is not true.

Second, I can totally understand where you would interpret it to mean that I am seeking attention in one way or another. I guess in a sense I am, since no one really brings up their problems without that individual to want to be listened to. However, I feel I am at a healthy(er)/more mature place in my life currently and so I feel I can talk about things that probably would really bug me in an alternate frame compared to now where I am more in a more detached way and I am not currently feeling the effects of the negative emotions associated with the problem. I guess to simplify things, I would say I am perplexed to the question "why am I having such a hard time with this change?" in the context of well being and proactivity.

Lastly, I am in fact looking for a real solution to my problem, though I probably am not going to get the answer I seek since it will likely rely on people having a much better scope of interpersonal relating in knowing psyche in a very intimate manner in a very proactive fashion of how to set priorities for oneself, which is a trick I have yet to really get a real answer for -wherever I seem to try to get information for it. What I really need is a way to hardwire priorities into my ego, which would mean actually changing my psyche in some sense of the word. I'm guessing it is going to take a lot more therapy with a psychoanalyst with a MD licence before I even get close to that point though.

I suppose I can add room for a final bitch. I am comparing myself to others in an unhealthy way and it bugs me that I am not as successful as others given that I am relatively gifted in intellect and my problem stems almost wholly from my, what I would call poor motivation, but in actual fact its prolly closer to not utilizing idea tools as regularly as I should.

I can't tell if I feel better for getting that off my chest or not.

 

[Brontosaurie]

First off, I appreciate the sentiment. I was not expecting that kind of responce to be sure. You interpretation is not completely off the mark nor is it completely accurate. What your interpretation is is an identification of a larger scale problem that is pretty prevalent on this forum. I will admit that I knowingly-unknowingly know that when I write I can be hard to follow, to put it lightly, so the fact that you even bothered to give it an interpretation is, if I'm being frank, more than I expected from you. I realize now that because of our spiffs in the past where emotions, at least on my end, ran high and I felt undervalued/not valued and I realize I actually ended up demonizing you in some regards to be a heartless beast. I realize from this post that that is not true.

Well, it's pretty clear that social suicide is my preferred mode of self-destructive coping. Kinda bitchy using others like that. Working on it

Second, I can totally understand where you would interpret it to mean that I am seeking attention in one way or another. I guess in a sense I am, since no one really brings up their problems without that individual to want to be listened to. However, I feel I am at a healthy(er)/more mature place in my life currently and so I feel I can talk about things that probably would really bug me in an alternate frame compared to now where I am more in a more detached way and I am not currently feeling the effects of the negative emotions associated with the problem. I guess to simplify things, I would say I am perplexed to the question "why am I having such a hard time with this change?" in the context of well being and proactivity.

It sounds like you've already made some positive changes, albeit perhaps unknowingly or perhaps with the aid of others like your psychologist.

There is not much to add to what your psychologist said. The struggle with tiniest decisions and tasks is very real. The importance of "baby steps" is hard to understate.

If i were to suggest a starting point it would be exercise. If you're anything like me (vanity over comfort) then the prospect of a better body could be used as a motivational catalyst for all kinds of constructive, progressive changes. It also allegedly helps regulate neurochemistry - not that i know if that aspect is mechanically separable from the concrete psychological benefits, but worthy of a reminder anyway.

Lastly, I am in fact looking for a real solution to my problem, though I probably am not going to get the answer I seek since it will likely rely on people having a much better scope of interpersonal relating in knowing psyche in a very intimate manner in a very proactive fashion of how to set priorities for oneself, which is a trick I have yet to really get a real answer for -wherever I seem to try to get information for it. What I really need is a way to hardwire priorities into my ego, which would mean actually changing my psyche in some sense of the word. I'm guessing it is going to take a lot more therapy with a psychoanalyst with a MD licence before I even get close to that point though.

I agree with this. You need to change who you actually are, and become more of yourself. Good insight - many people fear it, but you embrace it.

