IRL... do people like you or not?

[theanonymous]

Generally speaking, do you (as an INTP) find that people easily like you upon meeting you? Do people want to be your friend after hanging out for the first time?

Personally, I've found often that I do not want anything to do with the vast majority of people I meet unless they have information to share or practical knowledge to sift through. But it's starting to seem as though the less interest I have in others (not shown in a mean way, just blank expression way), the more interest they have in me.

What's the case for you guys?

 

[Pyropyro]

People easily like me but I prefer to hang out with my close friends. Maybe it's a Filipino thing but we tend to bond with people while eating lunch or dinner together.

Being simply aloof or acting aloof is attractive for the wrong reasons. If you attract people who have self-esteem issues on fear of rejection/abandonment which are not exactly friend material.

 

[theanonymous]

They don't seem to be attracted because of self esteem issues but more so for, this person doesn't care but I think I can win them over or they must be interesting if they aren't saying anything type of ways.

 

[Pyropyro]

They don't seem to be attracted because of self esteem issues but more so for, this person doesn't care but I think I can win them over or they must be interesting if they aren't saying anything type of ways.

That's basically what people who have low self-esteem who want to prove that they can't be rejected by these aloof people would try to do.

 

[Shieru]

Personally, I've found often that I do not want anything to do with the vast majority of people I meet

^ this.

it's funny for me. i've gotten a lot of criticism from people for being the weird INTP i am, so i tend to avoid people whenever possible. i'm good at being invisible

a lot of the time when i end up engaging in conversation though, the other person tends to be very open with me. things go deep fast, except in cases where our personalities clash especially severely, or the other person is closed off too. but it's like, even before we exchange names, they're telling me about their darkest secrets and personal problems. i listen and try to help them figure things out. this type of conversation is enjoyable to me; even though i might be afraid of people, i actually find the authentic thoughts and feelings of others fascinating. psychoanalysis is fun ^^

but um.. i tend to be socially awkward. i'm not very confident, and have such little intrinsic emotional energy that i tire out fairly quickly. i also don't easily open up to other people, even though they do so with me. all this makes it so most conversations taper off and we go our separate ways after the first meeting. sometimes the other person will be aggressive though, and insist on exchanging info so they can contact me again. oddly, i get more marriage proposals than offers for friendship 0.o either way, forcefulness is repellent to me, so i'll usually avoid such people.

 

[The Gopher]

When I'm being an INTP I get along with people fine, when I'm being an INTJ people do what pyro said and try to get my attention. When I'm being an INFP people generally like me. When I'm being an ENTP people think I'm weird or if I'm online sometimes even funny.

Now I'm not changing type more mood/attitude however it's a simple way of putting it.

 

[Lot]

Most people love me. I'm honest with who I am and nice, normally polite. Customers at work only need to spend a small amount of time with me, before they get to the point that they would rather work with me than other people. My coworkers like how helpful I am, and usually like my quirks. I've had, maybe two managers, over the years, that didn't like me. Most of the others have turned me into a confidant.

If I go to a bar with some friends and we start hanging out with strangers, I tend to make friends with them easily. I have lots of interests, so I can usually find something to talk to them about. I'm also honest with who I am to them, and if they don't like me , they can go elsewhere. Which they do. Some people are lame

It may seem arrogant, but in general people just like me, cause I'm awesome. My parents socialized me right

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

People love me. Apparently I'm super charming or something.

But granted, I don't really do too much of the "aloof and disinterested" act.

 

[Hadoblado]

If I'm in high spirits I tend to make friends. If I'm not, I don't (though I'm not looking to).

Another big factor is whether I'm with friends to begin with or not. This impacts on my sociality, but also tends to signal that I have social value when otherwise this wouldn't be picked up. Even having one person from the squad along makes a really big difference in how much people seek to interact with me. I think I might come off as unapproachable otherwise, though I'm trying not to project that so much these days.

 

[PmjPmj]

My closest friend (INTP) can be very charming / warm toward people. I've often commented on how effortless it seems to come to him. Internally (of course) he's much the same as a typical NT: 'I'm smiling at you and being cordial, but please GTFO ASAP'.

