Moments of Happiness

[thatsummer]

My friend pointed out to me that tonight's MTV True Life was on high school wrestling. She knows how much I enjoyed my wrestling career. I didn't watch the show, but the mention of high school wrestling made me nostalgic. Those few years are my favorite memories. They are the longest period of happiness I've experienced so far.

What was it about high school wrestling that made me so happy and kept my interest for so long? I question it all the time. Wrestling was a grueling sport, physically and mentally. The wrestling season was long. The practices were exhausting. Outside of practice you have to maintain a strict diet. During a match, you were all alone. You never had to share the glory of victory, but at the same time you bear the all burden of defeats. You got the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows.

Life was simple as a wrestler. I've never been so single minded in my life. This is really weird for an INTP. My mind races and wanders. Thinking back, my mind did the same thing back then. But instead of 8 hours per day with my head in the clouds, it was more 30 mins to an hour. I guess nothing clears the mind better than risk of bodily harm if you lose focus. I loved wrestling and didnt mind doing all the mundane things so I could participate. I remember there were days I felt terrible, wasnt prepared for school, and really didn't want to get out of bed. But I got up anyway, bc we couldnt practice if we missed school.

I had respect from my peers and mentors. Wrestlers had a good reputation. I don't even know how to describe it, but people spoke and treated me different than they do now. My teachers were always interested in my well being, how my season was going, and who my next match was against. They gave me the benefit of doubt when I messed up and never accused me of wrong doing. I felt like they were happy with me, like I was doing exactly what they expected. Now days I feel like I disappoint more often than I make people happy. Other students treated me differently than my classmates now. I really dont know how to put this into words.

And my favorite thing about my wrestling career were my teammates. I havent talked to some in years, but I still consider those guys my best friends. Making good friends was easy in wrestling. It had nothing to do with popularity. I didnt have to try to impress them. Heck, I didnt even need to talk. I just showed up everyday, worked hard, and friendship just fell into place. Every once in a while there was a loud mouth, who thought he was a hotshot and disrespects everyone. We'd humbled them quickly.

Since then I've experienced micro moments of happiness. But nothing last. Do you have any experiences like this that you'd like to share?

 

[lucky12]

Nostalgia.

Tonight was full of it for me, good stuff.

Mine comes from dirt biking as a youth, rumbling through the hills of the suburbs. We were criminals.

We should get out of the house more, stop posting on intp, go wreck shit.
Roll through a neighborhood with an electric guitar squealing out some dirty Hendrix solo.

 

[Awaken]

I wrestled in High School as well. Like you, I loved it. Although I like some team sports, wrestling is bascially 1v1. No relying on anyone else. When I was on the mat I was in a zone, oblivious to the outside world. My coach could be screaming at me and I would have no idea. Ahh the memories. Sometimes I regret my choice of not continuing in college.

 

[Jah]

I find I'm generating more and more of these moments in my day to day life...

I guess that's what you, in Transactional Analysis, would call a winner-script.
(source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Script_Analysis )

So I have these moments, everytime I am calm and assertive, everytime I set aside time to meditate, everytime I understand something I hadn't understood before, or uncover some detail about something I thought I had understood, which turns out to hold even further dimensions.


Basically This is the best world in the world. (a "saying" I've found myself laughing at a few times as of late.)

 

[thatsummer]

Mine comes from dirt biking as a youth, rumbling through the hills of the suburbs. We were criminals.

criminals!? haha, I hope you mean in a youthful sort of way. I broke a lot of rules too, but it was all in good fun. We turned a corner of the local park into bmx jumps. It took a while to grow out of that. In high school my friends and I used to go off-roading in development neighborhoods.

Sometimes I regret my choice of not continuing in college.

Same here. I got offered some scholarships to d2 schools, but I submitted to the pressure of growing up.

I guess that's what you, in Transactional Analysis, would call a winner-script.

interesting, I've never heard of transactional analysis. How does it apply?
I'll have to do some more reading.