I suppose I can add room for a final bitch. I am comparing myself to others in an unhealthy way and it bugs me that I am not as successful as others given that I am relatively gifted in intellect and my problem stems almost wholly from my, what I would call poor motivation, but in actual fact its prolly closer to not utilizing idea tools as regularly as I should.

Phrasing it like that makes it easier to practically deal with, doesn't it?

 

[Lot]

It might not sound helpful, but I just started doing something. That's how I found the motivation. Gardening was what got me out and enjoying life. My advice is to stop telling yourself no to going out. When I felt the urge to get out of the house, I just did. Any excuse I could think of.

Working a full time job helped me too. I discovered that being busy with work filled my day with something that felt useful. Like I wasn't just wasting time playing games, or jacking off all day. It also forced me to get out and keep a schedule. The extra money I gained has opened up a lot of options to me for things to do on my days off.

Being depressed is a bitch. Not being motivated, to take care of yourself or plan longer than the next 6 hours. There was a time I felt like I wasn't going to be around much longer anyways, so why should I take care of myself or invest in my future. It made it easy to just accept, "I'm a loser. I'm not good enough. No one will every understand or love me. I hope I just get hit by a car."

Seeing how a suicide effected so many people, even people the person wouldn't have considered, really changed how I looked at life. It woke me from my nihilistic slumber. I decided life was worth living, so I might as well try to enjoy it. I started looking for interests and spending more time with people. I started out with small goals, and trying to find attainable dreams. It's not something you can just tell someone. It's something the person, in this case you, has to see for yourself.

I like that you don't seem to care what people think about you. There is an aspect of you that does, but you still are genuinely yourself. You show who you are and let people accept you or not. That is a rare quality bro. You sound depressed. I don't remember details, but I remember you've had some hard times, and your burdens. I hope maybe you can get something from my post.

 

[Urakro]

As it is now, I've spent the last 3/4th of my day not doing a damn thing and am content to just muse and listen to music and keep up on all the new posts of the forum.

The psychologist told me that depressed people tend to make, sometimes, the smallest things to accomplish feel like an insurmountable obstacle to overcome. I tend to do that a lot actually. An extreme example of this is that I know if I could go out a buy a notebook to keep track of my moods from day to day and some habitual things I do then I will have a lot more insight into what I do and that will allow me to change things. But going out to buy a notebook just seems like such a big task. So you see what I am saying that this is not healthy. Help?

So what's your experience and what has helped you actually do stuff that isn't a complete waste of time?

I'm going to be one of those people who're all like "Ya, you think you have it bad!" blah blah, but I think the reality is that what I'm going through you'd be envious of, as what you got, I'm a bit envious of.

As it is currently, with the way my work schedule is, and the transportation arrangements, alongside taking on extra work home with me, I'm grappling the unease of not being able to just do nothing. I'm really in need of that. Just kicking back and completely waste a good few hours on something completely unproductive.

Actually, I'm doing it now on the forum and it feels good. A pleasant satisfaction as I'm completely ignoring the nag from the back of my mind telling me that work is being neglected. Now I'm realizing I might have to make up for it.

Oh well.

 

[QuickTwist]

I'm going to be one of those people who're all like "Ya, you think you have it bad!" blah blah, but I think the reality is that what I'm going through you'd be envious of, as what you got, I'm a bit envious of.

As it is currently, with the way my work schedule is, and the transportation arrangements, alongside taking on extra work home with me, I'm grappling the unease of not being able to just do nothing. I'm really in need of that. Just kicking back and completely waste a good few hours on something completely unproductive.

Actually, I'm doing it now on the forum and it feels good. A pleasant chill of satisfaction as I'm completely ignoring the nag from the back of my mind telling me that work is being neglected. Now I'm realizing I might have to make up for it.

Oh well.

