Is something wrong with me?

[cyberdream]

is it normal for me to be depressed?
is it normal to have extreme mood swings ?
i'm constantly thinking , about my future , about my job , about everything
im always thinking about my future and how i need to be rich to avoid working for people
because i just can't handle people ..

Is it normal that nothing interest me other than weird and strange topics ?
why im always so quiet ?
Why i feel cold and emotionless ?
is something wrong with me ? i have been like this my whole life.

I studied psychology , religions , consciousness and everything to figure out my self to know how to live ? but nothing changes except my mind that just gets more useless information that make my life more complicated..

I never went to psychologist because i can't accept the fact of paying someone to help me with something mentally , i always tried to fix it on my own ..

I took some medication called lyrica few months ago .. it works on gabapentin.. it made me feel alot better , removed my anxiety and removed the stone in my chest ..

does that mean there is something wrong with me ? should i see a doctor , its just my personality ?

is this something curable ?
its not like im depressed , i don't even know whats not depressed mean
it become normal to me , its hard for me to get excited for anything.

i move from relationship to another because i lose interest so fast , i feel ashamed of saying this , but i seem like an angel to girls at first .. but few weeks later i get bored and i don't care if they leave me .. and the relationship ends so cold like it never happened , and i dont care ..

I have suffered my whole life to the point where i just can't feel , or numbed my feelings ?

i'm creative person , i have a brilliant mind , i always impress people in the first few conversations until i get bored and never talk to them again .. i don't do it on purpose.

what should i do ? i have tried everything in my life

 

[Vrecknidj]

I don't know you and so I can't say what's normal for you. But, being depressed isn't a normal state. It's not an uncommon one, unfortunately, but it's not normal (in the sense of psychologically healthy). The same is true of extreme mood swings.

Most people won't be rich (a derivative of the basic tenets of economics plus living in a country that emphasizes narcissistic perspectives and capitalism), so, unless something remarkable happens for you, you'll have to spend almost all of your adult life working in order to function reasonably well in society.

You said that you studied psychology, religion and the like. But, I don't know how old you are, how thoroughly you've studied these things (or for how many decades), etc.

If you had a heart condition, I assume you'd see a heart doctor because you probably couldn't fix it on your own. There's no reason to think that you can fix psychological issues on your own.

If a medicine helps you to feel better, why would that be a bad thing? Someone with diabetes takes insulin and feels better.

You say you move quickly from one relationship to another. Again, I don't know you, but my universal recommendation for people is this: spend a few years developing a relationship with yourself. Once you get yourself together, relationships with others will be better.

What should you do? Keep trying.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

How old are you?

 

[Sinny91]

Hey OP... You just described most of my negative qualities..
Not the wierd topics tho, cuz I pride myself in that

It's all about finding inner balance.
You can't please everyone in the world, but you can sure as hell piss em off haha.

 

[RaBind]

Spoiler

is it normal for me to be depressed?

Please say more about what your situation is.

is it normal to have extreme mood swings ?

It depends on how frequently? how drastic are the changes? and do they occur for no apparent reason or are you acutely aware why they occur?

I studied psychology , religions , consciousness and everything to figure out my self to know how to live ? but nothing changes except my mind that just gets more useless information that make my life more complicated..

i'm constantly thinking , about my future , about my job , about everything. im always thinking about my future and how i need to be rich to avoid working for people because i just can't handle people ..

Yeah... please say more about your situation and, crucial to this bit, how old you are.

Is it normal that nothing interest me other than weird and strange topics ?

Intps are know for this I believe. Even if you aren't an intp, there's not much wrong in being eccentric.

why im always so quiet ?

Do you have something to say? if so why do you stop yourself from voicing your opinions?

I myself choose to be quiet sometimes, because what I have to say is hard to verbally express and I'm simply not willing to put so much effort into a conversation that I feel won't likely go anywhere.

Why i feel cold and emotionless ?

This is relatable trait, to many people, but it depends on how severe this feeling is.

is something wrong with me ? i have been like this my whole life.

You seem to have quite a bit of insecurities, but most of them are common ones.

I never went to psychologist because i can't accept the fact of paying someone to help me with something mentally , i always tried to fix it on my own ..

Yeah, my dad once suggested that I go to a psychologist, because at that time I was having uncontrollable bursts of anger and panic attacks very frequently.

I'm pretty sure I altered my behavior a bit just due to the suggestion, because I was scared of being labeled and stigmatized, more so by myself then anyone. I'm quite egotistical like that.

I took some medication called lyrica few months ago .. it works on gabapentin.. it made me feel alot better , removed my anxiety and removed the stone in my chest ..

I'm not really in support of self medication, probably more so when you fear that there's something psychological, affecting your mind, that needs to be medicated in the first place.

does that mean there is something wrong with me ? should i see a doctor , its just my personality ?

