INTP family reunion stress

[xbox]

I had no idea intense exposure to people for long periods of time would cause me so much stress that it would affect my health.

My family has been hosting this family reunion for about 3-4 weeks now. There's like 2 more weeks to go until I get my freaking room back. I'm in the den typing away while there are like 20-30 people in the family room and a bunch of little brats running around.

This week I've come down with a cold/fever... probably because of exposure to outsiders, but I've been finding the need to just get away. Right now I'm sharing the den with my sister because all the rooms are taken over by guests.

Weirdest part is that I always get colds and fevers during family reunions, and I'm never really around people. They're always like "omg are you sad or tired or something??" My answer is "just tired."

I'm pissed off, and I don't even know why.. *suicidal thoughts*

 

[Jordan~]

I'm pissed off, and I don't even know why..

I get that a lot when there are people around. Every tiny little thing people do becomes a hanging offense. Like, "WHY ARE YOUR FOOTSTEPS SO LOUD YOU HITLER!?"

I think it's just an introvert thing, we get pissed off when people are imposed on us and we can't escape. I get especially pissed off when I don't have a sanctuary - nowhere I can escape to to shut myself off from people. When bitches come into my study, I get daggers in my eyes. When they use my fucking computer, I take the daggers out of my eyes and stab them the fuck to death.

"Oh, I'll just look something up, I won't be a se--" "No you arsing won't. What is it?"

That sounds absolutely hellish. My sympathies. Maybe you can dig out a little nest somewhere? There's got to be somewhere in the house you can retreat to. Even if it's just like... a closet you can read in or something.

 

[GYX_Kid]

Crowds have actually in recent times started to affect me slightly, but only when I'm ...Fe-focusing on it

like during one, I came to decide I had a feeling of claustrophobia. But it was manageable.
And during another, I started getting pissed off because I started to think about which of the humans around would aggressively and selfishly fight for survival, if there was some kind of mass panic all of a sudden.

Cold logic: everything in the environment is just a thing

What about headphones?

 

[Deleted member 1424]

hehehe
Last time I went to visit my Texan relatives I left the house in favor of a blizzard, just to get away. Which is saying a lot, because I'm very nesh and often times cold weather makes my lungs turn on me.

damn irritating, idiotic, and grossly nationalistic rednecks

 

[Stoic Beverage]

Gee, thanks for the reminder that I've got a miserable family reunion that I depart for in three days.
Grumblegrumble.

 

[xbox]

My condolences.

 

[dialectical_stew]

I find it hard to spend 30 minutes at my family reunions, let alone weeks...I can't even begin to comprehend your pain.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I know how you feel man.

I just spent 11 days in a house in france with 3 other guys with no escape to do anything on my own because eating, sleeping, working, relaxing all had to be done not alone for some reason. It made me very foggy, irritated and exhausted after the first 5 days.

It's all fun, but just not for too long.

 

[Jordan~]

When I leave home for good, I'm telling only five people who are related to me where I'm going.

 

[Trebuchet]

Well, don't kill anyone. Jail would be even harder to escape.

You have my sympathies as well. Not having access to your own space makes it even harder to handle crowds - it is a violation, even if no one means it that way. You must feel all your usual ways of coping with stress have been taken from you. When you feel a little better, can you go hide in a library or something?

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Heh, just one relative, not even in my room. Even for just a week, i am pretty much closed up in my room, and only briefly talk to them when i go out to get food etc.

I dont really have family reunions very often, i have only took part in a few, but have had a few people stay, some multiple times. Then again my family just doesn't get along, and they know it. So they barely try, but the occasions they do, often get pretty ridiculous.

I have had other similar experiences outside of family reunions though. The summer i turned 17, my mom called a friend of mine, i was spending the night at his house. She talked him into letting me stay the summer and work with my friends girlfriend at the store she worked at, without even letting me know. Next day i wake up, i have to go to my house, pack.. and move to his house. Was dreadful living there with him and his girlfriend and kids, sharing a shower with them. Away from my personal space at home, i had to sleep in the living room on their couch. Every day was a living nightmare, long story short i ended up calling my mom one day about 4 months later and forced her to let me move back in, and when i got home from work, i started packing my shit and havent talked to him since i left.