You might not think it, but I'm glad you made this post. It brings a much needed reality to this one sided problem that I have that can choke the life out of things. And I say I empathise with your situation - it is not easy to be up to your neck with duties that you can only put off for a little while until the stress of not keeping up with things takes hold.

 

[EditorOne]

The notebook? Paralysis by analysis, an INTP trait sometimes. Cultivate alacrity: The instant the idea of buying a notebook comes into your head, get up and go do it. That's all the reason you need. Don't stop to think about it, compute if you can afford it this week, contemplate what size notebook to get, what color, lined or unlined, would a paper calendar be better, crap on all that stuff: Get up and go get a damn notebook and apply your thinking to either other things or the process itself, like finding car keys or a bus token or an extra $2 or whatever.

Getting stuff done is a skill you can strengthen only by deploying it, until it stops being a barrier and starts becoming "normal."

It sounds pretty simplistic, but jeez much of life is simple, we just complicate it in our heads.

The time to analyze is when you've got a month's worth of notes in that notebook. And in this case, I wouldn't even try to do that without sitting in the same room as your counselor. :-)

 

[QuickTwist]

It might not sound helpful, but I just started doing something. That's how I found the motivation. Gardening was what got me out and enjoying life. My advice is to stop telling yourself no to going out. When I felt the urge to get out of the house, I just did. Any excuse I could think of.

Working a full time job helped me too. I discovered that being busy with work filled my day with something that felt useful. Like I wasn't just wasting time playing games, or jacking off all day. It also forced me to get out and keep a schedule. The extra money I gained has opened up a lot of options to me for things to do on my days off.

Being depressed is a bitch. Not being motivated, to take care of yourself or plan longer than the next 6 hours. There was a time I felt like I wasn't going to be around much longer anyways, so why should I take care of myself or invest in my future. It made it easy to just accept, "I'm a loser. I'm not good enough. No one will every understand or love me. I hope I just get hit by a car."

Seeing how a suicide effected so many people, even people the person wouldn't have considered, really changed how I looked at life. It woke me from my nihilistic slumber. I decided life was worth living, so I might as well try to enjoy it. I started looking for interests and spending more time with people. I started out with small goals, and trying to find attainable dreams. It's not something you can just tell someone. It's something the person, in this case you, has to see for yourself.

I like that you don't seem to care what people think about you. There is an aspect of you that does, but you still are genuinely yourself. You show who you are and let people accept you or not. That is a rare quality bro. You sound depressed. I don't remember details, but I remember you've had some hard times, and your burdens. I hope maybe you can get something from my post.

I have not had it that bad comparatively, that is pretty much fact. I live in a first world country first of all which most the world wishes they were me right there. I have all my primary needs met and I live in luxury for the most part.

I've had a few of my peers die in my lifetime. Thing is, i was going through my own shit at the time so I didn't hardly feel a thing. I won't go into details here, but suffice to say there were a couple suicides.

And yeah, I've been mistreated enough to not give a damn if someone likes me or not. When it comes to being ruined, that is another thing and I hope the worst is past me in regards to that, but I have adapted so even if I am rejected, it will not sting as bad. All in all I don't really know how badly I have been abused emotionally, and I might just want to keep it that way.

 

[QuickTwist]

The notebook? Paralysis by analysis, an INTP trait sometimes. Cultivate alacrity: The instant the idea of buying a notebook comes into your head, get up and go do it. That's all the reason you need. Don't stop to think about it, compute if you can afford it this week, contemplate what size notebook to get, what color, lined or unlined, would a paper calendar be better, crap on all that stuff: Get up and go get a damn notebook and apply your thinking to either other things or the process itself, like finding car keys or a bus token or an extra $2 or whatever.

Getting stuff done is a skill you can strengthen only by deploying it, until it stops being a barrier and starts becoming "normal."

It sounds pretty simplistic, but jeez much of life is simple, we just complicate it in our heads.