Drugs have effects on everyone not just those who have something that needs medicating. Physiology isn't like maths. You probably should see a professional, instead of attempting to experiment on your body, cause I'm thinking that you wouldn't need to be experimenting if you knew what you were doing.

is this something curable ? its not like im depressed , i don't even know whats not depressed mean
it become normal to me , its hard for me to get excited for anything.

Yeah that's somewhat relatable, but again see a professional if you have worries. You know it might actually be normal, then at least you'll get some closure, and if there is something you should've gone to a professional for, then you should be glad that's what you did.

i move from relationship to another because i lose interest so fast , i feel ashamed of saying this , but i seem like an angel to girls at first .. but few weeks later i get bored and i don't care if they leave me .. and the relationship ends so cold like it never happened , and i dont care ..

I myself don't feel that I'd be ready for a serious relationship, and knowing that is legit. There's nothing wrong about it or anything. It's just a matter of how much personal growth you've been though, and how much more progress/potential you see in yourself.

I have suffered my whole life to the point where i just can't feel , or numbed my feelings ?

Can't say. Tell more about your situation.

i'm creative person , i have a brilliant mind , i always impress people in the first few conversations until i get bored and never talk to them again .. i don't do it on purpose.

So you know you definitely have positive traits that can be nurtured and grown.

what should i do ? i have tried everything in my life

My post can pretty much be summed up as it seems to me that you're stuck in your own head. I hope that's not offensive, but it can be a stifling situation to find yourself in. Maybe get some perspective on your situation and the situation of those around you? Attempt to detach from and observe your mindset? Sounds to me like you just need more clarity in your life. Stop thinking about fears and worries that don't matter as much to you so you can focus more on what does matter to you, and figuring this out is a matter of observing yourself and your mindset.

I'm not say all that to you as a person who's got it all figured out. I have my own things that I lose perspective obsessing about, and most of the times they are about me, my reality and everything that effects it. So there's certainly quite a bit of your inquiries that are pretty normal.

The things you are medicating yourself for though are things you probably should see a professional about, even just to be assured that they aren't severe problems.

 

[RicBC]

Check out "Strictly INTP" playlist by Tomacity(Rast) on YouTube.

Furthermore check out the relationship between addiction desire and dopamine would be nice to get a glance on how robotic one becomes if not aware of the mind mechanic pre-programmed nature.
There is some info about it in some sites and videos.

 

[crippli]

I took some medication called lyrica few months ago .. it works on gabapentin.. it made me feel alot better , removed my anxiety and removed the stone in my chest ..

does that mean there is something wrong with me ? should i see a doctor , its just my personality ?

is this something curable ?

Doesn't alcohol also do the same to most people? One feels better? As I would think drugs will do as well.

I think this is quite normal, perhaps except if one feel exceptionally well when not intoxicated. Maybe then it will be the other way around when wasted

Why have you suffered your whole life? maybe we should start with that.

Going to a psycologist can be good for you. When you have suffered so much, there can be good reasons for it. If so, the psychologist have the power, although not quite exclusively, to secure you decently financially the rest of your life.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Settle down now, sounds pretty normal, maybe wait until after high school and see how things go? There's a lot of that there. Life is filled with highs and lows, like a wave. You mostly just have to wait it out but don't take my word for it. You will find things you are into and immerse yourself in them to make you slightly happier. It can be hard. You have to focus more on the now and make it so the future has a good outcome from it.

Drugs and medications are alright, pretty soon you'll probably get a tolerance then it won't help as much but I'm glad to see that you found some aid there. You don't really need them unless you're really bored and want to give in to an urge. At this stage maybe seeing a psychiatrist can help, or any decently wise enough person to spend a little time with

But in short you might want to get used to it and abuse substances occasionally to break the mold.

 

[Pizzabeak]

You have to determine whether something is a valuable use of time or not. What I meant to say was adding a little exercise to your daily/weekly routine can be beneficial in some regard.

 

[Sina89]

first excuse me for my weak english. i think if you are depressed, you have to do something about it. if you are an INTP, its normal to be interested in different thing than most of people, and to be different in many ways. but its not normal to have negative feeiling around you all the time. we INTPs are not so good at managing our emotional life and we need help on it. as an INTP i related to most of what you described in the post, its like i have experienced most of those qualities you mentioned. i think psycotherapy can only help you with your negative habits but you cannot expect a psychologist to operate on your mind like a surgeon. for me going to a psychiatrist and taking medication was life saver, it changed my life like i have been always in a futile loop of negative thoughts. something that i was always struggling with like a complicated problem, but actually was something simple. it slowly faded away with just taking medications.

 

[tonester]

You mention you've studied 'consciousness'. By this you mean mindfulness? I found this helped immensely. I think we INTPs have very busy minds and by calming them you start to see things in new light. Our default state with no clouded emotions and thoughts is actually a pretty happy one once you find it. You appreciate small beauties and become less self absorbed and selfish. You can take a step back from situations and not get so caught up in them.

I also think a little bit of delusion is helpful. Don't always see things and outcomes in a logical way. My old self would probably sneer at this but treat every situation with passion and look at things from the point of optimism and curiosity.