I've become more extroverted. Thought? Help?

[DrSketchpad]

This deals with introversion/extroversion, but I didn't want to categorize it as MBTI & Typology because I'm not really giving information, just looking for more casual discussion. (In case this was in question)

This is something that I've become more aware of over the past couple months that I don't really like. I've become more extroverted. I don't mean that I've become more socially active, but rather I'm more geared toward dealing with the outside world. This would seem like a benefit, to many, especially for extroverts, however I've come to consciously value my relationship with myself / my thoughts on a greater level than I had before.

The reason for this change, I suspect is being around more people more consistently. These days, I have to think about other people all throughout the day as opposed to just a few hours then the rest to myself and my inner narrative.

Has anyone here observed this change in themselves? Have you reverted to a degree following any other changes? Is this some completely obvious/common phenomena that I've somehow evaded all this time?

Thoughts, please.

 

[QuickTwist]

I think it is normal in that having more stimulus from the outside is telling your subconscious that focusing on the outside world is necessary in dealing with things. It is one of those things that works in the same way as fight or flight even though it is not as dramatic of an effect, but the principle is the same I think. I don't think it at all is a bad thing necessarily - I think it is just a paradigm shift that you are going through right now, which is not bad in and of itself. It is now up to you now that you have come to this realization on how to set your priorities I think.

 

[DrSketchpad]

@QuickTwist

"It is now up to you now that you have come to this realization on how to set your priorities I think."

I'm hoping that it's that conscious of a choice and I'm not just suddenly more shallow or something. Oh well, I should have bundles of alone time some time *sort of* soon. Time will tell. It's something I can work on anyways.

 

[QuickTwist]

@QuickTwist

"It is now up to you now that you have come to this realization on how to set your priorities I think."

I'm hoping that it's that conscious of a choice and I'm not just suddenly more shallow or something. Oh well, I should have bundles of alone time some time *sort of* soon. Time will tell. It's something I can work on anyways.

From what I understand based on what you have said, you were put in a position where you were, for lack of a better term, forced to be more engaged in the outside world. Part of what makes us humans the upper echelon of the species on earth is that we have the ability to use reason in a rational way. You must make the best decision you are capable of when choosing to keep your engagement with the outside world the same or change things to better suit what you desire.

 

[Yellow]

It's hard to cope with a changing self-identity, especially if it was built in self-defense.

I'm not trying to imply your introversion was/is a sham, only that maybe the idea of it has brought you more comfort than is typical for something as simple as an inclination.

Perhaps you responded to an underfulfilment of your need for quality interaction (which we all have to some degree) with a denial of said need. So this apparent disarmament is not only surprising, but slightly disturbing because it requires an adjustment in your personal narrative.

At least that's what I've experienced in the last few years. I'm not quite as introverted as I once thought (though I remain socially reserved), and it bothered me at first.

I've always been creative, for example, and I've always enjoyed aimless thought and conjecture. But I realized one day that I do better with an outside inspiration and/or mental stimulation. My best work comes from ideas I run across and then use to my amusement and advantage. It was my secret shame for a little while until I questioned my need for everything to be entirely invented in my own mind. (Especially since we need that flow of ideas back and forth to cull the stupid, illogical, and nonsense thoughts from our collective intellect).

I needed to feel entirely independent because it was how I coped with some adversity in my personal development.

Maybe you aren't as extreme in your attachment to introversion as I was, so perhaps this isn't relatable at all, but hopefully it helps.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

I'm more geared toward dealing with the outside world. . . . The reason for this change, I suspect is being around more people more consistently. These days, I have to think about other people all throughout the day as opposed to just a few hours then the rest to myself and my inner narrative.

I'm hoping that . . . I'm not just suddenly more shallow or something

Being better at dealing with the external world and people is... shallow, to you?
Why is it bad? What's shallow about it?
Does you being more geared toward dealing with the outside world actually interfere with your relationship with yourself/your thoughts?
If so, why? That seems strange to me.
Are you not capable of maintaining your own internal identity without devoting focus to it?

