Madness & Motivation

[Cognisant]

What are you dissatisfied about?

Yourself specifically, it's all well and good to say the world's being run improperly but you can't change that right now, but you can change yourself, so tell me, in what way could you be a better person?

It's a question we hate to ask ourselves and as INTPs I believe we're particularly adept at avoiding it, our tendency to procrastinate being the result, figuratively we put things out of sight and out of mind, because it’s easier than dealing with them.

Hence my questioning, I'm asking you to focus on that which you do not want to focus, to develop a dissatisfaction with yourself, the madness of ambition, to seek more than what's simply required.

 

[Dormouse]

Can wanting to stop wanting to change who I am count? Maybe an overabundance of ambition and insecurity is my problem.

 

[Ermine]

Point taken. But I think I'll keep my dissatisfaction to myself.

 

[Minuend]

Really? I constantly think about what I dislike about myself. Not much self acceptance here, I say. And, ironically, that's one of the things I don't like about myself.

Do I ever try to change? No.... I don't think I'm worth the effort.

I don't know how dissatisfied I am with the world. Can "we" really be better than what we are now? It's not that I think humans are horrible, it's just that they..... can't do better.

And also, you forgot your flaws, Cog. It does kinda underline your point, though...

 

[Auburn]

Dory, why is ur cup empty...? *blinks* =(

As for this question, oh god where to begin.. >>
(perhaps I should start by saying I'm a perfectionist and have a Ph.D in self-criticism)


I'm dissatisfied with:

• - being human in general
• - being mortal
• - my accent
• - my crappy vision and mild-colorblindness (i blur blue and purple easily ;p)
• - having horrible memory/forgetfulness
• - not being a genius, or not having much natural talent
• - my inability to have the intuitive and mental clarity strong enough to deduce what is the most logical way to manipulate the system of society in such a way that I can live in wealth starting asap and for the rest of my life without needing a typical job.
• - my inability to deduce from my environment everything possible: and hence doomed to be blind and controlled by causality - a slave to circumstances, and to live a life full of mistakes where foresight could have safeguarded.
• - just having substandard intelligence in general (anything less than perfect is not good enough. << er.. perfect would be something more resembling L perhaps?)
• - my (often disguised) massive ego.. o,o
  
• - fondness of the thought of being omnipotent/godlike.. ^^;
  
• - internal shamelessness at the former statement but yet external demeanor portraying a type of shamefulness for it; a hypocrite.
• - the same type of hypocrisy being a theme in my outer life...
• - my lack of wings
• - my inability to swap between genders at will
• - not remembering all of last night's dream *growl*
  
• - inability to identify people who carry the same zeal for absolute truth, and unquenchable curiosity that I do. [surely in my 20 years I've come across others, but were oblivious to their potential, no?]
• - the constant struggle between heart and mind.
• - my fear of dead.
• - my fear of spiders, bees, and saliva..
  
• - i should... just stop now. >>
  

...and there's bound to be tons more, but I'll spare you the pain. <<

Coggie, you haven't written yours... *soft poke*

 

[Fukyo]

What are you dissatisfied about?

I'm good for scrap metal.

 

[typus]

Too huge ego (although I pretty much always hide this in RealLife) and my inability to convince myself that it doesn't matter what I manage to do with my life since there isn't any objective quality-meter, no real objective meaning and also that I'll be DEAD when it's all over, so really, what does the image of myself in the world after my death have to do with me?

(Sometimes I start thinking about what people will write about me in the future, it's really ridiculous, I am portrayed as The Greatest Person That Have Ever Lived, The Perfect Example of a Renaissance Man, The Most Humble Person of All Time (although that one I deliberately add for humour. This mostly happens when I brush my teeth, I wonder why...)

 

[warryer]

- my crappy vision and mild-colorblindness (i blur blue and purple easily ;p)

Yea I have color blindness too. For me its Redish Brownish Greenish colors that are kinda close together. I can tell the difference between traffic light red and green.

I remember one time in first grade I had a box of crayons that didn't say what colors the crayon was. I started to cry because I couldn't tell the difference between red and brown .... I joke about it now though.