 

[thatsummer]

I guess the big question is, how do I recreate this moment? If I did recreate it, is it sustainable indefinitely?
I can imagine raising a family would evoke the same feelings I described in the original post. Ugh, I need to put more effort into finding the right girl. The thought of dating is exhausting.

 

[perkins]

Why don't you wrestle again? There are an abundant amount of martial arts academys that emphasize grappling.

 

[RaBind]

You cannot step into the same river twice. - Heraclitus

You can enter a similar lake though There was a technique that involved the trainer making an athlete really tired, so that the athlete would be too exhausted to daydream or think of something else. The trainers used it to make sure the athletes heard and remembered what they were saying. Similar to the suggestion perkins gave, why don't you take up a sport or activity? If it is something you are interested in, you should be able to submerge into the activity without noticing time or other problems in your life.

 

[thatsummer]

I have lots of hobbies, including MMA. They help me relax and make life bearable, but I am not satisfied. Right now I spend most of my time discontent with moments of gratification. I am very motivated to find a way to enjoy most of my time with moments of discomfort. I will figure it out. I was just wondering if any of you have.

 

[Awaken]

I too gave up wrestling in college for a "career". For I while I did muay thai, boxing, and submission grappling to satisfy my fix. I need to find another gym around me.

 

[snafupants]

Happiness really is a temporary lifting of boredom and misery. Our base state, for evolutionary reasons, is boredom. If you had too many happy ancestors, you're probably not alive today.

 

[thatsummer]

If you had too many happy ancestors, you're probably not alive today.

interesting use of the word ancestors. i agree, i am not really alive today.

Happiness really is a temporary lifting of boredom and misery. Our base state, for evolutionary reasons, is boredom.

do you believe long-term happiness exist?

 

[Jah]

Happiness really is a temporary lifting of boredom and misery. Our base state, for evolutionary reasons, is boredom. If you had too many happy ancestors, you're probably not alive today.

Yeah... maybe it's the other way around.
Those people who are really happy about themselves probably have a reason to be so.

One plausible theory as to why is that they have a lot of sex (biologically one of the prime indicators/instigators? of happiness)



Perhaps not a blissful happiness-type of state, where everything is cool, but happiness nonetheless.

 

[thatsummer]

Yeah... maybe it's the other way around.
Those people who are really happy about themselves probably have a reason to be so.

One plausible theory as to why is that they have a lot of sex (biologically one of the prime indicators/instigators? of happiness)

Perhaps not a blissful happiness-type of state, where everything is cool, but happiness nonetheless.

Wow, I completely misread the ancestors comment.
Maybe happiness isn't the right word. I don't know what is the feeling is called. I still had goals. Content with my progress? Satisfied with my social situation? It is something along those lines... haha, ignorant of my un-satisfaction. Who knows?

 

[snafupants]

interesting use of the word ancestors. i agree, i am not really alive today.


do you believe long-term happiness exist?

Typically long-term happiness cannot exist; the promise and pitch of extended happiness is a lie and used extensively for selling products; sustained long-term happiness would likely be the result of a genetic anomaly or debilitating drug use or some other unsustainable practice.

That said, long-term contentment can exist, if you put in the effort; I feel that I have cultivated long-term contentment by focusing on work and grief instead of ephemeral happiness. The two most expedient ways for finding contentment, in my amateur opinion, would be finding a relatable mate and meaningful outlet for your talents. Practices like meditation could maybe be a supplement but I wouldn't put too much faith in an exercise that promised quick results.

Whether they deny it or not (that sounds tautological: oh well), most folks have an innate animal primordial drive/need for community; that's one of the reasons this forum is so popular. That's also why I think a love of music is so prevalent among the beaten and rejected.

To Jah's point, life can be a beautiful experience, but it can also be completely daunting depending on birth circumstances. Overall, however, I feel if one were always and undeservedly contented there would be no incentive to mate or eat or sleep or commit to the activities that (sometimes unconsciously) pave the way for the next generation. Your point is compelling, Jah, but I believe it misses the mark at this juncture in human history.

