I dont like to feel like im imposing myself on others

[UppyDownyMouth]

anyone else feel the same way? Leading a conversation i often feel like i should make sure that everyone else actually wants to talk about it. I find it really interesting but i often wonder if everyone else cant be bothered. Often completely unfounded.

 

[Kidege]

Hello and welcome.

Fair warning: you might become known as "mouthy". And according to your post, it would be unfounded.


Re the OP: Yep, often.

 

[Ashenstar]

Hmmm... not really.
As far as conversation I talk about things that I'm interested in or I stay quiet. What usually ends up happening is that my conversations are short lived because no one wants to chat about giant squids, how sulfuric acid burns skin, or the tasty vegan cupcakes I made.. well actually people seem to like to chat about the cupcakes. Usually people try and feign interest in what I'm talking about or they just kinda go.. "oh yeah....?" and perhaps add another sentence or two and throw in a strange look at me somewhere along the way.

 

[flow]

Lol Giant Squids!? I talk about those bastards any chance I get! I can't believe only the Japanese have been able to film them alive so far, and that footage was fucking shit.

 

[UppyDownyMouth]

Hello and welcome.

Cheers

To add to the last few posts

The thing is, i tend to go very deep into topics i like... However it makes me laugh how a girl can talk about nothing but hair and makeup and thats seemingly enough for some people.... I guess i have double standards but when i go out i want some meaningful conversation, not drunken drivel.

It also might interest you to know i am a giant squid.

 

[flow]

Those girls talking about their hair and makeup are sensory oriented, so of course they talk about the material world. If you find intuitive girls, they also laugh at the conversations of hair and makeup. Unless their hair/makeup sucks or is particularly bad ass on that given night.

 

[Ashenstar]

Lol Giant Squids!? I talk about those bastards any chance I get! I can't believe only the Japanese have been able to film them alive so far, and that footage was fucking shit.

Giant squids are one of the few things in this world that actually scare me. It's completely irrational and I will probably never see one... but *shudder* all I have to do is think about how big their eyes are...... about the size of a dinner plate or a human head.. just...gah.

 

[flow]

I'm more scared of their giant beaks. FUCK.

 

[UppyDownyMouth]

Giant squids are one of the few things in this world that actually scare me. It's completely irrational and I will probably never see one... but *shudder* all I have to do is think about how big their eyes are...... about the size of a dinner plate or a human head.. just...gah.

have you seen 7 pounds?

not that theres a squid or anything.... i was just wondering how far your deep sea fish phobia goes

 

[Ashenstar]

Cheers

To add to the last few posts

The thing is, i tend to go very deep into topics i like... However it makes me laugh how a girl can talk about nothing but hair and makeup and thats seemingly enough for some people.... I guess i have double standards but when i go out i want some meaningful conversation, not drunken drivel.

It also might interest you to know i am a giant squid.

Oh the girls that talk about hair and makeup all the time. *le sigh* Sure I can chat about that sometimes.... but tire of it very quickly. I tend to not laugh.. more like shake my head and imagine one of them breaking their ankle as they are walking in their high heels.. wait.. I wear high heels too... sometimes I imagine one getting hit buy a bus. *shrug*


you are a giant squid? *runs and hides*
Yes, their beaks! Then I start wondering if anyone has ever been eaten alive by a giant squid and I imagine myself on a boat.. looking over the side at the water on a beautiful day. Suddenly it gets stormy and dark and there is this eye... a huge eye staring at me... ok i gotta stop.

No I have never seen 7 Pounds

 

[UppyDownyMouth]

you are a giant squid? *runs and hides*

We're really not so bad. We get a bad rep thats all. Whats wrong with being big?

 

[warryer]

All the time OP. This is kind of what I was talking about in my Power & Manipulation thread.

At this point in time I have had to assume the leader roll in a couple of groups for school (*gasp* I know an INTP as lead?? I did it out of necessity) but anyhow I always find myself trying to get an input out of every single person so I don't step on any toes. It takes more time but I think the people just want an assignment from me.... Isn't there some statistic that says half the population are leaders and the other half are followers?

It seems that the reason for doing so is fear of not getting ALL of the possible information to be able to make the best choice. My 2 cents.

 

[Tunesimah]

I do find I'm often talking about other peoples topics of conversation... that they lead the conversation. And when I try to introduce a topic it gets pushed to the side

I have a hard time 'turning down' a conversation as it were. While others are ready at an instant to disregard what I'm interested in.

Maybe it's a matter of perspective and I'm making something out of nothing. I don't know.

I don't think this is specifically INTP related, but another personality trait altogether...

 

[UppyDownyMouth]

All the time OP. This is kind of what I was talking about in my Power & Manipulation thread.

(*gasp* I know an INTP as lead?? I did it out of necessity)

It's strange because when i was younger i used to lead relentlessly and really enjoyed it, but i still hated authority. Now being put in a position of superiority just doesnt seem to mean anything, but then i suppose it depends on the job. the reason i usually end up leading, is if i think my leadership would end with good/ better results and ive been egged on by others and i care about the project. I do think INTPs get picked to lead and make good leaders, its just that i dont think we really 'need' it as much as other types might.

did your leadership go well?

personally im mainly concerned with the social aspect... i am trying to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves. At work i often just want the job done.... but thats not to say i still dont frequently request peoples input which can lead to it being more of a team effort.

ps
whats OP? Original Poster?

 

[Vrecknidj]

It's amazing how much we can learn about other people by taking them seriously instead of writing them off. Try listening to what's behind what's being said when in the company of people talking about hair and make-up. You might be surprised what else is actually going on.

Dave

 

[warryer]

Yup OP = original poster (or post)

I am doing well with my leadership role. I don't know what it is but it seems we have that dominant personality. Its strange because I have a good idea of what needs to be done and yet when it comes to personal things I find myself afraid to try new things b/c of fear of failure.

I see what you're saying now. I have a hard time initiating the conversation myself because past experience has shown me that some people just aren't interested in hearing about why I think small turbines are the future of energy (you get the idea). Seems to be what others are saying as well.

One thing I have found is talking about "shit that's happened to me" seems to be a good topic of conversation. Let's other people have the opportunity to give some input about stuff that might have happened to them and about what kind of person I am. Ultimately, its about getting past that getting to know you phase. After that you can talk about anything.

 

[phantome]

OP- it's quite funny since this was a topic I was thinking about a few days ago. Short answer? YES. I hate talking about myself for fear that the people I'm talking to are not interested
even though most of the time they are...I'm working on it x]

 

[UppyDownyMouth]

It's amazing how much we can learn about other people by taking them seriously instead of writing them off. Try listening to what's behind what's being said when in the company of people talking about hair and make-up. You might be surprised what else is actually going on.

Dave

great point

 

[SEPKA]

It's amazing how much we can learn about other people by taking them seriously instead of writing them off. Try listening to what's behind what's being said when in the company of people talking about hair and make-up. You might be surprised what else is actually going on.

Dave

I like this one. I usually sit with the talkative girl to hear what they are talking about. Although I forgot (because not interested) most of them, some information are quite useful.

 

[walfin]

I like this one. I usually sit with the talkative girl to hear what they are talking about. Although I forgot (because not interested) most of them, some information are quite useful.

Not to mention that hair and make-up know-how also makes for good general knowledge.

That said, I find that this problem (I think it is a problem) is fundamentally fear of conflict.