INTP body issues

[QuestiontheStupid]

Im am INTP and iv got major self issues with my body...theres nothing wrong with it but yet,i hate it...I think its ugly and have even done obsured things to myself because of it.I get major depression and have gone on countless crash diets and even now,all I eat is fruits and veggies...I weigh 104 pounds...Am I normal? I just cant get it to stop.

 

[Ex-User (221)]

Yeah, I get that too. I'm not motivated enough to go on diets or anything like that but every so often I lose a lot of weight at an alarming rate, sometimes as much as a stone a month.

As much as people say that there's nothing wrong with me, I can't believe them. I've had people come up to me on the street and ask me to do modelling stuff but I always say no because I just can't see it.

This probably isn't very helpful, but at least you know that you're not the only one.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

I can't say I'm happy with my body (hell, I weighed in at 294 today at the dr's. office) but I can't say I'm displeased enough to do much of anything about it. When I was younger (teens and 20s) I could lose weight simply by being more active. Not so easy anymore for a variety of reasons.
Weighing in at 104....well, that sounds skinny but I guess it depends on your height. If you are 6'3" like I am, that would be a problem.

 

[fullerene]

I don't think I've ever known a girl who didn't have some sort of serious self-image issues at least at some point in their lives (usually its current, actually). They all act like they don't around everyone... but after a few weeks or months of warming up to each other it eventually comes up in conversation. It's to the point now where I cringe every time I see a study on the news or yahoo (my homepage) just because I know what stuff like that has done to friends--and one or two of them were the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. It's not so much that they want to be pretty by the culture's standards (which, of course, are already ridiculous in themselves), as it is that no matter what they look like, they want to change something else about themselves. So yes, I'm sure you're normal.

Other than that I don't really know what to say--I've never known and intp girl, save a 10 minute or so conversation I had with one I'm pretty sure was intp, so I don't really know what would help to hear. My typical response is just to hate the culture that steals into our minds and exaggerates our desires until they become unhealthy. I really feel for girls in modern culture--it's a nasty time to grow up.

 

[Fedayeen]

I thought INTPs generally didn't care much about their appearance.

I don't think I'm what one would call "good looking", but I also don't worry about it.

 

[Kidege]

Well, my first thought when I saw this thread was "we have bodies?"

Then I read the posts and I dare say it all goes down to the way we relate to our bodies.

While I try not to buy into the fashion, I do have a "weird" way of treating my body:
It's as if I'd prefer it weren't there. With its shape, size and mere presence it creates expectatives. If you're a girl the expectatives turn into (nasty) demands. Add the body's natural demands and it's quite easy to be annoyed at it.

Dunno if it helps. In my case, identifying the particular expectative/demand that I didn't like did help me balance my food intake. Now I only need to find a reason to exercise...

 

[Agent Intellect]

i'm not sure how i feel about my body. 6th through 10th grade i got made fun of a lot for my body. i used to be fat, so i obviously got it for that. and my teeth used to be a little crooked, so i got it for that (the running joke was that i flossed my teeth with a jump rope). i wasn't wealthy, so all of my clothes were hand me downs and off brand garage sale/good will quality, and i got made fun of for that (i didn't have any Tommy Hilfiger, which was the "in" brand during the mid-late 90's while i was in middle school)

but since then, i've lost a lot of weight (about 120 pounds, down to 190 now from 2 and a half years ago) and have been weight lifting for about two years. and my teeth aren't as bad as they used to be, although i still dress like a hobo, but that doesn't bother me much. to me, i think being made fun of for my weight was one thing that helped motivate me to lose it (that and getting a girlfriend), although i'm not sure what other subconscious affects its had on me.

 

[Jordan~]

I used to get made fun of for my weight, then I started feeding myself instead of being fed and lost it in a few months. It didn't really bother me, I was too self-important to get sad about things other people did back then. Instead I just got angry.

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

My body image snapped.

I was in an incredibly depressed state, but at some point... I just became positive about it? I decided I was a sexy person, and started acting it.

A psychology/philosophy teacher my friend had told the students to spend 30minutes to an hour naked in front of a mirror. The students were supposed to just keep track of the thoughts that came up.

And then, do it again in a few days or a week.

