Memory woes.

[KazeCraven]

I've gotten to the point where I have to tell my bad memories to "F*** off."

For me, it's mostly when I recall being a hypocrite or doing something I think, in retrospect, is dumb. Mostly memories than undermine the type of person I want to be.

Anyone else have similar problems? Maybe you don't flick your memories off like I do, but I think that's just the extreme.

 

[speiss]

Oh, that happens to me all the time. I constantly regret what I've done yesterday, thinking that it was the stupidest course of action I could have possibly taken, and "I didn't mean it, I truly didn't mean it."

Do I flick them away at the drop of a hat? Not necessarily. Sometimes when I'm thinking about something distasteful, like death, I avoid thinking about it immediately to lower the risk of a depressive slump. If I'm thinking about my previous behavior that I disapprove of, I reflect upon it and think of how to fix myself for the future, making sure never to do such a thing ever again.

Sometimes it doesn't work, though.

 

[shoeless]

i used to be really bad with that. but as i got older and more comfortable with myself/confident in who i am/whatever, it started dissipating. it's still there occasionally, but for the most part i'm pretty good at letting go of stuff like that.

mostly though i just have really shitty memory. i hardly remember my childhood at all, for example, so i dunno.

 

[420MuNkEy]

I just went through some 5 year old emails of mine the other day of situations I thought I remembered. Surprisingly, I had actually managed to suppress a disturbingly large portion of my idiocy. So that just opened up mental scars I forgot I had... and I still couldn't bring myself to delete them

 

[RubberDucky451]

I try not to look back, It's usually very disrupting.

Things I've done don't bother me as long as they're about a year old.

 

[Alice?]

Oh, that happens to me all the time. I constantly regret what I've done yesterday, thinking that it was the stupidest course of action I could have possibly taken, and "I didn't mean it, I truly didn't mean it."

Do I flick them away at the drop of a hat? Not necessarily. Sometimes when I'm thinking about something distasteful, like death, I avoid thinking about it immediately to lower the risk of a depressive slump. If I'm thinking about my previous behavior that I disapprove of, I reflect upon it and think of how to fix myself for the future, making sure never to do such a thing ever again.

Sometimes it doesn't work, though.

Pretty much this exactly.

 

[Words]

I've gotten to the point where I have to tell my bad memories to "F*** off."

For me, it's mostly when I recall being a hypocrite or doing something I think, in retrospect, is dumb. Mostly memories than undermine the type of person I want to be.

Anyone else have similar problems? Maybe you don't flick your memories off like I do, but I think that's just the extreme.

Regret. There are other threads about this. I have this.

It's essentially the combination of our four INTP functions. Our tertiary Si allows us to easily bring back the past---specifically decision-based past because we are Ji dom's---, our Aux Ne gives us ideas on other ways to approach that past, and the main actor, Dom Ti, starts the criticism of "logic". "Oh woe is me" or "I was so stupid" are familiar phrases.

What I believe is the greatest weakness of INTP's is Dom Ti itself. If we can learn to "relax" and/or "turn-off" our constant and nagging introverted judging, we can interact and explore the outer world of Ne'ish Fe in a more comfortable fashion. We can do what "our logic" thinks we can't do. Kill Ti...for a moment.

 

[Cavallier]

What drives me crazy is when I remember with regret things I did as a child. I have a really good memory and even remember much of my toddler years. I still regret things I did when I was 4.

I recall the mistake I made then I create a solution so that I won't make the same mistake in the future. Only then can I accept the mistake without regret. When I push the memory away it will eventually come back and drive me crazy again.

 

[Adymus]

Oh I get that from time to time. A memory about something I did or said that was stupid, or usually tactless is recalled, and then I will cringe or sometimes make a groaning sound as I tell myself not not focus too much on it. It is a part of how our Si is connected to our Fe, so we will recall the experience as well as how we felt about it at the time, or how we currently feel about it.

 

[Adymus]

What I believe is the greatest weakness of INTP's is Dom Ti itself. If we can learn to "relax" and/or "turn-off" our constant and nagging introverted judging, we can interact and explore the outer world of Ne'ish Fe in a more comfortable fashion. We can do what "our logic" thinks we can't do. Kill Ti...for a moment.

It is not a matter of "killing your Ti" (Which is not an option anyway) as it is a matter of trusting all of our other functions. Sometimes we get stuck in our comfort zones and discount the possibility of the outside world being enjoyable (This occurs when we listen to Si more than Ne), and our Ti is often to quick to discount holistic judgment of Fe because of it's perceived lack of logic, and thus reliability.

Either we miss out big time.

 

[AlisaD]

I used to have a lot of those moments. What I should have said. What I could have done.

But somehow, along the way, I lost them. No more regrets. No more battering myself about past decisions. Not even about the really stupid ones.

You'd think I'd be pleased. But it makes me feel a bit sad, and somehow... less human

 

[Words]

Oh I get that from time to time. A memory about something I did or said that was stupid, or usually tactless is recalled, and then I will cringe or sometimes make a groaning sound as I tell myself not not focus too much on it. It is a part of how our Si is connected to our Fe, so we will recall the experience as well as how we felt about it at the time, or how we currently feel about it.

My experience has definitely been "recall then fee"l. Si Fe, as dominant players, seems fitting.

It is not a matter of "killing your Ti" (Which is not an option anyway) as it is a matter of trusting all of our other functions.

I don't agree. Whenever I do something, I 'endlessly' "filter" it through the judgment function. I am conscious of this natural state. I trust my other functions but it does not stop and "make way" for the rest of the functions. The solution I have made for this problem is to simply stop asking "Is this right?", which basically ends the "Ti rages".

Or perhaps I have lessened my reliance on Fe instead...

All I know is that wlesser Judgment and more perceiving is good.

 

[Dormouse]

I figure changing anything about the past would kill the person I am now, so I'm pretty much at peace with the mistakes I've made.

They used to really bother me, though. Generally my worst memory's were moments of personal weakness. Lying, cheating, letting certain whims get the better of me or acting out stupidly. Things like that would keep me up at night years later.

I'm fine now, though. Don't quite know what's changed. I suppose it just comes of accepting that I'm never going to forget any of it, so I might as well learn. At least I'm ultra-vigilant now.

 

[Red Devil]

"Oh I get that from time to time. A memory about something I did or said that was stupid, or usually tactless is recalled, and then I will cringe or sometimes make a groaning sound as I tell myself not not focus too much on it."

I used to do this all the time. Analyze and dissect it to death - what I said/did, how I could've said/done it differently etc. Gah! That's a sure shot way to madness. Thankfully I don't do it as often now.

I don't really have a great memory but certain memories stand out more than the others. The embarrassing ones more so than the good ones. Funnily enough, the good ones fade away faster.

 

[Minuend]

Oh, very much so. And if I can't remember anything cringeworthy, I'll start thinking about what I could have said or done that would be. That actually triggers about the same reaction as if I did it for real >_>