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OK, it's on.
Insecurity/Overcoming your shadows
- Thread starter walfin
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intuitivet
You Know You're Better Than This
Well, I haven't found a way to overcome it, but my sister (INFJ) used CBT on herself to overcome negativity. Maybe try that?
Jennywocky
Creepy Clown Chick
Bring them out yourself and embrace them so they are no longer in the shadows.
Suppression is like trying to stuff the same critter into a smaller and smaller box; all it does is increase the pressure, and when it finally gets out, the explosion is bigger.
Cognisant
cackling in the trenches
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Identify your insecurities and/or fears, accept them, move on.
The acceptance of fear (for example) isn't the identification & suppression of it, instead you must do exactly what you don't want to do, give into it, openly allow yourself to feel afraid, it is after all merely a natural aspect of the human condition, nothing to be ashamed of, and then once you've allowed it to run it's course it'll inexplicably pass of its own accord, apparently having no further use of you.
...
Or perhaps there's like a "fear event horizon" that once you've crossed makes the further experience of fear meaningless, well either way I honestly dunno how it works, all I know is that it does.
As for insecurities, well lets say you’re ugly, honestly we’ve all got aspects of ourselves that we consider hideous and paradoxically we’re all surprised to find everyone else is just as insecure, if not more so. For example I’ve got big ears, and worse still they’re different sizes, but when I learnt to stop comparing myself to others and accepted myself as who and what I was, the insecurity seemed meaningless, after all I’m the perfect me, nobody else can be me better than I can be myself and likewise nor should I care if I don’t compare to them, my baseline is my body.
An apple judged by the standards of an orange will always fall short, as likewise will a orange judged by the standards of an apple.
The acceptance of fear (for example) isn't the identification & suppression of it, instead you must do exactly what you don't want to do, give into it, openly allow yourself to feel afraid, it is after all merely a natural aspect of the human condition, nothing to be ashamed of, and then once you've allowed it to run it's course it'll inexplicably pass of its own accord, apparently having no further use of you.
...
Or perhaps there's like a "fear event horizon" that once you've crossed makes the further experience of fear meaningless, well either way I honestly dunno how it works, all I know is that it does.
As for insecurities, well lets say you’re ugly, honestly we’ve all got aspects of ourselves that we consider hideous and paradoxically we’re all surprised to find everyone else is just as insecure, if not more so. For example I’ve got big ears, and worse still they’re different sizes, but when I learnt to stop comparing myself to others and accepted myself as who and what I was, the insecurity seemed meaningless, after all I’m the perfect me, nobody else can be me better than I can be myself and likewise nor should I care if I don’t compare to them, my baseline is my body.
An apple judged by the standards of an orange will always fall short, as likewise will a orange judged by the standards of an apple.
Moocow
Semantic Nitpicker
Don't be afraid to be afraid.
As for insecurities... you're perfect as you are. Anything you could possibly be insecure about is more than likely just from the abstract idea of what's normal or not, and therefore is only meaningful if you choose for it to be. Don't believe anyone else's ideas of what's right or wrong, normal or abnormal except your own.
As for insecurities... you're perfect as you are. Anything you could possibly be insecure about is more than likely just from the abstract idea of what's normal or not, and therefore is only meaningful if you choose for it to be. Don't believe anyone else's ideas of what's right or wrong, normal or abnormal except your own.
Chimera
To inanity and beyond
*checks*
You do not.
You do have a really cool hat though, can I have it? Thanks~ ^__^
*is done drawing attention to Oreo's profile picture*
You do not.
You do have a really cool hat though, can I have it? Thanks~ ^__^
*is done drawing attention to Oreo's profile picture*
On topic...oh wait, Oreo already said what I wanted to. And he used fruit. Damn...
s0nystyle
La la la la la!
fruits? what? i love strawberries!
Those are fruits right?
Those are fruits right?
Anthile
Steel marks flesh
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The terminus technicus is accessory fruit. Always beware the difference between the culinary and the botanical definition of the word fruit.
Thread Killer
Never-Around Member
Confront them. Think on the positive side. Search for personal qualities which you can feel good about, bring those qualities out. Even if you don't feel you have them, if you believe in yourself and in your possibilities and try to act out those possibilities, they become a part of you.
Cognisant
cackling in the trenches
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OreSama said:
The photo was taken on a good angle, specifically so the different sizes wouldn't be noticeable... that's what really irks me, the lack of symmetry.Chimera said:
*went looking for a Death the Kid demotivational poster, but found this instead*
So wrong, it's just right 
Thanks for the comments.
I think it is coming out now, but I am trying to control how it comes out. It isn't easy.
In any case, it was not the person that told me that I had strong shadows that made me ask this. I was asked yesterday why I kept on harping on certain negative possibilities. It's not the general pessimism that some INTPs seem to have - it's very deep pessimism on a few specific issues that always plague me, even though I do not want them to.