The professor's theory was that many people are not actually comfortable in their skin- many of thoughts that will pop up are negative. Being naked infront of a mirror allows you to really see what you look like, who you are, and accept that.

And... I am okay being naked now.

 

[Jordan~]

Whenever I do that, I just notice things that need changing. Along with some things that are fine how they are.

 

[QuestiontheStupid]

I thought INTPs generally didn't care much about their appearance.

I don't think I'm what one would call "good looking", but I also don't worry about it.

I dont really care about what i wear(pajama bottoms,some tank top that never matches and black DCs with rainbow shoe laces) but I couldnt be naked in front of anyone(im also 5'1"...weighing at 104..)

 

[Ermine]

I wouldn't say there are any problems with my body. Unlike most girls, I don't rant about how fat I am. I just wish I were more fit. I'm not very motivated to exercise, unless it's part of a sport, but I don't have any time for intramurals. I just hope I gain that motivation soon since it gets harder and harder to maintain a healthy weight when you get older.

 

[Waterstiller]

I used to hate my body in high school and I was definitely leaning towards obese. The last couple years it has been going up and down on its own depending on how I feel.

These days I love my body and overall appearance. I'm sticking to a healthy weight and have learned how to force myself to eat if I'm not feeling like it. Even when I'm depressed a bagel with strawberry cream cheese sounds good. It's so ironic.. when I was fat nobody ever said anything about it. Now that I'm thin and a (mostly) health conscious eater, everyone in my family has made a point to say that I'm too skinny.

Questionthestupid: What do you think causes your negative perspective of your body?

Oh, and I think the majority of people are uncomfortable naked around a partner. At least at first.

 

[Death]

I don't like my body that much.I wish I had six packs or something.Whenever I had motivation to exercise,it's usually short-lived and I find myself going back to bad habits.

 

[grey matters]

Aside from maintaining a healthy lifestyle, which includes a healthy weight, grooming and the willingness to torture yourself with fashionable clothing there is not much you can do to look good on the outside. with the exception on one thing. There are some very rare people who are so beautiful on the inside that their attitude and sense of peace and love just emanate to the outside. They seem to glow from (no not radioactively). I am naturally curious about these people so I have observed them objectively and I have noticed that many of them are really quite ordinary in appearance and some of them are just downright ugly. But the way they carry themselves and the look on their face actually makes them appear more beautiful then they are.

In college I had a friend of mine who had a major life change. He showed me a picture of himself before his change and the scowl on his face was so uncharacteristic of him I didn't recognize him at first. He wore the same type of clothes and hair but he appeared shorter because he was hunched over in a stance that indicated that he was angry and if you crossed him, even just a little bit, he would punch your light's out. The person I knew stood tall and relaxed and most of the time had a calm peaceful smile on his face.

Next time you are in a crowd of people observe how the way that other people carry themselves effects their attractiveness. Also observe how others react to them. it is interesting.

 

[Waterstiller]

Yeah, I definitely agree with grey matters. It's something my mom had always told me as well. When she was younger, she was kinda chubby and not as 'pretty'. But people were drawn to her. When you're a strong person who is sure of yourself it tends to warp other people's perception of you. Once someone starts having confidence in themselves instead of other people's perceptions (or the media's..) the world echoes it back. Likewise, when insecure, other people pick up on it and that's what gets echoed back. It's a perceptual feedback loop, and to remedy shitty perceptions of ourselves (by ourselves or others) we need to turn it around. I'm so bad at explaining myself lately. Anyways, how a person chooses to view themselves creates reality. If someone starts loving themselves, it's infectious.



I can barely recognize myself in photos from over a year ago mainly for this reason, and neither can others.

 

[fullerene]

I have a pretty good friend, actually, who's one of these people. He has remarkable charisma, and I've never met a single person (this is on a college campus--and he's really outgoing, of course) who wasn't immediately taken with him. He knows it, too... but not in an arrogant way. It's the kind of thing where everyone loves him, and their ideas of things are manipulated by his opinions of people and ideas even when there's no conceivable way that should ever make a difference. He wonders why this is, and sometimes even shifts the way he acts towards things without a reason just to try to figure out what makes people change the way they see things with him--we became friends, I think, largely because I was one of the only people (the only one at college... maybe ever) who wasn't influenced so heavily just by his being around. He strikes me as exactly the kind of person you're thinking about... just by the way he acts and talks and how people respond to it. ENFP, if you're wondering.

