INTP's and crying

[TruthSeeker]

I cry a lot for a male...especially an INTP male.

It's pretty erratic for me. But generally I cry about twice every month.

I actually like crying. I like reveling in my emotions, especially bittersweet ones...I'm definitely a T; I find talking about them and attempting to understand them exhausting (if interesting and very rewarding), but I see them as being part of the wonderful richness of life, and crying lets me sort them out in the more subconscious, inarticulate way I'm comfortable with..

Okay, so my sig is gonna seem sort of hypocritical after this, but whatever.

 

[Donovitch]

over the past 10 years maybe a handul of times- including a painful break-up and my mother getting cancer- it isn't that I don't feel- I just don't let it rule me

 

[Lobstrich]

There isn't any other way to talking to a kid that doesn't understand they are immature through the internet but telling them that they'll some day figure it out. You can't have them read a post and mature. It comes with life.

Also, it is getting tiring to watch you type words that you can't spell. The fact that you are 42 doesn't mean anything. Maturity can come with age, but it can also not come. Depends on how we deal with life.

From what I can see of you I wouldn't say you seem like much of an adult in my opinion, but I would think even you agree that calling people who allow themselves to cry even thought the world isn't ending "hypocritical weak bitches" is a silly and immature statement.

Perhaps not, but my idea of an adult isn't someone who has a ballet sumo dancer as a picture representing themselves and uses tags such as "peeing on the carpet" and "kicking your ass behind you".

I would also rather lament your presence on this forums, I would be more inclined to discuss with men who have responsibilities in life and to fulfill them present themselves in a respectable way. Are you married? Do you have kids? What do you think your hypothetical kids would think if they knew their father went around in forums like this?

Man, be whoever you wanna be, it's not my place to tell you how to act, but I don't think you act like an adult. Live your life and keep doing it all, but yea that's not quite my definition of the concept. But if it's working out fine for you, then keep it right up. I've read some stuff by you that has bothered me but nothing like what this kid goes around saying.

The alternative way to dealing with the kid is what Beat Mango did by saying "oh dear" but somehow i'm afraid that doesn't quite get through them.

Ah, the ignorance..

You should consider entertainment. You're quite hilarious.

 

[Lobstrich]

I agree with this because --> Link <3

It's too easy getting stuck in a "life is serious" rut

Man! Nice comic! Made me smile and laugh. (Don't know if that's the right combination?)

 

[SpaceYeti]

I cry a lot for a male...especially an INTP male.

It's pretty erratic for me. But generally I cry about twice every month.

I actually like crying. I like reveling in my emotions, especially bittersweet ones...I'm definitely a T; I find talking about them and attempting to understand them exhausting (if interesting and very rewarding), but I see them as being part of the wonderful richness of life, and crying lets me sort them out in the more subconscious, inarticulate way I'm comfortable with..

Okay, so my sig is gonna seem sort of hypocritical after this, but whatever.

In the past year, I could probably count the number of times I've cried on one hand. Though, I do appreciate when I actually do. I feel much better afterwords.

 

[vavel7]

please tell me you're kidding, words. please dear god tell me you're kidding.



i don't cry all that frequently. it used to be i didn't cry at all. i didn't let myself.
nowadays i'm more inclined to let the waterworks go when it feels right. (ie, when i'm alone in my room after spending several days without much human contact and a lot of pessimistic introspection.)
and often i find myself wishing i would cry more often. it serves a purpose.

Ahhh! So I'm not the only one thank God! The worst thing is when I'm conforted with someone else crying... It's soo awkard, especially if it's someone that I care about, I just sit there cold mumbling incosistencies... I feel that sometimes people expect from me as a woman to be comfortable with the whole "crying", "showing emotions" staff... Yes, crying help "when i'm alone in my room after spending several days without much human contact and a lot of pessimistic introspection" (always in a foetal position underneath my blanket...). The fact that I'm a natural optimistic person has really saved me I have to admit though.

