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Insulting Intelligence

Da Blob

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Random Musing...
As a person with an above average intelligence, I have a bit of a problem assessing the intelligence of strangers. Either I say something intelligent, that goes completely over the head of the person I am conversing with and they, then give me a 'look' that suggests they think I am crazy or I "Speak down" to someone and they get offended because I have "Insulted" their intelligence and therefore do not wish to converse with me any further...
So how does one meet people, without giving them a reason to doubt one's sanity or be offended by inferred egotism?:confused:

BTW - has anyone else encountered this dilemma, or is it just me, due to the fact that I am crazy and/or egotistical...lol
 

Cogwulf

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Generally I let the other person speak first. It helps a little.
 

Vegard Pompey

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Generally I don't speak. It helps a lot.
 

notrightnow

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Letting the other person speak first and establish the baseline is good. Failing that I talk normally (for me). If the person I'm speaking to looks stunned or confused I make an animal noise or random statement and make my exit while they try to figure it out.
 

ElvenVeil

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hmm.. Usually I just avoid uttering my opinion on matters, unless I speak with a person I think is capable of 'understanding' them, to their full extend. Now it may be a good bit arrogant, however I avoid the many situations where people feel like you are talking down to them.. Besides I fail to see why it would be important to voice your opinions to about everyone, so yeah perhaps you should just get used to do more listening/ less talking:)
 

Cavallier

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I ask lots of questions. If I'm uncertain about whether or not the other person is familiar with a specific topic I ask them what they know about it. If they are offended by that question I shrug it off with a, "it seems like a lot of people don't know about X but I'm relieved you've heard about it". So on and so forth.
 

Magnetosphere

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As with Cavallier, I ask plenty of questions and try to establish rapport with my new conversational partner, whoever they may be. Unfortunately, I'm still developing my social skills, so situations don't always follow through as originally planned. Luckily for those of us with similar, more introverted mindsets, listening attentively can win over those who are used to having to fight friends to get a word in, so to speak.

I try to be selective when it comes to who I do and don't talk to. If a person seems fairly intelligent or interesting, I'll be more engaging if they approach me. I may even go up to them and start talking, if they're a new coworker or I'm feeling particularly adventurous.

I hate to be the one suggesting it, but perhaps you should try learning the ins-and-outs of small talk? Not many ways you can go wrong with that.
 

SpaceYeti

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Random Musing...
As a person with an above average intelligence, I have a bit of a problem assessing the intelligence of strangers. Either I say something intelligent, that goes completely over the head of the person I am conversing with and they, then give me a 'look' that suggests they think I am crazy or I "Speak down" to someone and they get offended because I have "Insulted" their intelligence and therefore do not wish to converse with me any further...
So how does one meet people, without giving them a reason to doubt one's sanity or be offended by inferred egotism?:confused:

BTW - has anyone else encountered this dilemma, or is it just me, due to the fact that I am crazy and/or egotistical...lol
I usually just avoid uncommon words when I can. It's a very easy fix. You can still say what you mean, but there's no worry about speaking over someone's head. Unless the subject is over their head, but then simply explain it to them.
 

snafupants

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This pains me to do, but SY has a point in that few subjects, when spoken without jargon or abstraction, are completely incomprensible to a layperson or someone of average intelligence.

Wow that sounds elitist. Moving on, playing the odds might be your best bet. For instance, a doctor or engineer or lawyer will more than likely be smarter than a lifeguard or construction worker or plumber. I know who I can spar with/talk to seriously and who I have to maintain a social, businesslike role for.

However, there are probably hundreds of plumbers out there who are way smarter than you or me or anyone on this forum. Overall though opening up with quantum mechanics will fall short of endearment with most people, even if they are competent/interested enough to understand/care about the subject.
 

Words

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It's probably less about what you say, and more how you're saying it.

yeah~


yeah~ I just went here to say yeah~ yeah~

It would be useful to have an ability that allows you to identify people's perspectives. Speak their "language", essentially. Language is a symbol and a symbol requires a perspective to function.
 

SpaceYeti

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yeah~


yeah~ I just went here to say yeah~ yeah~

It would be useful to have an ability that allows you to identify people's perspectives. Speak their "language", essentially. Language is a symbol and a symbol requires a perspective to function.
Hence using common words.
 

EyeSeeCold

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It's better to speak in your usual way, without underestimating a person's intelligence. If they catch on - they catch on. If they don't, they don't. If they ask, feel free to explain.
 

