Joke Thread

[Coolydudey]

I Think a sticky jokes thread (In the lounge?) would be quite a good place to have some fun if we're bored and let off some steam (plus find the sort of jokes we like for a change) . There could be an experimental non-sticky first to get people used to it and on the same kind of level for the jokes before moving it to a sticky ( which is a big thing, so I doubt this will actually happen anyway)

 

[snafupants]

Why do they serve baklava at Greek weddings?

To keep the flies off the bride.

 

[Fukyo]

There is a whole subforum for this sort of thing.

 

[snafupants]

There is a whole subforum for this sort of thing.

Let me the boys be boys Fukyo.

 

[kantor1003]

Why do they serve baklava at Greek weddings?

To keep the flies off the bride.

I liked that one!

 

[Fukyo]

Let me the boys be boys Fukyo.

He can open a thread for jokes if he wishes so.


but it better be a good one

 

[MissQuote]

I saw this today and it made me smile.

Spoiler

That is about all I've got right now.

 

[Coolydudey]

Where's the sub-forum, I still haven't found it (!)?

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

what did the bird say to the man?

nothing.

the bird was dead.

it was ran over by a tractor.

 

[SandMizzle]

She had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Dum-dum-tz.

 

[Cognisant]

Xkcd is genius.

 

[SandMizzle]

Cognisant is once again drunk as f*** and goes home by car.
A policeman pulls her over onto the side of the road and walks over to her.
"Do you realise you've got two snakes attached to the front of your car?" he asks.
"It's all right," replies the drunkhead, "they're just my windscreen vipers."
So Cognisant got arrested and had to sit on the death-chair, it was a shocking event.
The End.

 

[chatvite]

A mother asked her son to go to the store and get a gallon of milk. She then said, "If they have eggs, get six."

The son returned from the store with 6 gallons of milk. The mother asked why he brought back so much milk.

The son replied, "They had eggs."

 

[Fukyo]

Where's the sub-forum, I still haven't found it (!)?

It's called Fun...

 

[Cognisant]

Alternatively there's the arena, if you prefer slapstick....

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Why was homosexual Jesus able to walk on water?

Because he was flam-buoyant.



*Gets stricken with lightning*

 

[Hadoblado]

Below is my favorite joke. Yes I am a bigot, plz don't judge (it's not a nice thing to do).

Spoiler

A university degree is like an erection... long and hard unless you're Asian

 

[psion]

what did the bird say to the man?

nothing.

the bird was dead.

it was ran over by a tractor.

Favourite.

 

[Coolydudey]

It's called Fun...

It's not just for jokes though

Maybe I'll make a jokes thread in there

 

[Jennywocky]

Favourite.

Yup, here we go -- the anti-jokes!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.

Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn't. Numbers are non-sentient and thus not capable of consciously experiencing fear.

.....

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

.....

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?
It depends on how hard you throw them.

 

[cghhmnrtt]

What did the leper say to the prostitute?


"Keep the tip."

 

[snafupants]

Yup, here we go -- the anti-jokes!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.

Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn't. Numbers are non-sentient and thus not capable of consciously experiencing fear.

.....

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

.....

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?
It depends on how hard you throw them.

The middle three were pretty clever and ironic, especially the fourth zinger, but the fifth knee slapper was room-clearingly crude even for me.