 

[kazd362]

I tend to cry but only alone, and then I replay the day, going through the worst bits so that the mood lasts longer, but I never ever cry in front of others

 

[eccentriceclectic]

As an INTP, I tend to ignore my emotions...or simply be unaware of them if they aren't overwhelming. Tending to my feelings is like doing laundry - sometimes if I make the effort, I can stay on top of it, but it's really easy to just let a month go by without washing a single shirt. I find a lot of the time, I bottle the stress that builds from my frustrations with the world, and it sort of spouts forth uncontrollably during the drive home or while doing something that involves an emotional trigger: watching a movie, listening to a song, etc.

I also find that I WILL NOT cry in a situation when people are expecting me to cry or, in a way, ordering me to express my feelings. I've never cried at a funeral. When I have serious or emotionally stressful "talks" with a lover/relative during which I know I am upset, I find it incredibly hard to open up or "let things out" as my partner/relative has instructed me to do, saying that it would make me feel better. I find this is related to being an INTP since I am stubborn to being pushed into emotional adventures that other deem is important or crucial to my mental health. If I came to the conclusion that crying at that point was logical or would aid the situation in any way, I would. However, I rarely come to that conclusion.

 

[DesertSmeagle]

I havent cried since.....5th grade 6th grade maybe? ive tried to cried and find sad things but i just cant....ya i dont cry in situations where im expected to cry either. Like funerals. I dont get funerals and being sad. If the funeral is mostly religious why would you cry that one is going to Heaven?..The only emotions i rely feel are guilt and anxiety..It really sucks. Theres obviously a correlation between intps and depression...but it also could be an outside force like society that causes you to become both an intp and depression...learned that correlation cause and effect shit in psych class...oh yeea.

If anyone has any suggestions on things that will make me cry, please tell me. Ive found the saddest music i can find.
YouTube- Moby - JLTF
It doesnt exactly bring tears in my eyes, but it does create emotion in me to an extent.
My mom and sister are the opposite of me. My mom is the most sensitive person on earth, and my sister who is 16 just went to see Justin BEAVER. she took pictures of him and she was crying while looking at the pictures..she was also crying and screaming at the concert..I dont understand how a famous person can get you so excited and make u cry...... pathetic

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

I cant say for sure exactly how many times i have cryed in the past few years but i can account for a few situations i know i have. First being when my girlfriend comes to stay (long distance relationship, 4 hours, ISFJ but yeah) when she leaves an i know i wont see her for a long time i pretty much cant conrtol myself and dont have any intention to, the one time i had to pick up my step father from a meeting he was having at the public library after she had just left. I cant imagine what the people in the library were thinking when they saw me, i look odd enough as is, without my entire face covered in tears, it was so bad i didnt even bother wiping my face, it would have just been an uphill battle. Anyway, that accounts for a few times, maybe 3 or 4 different times, seperated by many months though. The other situation being the time after a good friend of mine was hit and killed in a car accident in late november of last year. It amazes me how sensetive i was after that, and for how long it lasted. Even now i can get to the point where i feel like i could cry when i spend time reflecting back on my friend.

Now, aside from that, i can compare my other experiences with what a lot of people have said, that they pretty much cant cry at times when they feel it would be right. For example, when my grandmother died, i overheard my mom on the phone when she was being told, and the first thought that came to my mind was that it was expected. Even at the funeral, my mom, my brothers, and all of my aunts and uncles except one, were all crying, i even remember how amazing it was to me that i could stand in a room of crying people and be so oblivious.

Annnnnd last thing, i promise. In a lot of the INTP descriptions, they say that we are prone to cry. Just thought that was interesting

 

[Trebuchet]

I dont get funerals and being sad. If the funeral is mostly religious why would you cry that one is going to Heaven?..

It doesn't have to be religious at all. A funeral is a chance to get together with other bereaved people and acknowledge the loss and celebrate the person. Atheists attend funerals. You can believe the person will be reincarnated and still attend a funeral and miss the person.

There isn't much point for me to go to a funeral for a coworker or distant relative I barely knew, except to make other people happy. But if I can't go to a funeral for a good friend or close relative that mattered to me, it leaves an empty place. Going actually helps make me feel better, even if I always do cry. Or maybe because I do cry, though I have to admit I do fight the tears.

 

[DesertSmeagle]

hmm. i just watched saving private ryan and its like the best movie ever made..I guess the end makes me almost cry..it gets me to that point where your feel like you can cry, but it just wont come out...so ya. i suppose some movies could make me cry...but none have done so yet.