I don't think I fully see the problem. I really don't see how the external world limits your experience of your internal one.

Edited^

 

[DrSketchpad]

It's hard to cope with a changing self-identity, especially if it was built in self-defense.

Perhaps you responded to an underfulfilment of your need for quality interaction (which we all have to some degree) with a denial of said need. So this apparent disarmament is not only surprising, but slightly disturbing because it requires an adjustment in your personal narrative.

I was more inclined to deny a need for interaction, but I do really feel as though I was closer to myself a few years ago through pure inclination. Now it almost feels like the reverse of what you describe, I can very consciously recognize and feel the need for a stronger relationship with myself (this looks silly typed out, but I think you get the sense of it. Perhaps "my inner happenings" is a better replacement).

At least that's what I've experienced in the last few years. I'm not quite as introverted as I once thought (though I remain socially reserved), and it bothered me at first.

I've always been creative, for example, and I've always enjoyed aimless thought and conjecture. But I realized one day that I do better with an outside inspiration and/or mental stimulation. My best work comes from ideas I run across and then use to my amusement and advantage. It was my secret shame for a little while until I questioned my need for everything to be entirely invented in my own mind. (Especially since we need that flow of ideas back and forth to cull the stupid, illogical, and nonsense thoughts from our collective intellect).

I needed to feel entirely independent because it was how I coped with some adversity in my personal development.

Maybe you aren't as extreme in your attachment to introversion as I was, so perhaps this isn't relatable at all, but hopefully it helps.

I wouldn't say the attachment is stronger / weaker, but different. I'd say functions give insight into this for me. I used to be more reflective and came up with new, changing perspectives of my view on the world and everything on the daily(Ni), but now I'm having to deal more with other's thought processes / ideas which I think is degrading my inner life a bit. Your descriptions definitely match Ti + Ne (need for personal/intellectual, autonomy & search for novelty outside of yourself), so that's why I say that it's a different manifestation of something similar.


Anyways, to recap / TLDR: I hope I can strengthen my sense of self at least some day, because I sort of feel more empty now that I compare myself now to myself then. And I understand what you're saying and it's nice insight, and I'll have to think on it more.

 

[DrSketchpad]

Being better at dealing with the external world and people is... shallow, to you?
Why is it bad? What's shallow about it?
Does you being more geared toward dealing with the outside world actually interfere with your relationship with yourself/your thoughts?
If so, why? That seems strange to me.
Are you not capable of maintaining your own internal identity without devoting focus to it?

I don't think I fully see the problem. I really don't see how the external world limits your experience of your internal one.

It's an attention and priority matter. My attention is shifted away from myself and my ideas/thoughts and toward the outside world and it's demands (or rather, more-so than before).

Shallow may give too negative of a connotation. I mean shallow in the sense that I'm dealing more with things at the surface of everyday experience. Whereas now my attention is shifted toward other dealings which leaves less time / room for development of subjective principles/ideas/thoughts or even the maintenance of my priority of such things it seems.

My life just feels sort of empty ATM. (If I could find a less whiny way to put it, I would)

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

My life just feels sort of empty ATM. (If I could find a less whiny way to put it, I would)

No, that's a perfectly fine way to put it. I understand that. I feel a similar way, I think, in a sense.

It's an attention and priority matter. My attention is shifted away from myself and my ideas/thoughts and toward the outside world and it's demands (or rather, more-so than before).

Shallow may give too negative of a connotation. I mean shallow in the sense that I'm dealing more with things at the surface of everyday experience. Whereas now my attention is shifted toward other dealings which leaves less time / room for development of subjective principles/ideas/thoughts or even the maintenance of my priority of such things it seems.

I think maybe I might just be experiencing/have recently experienced a change in the opposite direction from you.

