(beware of superflous emoticons)
i can remember when i was a kid, i used to be more energetic and outgoing
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, which i guess is natural for a kid. i used to play a lot of sports and games with my classmates, and i interact with people more which is the total opposite of what i am now as a teen. despite these seemingly extroverted characteristics though, im pretty sure that i have an innate introversion ever since i can remember, it was just being overlapped and suppressed by my childhood's tendency to get to know the world better and therefore being more exploratory and lively but once i grow up and got used to this world and there is nothing much more stuffs to discover, my introversion took its reign.
i can still remember that despite being lively as a kid, i was usually described as shy, quiet, and less talkative but i was remarkably thoughtful. i also remember having intense philosophical thoughts as early as 7 year old, my favorite topics were the existence of heaven
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and hell
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, the shape of the earth (i thought we were inside an enclosed sphere back then) and its position in space and how wide the whole universe is, if theres a border at the end of the universe, what will happen when i die
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, i even cry every time i thought of my parents dying and the fear that we might not know each other anymore if heaven exists, i was also very analytical. i also used to enjoy watching tv alone in a dark room while im at the corner of my bed eating snacks
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, i think its my favorite 'recharging' moment after a tiring day full of playing with my classmates. i also remember designing games with self-sketched monsters, characters, skills, and quest, i even let my cousins play it. i also remember this habit of not stepping at the lines on floor tiles and in the sidewalks, i can also remember this one moment when i was wondering how many permutations my fingers can make. i also aced my elementary class, i was the top student. i also loved multiplayer role playing adventure video games. i can also remember having no official 'friend' back then, i didnt even know what a 'friend' means and didnt bother about it. i just socialize and play with my classmates and some more frequently but the idea of friendship like a trusting-each-other relationship was kinda nonsense to me back then which reflects my independent nature. science and math were my favorite subjects, and hands-on activities were my hatest.
in summary, my childhood was outwardly fun, and naturally extroverted for a child that's just beginning to know ther world, but my inherent introversion and INTPness as a whole is implicitly remarkable as much as i can remember.
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