The time to analyze is when you've got a month's worth of notes in that notebook. And in this case, I wouldn't even try to do that without sitting in the same room as your counselor. :-)

I have several notebooks, but i want one specifically devoted to this cause.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[QuickTwist]

Well, it's pretty clear that social suicide is my preferred mode of self-destructive coping. Kinda bitchy using others like that. Working on it



It sounds like you've already made some positive changes, albeit perhaps unknowingly or perhaps with the aid of others like your psychologist.

There is not much to add to what your psychologist said. The struggle with tiniest decisions and tasks is very real. The importance of "baby steps" is hard to understate.

If i were to suggest a starting point it would be exercise. If you're anything like me (vanity over comfort) then the prospect of a better body could be used as a motivational catalyst for all kinds of constructive, progressive changes. It also allegedly helps regulate neurochemistry - not that i know if that aspect is mechanically separable from the concrete psychological benefits, but worthy of a reminder anyway.




I agree with this. You need to change who you actually are, and become more of yourself. Good insight - many people fear it, but you embrace it.



Phrasing it like that makes it easier to practically deal with, doesn't it?

I never really pictured you as the self-destructive type. You've said some very reasonable things in this thread, thanks.

 

[QuickTwist]

Sleeping disorders are a terrible thing and can destroy one's activity levels and motivation. Maybe your drive was innately low, but having a sleep disorder only makes it weaker. Definitely something to try to fix, if you can.

Seems to me you could start by working on your physical health and sleep, maybe daily excercise routine to raise blood circulation and metabolism. Then psychological and life issues are the next priority.


Is there ANY person who doesn't deserve a fulfilling life? Barring the crime system ofc.

Working on physical health would be good. I sometimes go in spurts of a lot of exercising for a bit and then completely drop it. Will have to pick it up again at some point.

 

[Urakro]

It's the intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation thing as well. Intrinsically, all you are inclined to do is to listen to good music, muse about your thoughts, and read INTP forum. Extrinsically, you know you should do other things (with reasons) but have no inclination to do so.

Those 'reasons' are probably brought on by external pressures, because internally you've worked them out to be lower in priority. After judging and comparing, the situation isn't dire enough to sacrifice what is really important to you right now.

From my own experience, I'd bet you jump to your feet really quick upon encountering a more drastic situation. For instance, if the dishes were piling up high-sky, and now a host of mice and pests were invading your house while sleeping, you'd do something. Whether it be moving, or cleaning up, or finding some way of correcting it.

All it takes for me to do the dishes is the smell. It gets pretty noxious. But also, I do a visualizing thing where I imagine a completely organized house, and how my thoughts and feelings would follow it's suit. How much more comfortable it would feel for myself and potential company. Also, I get to be innovative and create a good strategy, which brings a small sense of pride in the accomplishment. The visualizing the reward technique coupled with the strategy to fix a high priority situation feeds into something more intrinsic. It becomes something I want to do, rather than something I should.

But sitting and playing isn't really all that unproductive. Not as much as sitting and worrying. At least with play, it's kind of meditative and it's good practice to just take your mind off stressful things, and enjoy life a bit. 'Play', by itself, is not really anything that needs medication or extensive therapy for.

 

[QuickTwist]

It's the intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation thing as well. Intrinsically, all you are inclined to do is to listen to good music, muse about your thoughts, and read INTP forum. Extrinsically, you know you should do other things (with reasons) but have no inclination to do so.

Those 'reasons' are probably brought on by external pressures, because internally you've worked them out to be lower in priority. After judging and comparing, the situation isn't dire enough to sacrifice what is really important to you right now.

From my own experience, I'd bet you jump to your feet really quick upon encountering a more drastic situation. For instance, if the dishes were piling up high-sky, and now realizing a host of mice and pests were invading your house while sleeping, you'd do something. Whether it be moving, or cleaning up, or finding some way of correcting it.

