Learning life lessons that cycle in and out of consciousness.

[QuickTwist]

I have recently found a pattern in my own behavior.

What happens is that someone (usually someone and not something) will do something to piss me off. I will stew and be angry and it will come out in ugly ways. As such I observe that it comes out in ugly ways and I don't like that so I want to change that. So then the next step would be taking a moment to myself to talk myself through the emotion when Bob's Bogus Blues tells me I should kill myself and I am much better able to deal with the situation if something similar has happened in recent memory. For those of you who have a mind like a steel trap, this may not apply, but I find the patterns of behavior and my aptitude to cope with unpleasant emotions is an interesting thing to look at.

Ofc there is a ton that just happens in the mind that is hard to identify and examine during this learning process where I had previously gotten pissed and now am handling a similar situation much better. I believe the trigger for dealing with it better is due to a coping mechanism that is not a "good" way to deal with it. In essence, what happens is that at some point I get pushed to the point where I do something as an overreaction to the triggering moment. For some unexplained reason, this seems to "free me" from the burden I had previously held onto in my psyche. It is like a release where I will overcompensate and then be satisfied with my disheveled way of dealing with it. It is a thing of mystery for me to analyze why this happens. Eventually, this kind of mistake builds up and I repeat the process all over.

If anyone knows in more detail why this happens, I would like to know.

 

[QuickTwist]

Not necessarily necessary, but a Jungian perspective on this would be most helpful I think. I could also probably get down with any Psychoanalytical perspective as well.

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

I guess it's a general theme in life. We strive to improve ourselves, try to push the development of our character by means of conscious and disciplined effort. It might work for a while but the we drift away from that path, and realize this only much later. In order to have constant control we would need to have control of both our own thoughts and the influences we get from the outside world, both of which are impossible to execute perfectly.

This is something that has bothered me too sometimes. My only solution is to constantly expose myself to new knowledge and the words of lucid thinkers. Having life-long role models, inspirational figures and personal principles to fall back on helps a lot. Obviously figuring out who the lucid thinkers are to begin with is an art in itself.

 

[svitani]

Is it feasible to ask 'why do I feel this way'? Maybe write the question to yourself, slowly and in private?