SpaceYeti

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It's better to speak in your usual way, without underestimating a person's intelligence. If they catch on - they catch on. If they don't, they don't. If they ask, feel free to explain.
Using common words isn't talking down to someone. It's using common words. If the person you're talking to knows and understands the words you would otherwise use, good for them. If that's the case, odds are they also understand the more common words you're using. If they don't understand the less common words you would have otherwise used, good thing you didn't use them. To say using common words instead of less common words is talking down to someone or somehow insulting is to presume that people who don't know every obscure word you know in fact are stupid or uneducated.

You could liken it to carrying around twenties instead of a couple hundreds. Almost everywhere you buy anything will be able to make change for the twenties, but their will be places which cannot make change for the hundreds. However, the places that can make change for the hundreds can also make change for the twenties. Would they get insulted because you spent twenties instead of hundreds?

Here's the clincher, though; Language is meant to communicate ideas, and your chances of communicating increase by using words more people understand. It's not about how smart or dumb someone is, it's about talking to them.
 

shoeless

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^ yes.

i have nothing else to contribute except that the tone of this thread reeks of arrogance.
but that's just my ever so humble opinion.
 

snafupants

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^ yes.

i have nothing else to contribute except that the tone of this thread reeks of arrogance.
but that's just my ever so humble opinion.

Basically, everyone prefaced their observations and advice with words like egotistical and elitist, so I think most folks are amply aware of that fact. The OP put it on a tee.
 

Jesse

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People are usually smarter than what I give them credit for. I often just stick to pleasantries but somehow my intelligence shines through. I'm guessing they got from word of mouth that I'm smart as I often don't let people see that side of me yet somehow they I get called intelligent all the time.
 

cheese

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Speaking as one who rarely has a problem with people thinking I'm intelligent, perhaps you should try dressing in yellow, perforated suits? Lying down quietly on the chopping board also helps to endear you to others, although this does involve some health hazards.

You could always try letting them talk about whatever they want to while you appear to listen, and surreptitiously wait for opportunities to tangentially ambush them with, say, the 10 Greatest Theological Debates Of All Time. As far as I can tell this is what most normal people do, and serves the purpose of facilitating the eye-glaze necessary to reboot cognitive processing in time for a nimble leap back into the monologue marathon at trigger phrases kindly provided by the other party, such as, "God says you're the head, and that's why you should slap your wife around a little", or "My black neighbour is such an asshole", or the ever-popular "I'm depressed and want to kill myself" which inevitably links tangentially to spiralling cascades of swelling silences or an elephant sufficiency of other topics, most of which are implicated in conversational adultery as the partner makes his frantic exit.

Bide your time. If he talks about testicle surgery, mention your recent squirrel hunting trip. If she discusses the colour of her nail polish, bring up Jesus and his rusty palms. If they wax lyrical on their daughter's stellar high school grades, gracefully bring in the subject of you banging your college professor. It's all about timing. And timing is all about time travel.
 

Minuend

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For me it's not intelligence, it's just method of communication. And I'm somewhat whimsical so I stop mid-sentence and start anew. Actually, if anyone understands me at all their intelligence must be 140<. But that has nothing to do with my mental or not capabilities :)

It's probably less about what you say, and more how you're saying it.

What do you mean?

 

Yet

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If you want to get a message across it depends on adjusting your message on the knowledge of the people you're talking with on the subject but also on the relationship you have (how prepared is the other one to listen at what you are saying) and the 'quickness' of their mind.
On the other hand: how prepared are both parties to listen to the content of each others message? Is there any interaction?

There's a lot of difference between people in these aspects.

They say it has a lot to do with 'c'est le ton qui fait la musique' and adaptation (feeling what gets across). A lot of people just have serial monologues.
 

Fukyo

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What do you mean?

OP tends to sound condescending on the forum, or like he's the only one who knows what he's talking about. It's probably his tone that's causing him to come across as insulting people's intelligence.
 

Da Blob

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OP tends to sound condescending on the forum, or like he's the only one who knows what he's talking about. It's probably his tone that's causing him to come across as insulting people's intelligence.

Good example of what I am observing! The question is, of course, am I actually being condescending or is that something that is being read into my words by the reader? I lack the perspective to answer that question. I could claim innocence, but perhaps I am not...