----

As for stuff I am dissatisfied about. Mainly its how I over-think my way out of doing something. Getting all worked up about something minor then find out how much energy I wasted before hand. I have had many experiences of apprehension like this. I'm starting to get better about it. The unknown cripples me.

Most anything is "easy" enough that you can will yourself through it. Those pesky emotions will always be there though.

 

[Auburn]

nyah.. *goes back in time and pats little crying warryer*

(I would just argue saying "no... it's purple!" then them: "it's blue!", "it's purple!" and so on >>)

Heh, sometimes I think it's kinda neat that I see reality in color shades that the majority don't - but then it becomes a type of mental itch not being able to know what the spectrum looks like to a typical human. It'd love to just see through the eyes of another person, for just a minute, to see what the difference is between their eyes and mines.

 

[kantor1003]

What are you dissatisfied about?
It's a question we hate to ask ourselves and as INTPs I believe we're particularly adept at avoiding it, our tendency to procrastinate being the result, figuratively we put things out of sight and out of mind, because it’s easier than dealing with them.

I am not where I wanted to be, and I think I never will. Your question isn't one I avoid, it is actually one I keep bothering myself with all the time. I can't help it. Maybe it's a bad thing. Procrastinating only makes it worse. People usually say how doing an action is tiring, but I would argue that sometimes procrastinating that action is way more tiring.
I have been a lazy fool. I have spent more time reflecting on how to do things and torturing myself about how little I do them, and less time actually doing it. I often feel pretty terrible about myself and judge myself according to my (maybe) very strict criteria of how I should be. I feel like a failure, and if I am to judge myself as unbiased as possible, I would say that if I don't do anything about it soon, I will be one for the rest of my life.

 

[Da Blob]

Personally, I just try to live this, as much as is possible for me...

Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. 10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me

 

[Cognisant]

I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

Wisdom of living a happy life.

Although in the choice between a finite happy life and a infinite purgatory (to strive for more than merely life, at the loss of contentment) I choose purgatory, imo true beauty involves a aspect of tragedy, good things must be earned before they can be enjoyed, and thus everything that has not been earned brings little or no enjoyment.

 

[Da Blob]

Wisdom of living a happy life.

Although in the choice between a finite happy life and a infinite purgatory (to strive for more than merely life, at the loss of contentment) I choose purgatory, imo true beauty involves a aspect of tragedy, good things must be earned before they can be enjoyed, and thus everything that has not been earned brings little or no enjoyment.

Yet our life itself, is a gift from God that we have not earned, nor could earn. Actually, it is impossible for God to be indebted to us - He owes us nothing. He does not even owe us an explanation. He certainly has no responsibility to reveal or prove Himself to us.

It may well be to perceive Beauty one must have known ugliness and indeed, ugliness in the presence of Beauty is a tragedy...

 

[Dormouse]

Dory, why is ur cup empty...? *blinks* =(

Because it is not full.

Spoiler

And because, oddly enough, I feel rather like a dilluted version of myself. A full cup is not warranted.

Oh, and because it was so nice and organized:

• - being mortal
• - my accent
• - having horrible memory/forgetfulness
• - not being a genius, or not having much natural talent
• - fondness of the thought of being omnipotent/godlike.. ^^;
  
• - internal shamelessness at the former statement but yet external demeanor portraying a type of shamefulness for it; a hypocrite.

These.

I would also like to be a better story-teller.

 

[echoplex]

I want to live every possible life from every possible angle, and I want to understand all of it from every possible point-of-view. And then, I want to embark on a decade's long effort to write a giant book about it describing my experiences, only to be interrupted, sometime during the writing of the sixth chapter, by a long lost friend, so that we may have tea and run through the forest for the rest of our days, completely abandoning the book. Because, see, what I really want to learn to do is to let go of everything and surrender myself to the whims of this silly life. To embrace the joy of simpler pleasures, to unashamedly bask in the glow of my very being. Plus, writing an extremely long book about everything you've done is fucking stupid.