When it comes to definite INTPs, I've probably only interacted with a few. All have been warm and easy to talk to, though. xNTPs are, in my experience, a great deal more approachable than xNTJs. That isn't to say that xNTJs aren't approachable, but er...

Yeah.

 

[Niclmaki]

I can make people like me if that's what I want. I mean, I can be very charming.

On the other hand, I can push people away rather eloquently as well, and they will generally back off.

My normal demeanour is "aristocratic" I'm told. I'm not sure if that is liked or not. I assume not, it seems to put people on edge.

 

[Cognisant]

Irl people like me in the sense that I'm easy to get along with, I'm the bread of the social sandwich in that I'm bland but I go with everything.

There are a select few people I'm comfortable being myself around.

 

[theanonymous]

Since the word has been tossed around a few times, I feel like I should explain that I don't act aloof (withdrawn specifically with distaste), just... withdrawn. I think rarely people know that I don't like many people (ie distaste) but I just don't speak out unless people ask something directly. And I get bored of talking about myself so I answer things as quickly as possible (unnnnlike my forum presence clearly). And I do very much have interest and openness towards others on an intellectual level (ie what's this person think "normal" is and why?) but I'd rather hear about them until I know them then just stop. Long term they can get bland unless they are pretty awesome... Then I really like them and they are my friend.

When I'm being an ENTP people think I'm weird or if I'm online sometimes even funny.

Strange, I've always found ENTPs to be quite the social butterfly. Well versed in pretty much anything and enjoying the social game.

It's early and I'm babbling. On a positive and equally self absorbed note (where's the puking emoji?), I made it around the sun once again...! *hums happy birthday*

 

[redbaron]

Depends on the person!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rixus]

The easy answer would be to say, "no. People do not." But it's more complicated than that and is not entirely true. I do, and have always, gotten a lot of negative reactions from people I don't really know. Like they take an instant dislike to me. I'm pretty sure these are mostly from ES types. I also think there's a degree of confirmation affirmation with this - happens occasionally and proves proves it happens all the time.

Otherwise, most people find it difficult to get to know me. I've been told it's hard to tell if I'm shy or ignorant and that makes people either assume I lack confidence and therefore require pep talking, or just take a dislike. When I've asked someone who knows me well, they say it's just that most don't understand me. The answer was (exact words), "you're not unfriendly just you always seem a bit uncomfortable with new people plus your lack of emotion and high intellect (which most people struggle to understand) often makes you appear unfriendly but once you get to know people you are very friendly."

Professionally, sometimes I get this dislike thing from customers. Sometimes they say I did exactly what they needed, but didn't seem enthusiastic enough for them to feel as though I wanted to (I don't get this - If I'm a customer I'd rather just do as I need and go away), but apparently most co-workers think I'm the helpful one. If you're stuck, I'll always have the answer be able to help. So I think they just tolerate me because of my usefulness, but that's the lack of self confidence talking.

 

[Rixus]

Strange, I've always found ENTPs to be quite the social butterfly. Well versed in pretty much anything and enjoying the social game.

It's early and I'm babbling. On a positive and equally self absorbed note (where's the puking emoji?), I made it around the sun once again...! *hums happy birthday*

I actually get on fine with ENTP's and ENTJ's. I like them.

And Happy birthday. The emotes are on the right - can't you see those green looking dudes.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

They like me, but usually we have so little in common that there's no inclination to deepen the relationship. Getting along is very simple to achieve, but sometimes there's no point to it.

Most of the time people initially stereotype me as the 'genius' which creates a distance that's very difficult to bridge and it's very energy-consuming on my part to improve their initial impression.

I try to be down-to-earth and use lots of self-deprecating humor to help them view me as more approachable and human, with varying degrees of success.

I've met more than 50 new people over the last 6 months and it's not until very recently that some 80% of them started actively "recognising" me or initiating friendly contact out of their own accord, in the initial months most of them acted shy or reserved.

 

[theanonymous]

They like me, but usually we have so little in common that there's no inclination to deepen the relationship. Getting along is very simple to achieve, but sometimes there's no point to it.

Yes, for me this is also very true. Often it's that I can relate and be a good friend to them because I know what they are talking about and I can morph accordingly... but very few people can reciprocate. At least it seems that way per my experience so far.

