Now I'm searching for something and somewhere that will appreciate my INTPness as much as NoID10ts does...
Probably many of us are on the same boat. I think that whatever it is that one day may motivate me to dedicate myself to something wont come from the outside, it will come from myself. I dont care for what is expected of me enough to do it, I dont care for money or comfort enough to do that which can provide it, or recognition, or mostly anything. If there is something that can motivate me is my capricious interest, and nothing more. So I am looking for that which interests me enough, that which I enjoy enough, I asume that such thing exists and that is sufficient to look for it. If I find it then great, if not, then the search alone will take me a long way.
Try what poki said. You might find it helps.
Ah yes, the quintessentially INTP question: "Why?"
"What is the point?"
"What is the meaning of it all? Why am I doing what I am doing? Why care?"
I'm a Christian, but that just changes the question from "What is the meaning of life?" to "What is the meaning of my life?" What am I doing? What am I made for?
But my answers drive my life. I have abandoned society's expectations for my life and chosen my own path based on my convictions... until you find those answers, until you find a passion that drives you, you will live your life as fickle and lost. "If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything" may be cliche, but it gets the point across. You will fall for anything, become disappointed, disillusioned, fall for something else, repeat, and eventually brew cynical.
It's the way of the crusty old INTP, an ancient art.
So don't push these questions away--push the rest of your life away until you figure out what you are doing, because there's no reason to keep going down the path you are going if you don't know where it takes you and/or where you want to go.
L.
)Oooh, I love this thread. It sounds deliciously revolutionary.
*warning - rant ahead*
There are a lot of lies around. Many people want to entice you into their addictions. The worst lie of all is wanting to make a difference - the ultimate seduction to cheat death.
All you have to do is work very hard in your chosen profession; be exploited; work 24/7 (and don't delude yourself, you will); try to climb the ladder; become addicted to status and toys and stuff; pay lots of taxes; contribute to someone's bottom line; delight your mother and father (who did the same as you are doing but failed); get a mortgate (delighting your bank's shareholders); have kids and sacrifice EVERYTHING for them; feel trapped; face the growing realisation that actually you won't make a difference AND that you probably had your ladder up against the wrong wall in the first place; get depressed; project all your unfulfilled needs onto your children and....well you know the rest.
Firstly, know that if you do make a difference it won't make you happy.
Secondly, maybe the problem is less that you find it difficult to get motivated than actually you are postiively demotivated at the path that seems to lie before you e.g. the school, university, job, material conformity path.
Thirdly, dream. Go wild. Ask yourself the question - if I had everything I needed or wanted, what then would I do? If I had made a difference, loved my neighbour, delighted my parents, made the money, got the degree - what would I do then?
The most scary thing in my view is to shake off those horrible expectations and do what you want - if that means lying on your bed thinking all day, then do it. And see where it takes you. And enjoy the journey.
*rant over*
Oh, btw, I am a Christian too. Though how that matters I'm not quite sure
I'd ask what cryptonia asked, but accoording to the "Family"-Thread i am already, am i not?
Except that I've currently run away to Timbuktu but I'm sure I'll get over my commitment phobia soon.
We had a period in the UK where people took on tons of debt, mortgaged up to the hilt and then rates reached double figures almost overnight. Our best friends decided just to walk away from the debt, declared themselves insolvent and lived in rented accommodation for a couple of years. Then they just started where they left off - they now have a lot more than we have. They took on board the social stigma and lived with it. it's weird how things turn out.
Well, the first stage on the journey is dissatisfaction with the present. You've seen through the lie but the choices ahead seem scary. I mean REALLY scary. You do get a lot of psychological rewards being a human sacrifice (great phrase, btw). One thing I have found is that we often do not allow ourselves to dream and I don't know why. It goes something like this:
'well I could just give up my job and move to the coast and write - something I have longed to do for some time now......*dreams*.....but no, that won't work. I'd never make any money from writing and how would I get any money anyway. I'd probably end up working in a bar for half the money I get now. In fact I'd probably end up working twice as long for half the money! No, it's hopeless. It'll never work. I might as well stay where I am. It's not that bad.'
In other words, the voice of society, crushes the voice of your inner spirit as soon as it begins to express itself.
There's nothing wrong with dreaming. I would encourage everyone to have lots of dreams and write them out (treating a dream like a story helps to shut out the voice of social conformity). It's almost as if we are scared that simply expressing our dreams might be a dangerous business. It's important to have lots of dreams though. For example you could have a dream of staying in the city but working for a different cause or type of organisation. When the right dream comes along it will resonate with you and won't go away. It's also important that the dream is a positive vision rather than an excuse to run away from something that is causing unhappiness at the moment. I don't know.......only that it's important to enjoy the journey.
@Cryptonia - you can come any day....we can set up an alternative society and you can join my growing clan of children and adoptees.
@ Ogion - I'm not so sure that living for the day is such a bad idea. Well there's a whole philosophy/religion based on it, so....
This post is too long so maybe I'll suggest this another time. But I was thinking about the ridiculousness of paying all the money to go to university and wondering what value you get from it. Why not create a virtual INTP university where we all educate ourselves. We can have flashmob lectures around the country, local meets where we discuss ideas and socialise, critique each others essays and generally have a great time learning what we need rather than wasting our time with useless lectures and wasting our money with an education that doesn't seem fit for purpose.
Yes, a wise statement. To be written on your arm to again and again read it
You know who else said that?
)