A question, though, why is the statement of fact seen as being arrogant? (re: shoeless et alia)
 

Cavallier

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I agree with Fukyo.

Seriously, a little self-deprecation and a few honestly meant compliments help to relieve the worry of causing insult.

Perhaps realizing that you (the theoretical you) are possibly being insulting is the first step towards better communication. Causing insult without intent is silly. Causing insult with intent is at the very least a conversational tool worth honing.
:D
 

Agapooka

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The fact that you refer to your own statements as "intelligent" might be partially at fault for you coming across as arrogant. It might very well be what you think; however, and this is likely to impact your dialogue.

Understanding your ideas as abstract, however, might help in understanding the reasons why they sometimes go over people's heads. This does not put you in a position where you jump to the conclusion that they may not be intelligent enough (whatever that means) to understand, but rather, that their thought patterns cannot relate very well to yours.

In this case, you might want to use your, and I quote, "above average intelligence" and show to yourself and to others that your mastery over a concept allows you talk about it and explain it using simple language. The idea of using simple words was mentioned, but sometimes sentence structures and the manner in which ideas progress is at fault. Breaking things down and making the progression more obvious will not only benefit your ability to communicate, but it will test the extent to which you truly understand a concept.

Agapooka
 

BigApplePi

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Random Musing...
As a person with an above average intelligence, I have a bit of a problem assessing the intelligence of strangers. Either I say something intelligent, that goes completely over the head of the person I am conversing with and they, then give me a 'look' that suggests they think I am crazy or I "Speak down" to someone and they get offended because I have "Insulted" their intelligence and therefore do not wish to converse with me any further...
So how does one meet people, without giving them a reason to doubt one's sanity or be offended by inferred egotism?:confused:

BTW - has anyone else encountered this dilemma, or is it just me, due to the fact that I am crazy and/or egotistical...lol
I don't encounter this problem as long as the other guy goes first. Then when they do they always know more about what they're talking about than I do ... unless they ask me a question like, "How are you?" Since I don't know the answer to that, I assume they are more intelligent than I am.

I don't know how you are in such difficulty. You will have to explain more. If you do, I will try and take it to my psychoanalyst who may know the answer.:confused:

Case II. There are times when I go first. Last week I couldn't find the UPS office my wife had directed me to. So I drove to the nearest gas station and asked and they told me right off. I had to rehearse how to ask the question so as not to appear so stupid they wouldn't answer. I guess this is not much help. You must be very smart.
 
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notrightnow

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One thing to consider is that, perhaps, the subject at hand is boring your conversational partner not confusing him/her.
I find that I "lose" people more often because I speak very quickly when the topic I'm on is fascinating to me. Also, if you're in a situation where you have to use more common vernacular see it as a personal intellectual challenge. It takes intelligence to rephrase your thoughts. Humility is always a good thing to carry in your front pocket.
 

BigApplePi

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DaBlob. Here is another answer in a different mode. Usually what goes on in my head is so complicated I couldn't possibly explain it to another.

Case II. Martin Buber spoke of "I-Thou." If one is isolated and thinks totally unto themselves without the slightest awareness of whom they are speaking to, that is not I-Thou. That is something else. One must regard the other person as a full human being as complicated as oneself ... and unknown to you. So one must pick up every clue as to who they are, their mannerisms, deportment, attitude, etc. I can tell if they are receptive and if say something, right at the beginning see how they respond to the first few words and then stop and look if they received ...
 

Deleted member 1424

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I tend to feel somewhat bewildered when people compliment me for my intelligence, as I never know the proper way to respond and it shows. People interpret it as humbleness more often then not. However I also think it is the highest form of stupidity and ignorance to lay claim to intelligence. Yeah, I'm well above average for a human, however this does not make me intelligent or infallible. In my view every human is hopelessly dense, self centric, and blind. Myself definitely included. You might have a small margin blob, but from a non-human centric point of view the difference is minuscule and any arrogance and pride taken therein, delusional.

I'm a short individual, someone taller than me can easily claim that their higher vantage point is superior, however compared with all that there is to see and the vast range of it all, the difference is moot. I see no reason to defer to the taller individual or to let hir tell me what I see. Especially considering that despite the better vantage point, their vision will be distorted in some form. So do not expect people you perceive to be less intelligent to defer to you, this expectation is what they find insulting.

On another note you will find many people who are quite glad to defer, but I always felt this was an abuse of power.
 

warryer

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It's about power games.