 

[Jennywocky]

I'm normally a bit invisible / don't necessarily interact with strangers, but if someone engages me, I'm accessible and easy to get along with. Mostly I mold myself to engage whoever I am with, and at worst I just don't engage versus picking fights or getting abrasive with people. (I save abrasiveness for my already-friends. ) My two modes are either withdrawal or compliance / finding common ground.

I'm a bit more confrontational online, or at least blunt / less interested in meshing.

 

[Architect]

AFAIK people like me but it depends. A lot of strong S types don't like it when I go deep (Ti) or ideate too much (Ne), but I'll get bored if I'm not doing either. I spent so many years adapting to the "Realistic way of socializing" that dominant S types prefer that I don't have much appetite for it now. So it's some kind of middle ground at best.

Hard to tell if others like any of what I offer. The many S's just seem to like proximity, conformity and history which I suck at. I could be a mannequin and they'd be happy with it, as long as I was a reliable mannequin. My son has managed to find a group of intuitive friends who seem to like me. I play video games with them, send them memes and such so it's not so much Dad mode as far as I can tell.

My best friend is an ISFP who appreciates my quirkiness (which is why we're friends).

 

[2babylon]

I've gotten the impression people like me. I try not to think about it. I'd rather be more invisible than I am. I'm not bad in social situations and can sound witty and smart and funny. I don't like light chatting though.

 

[Happy]

In most cases, I'm well liked. I have a very likeable IRL persona, or so people say.

I think people are just drawn to my eccentricity. Then they stick around once they see that I'm a really decent dude.

I imagine that's typical to ENTPs.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

i'm pretty easy to get along with and tend to like most people (unless they're in power)

i have hardly any friends though because i tend to go crazy and alienate myself

 

[kittyninja]

people like me when I'm nice (obviously) I try not to start conflicts but people tend to be surprised when I actually let go a bit and they find out I am quite sarcastic most times

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

 

[Deleted member 1424]

I must unintentionally have a pretty good initial impression. I get 'deared,' 'honeyed,' and 'sweethearted' by both sexes so much that it makes me nauseous. I've truly come to treasure the awkwardly stuttered 'ma'ams.'

Most of my social methods are designed to get people to not talk to me without actually offending them, especially at my predominantly male workplace. I achieve this in part by constantly looking preoccupied with something important. I'm not intentionally not talking to them; I'm just busy and it's usually true. No hard feelings to be had.

I have good relationships with all the people that actually matter to me, but I'm not good at making new meaningful relationships. I have a warm center somewhere, but there is a lot of ice to get through and like you said most people don't seem to be worth the time. I'm definitely more fun in one-on-one or small group interactions than larger affairs. I am trying to reach out a little more lately though.

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

Most ppl don't like me, even if I try to like them. I don't care about the others so none care about me. I feel quite comfortable in this state but I lack a few good friends.

 

[birdsnestfern]

Only those that I work with day in and day out and are close to me. Its like, my impression might not be as open or warm to people as it should be, but anyone who really knows me learns that over time, I am extremely reliable, helpful, non-judgemental, and fair. As people get to know me, they love me. But...I don't let people in easily. My barriers are a fortress pretty much, if I let you in, its unusual. Probably the answer is no, not everyone likes me.

But its also true that I have more sociable days and less sociable days. I have an innate fear of people I think. Always have.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Issues aside, I just don't know why certain people like me and some don't.
Its like I don't have any control over who likes me or not.
I prefer people make up their own damn minds about it anyway.

There is few people that dislike me, but if things go south often I think its my fault.
I generally like people.

My barriers are a fortress pretty much

That is me.

 

[Black Rose]

Grumpy people don't like me.

 

[Old Things]

Hard to say. Some people really like me a lot. Some people would make fun of me.

One guy from my apartment complex keeps keying my car (which I cannot prove), so I guess you could say he's not a fan. Other than him, I get along with pretty much everyone else at my apartment complex. I suppose it helps if you are trying to help other people. Hold the door open for them, listen to them complain, etc. I just avoid some people because I think they are trouble. I will still say hi to them or whatever, but that is about as far as I want it to go.