I don't know what to do.

[Smoookin]

Hey, I have no idea how to start this so I'll just jump right in. I feel completely lost, as if the world is moving forward and I'm standing still.
I'm somewhere between INTP and ISTP (not sure which) and I've been lurking around for quiet some time now.

I live in Sweden and I turned 19 about a week ago, it's been about 6 months since I graduated from High School and I've literally done nothing all this time.
Since I was completely uninterested the last year of High School my grades suffered and I do not have the grades needed for higher education so if I want to go to Collage I'll first have to study for about half a year.
I've never held on a job and I currently live at home with my parents, I got no more than €200 in my bank account and I've slowly been drifting apart from my friends. I still go out and meet people but been doing it less often.

I feel completely stuck, got no idea what I want to do but feels like I need to do something, don't know how to do it or what to do. I can't continue like this.

Not really sure why I post this but guess I just want it out there, for what it's worth..

 

[crippli]

Can you afford vacation? Going to a warmer climate, in relaxing circumstances for a few months may be a good idea, to clear the thoughts.

 

[downsowf]

I live in Sweden and I turned 19 about a week ago, it's been about 6 months since I graduated from High School and I've literally done nothing all this time.

Please switch places with me. Your life sounds amazing. I've never been to Sweden either.

 

[sammael]

It would appear to be extremely common for not just young people, but people in general to be unsure or even have no idea at all about the direction they want their lives to take. Of course this is exuberated by youth and dreams and hope, it is perhaps both a blessing and a curse that we have so much choice.

Here in New Zealand, where it is ridiculously easy to get into tertiary education, the universities are full of students studying in areas they will not follow, and student debt is often huge. But there does seem to be somewhat of a gap between leaving school and figuring out a path, and it has to be filled somehow.

I left school at 16, left home with just my car and about $700. I had no idea where I was going, what I wanted to do. I ended up in the city, worked for a while, travelled the country a bit. Between that time and 20, when I went to uni, I did warehousing work, forestry, silviculture, construction, orchard work and a few other odd things. I met some strange and interesting people, had both good and bad experiences, learnt new skills, and learnt a lot about myself. Personally I think that time of drifting was very important, and I needed it.

Props to the people that have it all figured out and just go for what they want, but for me my dreams are fluid, and change, I like flexibility. I suggest you just do something, anything. Find some work, even if it's menial and/or not for long. Go and do the study you need. At the least you will learn something, and it will help you figure out who you are and where you want to go. I know what it's like to be stuck, and how unproductive it can be. Sometimes external commitments can be good, they can inspire and push us to move.

 

[EditorOne]

I'd have given a lot to have a year or two of respite from college at age 19. That would have been outside the demographic norms for my family, though.

I find myself telling younger people this all the time, it seems: Be patient with yourself. Don't drift into feeling vaguely guilty. Just wait, soak up experiences and information, and sometime in the next 24 months you'll experience an epiphany. It is important, thought, to get out of your head and stay out with folks, where you can interact. You benefit if your mind has stuff to work on and chew on and process that is coming from the outside, not just the inside. Otherwise your insights are not as rich and -- struggling for a word or phrase -- ok: they are not as ultimately actionable as you need to take a next step.

 

[Da Blob]

Get a job, or two or three. Eventually, you may find one you are good at and others aren't. If you enjoy that job take the relevant courses that will improve your performance or provide you with the necessary credentials to advance in that field.

Also, one might find that compared to working for a living, going to school is the easier/better path and those educational tasks that seemed so onerous when forced to perform them as a child can be quite enjoyable when one chooses to accept them as intellectual challenges as an adult.

One does need to make provision for the future, but that does not mean one has to sacrifice the joy of Now to do so...

 

[pjoa09]

Whoa fuck, scarily similar to my situation! I too can't figure between INTP and ISTP. My grades were shit and ended up working in the family business right after graduating from High School. It's alright. I tried going to university, I just submitted my application and never showed up to pay the tuition fees.

I can totally relate to that "drift" feeling. I just have so much time but no real time. Work seems to be the only way to avoid the aggravation of this stand still feel.

You might wind up in some odd obsession. I got obsessed with the BMW E30 and E34. Planning on getting an E30.

Vacations didn't help. I just end up wondering what am I doing.


Best advice, get a job.

 

[Minuend]

Get a job, it doesn't have to be fun. Then eventually you'll have an epiphany, like E1 said. Take your time, think. You're only 19, and they will probably discover some sort of age-slowing-device within our time line, so we're gonna be like shitty ass old.

Read up on some subjects that interest you, you might find something you want to pursue.

I started right in uni without having any sense of direction. Huge mistake. Wasted 2 and a half years, then worked for another 1 and a half before I realized I wanted to become the awesomeness that is physicist.

 

[Vegard Pompey]

Huh. Your situation is quite similar to mine. I'm Swedish, am turning 19 in four days and dropped out of gymnasium sometime in the spring. Now I too am stuck with my parents. And I too get that feeling that the world is moving away from me; with the global economy in flux, it would be nice to have a piece of the world before it runs out.

I don't really have much in the way of advice. Just take heart in the fact that you're probably not stuck in the same dreary population 300-village somewhere north of the polar circle as I am. Unless you are, in which case we should hang out.

Also, welcome to the forum.

 

[Chronomar]

Don't drift into feeling vaguely guilty.

This, in my opinion, is very important and great advice.

If you start feeling guilty, your self-esteem lowers and chronic procrastination will set in...and because the guilt is vague, there are no specific things to do to address the unknown problem(s).

(also 19, btw, and am getting to following that advice right about now)

I recommend reaching out to people you know, (family, community, etc.) and speaking openly about not knowing what to do next. Who knows, maybe someone will have a job opening they could recommend you for?

 

[Vrecknidj]

It's not easy being 19. You've spent 18 years practicing at life, but, you've been a child that entire time and so you're really good at being a child. Alas, you're now an adult, and you have virtually no practice at being an adult. From a certain point of view, you're an infant again, but your infancy is a prelude to adulthood rather than a prelude to childhood.

It feels weird.

And then it passes.

You'll be okay.

 

[Jah]

Find something to focus attention on.

Pick any aspect of your life, and improve upon it, for a while.
When you're ready, move on to the next thing.


In the meantime; Find some job to do, go out every now and again, get social (to stay grounded. Wish I'd have done this earlier.), get laid, and enjoy life.
You're only 19, so you've plenty of time for anything you want still.

(if you want to get rich, do that, if you want to get strong, you do that.)


consider the coming years a set-point for your future life. (next 10-15 years)
Both in terms of body composition, mental agility/grit/determination, ability to deal with challenges... etc.

Might as well get you hooked on coffee already.


Also, remind yourself to wake up. (Still in experimental phase for me, but once in a while, it does lead to more determined action... so might be worth checking this out.)