Anthile a-Go-Go
If you followed my posting in the Five Things thread, you may have noticed that I was going to watch the worst movie I have ever seen up to this point. Ho boy, was I right with that!
First, I have seen quite a few terrible movies - some of which are even on the bottom 100 of IMDB. I have my very own "unholy trinity of suck" consisting of IKU, Undefeatable and Space Mutiny. Now IKU is more of a joke and while it is a terrible movie, the reason why I chose it was because of the huge difference what I was promised (basically Blade Runner 2) and what I got (a bisexual hardcore porno). It's probably not that atrocious if you are into bisexual Japanese porn. I am not.
Undefeatable is just terrible from beginning to end. But hey, it's a Cynthia Rothrock movie so at least you get some chuckles out of it!
Of these three movies, Space Mutiny is probably the worst. It's so bad, not even Reb Brown can save it. It makes both IKU and Undefeatable look like Oscar material. Yeah. Oh, and it was also partially funded by the South African apartheid regime... Well, you can watch the very amusing MST3k version on Google Video, it's definitely worth it.
So why am I telling you about these three movies? Because Monster a-Go-Go makes them all look like Citizen Kane. Monster a-Go-Go is is the worst possible movie in existence. I have a hard time describing this without using adjectives like bleak, hollow, nihilistic or soulcrushing. Mainly because they wouldn't do this movie justice. It's devoid of any kind of joy, fun or entertainment. It's the ultimate anti-movie. You can't even make fun of it.
Some people have lifechanging or even spiritual experiences while watching some movies? I had some of those too, while watching masterpieces like 2001, Stalker or Fitzcarraldo. Monster a-Go-Go gave me one of those too but it was like staring into the abyss. It is like a a Great Old One from a Lovecraft story, it's not even evil, it surpassed mere humanoid semantic constructs a long time ago and became living metaphysics to sing the song that ends the world.
You know, the only time I ever cried during a movie was with The Last Unicorn. This was almost the second time.
If you ever come near a copy of Monster a-Go-Go, run. Run like hell. There is nothing else you can do.