To also toss/shoehorn in Maslow right quick, reverence/appreciation is an essential component to peak emotional experiences, contentment, and enjoyment of life. Again, just my amateur opinion, and you could call me full of shit and that would be fine. I just feel if you go without these things for too long something isn't right.

 

[thatsummer]

Typically long-term happiness cannot exist; the promise and pitch of extended happiness is a lie and used extensively for selling products; sustained long-term happiness would likely be the result of a genetic anomaly or debilitating drug use or some other unsustainable practice.

That said, long-term contentment can exist, if you put in the effort; I feel that I have cultivated long-term contentment by focusing on work and grief instead of ephemeral happiness. The two most expedient ways for finding contentment, in my amateur opinion, would be finding a relatable mate and meaningful outlet for your talents. Practices like meditation could maybe be a supplement but I wouldn't put too much faith in an exercise that promised quick results.

Whether they deny it or not (that sounds tautological: oh well), most folks have an innate animal primordial drive/need for community; that's one of the reasons this forum is so popular. That's also why I think a love of music is so prevalent among the beaten and rejected.

To Jah's point, life can be a beautiful experience, but it can also be completely daunting depending on birth circumstances. Overall, however, I feel if one were always and undeservedly contented there would be no incentive to mate or eat or sleep or commit to the activities that (sometimes unconsciously) pave the way for the next generation. Your point is compelling, Jah, but I believe it misses the mark at this juncture in human history.

To also toss/shoehorn in Maslow right quick, reverence/appreciation is an essential component to peak emotional experiences, contentment, and enjoyment of life. Again, just my amateur opinion, and you could call me full of shit and that would be fine. I just feel if you go without these things for too long something isn't right.

Well written. I think the condition I described fits your long-term contentment definition. In fact it fits it exactly. My outlet for my talent was wrestling, and my "relatable mate" was teammates/friends. I was not thinking of happiness as a static state of existence that requires little effort to maintain.

I've read Maslow's book, and I think he is spot on. You're reference to him is a bit random though. As in, I agree about reverence, but I dont know that relates to the current discussion. No matter... More importantly, how does one go about creating an environment to fulfill their needs? Can it be created? Or should you just bounce around organization until one fits the bill?

 

[snafupants]

Well written. I think the condition I described fits your long-term contentment definition. In fact it fits it exactly. My outlet for my talent was wrestling, and my "relatable mate" was teammates/friends. I was not thinking of happiness as a static state of existence that requires little effort to maintain.

I've read Maslow's book, and I think he is spot on. You're reference to him is a bit random though. As in, I agree about reverence, but I dont know that relates to the current discussion. No matter... More importantly, how does one go about creating an environment to fulfill their needs? Can it be created? Or should you just bounce around organization until one fits the bill?

Hey, haha, I said upfront that it would be shoehorned in; well, doesn't reverence, as Maslow uses the term, relate to contentment? How I phrased it may have made for an inelegant segue but I feel it's perfectly relevant.

I just wanted to include that Maslow part to have a working definition of my life philosophy, or at least a facet of it, out there. N.B., I put that bit in five minutes later after doing some web-surfing. Hold your fire.

 

[Jah]

This may be a bit messy, I haven't had time to distill these thoughts.


Contentment regardless of your situation in Life, is not necessarily undeservedly so.
I mean, there is a difference between accepting life, as is, but still working towards making tomorrow better than today for as many people as you can, and isolating oneself in inner seeking for some transcendent experience of happiness.


I believe there may be some everyday level of contentment which might be available to every person.

In accepting that we are human beings, our experience of life.
(though I'll freely admit that I'm coming from a privileged background.)


I suspect there is a difference between being content, happy, with just living, and being satiated (hope this makes sense).
Satiated and blaze.

I mean, accepting and enjoying life does not mean that one automatically hold no thoughts for the morrow.

Accepting that there might not be a tomorrow, and still finding it enjoyable to be part of that process of improving tomorrow, is also a form of contentment.


Living honestly, and in touch with your own desires on several levels, balancing the impulses of immediate satisfaction, short-term, with the long-term strategies.



Isn't this plausible ?