There is a line between actually insulting a person's intelligence and people just itching for something to be insulted about. The key indicator is people, who are looking to be insulted, grab for more than is rightfully deserved.

Also, there is a line in which you yourself are deliberately attempting to rise above somebody vs. you being what you are. Again the indicator is trying too hard as to look not natural.

Common language is a very good way to overcome this. I can't count how many threads I've started to read and not finish because the language was too obscure. It takes enough brain power as it is to learn/think about new ideas. To throw jargon into the mix makes it too much of a struggle to understand.

Sure you could assume that people aren't smart enough to understand your ideas and you might be right. In my case, you would be wrong because I could not justify the energy it would take to even begin trying to understand.

Also, it comes across as "your lowly language isn't good enough for high and mighty me." Very off putting.

It's important to understand the message behind the words as well. I would say more of the meaning is here than the actual words.

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If you want to share your idea you have to work on my terms because you are trying to give something to me which I did not ask for.

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I can see what you mean about facts. Think about when you are presented with a fact for the first time. Do you simply take it as it is? Or are you skeptical at first while you investigate for yourself? Or do you not care because the topic doesn't interest you?

My gut is telling me that you tell people something that you see as fact and they become resistant. And I bet there is more resistance the less the person knows you.

The way I deal with this is to be less direct. (Direct being: THIS IS HOW IT IS). I say something along the lines of "I read something interesting the other day...." This way you attach yourself to the fact so, if the person gives you "the look" they are in danger of being condescending to you for thinking it was interesting.

It's about respect and social etiquette.
 

kantor1003

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Following up on spaceyeti. I think that the extensive use of words not commonly found in daily language is way too often used by intellectual elitists to show off how big their penises are instead of using them only where it's due; to illuminate a given idea where the use of common words wouldn't do the thoughts justice in making it precise-, specific- or clear enough. (One can't help but to think, when reading kant for example, if he really couldn't have simplified his wording, sentences to convey the same ideas for people obviously as stupid as me that have a really hard time with it. It's a shame when one really want to enter his world, but get kicked out just because you happen to be a lower-middle class citizen (to use an analogy that perhaps isn't really an analogy at all if we go back to his time).)
It's an interesting subject though, as many foreign words serves good purpose in structuring ones own thoughts. Instead of having a long mess of common words, either in your thinking or in speech, you have a cute little word that structures all that mess into one term like "gestalt" or "apriori" (I'll admit it, some of kant's terms are quite ingenious). Makes for quicker thinking and conversation about subjects where many more elaborate concepts lay the foundation.

Sorry for the little derail :o

It's probably less about what you say, and more how you're saying it.
I think this is the big one. I have never really experienced, yet, what DaBlob describes in the OP (perhaps with a few exceptions). I like to think it's because I'm usually very humble with people I don't know that well yet (or that I'm just not as intelligent). Perhaps it's also an age thing? I imagine that, when one reaches an older age, you get more to the point with sharing your ideas and not wrapping them all up in humility every time. After all, why should you when you have spent 30+ years refining them.
 

Vegard Pompey

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Following up on spaceyeti. I think that the extensive use of words not commonly found in daily language is way too often used by intellectual elitists to show off how big their penises are instead of using them only where it's due; to illuminate a given idea where the use of common words wouldn't do the thoughts justice in making it precise-, specific- or clear enough. (One can't help but to think, when reading kant for example, if he really couldn't have simplified his wording, sentences to convey the same ideas for people obviously as stupid as me that have a really hard time with it. It's a shame when one really want to enter his world, but get kicked out just because you happen to be a lower-middle class citizen (to use an analogy that perhaps isn't really an analogy at all if we go back to his time).)
It's an interesting subject though, as many foreign words serves good purpose in structuring ones own thoughts. Instead of having a long mess of common words, either in your thinking or in speech, you have a cute little word that structures all that mess into one term like "gestalt" or "apriori" (I'll admit it, some of kant's terms are quite ingenious). Makes for quicker thinking and conversation about subjects where many more elaborate concepts lay the foundation.

My philosophy teacher claimed that philosophers have intentionally obfuscated their opinions with esoteric language ever since Socrates was executed for his. I don't know if there's any truth to this, it does sound a bit ridiculous...
 