Lately I've been feeling that the outside world and how we affect it is more important than I previously have, and that prioritizing the self is, well.. by definition, selfish. (not trying to call you selfish. Hope it doesn't sound that way)

I find that the outside world is useful for the self-reflection type stuff, though, too. I always find that external is where you (or I guess *I*) draw new data and perspectives with which to alter and refine internal thoughts. Perhaps that's just a matter of extraversion/introversion, though (duh, that's what this thread is about), but it's been my experience that the brain will run over the same patterns and processes unless presented with a new element to help divert the flow of thoughts and avoid wearing grooves.

I guess I'm no help at all, seeing as I'm probably an extravert and your problem seems to be a loss of your introversion. sorry

 

[Pyropyro]

You just gained more confidence, nothing to worry about.

Anyways, i think you're undergoing through a transition phase. We are unfortunately timebound creatures and its inevitable that we would have to discard certain things to enjoy new ones.

I did experience these changes and I flip-flopped a lot but more or less I did get out of it. My inner world and dream world are fine actually, in fact even better. Having social interactions provides my Ti with decent amount of data.

As for you evading the change, I think it's more about you discovering this potential for change.

 

[DrSketchpad]

You just gained more confidence, nothing to worry about.

Anyways, i think you're undergoing through a transition phase. We are unfortunately timebound creatures and its inevitable that we would have to discard certain things to enjoy new ones.

Yeah, I guess.

I did experience these changes and I flip-flopped a lot but more or less I did get out of it. My inner world and dream world are fine actually, in fact even better. Having social interactions provides my Ti with decent amount of data.

As for you evading the change, I think it's more about you discovering this potential for change.

As for your flip-flopping, I thought as much was possible/common.

Yeah I'll definitely have to monitor myself and do some reflection.

 

[onesteptwostep]

I'd second Pyro.

As long as you're not faced with overwhelming stress or a threat of a burnout, I think in the end the entire session would be of help. I've had several experiences with periods of forced extroversion and the burnout phase wasn't exactly pretty. It could just be me or a general INTP thing, but yeah.

This would seem like a benefit, to many, especially for extroverts, however I've come to consciously value my relationship with myself / my thoughts on a greater level than I had before.

This I would say I would resonate with. Some people are just more developed in their extroversion, I think. (<- Ha, "I think", classic way to imply your own introversion.. ^^)

 

[Happy]

My life just feels sort of empty ATM. (If I could find a less whiny way to put it, I would)

I reckon this could be the source of your becoming more extroverted. I say this because I'm experiencing something similar at the moment.

I've just finished one of my life's major goals and while I was working towards it, I went pure introvert. Nothing in the world mattered to me except my work.
Since the completion of this goal, I've become far more extroverted than ever before. I am consistently looking for social situations and thriving in them the way an extrovert would (but then I need to recharge alone, sometimes for longer than usual). I'm even feeling excited about getting together with people, which is an all new sensation. I think it's just my self trying to restore some balance by overindulging in what it's been denied for quite some time now. But it could be a different thing altogether. I don't know.

Like you, I've not experienced this before, so I'm curious to see if there is any reversion or if this is a new me. Perhaps I shall keep you posted.
I certainly don't see it as a bad thing though. For me or for you.

May I ask - is this period in your life that follows a period of intense introversion?

 

[DrSketchpad]

@Happy

Clarification: While I am a bit more extroverted traditionally (socially) I mean in the more general sense as well (focusing on the outside, objective world and its dealings with the consequence of subdued personal input/reflection).

Although I think it's a type thing as well. After some personal work (thinking), you started dealing with people oriented situations more (feeling).

For me, to answer your question, I've been in a position that allowed a comfortable amount of isolation. Other people and the outside world could take a backseat and everything would be fine without me. Now, I have to deal with more people and the implied responsibilities of that. I guess you could say yes in a way. Though intense introversion, I think, would be relatively misleading in the context of my life. To clarify / answer more, I wouldn't say it's like a consequence of less introversion, but that more forced extroversion leaves less room for introversion.