I still remind my mother that forcing me to stay there is the worst thing she has ever done to me. She insists it is because i was lazy and didn't want to work. When in reality i was doing fine at work, but i was absolutely miserable at home, and pushed through it as long as i did just to prove to her that it wasn't because i was being lazy. In fact i continued working there for another 3-4 weeks until his girlfriend got rid of all my hours on the schedule and eventually fired me over some dumb stuff that wasn't really a viable reason but i didn't care.

All in the past, and dealing with stuff like that and realizing later that it is all in the past and i can move on to my own shit eventually, just makes it easier to bear through it when the occasions arise.

 

[Architect]

This is totally natural for an INTP, in fact it's really good for me to hear this because my parents continually, well it seems like continually pester me to go on family reunions–which I hate. The events are dominated by Sensor relatives, I don't think there is an intuitive in the bunch, except for me of course. But the events are dominated by food, mindless activities and mindless conversation (my definition of course). My idea of a fun family reunion would be fascinating in-depth conversations about anything, not just telling funny stories and trivia from our lives.

The ones I've been to haven't been longer than a week, I really can't imagine what you're going through.

 

[Cavallier]

I just refuse to go. I used to not be able to when I was a child. Now, as an adult, I just don't go.

It's great. I love being a grown up!

 

[Minuend]

^Word

 

[Chimera]

I just refuse to go. I used to not be able to when I was a child. Now, as an adult, I just don't go.

It's great. I love being a grown up!

You'll love it even more when your body starts failing you. >:[
/bitter
​

 

[Cavallier]

^Bahaha! Yeah, but I've got at least another 45 to 50 years before that happens.

 

[Hadoblado]

Oh dear. My first thought before reading your post was 'yeah, but tough titties, it's only a day so you just need to ride it out'. Five to six weeks? Shoot me now those things can go for more than a day? Fuuuuuck. Chainsaw+hockeymaskwat?

You might be getting sick from all the new and wonderful diseases your tribe are bringing in. Being an INTP I wildly guess you are not made from the most robust materials?

At my family reunions we play this game where I *try* to sleep and everyone else tries to stop me.

 

[grandpa2390]

3 weeks? I would die. ;( . I do not care for gatherings like that either. I can get together with people as long as I can go home at the end of the day and sleep in my own bed. I want to clarify that that also means that I am alone in the house. Sleeping in my own bed in a house full of people would not be comforting.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

At my family reunions we play this game where I *try* to sleep and everyone else tries to stop me.

We play this too. But the game is stacked because I have to share my room with my two obnoxious cousins.... I lose a lot.

But yeah OP, in general crowds suck, especially when they're in your house.

 

[digital angel]

It's understandable. Is there any way you can get away for a few minutes (or hours)? Perhaps you can take a laptop to a coffee shop and find a corner or table for yourself.

Stress can wreak havoc on you. I can have huge abdomen issues from stress; I can have headaches too.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Hmm. I've never been very bothered by family functions.

Then again, I'm not sure most of our gatherings can really be considered reunions. The only one we even call a reunion is a 3 day camp-out on a lakefront property in the Smokies, and I haven't gone in years (very extended family).

I suppose wedding receptions are pretty draining, but I attribute that more to the crappy dance music that always seems to be present.

 

[Litawyn]

I discovered the solution years ago to dealing with the stress and displeasure associated with obligatory family social gatherings.

I simply stopped going. Problem solved.



J

 

[Awesome_Person]

hmm. I think your lucky. My immediate family (mom dad sister(17) bro(11)) doesnt associate much with my aunts and uncles, and other members much. Ive never even had a family reunion. Ive actaully been to one of my friends family reunions long ago when i had friends.

Whats it like to have a family?

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Whats it like to have a family?

A miserable, soul sucking ordeal.

 

[Awesome_Person]

A miserable, soul sucking ordeal.

ahhh. maybe im lucky then...

Idk, i have a bunch of super hot cousins that want my pee pee....which is weird, buttt......ya know