 

[nexion]

I probably cry every few weeks. When I think about it, it just seems retarded, but...

Whenever I do cry, it may be for good reason, or for no reason at all. it is nice though; good for the soul. There are times when I actively pursue such things: depressive music and the like. The last time I cried was at the PM you sent me Puffy.

I could swear that major drops in barometric pressure make me more emotional, because almost every time a perfectly clear sky with rather high barometric pressure becomes darkened and stormy with a sudden dramatic change in barometric, I am either extremely emotional or I cry.

 

[DesertSmeagle]

Your lucky. I wish i could cry. I actually love the rain. It eases everything for me..Its realy strange. I love darkness haha..Not in a satanic or emo kinda way. I just feel more relaxed in the evening especially when its dark and rainy. I wish i could go to school at night.

My life is so negative..shit..im suprised Im not crying everyday. Im not even poor or starving or anything. And everytime i think about how depressing my life is i think about people who are living in sheds with nothing to eat or anything and how i dont have the right to feel depressed. And then i feel like an asshole...shit..I would trade all of the shit i have to not feel depression or anxiety anymore. Im not saying i have alot of shit, but i have a few nice things. This laptop isnt one of them though..Its amazing how you can find things so cheap online haa..

 

[nexion]

Your lucky. I wish i could cry. I actually love the rain. It eases everything for me..Its realy strange. I love darkness haha..Not in a satanic or emo kinda way. I just feel more relaxed in the evening especially when its dark and rainy. I wish i could go to school at night.

My life is so negative..shit..im suprised Im not crying everyday. Im not even poor or starving or anything. And everytime i think about how depressing my life is i think about people who are living in sheds with nothing to eat or anything and how i dont have the right to feel depressed. And then i feel like an asshole...shit..I would trade all of the shit i have to not feel depression or anxiety anymore. Im not saying i have alot of shit, but i have a few nice things. This laptop isnt one of them though..Its amazing how you can find things so cheap online haa..

No one I know has ever considered it lucky to be able to cry, I don't believe. For me, it is a catharsis, an outpouring of what I have been feeling recently.

Possibly the best environment is night with a light drizzle, night with a thunderless lightning storm, or a foggy day with a light drizzle. I am drawn to darkness as well, and I hate that our society runs on such a system as day/night instead of night/day. What makes the day so much better anyway? My best thinking and most intense moments always occur at night, when I am alone and undisturbed.

You, at least, are better than I am. What reason have I to be woeful? I have a nice computer, a car, good education, excellent intellect, am endowed with reason and emotion, the ability to see the good in both... oh, if I were to count all my blessings. But if you have no reason to be depressed, than I have no reason to not be in a state of blissful joy at all moments, but neither of those are true. My material possessions altogether add up to nothing; they are worth nothing. I find it extremely difficult to go to a nice restaurant at times when I know there are people even within my own city who are not eating, children who have no beds, no homes, parents who spend all of their money on drugs and alcohol... but is not the child and the parent to be equally pitied? Oh, how we have all been deceived, by this dark dream, in this dark nation. But I pray for a day when all this shall end: whether through the destruction of the earth as a whole or through liberation and restoration of all things by Christ. I have little hope of either happening though, at least not soon. If there is a nuclear apocalypse, the world will be wiped clean. Were I ever given a choice...

The optimists tell me that things will get better soon. The ignorant tell me to put away such thoughts. The fools do not even bother listening. Who the fuck really cares? Who is going out and making sure change happens for the betterment of these, my estranged brothers? Not estranged to regret, not estranged to acknowledge my faulty steps. Oh, what a fool I am! for it is certainly not I. How can I even claim to feel for them in anyway; my heart is as calloused as the blackest man. What have I ever done for them? Oh God, I utterly hate myself...

I am such a fool for thinking that anything could be changed that I myself didn't change; that the system would fix itself, even that the system is fixable. If there were ever to come a time where you could destroy the entire world, would you reject it? I would not. Such an offer seems so generous to me...

 

[DesertSmeagle]

Holy fuck. That sounds like a poetic story from some book of short writings written in the Romantic era.