How do you all "let it out"?
I think it is coming out now, but I am trying to control how it comes out. It isn't easy.
In any case, it was not the person that told me that I had strong shadows that made me ask this. I was asked yesterday why I kept on harping on certain negative possibilities. It's not the general pessimism that some INTPs seem to have - it's very deep pessimism on a few specific issues that always plague me, even though I do not want them to.
How do you all "let it out"?
Fallenman
Active Member
i can identify with that question lol i realize that i need to accept my situation in life but its like how do i go about accepting it? how do i let myself be afraid? be sad? Like i'm not avoiding it i just don't know how to access it lol. My senior year of highschool I basically lost my entire immediate family due to different incidences, and I had to watch my father battle through cancer for 5 years, and I'm quite sure he was an INTX, so you can imagine the respect I had for the man. It was like watching my hero deteriorate to nothingness. I've managed well but there are residual side effects to losing that many people in a short amount of time and I'm still working through them all =/, which is where my obsession with personality types transpired from I believe =].
shadowdrums4
wierd drummer kid
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As for insecurities, I agree with what's been said here. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and all that. If there is one thing I have figured out, it's that you always judge yourself way more harshly than you judge anyone else, and no one else judges you near as harshly as you judge yourself. Once you realize this, insecurities go away.
Lobstrich
Prolific Member
If that came from you, and not from some book you read. You are truly wise.
Absolutely fucking true. God damn.
Philosophyking87
It Thinks For Itself
I have been absolutely tormented by my INTP shadows. For instance, I'm afraid of ever getting a job and still have never attempted. The process of being scrutinized by some potential employer just drives me nuts. There's much fear there. I'm also insecure about my driving abilities. I have a license and drive every now and then, but it's not something I find comfortable at all. And then there's social settings and the external world; I tend to have a difficult time actually engaging with people out in the real world with ease.
Then there's my general laziness and tendency to procrastinate. I get nothing done on time and I am completely unorganized. And, my time management skills are atrocious. If I start doing something remotely interesting, I'll become completely absorbed and shut out the world around me, which usually leaves me forgetting important events.
There are other problems I have, psychologically, but I'd rather not go into details. And, be that as it may, it's just incredibly difficult to function in an SJ-dominated world. I frequently experience anxiety and stress due to my horrible inclinations, which is not fun at all.
I've been criticized and judged by people of other types (especially extroverts, sensors, and judgers) my whole life. It's pretty annoying. You end up feeling like a broken product that just isn't worth much at all. But, I'm slowly working on my compulsions and whatnot, and hopefully I'll actually overcome my insecurities and master my habits.
Then there's my general laziness and tendency to procrastinate. I get nothing done on time and I am completely unorganized. And, my time management skills are atrocious. If I start doing something remotely interesting, I'll become completely absorbed and shut out the world around me, which usually leaves me forgetting important events.
There are other problems I have, psychologically, but I'd rather not go into details. And, be that as it may, it's just incredibly difficult to function in an SJ-dominated world. I frequently experience anxiety and stress due to my horrible inclinations, which is not fun at all.
I've been criticized and judged by people of other types (especially extroverts, sensors, and judgers) my whole life. It's pretty annoying. You end up feeling like a broken product that just isn't worth much at all. But, I'm slowly working on my compulsions and whatnot, and hopefully I'll actually overcome my insecurities and master my habits.
onthewindowstand
Active Member
Screw them dude. People love attacking others that are superior to themselves.
Philosophyking87
It Thinks For Itself
lol
Philosophyking87
It Thinks For Itself
I suppose. It's just annoying being constantly criticized by lesser beings.
haha
Lobstrich
Prolific Member
I know I might be a bit insensitive now.
Like stated above. "Screw them!"
You need to just stand up, stop worrying about some stupid ass employer (Who might actually be nice, you never know) Or ignorant kids that have nothing better to do then pick on people. Just say fuck you, or ignore them if you don't feel like starting a conflict. Just don't whine.
Back in school I got picked on all the time as well. I never fit in.
And I cried a couple of times. But you need to just bring those fuckers a fight. (Sorry for the swearing, not very sophisticated for a INTP forum, haha. But it adds the volume of my "seriousness"
)I myself, have a problem engaging people socially, as you do.
but I bet you have friends. And nobody is asking you to go hit every party in your area. I don't enjoy parties myself. In fact I don't even drink alchohol (And that's legal whenever. You're just not able to buy it before you're 16)
So that's very out of the ordinary.
Just get up, drive your car around, drive it to whatever job you want, or ask your buddies to drive wherever. It's alot more productive then actually knowing you have a problem and just writing it down for us to read it.
(Again, I'd like to point out that I'm not being insensitive for no reason. I'm just NOT the person you want to ask if you want comforting. I don't think INTP's are in general)