All it takes for me to do the dishes is the smell. It gets pretty nauseous. But also, I do a visualizing thing where I imagine a completely organized house, and how my thoughts and feelings would follow it's suit. How much more comfortable it would feel for myself and potential company. Also, I get to be innovative and create a good strategy, which brings a small sense of pride in the accomplishment. The visualizing the reward technique coupled with the strategy to fix a high priority situation feeds into something more intrinsic. It becomes something I want to do, rather than something I should.

But sitting and playing isn't really all that unproductive. Not as much as sitting and worrying. At least with play, it's kind of meditative and it's good practice to just take your mind off stressful things, and enjoy life a bit.

You are correct that I have made doing little a priority and if something drastic happened, I would be effectively forced to change. However, that is not the full story because it lacks a solution to the problem. The solution is to see the reasons why & how it is important to do the dishes as opposed to simple superficial reasons. The hardest part yet is not knowing that the dishes will smell if I don't do them, but understanding the realization of the actuality of the fact and drawing the connection that, "yeah, this affects me" and its better for me to do the dishes. I get caught up on the last step pretty frequently.

 

[Hadoblado]

It sounds like depression, but even if not, to the same extent that it's useful to think of depression as a condition, it's useful to think of your current state as a condition (even if it's not depression). You are experiencing a sense of powerlessness to change what logically you should very easily be able to change. External first world circumstances aside, that's really shitty.

If the external is only experienced internally, and there's an issue with your internal state, it doesn't matter if you're an emperor your quality of life is still rubbish.

I find keeping a diary helps, and making sure that all my goals are very short term. If I try to meet the demands of a big picture, I can't enjoy success until I've achieved something so big the likelihood of me getting there is next to zero. The small things, like getting a notebook, are ways to raise your base level of activity. Once it's higher, larger things become doable. Setting your hopes on something large only to lose interest leaves you with nothing, reinforcing the notion you don't do things, making it easier to slide back into decrepitude.

For example, I'm starting gym. I wanna put on muscle weight, and I want better health. Even though lifting is better for muscle gain, and for burning fat, I'm sticking to 20 minutes on the treadmill for the first week. Twenty minutes on a treadmill is doable, and I can get out of bed the next day. It's not easy in my current state of health, but once I've set the base line for low intensity gymming once a day, I can replace one day a week with an arms day. Keeping everything gradual, and committing only to a level of momentum you can maintain on your bad/average days keeps you from falling off the horse. After two weeks of treadmill every day and one arms day, I introduce a legs day. In two months I'm doing an hour of treadmill, and four muscle group sessions a week, and not once have I made a big step.

The important thing is to commit only to things you can be iron-willed about. Never give any ground unless you've got a clear reason for exception, and make sure it's only a temporary setback. Have the long term goals, but only approximate it, and try not to have a timeframe. So long as you gradually improve you'll get there eventually. Time is less important when otherwise it's a question of whether you'll recover, not when.

Also, keep your goals to yourself.

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

Achieve the things you want to because you want to. Internalise them.

By the way, speaking of acknowledgement of accomplishment, the quality of your posting has sky rocketed. Keep it up

 

[QuickTwist]

It sounds like depression, but even if not, to the same extent that it's useful to think of depression as a condition, it's useful to think of your current state as a condition (even if it's not depression). You are experiencing a sense of powerlessness to change what logically you should very easily be able to change. External first world circumstances aside, that's really shitty.

True enough. I need to spend some time thinking about this.

If the external is only experienced internally, and there's an issue with your internal state, it doesn't matter if you're an emperor your quality of life is still rubbish.

I find that taking a "lets watch them drive" approach seems to be how it works in these situations.