Ya, this world is a terrible place. Our lives controlled by other people. But its not really the other people that control us. Its our own minds which tell us to do the things that people want us to do, and its actually very sad. We all have to live our lives as puppets on then hands of the people around us. The saddest part is.....That i cant remember what i was going to say..fuck..

I dont know what to think about depression anymore. I mean theres people who have literally nothing, and some arent depressed at all. And im sittin here on my fat ass able to get up and get as much food as i want, anytime, and saying im depressed as fuck. But over the past 2 years , after getting a bunch of stuff for Christmas and Birthdays, ive come to the conclusion that items mean absoultely nothing to me. Well, actually, getting a laptop kinda changed my life....wow....come to think about it, id probably be nowhere without the internet. All the information in the world at my fingertips. I discovered anxiety and depression here. Up until i got a laptop, i just thought i was just a shy weirdo with something wrong with me. Thats what i had been told all my life. Now im in a constant state of philosophical thoughts..With noone to share them with. My parents think im crazy.When im in a deep state of depression, which i see will be coming soon, my thoughts pour out all over my family. And they arent good thoughts at all. Pesimistic philosophical thoughts about life and society, and I start blaming my parents for giving me the depression and anxiety. We need another enlightenment period.

I actually hope something happens in 2012..I dont want the entire world to end, i just want something big enough to happen to make people realize how shitty life has been. Just set aside all the posessions and social dutys and realize that life is meant to be enjoyed and celebrated, not something to hate. Im sure God is pissed at us. Its clear that if he was gonna create another flood to restart from all this bullshit, it would be soon. But probably in the form of nuclear war, or, i hope not, man made disease. Nuclear war would be fine, i live in the middle of nowhere. Then people would see that life isnt about making money or.....making money...the root to all evil....why do we go to school? to eveentually make money..

i have to go..my mom and brother are fukin freaks and refuse to sleep in a bedroom, so they sleep in the living room....theres definitely something wrong with my mother..probably traumatized in some way during childhood. She refuses to go to the Dr and confront her past..Me and my dad have been trying for a few years now to make her go, because shes only 43 and acts like a senial old woman...ok timeforbed.

 

[nexion]

So then, depression must be a perception.

Whatever happens shall happen. But if society, humanity, is falling, it is not falling as a leaf, which shall gently touch the ground and be stirred by the wind. It is falling as a mighty tower, a great empire. If I am falling as well, I can only pray that death shall reach me at the bottom.

Life is utterly useless. What is there to do or find which is meaningful? Going to school, getting a job, making money... it is all so fucking useless. I would just go and live in the woods, the most minimalist lifestyle i could ever live, but I am too attached to music and the internet, and knowledge. Oh, I am such a fool. If there is nothing worth anything, I might as well live just to survive.

Oh God... this is not for me. The world you painstakingly created and crafted for your creation to enjoy and love both you and each other... it means nothing to me. Why can't I trade it all? You can have it all back... it is not anything I want.

When you get beyond all the broken systems and foolish and stupid people (there is no doubt I am among them), and those who live in poverty and who die of starvation, there is only one thing that is regrettable in life: and that is that the most natural and pure human desire is never to be filled in this life. Perhaps society and money and pursuit of such superficial things were created to defend people against such a misery as which comes by this realization. But no! These things shall have no place in my heart, not now, not ever.

 

[ChildOfTheMushroom]

Damn, when you need to release the energy, let it flow. It entered you, it needs to exit.
I cry prolly once a month to once every few months.

 

[7even]

I'm an INTP male, and cry pretty frequently, and I fucking love it. The surge of pure emotion once in a while; just feels so surreal, like a damn good drug.
Movies and music do it for me.
I've got to be alone.
Hell, sometimes I even write down an analysis of my crying session.
Society's perception of crying and connection with feminism is ridiculous, as if it is something to be ashamed about. First thing I did when I was born was cry, but that was probably more of a 'Fuck... Western civilization' response... Interesting that some babies don't cry at birth.

 

[Philosophyking87]

I don't think I ever cry.
Not even for my deceased mother.

I used to, right after she died.
I seem to have an extreme incapability of showing any kind of touchy-feely emotion.... hmm....