That said... self-confidence has nothing to do with it. He, like everyone else with any depth to them, is torn up inside by the same kinds of things everyone else is. You'd just never guess it because it never touches him when he's around other people (save late night, private conversations when no one else is around). I don't think that the nearly-hypnotic allure of such people has anything to do with actual self-confidence, which I don't think anyone but the really narrow-minded have... but it's more of a sort of internal hypocrisy. But I wouldn't say it's purposeful hypocrisy... it just seems like whenever he's around other people, he's consumed by overwhelming happiness and excitement which overflows from within him, regardless of how sad and distressed he was 2 seconds before someone else walked into the room.

I'm thinking that the key to the infectious cheer is the ability to just forget and ignore everything that's bothering you, instantly and without effort. I'm not sure INTPs have that ability, because we've subconsciously chosen truth over making people happy. It's just not what our brains are good at. I'm not really sure, though, because I've only been able to study this guy for 6-7 months or so, and I didn't even really know him til the last 3 or so... so my opinions on the subject are shifting pretty frequenly with experiences.

 

[Waterstiller]

Fascinating post, cryptonia.

As for whether or not INTP's can be that way, I'm beginning to wonder if we can choose people's happiness over truth if we deduce that aiding their happiness is the actual truth depending on the circumstance.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

A psychology/philosophy teacher my friend had told the students to spend 30minutes to an hour naked in front of a mirror. The students were supposed to just keep track of the thoughts that came up.

A psychology/philosophy teacher my friend had told the students to spend 30minutes to an hour naked in front of a mirror. The students were supposed to just keep track of the thoughts that came up.

Behold the sheer irresponsibility of combining a curious mind and a body

The first ten minutes I spent studying my feet, from which I made several conclusions.
-Classification: Hobbit Feet El Grande with a swiss cheese smell
-My left big toe is ingrown; I really should pay more attention to that
-Toes are proof of evolutions inefficacy, that or god is a funny guy
-I can crack my toes like they are knuckles, makes'em easier to move
-Overall: I could be related to Bigfoot or Frodo, possibly both

By now my neck was getting sore, so I turned my attention to the face in the mirror. After telling Bloody Mary to piss off (bloody perve more like it) I spent another ten minutes quietly studying.
-Classification: White, brown eyes, short brown hair, noble (edit: big) nose
-I need to shave or... I just need to shave, but a moustache would look cool
-I have acne, but clean living and regular washing has it under control
-I have a double chin (butt face)
-Overall: I'm a sexy beast, yeah (Austin Powers’s voice)

The next hour or so was spent staring deep into my reflections eyes trying to find a soul and entertaining Bloody Mary with my penis puppetry (ghostly chicks have needs too).

 

[Jordan~]

I am highly dissatisfied with my nose. It is someone else's nose, probably an ENFP's - it cannot be taken seriously. I wish I had a more regal nose.

 

[Madoness]

Ok.... for me, I don't really care about how my body looks like, as for clothing the same. That is..... I don't want to impress people with my body image, and that is why I don't care much about it. But sometimes... when I'm in a depressive state, then things like that become to matter more, but again, it doesn't matter much. I know what would I have to do to change my image (body weight), I'm not talking about diets, but..... going to swim and doing other physical stuff I like. I may not do these things even then, but because there is an easy solution for the problem, these things cease to worry me.
One other thing... I guess, it falls to this category. I don't shave my beard every day. I may have sometimes a beard, a few weeks old, allmost looking like Santa, as long it isn't disturbing me, I don't care, the same is for my body as a whole.

 

[Fordy]

I'm a 6 foot 4 male who is unhealthily skinny, though I do have an 'excuse'. When I was young, I had an oesophagus that hadn't fully formed, and apparently I nearly choked on a sprout (though I can't even remember this, I do have an excuse for not liking sprouts :P ), which is what helped my parents find out. From then, untill I was about 11, I'd only ever eat soft foods, like pasta and noodles, and didnt eat enough meat. Even when it was back to normal, it took me a LONG time to get into a normal eating habit. Now I'll eat anything, and I eat a LOT, though it doesn't help me gain weight at all.