I find keeping a diary helps, and making sure that all my goals are very short term. If I try to meet the demands of a big picture, I can't enjoy success until I've achieved something so big the likelihood of me getting there is next to zero. The small things, like getting a notebook, are ways to raise your base level of activity. Once it's higher, larger things become doable. Setting your hopes on something large only to lose interest leaves you with nothing, reinforcing the notion you don't do things, making it easier to slide back into decrepitude.

writing things down more is def the plan. I don't write much, but this reaffirms that its something I need to do more.

For example, I'm starting gym. I wanna put on muscle weight, and I want better health. Even though lifting is better for muscle gain, and for burning fat, I'm sticking to 20 minutes on the treadmill for the first week. Twenty minutes on a treadmill is doable, and I can get out of bed the next day. It's not easy in my current state of health, but once I've set the base line for low intensity gymming once a day, I can replace one day a week with an arms day. Keeping everything gradual, and committing only to a level of momentum you can maintain on your bad/average days keeps you from falling off the horse. After two weeks of treadmill every day and one arms day, I introduce a legs day. In two months I'm doing an hour of treadmill, and four muscle group sessions a week, and not once have I made a big step.

good advice, well put.

The important thing is to commit only to things you can be iron-willed about. Never give any ground unless you've got a clear reason for exception, and make sure it's only a temporary setback. Have the long term goals, but only approximate it, and try not to have a timeframe. So long as you gradually improve you'll get there eventually. Time is less important when otherwise it's a question of whether you'll recover, not when.

What are some tricks for knowing when you are iron-willed to do something or not?

Also, keep your goals to yourself.

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

TED talks has some really good stuff that I don't see all the time. The video made it easy to see how this works, thanks.

Achieve the things you want to because you want to. Internalise them.

That video and you telling me this is the first time I have heard it.

By the way, speaking of acknowledgement of accomplishment, the quality of your posting has sky rocketed. Keep it up

Thanks. Truth be told I don't even know what I am doing differently.

Thanks for the wise words.

 

[MEDICaustik]

Is there ANY person who doesn't deserve a fulfilling life? Barring the crime system ofc.

Everyone has the right to pursue a fulfilling life, but the only people who DESERVE a fulfilling life are the ones who pursue it.

Nobody is entitled to fulfillment unless they work for it.

 

[QuickTwist]

Everyone has the right to pursue a fulfilling life, but the only people who DESERVE a fulfilling life are the ones who pursue it.

Nobody is entitled to fulfillment unless they work for it.

True enough. My problem, like Hado and Editor mentions, I basically get paralyzed and the obstacles that I come across doing these things are not always as easy to identify as the obvious.

Luckily, I am already at a better spot today than I was yesterday. I went out and bought a notebook and got a haircut as well.

 

[MEDICaustik]

True enough. My problem, like Hado and Editor mentions, I basically get paralyzed and the obstacles that I come across doing these things are not always as easy to identify as the obvious.

Luckily, I am already at a better spot today than I was yesterday. I went out and bought a notebook and got a haircut as well.

I know the feeling man.

Some days I wake up with an intense sense of purpose and I get shit done.

Other days I wake up feeling like a useless pile of dogshit, and the achievement of my day is taking is a shower. Some days I can't even amount to that much.

Some days I am positive about the direction I want my life to go in, other days I feel overwhelmed with the idea of doing anything at all.

This is the result of living so much in our own heads. The Introverted Thinking is both a blessing and a curse. Our greatest gift, and our greatest enemy.

 

[QuickTwist]

I know the feeling man.

Some days I wake up with an intense sense of purpose and I get shit done.

Other days I wake up feeling like a useless pile of dogshit, and the achievement of my day is taking is a shower. Some days I can't even amount to that much.

Some days I am positive about the direction I want my life to go in, other days I feel overwhelmed with the idea of doing anything at all.

This is the result of living so much in our own heads. The Introverted Thinking is both a blessing and a curse. Our greatest gift, and our greatest enemy.