Only thing I show are usually: (1) anger, (2) enthusiasm (usually for new ideas)

 

[Puffy]

I'm not much better with crying than I was a few years ago.

I have this strange self-defence mechanism against crying. Whenever I want to only a few tears streak my face before I sneeze (nearly always) and then I can't cry anymore. Can anyone identify this? It's strange. I don't even have anything against crying.

I think there's a possibility that I am too calm, if such a thing exists. It's very difficult for me to feel overwhelmed.

 

[Architect]

My INTP young son cries frequently. Of course, he's a kid. He also has the INTP trait of ignoring his emotions until they build up and overwhelm him, which will bring on the tears (uncontrolled Fe).

I suffered from that when younger, now I mostly will get emotional with a poignant moment in a movie (Sci Fi shows will bring this on), novel, or whatnot. It feels good, freeing and letting some stuff go.

 

[Etheri]

It's more that I never feel the urge to cry than trying to supress myself. I find myself sometimes wishing I could cry, just doesn't happen.

I have found myself unable to cry, for some reason. There have been times when I thought that I probably should, that it may even be advantageous for me to do so, but I can't seem to get myself to actually do it. No matter how badly I feel, trying to cry is sort of like trying to force laughter when there is none there.

I suffered from that when younger, now I mostly will get emotional with a poignant moment in a movie (Sci Fi shows will bring this on), novel, or whatnot. It feels good, freeing and letting some stuff go.

I related with these SO MUCH. That being said, I haven't read the entire thread, cause there was some 2 year old bitchfight going on and quickly reading through that I lost intrest. I'll finish later.

When I feel really bad (which is honestly very rare, but i've had my moments in the last two months due to circumstances), I sometimes wish I could cry. I've sat down, alone, just thinking, trying to let my emotions flow, trying to let things go, trying to cry. The truth is, I just cant. I cried when I was younger, but for the last few years... Ever since I've truly learned to keep my emotions under control, I have been crying less and less. And now, it's genuinly been years =/. The closest I get to crying is often the moving part in a movie. Typically the movies where the plot doesn't even interest me, and I know this 'bawwww' moment was coming all along. I don't actually cry there, but atleast I feel strongly emotionally moved, and in a way it reminds me of crying.

I don't think I truly stack up or hide my emotions, if that was the case, they'd get too much for me in due time. I just feel I can't let them go and flow out either. As if I need to be in control over them, and I cannot let lose of that control. It's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel happy, it's okay for anything, but I'll never go into outbursts of emotion. No rage, no jealousy, no fits, no euphoria, no depression. As if the emotions are damped. Current generation feelings, so weak ... They ain't what they used to be.

Ps. (Obviously crying for purely physical reasons doesn't count, cleaning onions will make produce a river.)

 

[intpz]

I don't. Last time was when I was... 5?

 

[Ink]

In my experience it works like this, if you're in an environment where everyone is open, accepting, friendly etc it allows us to relax our ego (MBTI speak Ti-Ne) and incorporate our weaker function Si-Fe making us more well-rounded, vulnerable and sensitive...

 

[TriflinThomas]

I find it extremely hard to cry, it's also extremely awkward for me (the act of crying). I cried maybe 4 times after my dad died (approx. 2 ½ years ago); it was kind of like throwing up, I would bottle up my feelings for a while then cry. I always felt better afterwards. I haven't cried since then. I've teared up while listening to a sad song or watching a sad movie/commercial but no actual crying.

 

[nexion]

In my experience it works like this, if you're in an environment where everyone is open, accepting, friendly etc it allows us to relax our ego (MBTI speak Ti-Ne) and incorporate our weaker function Si-Fe making us more well-rounded, vulnerable and sensitive...

I find that the more emotionally open an environment is, the more I become wary of that environment.

:smiley_emoticons_mr

 

[Proletar]

I am myself highly emotional and quite fragile.


I deal in absolutes when it comes to feelings. Normally, I tend to be totally relaxed and is seen as 'Calm itself' by my friends. But when I'm going through my emotional phases, I'm either in a state of total euphoric bliss or at the bottom of the bottomless pit of grief, regret and anxiety. When my feelings take over, there is no way to bypass them. I have to submit to them and finally when the crisis is over, step out of it as something more than I was before.

When I feel, that is.