It does bother me, but I'm used to it now. What bothers me the most is that it makes me quite rubbish at most sports, even though I'm actually quite skilled (I can kick a ball perfectly or throw fine... They just dont go very far)

 

[didyouknow]

Well, the only thing I have real qualms about is my height. I'm 6 foot, fairly tall for a woman so it's rather difficult to find clothes that fit properly. Very irritating. Other than that, I like being able to see my father in my reflection because he lives very far away and he's getting surgery this year so he might not be around for much longer.

 

[sagewolf]

Hah. I'm five feet tall-- have been since I was eleven (not that I checked or anything... T.T) and I have the same problem. All my trousers drag the floor, unless I can tie them up. (I can't hem things. Don't know how and I sew like a blind monkey anyway.)

Other than that I'm either happy with my body and appearance or I'm not dissatisfied enough with them to be bothered. I do care what I wear- when I go out in training trousers and a t-shirt, it looks like I don't, but I won't wear something that's not me. (I don't care what people think about me, as long as they're actually thinking it about me.) I like olive/army green-- it goes well with my hair and eyes-- so my gloves, my favorite hat, and my bag are all that colour. It's muted, too-- it doesn't leap out at people-- and I don't often see it on people. So I guess that's my colour.

 

[Waterstiller]

Well, the only thing I have real qualms about is my height. I'm 6 foot, fairly tall for a woman so it's rather difficult to find clothes that fit properly. Very irritating.

It is very irritating. (6'1" here)

Shoes are even worse.

 

[Minuend]

I used to think I looked awful when I was about 15- 17. But then I gradually started to realize that I should accept myself. Today I can look at myself in the mirror and think that I'm beautiful. But objectively, I'm not that good looking, I think. About average perhaps? I have no idea how people really see me. But I think I look good, and that is what matters most. =]

But I do have issues when it comes to my personality. I often imagine I say weird things, or behave weird in general. So I'm not that confident when meeting new people.

 

[Ermine]

I don't have any complaints about my body itself, just my lack of bodily awareness. I probably don't carry myself very well since I don't know what I'm doing. And also, the use of body language isn't very natural for me. Due to my lack of body awareness I can't do any particular body language on purpose.

 

[Kidege]

Due to my lack of body awareness I can't do any particular body language on purpose.

A few years ago I used to fidget and flirt w/o realising it. I've thankfully achieved the blank stare since then.

 

[Barachai]

My body's mostly just annoying. It itches way to much. And then I have to take care of it or else it smells, and it needs so much water.
But, almost no allergies!

 

[Ben]

I dont feel like I have many body issues but I do have the same low confidence that many people with body issues have..... sucks.

 

[Jesin]

A few years ago I used to fidget and flirt w/o realising it.

Wait, what?

 

[didyouknow]

Hah. I'm five feet tall-- have been since I was eleven (not that I checked or anything... T.T) and I have the same problem. All my trousers drag the floor, unless I can tie them up. (I can't hem things. Don't know how and I sew like a blind monkey anyway.)

I have 3 friends who are all around your height, it's amusing to walk around the school with them. One of the teachers once came up and sang "one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong" which was hilarious.

Did you know that most romans were around 5 foot tall?

 

[Madoness]

I have 3 friends who are all around your height, it's amusing to walk around the school with them. One of the teachers once came up and sang "one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong" which was hilarious.

Did you know that most romans were around 5 foot tall?

Most of the humankind used to be smaller than now....

 

[severus]

Whenever I start to hate my body, I just remind myself that no one is looking.
"Jesus my thighs are huge!...Ah, who the fuck cares."

 

[Spud147]

I want to go back to the first post, hopefully the young lady is still reading the thread.

I'm a woman in my 40s who has struggled with body image from grade school forward (and still do today but it's not as paralyzing). Anyway, the best thing I ever did for my "body image" was to stop subscribing to and buying fashion magazines about a decade ago. I finally realized that no matter what I did I would never look like those girls... they were born that way and were air brushed to make them appear even more perfect.

Look at it this way... a successful "super model" is as rare as an INTP. I'd rather work on things I can achieve instead of striving for physical perfection when I'm just going to be frustrated.