SpaceYeti

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My philosophy teacher claimed that philosophers have intentionally obfuscated their opinions with esoteric language ever since Socrates was executed for his. I don't know if there's any truth to this, it does sound a bit ridiculous...
They definitely do, though I'm not certain it's to avoid being put to death.
 

cheese

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It's really interesting how everyone is getting on their high horse and advocating 'common language' in this thread, where everywhere else they're getting on their high horse and complaining about having to dumb down their language for the masses. I reckon it's da Blob effect.

(It's also quite possibly a different set of users. The whiners tend to be in high school, or just out of it.)
 

Oblivious

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Since this thread is all about simple words and meanings, I shall now summarise the responses in this thread into three words:

"Shut up blob."

You people need to be more forward with your suggestions. It would do blob a lot of good. :)
 

Wizardry

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I ask lots of questions. If I'm uncertain about whether or not the other person is familiar with a specific topic I ask them what they know about it. If they are offended by that question I shrug it off with a, "it seems like a lot of people don't know about X but I'm relieved you've heard about it". So on and so forth.

I usually use this strategy. I don't communicate with anyone with the intent of either making myself feel superior or making them feel...well, whatever it is they decide to feel from the interaction. I usually aim for mutually satisfying communication. If I don't think thats possible I don't bother talking to them unless I have to. People think this is arrogance when really, from my point of view, it is showing the utmost respect. I'm not wasting their time and they are not wasting my time.

I think its annoying when I feel the need to "dumb" myself down for others so their egos don't get hurt. Makes me spend entirely too long trying to reformulate my thoughts so the interaction isn't even "fun" or "friendly" it becomes "work". I live in a place where pretty much any word longer than 4 syllables can potentially be considered rude to use.
 

EyeSeeCold

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Language is:
A communication tool
A method of expression

You can't obviously please everyone. Trying will result in loss of Self. You can't also be so self-absorbed, unless you want to be completely estranged.
 

BigApplePi

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It's really interesting how everyone is getting on their high horse and advocating 'common language' in this thread, where everywhere else they're getting on their high horse and complaining about having to dumb down their language for the masses. I reckon it's da Blob effect.

(It's also quite possibly a different set of users. The whiners tend to be in high school, or just out of it.)
cheese I can't tell what yer talking about, but from where you're sitting could you come down to a low enough level where you can be heard without trampling those down below ... or something?
 

Words

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cheese I can't tell what yer talking about, but from where you're sitting could you come down to a low enough level where you can be heard without trampling those down below ... or something?

yar~ I second that motion.
 

kantor1003

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damn you words, you beat me to it. I can't second for the third time can I? Thank you very much.
 

cheese

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I third you, Words. No one else ever makes judgments on intpf. What right does cheese think it has, eh? Fucker. :mad: And your father smells of hamsters!
 

Da Blob

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This is actually an interesting thread. I agree with cheese (I think?). My original thought for an OP was "Why do members of this forum choose to be offended?". However, that seemed a bit 'trollish' a topic, so I reworded it. There have been a few that have suggested that people seek to be offended to maintain their own status quo etc., but the majority seem to be more focused on the flaws of the Offender, rather than the flaws of the Offended.

As a counselor, I am well versed in the utility of Active Listening and when assuming the role of a counselor, I play my part quite effectively. However, when assuming the role of Da Blob, this is not the case. It may well be because of playing to different audiences, as cheese suggested...(?)

John
 

BigApplePi

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There is no reason why a fourth opinion is warranted, especially since no INTP will raise the status of emotion to that of intelligence meaning they cannot be insulted for their intelligent judgmentallessness even if that is so obscure they aren't so sure.
 

Da Blob

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There is no reason why a fourth opinion is warranted, especially since no INTP will raise the status of emotion to that of intelligence meaning they cannot be insulted for their intelligent judgmentallessness even if that is so obscure they aren't so sure.

Yet that is rather the point. Why do so many INTPians who supposedly prefer T over F, respond to the words I post in a "F"ish manner, choosing to be offended, rather than with comments that indicate they thought about those words...?

(Not to say, I have not been deliberately offensive on the rare occasion...:rolleyes:)
 

BigApplePi

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Yet that is rather the point. Why do so many INTPians who supposedly prefer T over F, respond to the words I post in a "F"ish manner, choosing to be offended, rather than with comments that indicate they thought about those words...?