What is going on here? You are the second person in this thread to give strong indication that I could very well be INTP. This is weird because, though I have tested very regularly as INTP, it was not accepted that I was that type both here (earlier) and elsewhere. Honestly, I've been on the roller coaster of what type I am for so long that I'm not really sure how I feel about MBTI at all.

 

[MEDICaustik]

What is going on here? You are the second person in this thread to give strong indication that I could very well be INTP. This is weird because, though I have tested very regularly as INTP, it was not accepted that I was that type both here (earlier) and elsewhere. Honestly, I've been on the roller coaster of what type I am for so long that I'm not really sure how I feel about MBTI at all.

As great of a tool as MBTI is, remember that it's trying to explain the personalities of 7 Billion people in 16 ways.

It's a high level tool. It is possible to exist in the margins of types.

There are pieces of typical INTP-personality that I identify with 100%, and then there's other parts that seem totally foreign to my experience.

I too have trouble believing whether I truly am INTP, because I have figured out all the MBTI test questions and know what answers result in what types.

But reading about each type, INTP is the one that results in the most "holy shit that sounds just like me!" moments.

 

[Nebulous]

So I can't tell if I'm just the type of person who is just really unmotivated or unambitious or if I'm just depressed at this point. Self motivation has never been my strong suit.

I had depression pretty severely during the past year and a half, and I attributed my lack of motivation to it. But I've gone a few months without depression now and I'm as lazy as ever.

I am seeing a psychologist currently and it's been helpful and seeing him keeps me staying mindful of these issues. However, it seems no matter what support I get I never end up really changing behavior long term. I will say sleep has been a constant issue for me - either I am getting outrageous amounts of sleep (20 hours in some cases), or I will go a good 36 hours without sleep entirely. Everyone tells me humans were meant to sleep at night, but that is not a trivial task to solve because i don't know how to change my behavior in a positive way for this particular issue.

I had terrible insomnia prior to last October. I would get maybe two hours of sleep on an average night. Shifting to a more normal sleep schedule was definitely stressful at first, but it worked for the most part and I've managed to adapt well enough. I don't regret it.
Talk to your psych about making a plan to fix your sleep problems. If they don't know, ask your doctor.
Melatonin and ASMR videos on YouTube help me a lot.
Getting enough sleep regularly and eating healthily will probably help with the depression.

The psychologist told me that depressed people tend to make, sometimes, the smallest things to accomplish feel like an insurmountable obstacle to overcome. I tend to do that a lot actually. An extreme example of this is that I know if I could go out a buy a notebook to keep track of my moods from day to day and some habitual things I do then I will have a lot more insight into what I do and that will allow me to change things. But going out to buy a notebook just seems like such a big task. So you see what I am saying that this is not healthy. Help?

I still do this, but I did it more when I was depressed. Now I'm more aware of when I'm starting to get ridiculously lazy again (for example: when I'm choosing to sit in bed instead of walking down the hallway to put any dirty glasses in the dishwasher). When I catch myself considering something of that sort, I make a conscious decision to just go clean the dishes or whatever I have to do. It's become a habit now, which is great. It works with small things, but bigger tasks like complicated homework assignments still rarely ever get done.
About the notebook: it's a great idea. I used to keep TONS of notebooks. I should really try to write more often. The more insight and awareness you have of yourself, the better off you'll be. If you can pinpoint any irrational behaviors/thoughts or flawed coping mechanisms that you have, then you'll be able to catch yourself before you use them in the future.

So what's your experience and what has helped you actually do stuff that isn't a complete waste of time?

I still waste 99.9% of my time. I'm wasting time right now.
(The following is sort of dumb and probably won't help but idk I'll write it anyway)
One thing I do that helps motivate me is to think of the multiverse theory.
There are infinite universes in which every possibility plays out. There are universes where I choose to sit around all day, and there are universes where I choose to take action and get stuff done. Which one would I rather live in? Probably the one where I accomplish things.


I have a pretty bad headache right now, sorry if what I've said makes little sense or is disorganized.