ISFP and Social Chameleonism

[Jordan~]

So, I now know that I know two ISFPs, my mother and a friend, who I had always been sure were ESFP before. Talking to them, I realise that they're not actually extraverted, they just put up facades - much like many of us report doing - and do so very convincingly. Knowing these two people, I would never guess - and I don't think anyone else would, either - that they prefer the company of a few friends or being on their own to the company of a large group of people. Admittedly, one of them I don't know so well (the friend), but with my mother it makes a lot of sense, and some things sort of fall into place.

I'm wondering if this is a feature of the type, or if I just know two odd ones. Does anyone else know any ISFPs they've mistyped?

 

[Perseus]

Beware, ISFPs are like Cats. Faithfulness is just a temporary state of things.

 

[Jordan~]

This is exactly what I thought about the one who isn't bound to me by her motherly instincts.

 

[Devercia]

I can't help but agree. My brother is an ISFP. As soon as he attained economic independence, I went from seeing him daily for hours to once a fortnight for an hour, and I live in the same house.

His girlfriends (the s is not a typo) seem to be drawn to him for mystery. All who know him agree as soon as they know him well they will lose interest, and he will seek someone else to superficially associate with before not showing for the engagements he promises to attend.

My Dad is also ISFP, but he is quite old and in possession of his id rather then being ruled by it, relatively speaking. The man would still take a roadtrip to Canada just to look at a car he might also bye on a whim, with the thousands of dollars he carries on his person at any given time, just in case. All despite that oven he has been neededing... but who cares about that.

I don't hold it against either of them, its just odd to me.

 

[zxc]

My mother is an ISFP I think... It's rather difficult to judge the I, S and P part. Jordan~'s description does sound much like my mother, so perhaps she really is an ISFP. She doesn't seem to have a problem with talking to people all the time, but she gets nearly 100% on introversion in MBTI tests, which never fail to astound me.

 

[watermelon]

This is a bit old, but I beg to differ!

I myself am ISFP, and I've noticed that there are tendencies in me to flee attention and avoid drawing attention, but it can't really be helped that we are extremely private wanderers. We do tend to live in the moment, and planning is definitely a weakness of ours, but it doesn't mean we don't care! I think it depends on degree of how extroverted we are, because the more extroverted, the more it can be easy to give off fake vibes (this is my way of trying to make sense of what you mean by "like cats").

However, we also have much wholesome care when it comes to people, and we want to be liked. This clashes very much with our natural disposition, so we usually have to be approached first, again and again, and we appreciate it when people do, even though we STILL get the feeling to run away sometimes. It's almost like being a walking contradiction.

We can be quite sensitive and take words to heart, so sometimes we feel slightly threatened with the high demands in human relationships, and turn to animals and children for our child-like love. We ARE secretive and intense, and that's how we feel our emotions, it's VERY hard to be expressive of appreciation where it's due. We feel that compliments are a light and superficial form of maintaining relationships. We're not comfortable receiving them, and don't gush others with them either unless it's the way to save from awkwardness and maintain harmony. We love making people happy, but we are not touchy nor wordy, but if comfortable enough, we'll surrender ourselves to you and hope that you honor that. As I read in another forum for INFPs once, but I thought is very applicable to ISFPs too:

"Its hard especially if you want to keep a good relationship with them. We live and die on being understood, especially when it comes to advice - misunderstand me and I won't give you the opportunity to misunderstand me a second time. Me opening up to you is a privilege I let you indulge in to form a stronger relationship - don't abuse it. "

We are not light hearted. Rather, (speaking for myself), we extremely conscious and aware of our feelings and others, and don't like to stand out, so we try to go with teh flow of things. We'll reflect your moods, personalities, enthusiasm, anything, unless we feel our beliefs or values are threatened.

--for the record, my next closest type is INFP, so maybe that's why I cannot relate with previous descriptions, but I truly believe ISFPs are not what people make them out to be --

 

[cheese]

I sound like an ISFP from the above descriptions.

 

[Weliddryn]

My description of my ISFP friend:

She is reluctant to display emotion on most occasions, typically having a look of peaceful observance (if that makes sense). However, she cried in school more then once on account of some (in my opinion) very minor things, unable to hold it inside. She is very sensitive.

She is very impulsive and lives in the moment, but cares deeply and passionately about tragedy and the like, able to add a vehemence to her voice that would take most aback by its intensity. This does not last long, however, as she will begin to think of another topic (she is very quiet, though not so quiet as I).

She has a wider range of friends then I could imagine keeping up with, though she only considers very few to be close (still more then I can imagine) and has been dating since fourteen, maybe? (I am terrible with dates/ages, apologies) and only one (the current one) has a kind of depth that is rare to most relationships in my area. This proves her capability of finding and maintaining deep relationships, at least for a time.

She is honest, acknowledging her need to be liked and accepted (sadly, she was accepted by very few) but cannot seem to stop being herself- distant, bright, and slightly on the fantastical side. She can adapt well to many situations, but she maintains an identity of her own. She's simply very adaptive, passive and open minded.

Whilst speaking of theory or abstract ideas, she immediately gets her "Oh, boy. Not this again" look on her face and tunes me out, making it clear that it, quite frankly, does not interest her. She provides no feedback, simply saying how I need to stop talking like "smart people." She doubts her own intelligence, though she is definitely intelligent.

A social chameleon? Perhaps, but she does have her own identity.
"Go with the flow" describes her well. She lives life for the experiences and if she is unable to satisfy her impulses she becomes anxious and filled with malcontent. She needs a certain level of freedom.

 

[cheese]

That sounds nothing like me. Good.

 

[chocolate]

ISFPs are awesome!

My sister is an ISFP so I have an edge in being her friend, but I have noticed that if she decides she doesn't like someone (which is always because of something they did to make her feel bad), that's it. I have also noticed she tends to like people she shouldn't because she doesn't see how mean they are (but she won't listen to my N predictions!). On the other hand, she gets bad vibes about people that I don't see and then my NT won't listen to those. But we're starting to make use of each other more. She is enviably sincere and true to herself. I think she knows who she is better than me say.

Re. theories: although she's very intelligent and able to follow abstraction (and keeps intriguing me with fascinating viewpoints), abstraction isn't her favourite place to be. She likes to live in the world doing real things and making a real difference (she likes art and science), and she's very here and now. She tells me that thinking about the future gives her a headache! (I'm sort of like her N resource -- and she's my F resource ).

She always wants to have fun and hates being rushed.

 

[sarin]

This isn't a particularly helpful bit of information, in terms of it's ability to answer Jordan's question. But I think I just discovered that my guy is an ISFP. I'm an INTP. I love abstract thinking and conceptualization. This could be bad.

But ISFPs are so interesting!