(Not to say, I have not been deliberately offensive on the rare occasion...:rolleyes:)
Rather than try to answer that, suppose I cook up an example. Suppose I write a long essay. (I did so on the UMS thread). Now suppose it was not just long but provocative or enticing. The reader, in this age of sound bytes, might be provoked, frustrated or torn apart in trying to meet its demands. This is not a back-and-forth conversation of ideas, most convenient to a forum. It's an essay demanding almost an essay in response. Getting one you have to get lucky. It's not a matter of intelligence exactly. It's a matter of energy.

I'll try a different answer to the OP.

More succinctly, it's not intelligence, it's presentation.
 

Dr. Freeman

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I have encountered this problem, and aside from avoiding people that are that petty, I have no solution to that problem other than apology. I hate apologising for the errors of others. :waffe:
 

BigApplePi

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Random Musing...
To be taken how seriously?
As a person with an above average intelligence,
Which intelligence? There is logical, verbal, musical, kinesthetic, intrasocial, intersocial, emotional, spacial and I forget the others.
I have a bit of a problem assessing the intelligence of strangers.
They are strangers, aren't they?
Either I say something intelligent,
Say something intelligent.
that goes completely over the head of the person I am conversing with
intersocial intelligence doesn't do that
and they, then give me a 'look' that suggests they think I am crazy or I "Speak down" to someone and they get offended
Give an example of speaking down. Deliver a visual on how typically they look.
because I have "Insulted" their intelligence and therefore do not wish to converse with me any further...
We don't know it is their intelligence ...
So how does one meet people, without giving them a reason to doubt one's sanity or be offended by inferred egotism?
That is what we're trying to find out.:confused:
 

BigApplePi

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I decided it is wiser not to post this:

I'm so sorry you feel this way. (I hated to say that.) Have you tried telling them how petty they are and that from now on it's beneath your dignity to have anything to do with them? (Never can tell. That could turn them right around.:D)
 

Dr. Freeman

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I have honestly concidered it, but didn't want to cause them to cause me to do violence to them.
 

Da Blob

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I have encountered this problem, and aside from avoiding people that are that petty, I have no solution to that problem other than apology. I hate apologising for the errors of others. :waffe:

Yes, especially "I'm sorry you feel that way"; "Please forgive me for giving you reason to be offended"; "I'm sorry, that was not my intent" etc. types of apologies

I decided it is wiser not to post this:

I'm so sorry you feel this way. (I hated to say that.) Have you tried telling them how petty they are and that from now on it's beneath your dignity to have anything to do with them? (Never can tell. That could turn them right around.)

Alas, I seem to lack dignity, for one reason or another so that option is not available...

As an aside, what are patrons and those with high levels of expertise to do to avoid being seen as condescending ? re:

condescend |ˌkändəˈsend|
verb [ intrans. ]
show feelings of superiority; patronize

Might I suggest that it is impossible to condescend in a media such as this forum? If only because the display of emotions is difficult to interpret in face to face encounters and these words of mine ( and those of others) do not necessarily reflect any emotional display, whatsoever. Any emotional bias has to be inferred by the reader, perhaps even when an emotional bias is not even implied by the writer.

As far as claiming intelligence, I plead mea culpa, in that i do believe that Gardner's work has a degree to truth to it and that there other types of intelligence besides the traditional intelligence associated with the manipulations of symbols, via verbal and mathematical skills. In fact, the OP suggests that I am relatively unintelligent on the scale of Gardner's hypothesized Interpersonal Intelligence...
 

Agapooka

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[T]he majority seem to be more focused on the flaws of the Offender, rather than the flaws of the Offended.

From your wording of the OP, you made it sound like it was entirely your fault, because you started by defining yourself as having "above average intelligence" and your words as being "intelligent". With such a starting definition coming from yourself, I can see how this could impact the manner in which you might come across to others. "I am better than you."

If you want to shift focus to the flaws of the offended, you should at least give a clearer example.

A. "I make a statement and people take offense to it rather than analysing it."
versus
B. "I make an intelligent statement that goes over peoples' heads and they get frustrated."

The ideas expressed are completely different. In the latter, the offended's flaw is his unwillingness or inability to invest the energy required to understand an idea that might not interest him. The offense might be a product of how that lack of interest is interpreted (as stupidity), or by the frustration caused by jargon.

In A, we have a situation where there is interest, because the offense is a result of the idea being discussed. The analysis is not made because the reaction is emotional as opposed to rational.

But you ought to have paid more attention to the manner in which you expressed the idea...
 
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