I am so lonely

[JarNew]

Lonliness

YouTube - Akon - Mr.Lonely

It's pathetic.

I have friends, I talk to my friends -- but still, I feel alone.

I don't even realize it until I take my adhd medication, because normally I have so much random nonsense streaming through my mind, and I have so many different mediums of entertainment to distract myself with that it's as if I as an individual, doesn't even exist!

I just engulf my self in stimulus!

Also I like to get to know people personally, I like to know what pisses them off and what makes them laugh hysterically. I like having an emotional connection with people.

My friends, it seems like they're just concerned with as finding as many people who are just like themselves as they can. It's ridiculous and I'm pathetic but they're like a colony of dinosaurs searching eachother out as if they're about to go extinct.

I shouldn't be lonely but I am.

Should I blame my friends or my self? Or should I accept my lonlieness and continue to live in this robot like state where time just ticks away, where I gain no genuine foundation to my self, where I continue to live essentially as a ghost

waiting to be sucked into a machine and sent to a salvia-trip induced dimension created by this fuck's parents

So people of INTP forum, may I ask: how do you deal with lonliness? Do you as predominantly INTP's even get lonely? When I believed I was an INTP and did activities which seemed to be common for INTPs I was never lonely.

:smiley_emoticons_mr

 

[Glordag]

I get lonely for sure. I used to socialize quite a bit, but these days I have a much harder time connecting and enjoying people. I don't think you need to blame anyone, and I also don't think it has to be so bleak. Loneliness has been a virtue for me in its own right, because I've really gotten to establish a connection with myself that I've been missing for a while. I've never felt so in tune with my own reality. Use your solitude to build on the meaning in your life and figure out what you want.

 

[JarNew]

Thanks for the reply.

I also, have definitely built a connection with my self though my solitude. I've developed a unique, individual self too because I used to think this was what life was about, well I Still do but I now realize others see life differently.

The thing is, I feel like I can't share my self with anyone. Because it seems like people around me, don't really share themselves. It's as if they only share a part of themself which they've built from the outside, whereas I've built my self from the inside.

Their confidence comes from their external looks, from the music they listen too, from how they talk and the words they use.

Mine comes from my beliefs, my values and the meaning I've found.

It's as if I'm in a totally different world

There's been time's I've felt amazingly in tune with my reality, but at the prime of these feelings -- I feel disconnected from the material reality we all dwell in making it harder to connect with my peers.

Also to all who read this. I'm not making this thread in order to whine about my life, I hope others can learn from it, and will share their own experiences/ feelings/ beliefs/ thoughts, so we can all learn and influence the collective unconscious of humanity for the better.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Have you told any of this to your friends and family?

Edit: Besides us.

 

[Cogwulf]

So people of INTP forum, may I ask: how do you deal with lonliness?

I mainly just distract myself from it. It could be said that I just don't deal with it.

I have friends, but no one I can be intimate with. I'm just going about my life as normal and waiting for something to happen which changes it, but that is probably not the most effective approach

 

[JarNew]

Have you told any of this to your friends and family?

Edit: Besides us.

No Frosty I have not as I kind of view my friends and family as the cause for my lonliness. My family are no fun and are not mentally stimulating, they're also (for the most part) crazy christians -- so I do not like spending time with them.

I wouldn't tell my friends about it either due to their judgemental nature. Like Cogwulf I can't be intimate with my friends. They're just not like that, you could call them superficial but that's just how they are.

It makes me happy you consider me your friend. :heartsmiley:

I mainly just distract myself from it. It could be said that I just don't deal with it.

I have friends, but no one I can be intimate with. I'm just going about my life as normal and waiting for something to happen which changes it, but that is probably not the most effective approach

I guess I'm doing the same. IT doesn't seem like the most effective approach -- your right. "normal life" doesn't get switched or shaken up too often if you know what I mean.

 

[Melkor]

Ahahahahahahahahahaha.

You're on the wrong forum m'colleague.

 

[JarNew]

Die

LOL

 

[Melkor]

Alright-alright, I'd be a hypocrite if I said I hadn't done this before so... er...

Hug?

(Seriously though, if you're looking sympathy on INTPf you'll only get it from those you know incredibly well, or the non-INTP's. Mostly you'll just get sarcasm, comic commentary and idle banter.:P)

 

[JarNew]

Hug.

I'm not looking for sympathy at all, I get my sympathy in mental hospitals. Sympathy in the form of text is lame

I was just making a dramatic post 4 more replies. I'm interested in seeing how others deal with it. In order to see if we're in the same boat, or the same ocean

 

[Melkor]

Hug.

I'm not looking for sympathy at all, I get my sympathy in mental hospitals. Sympathy in the form of text is lame

I was just making a dramatic post 4 more replies. I'm interested in seeing how others deal with it. In order to see if we're in the same boat, or the same ocean

Then I think within the context of this forum you have just lost gravely.

*Shrug*

I'm outta here!

 

[descendant]

yeah I feel lonely sometimes
I fill my emptiness by playing games, watch animes, watch movies, read lots and lots of manga, read a lot of stuffs, spam randomly in some forums and some other stuffs like eating, sleeping, etc...
so with that I don't feel lonely anymore
owh and I have a cat to talk to

 

[Glordag]

owh and I have a cat to talk to

OMG KITTAH!!!!!!!!

 

[AlisaD]

Well, what I may suggest as the first step towards avoiding loneliness is that you stop trying to manipulate people. For two reasons:
a) You seem to be quite bad at it
b) Even if you do succeed, the responses you'll get will be inappropriate and leave you feeling lonely, because they are not responses to who or what you really are, but to this image you display

Also, people are starting to think you're a bit a an arsehole.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Most of the time I don't care. I feel lonely on occasion, though I haven't felt it strongly as of late. I'm happy being a loner, and look forward to eventually meeting the one. I don't feel the need to rush it.

I still have a lot of self learning and self development to do.

 

[Puffy]

All I can say is loneliness breeds loneliness.

I think my biggest problem is that I grew up feeling rejected and so I felt like an alien. This was initially innocent, the problem is once a label like that sinks enough you start trying to find justification for it in anything, because that is all you understand. For example, I created a myth for myself around my birth which justified it. Being born both blind and with a number of mental difficulties I used this to say I had always been different to other people.

Of late I am turning to philosophies that encourage me to interpret the world as I see it. Which is fine, but that also breeds loneliness and disconnection depending on how it is taken. It encourages creating a world with a community of 1 if one has no one else to share that world with. My negative reaction to the concept of 'social memory' in my studies was sign enough for me that my alien identity has likely gone too far. It was that others might define my reality which scared me. Why? Because while I would love to be a part of a community deep down I am scared this would betray myself for it was these communities that rejected me and hurt me in the first place.

In short, in terms of loneliness, you are usually your own worst enemy. Though I can only comment on my own experience of it. Some of your thoughts seemed similar to mine though, and I know some of mine are quite self-destructive. Finding meaning and creating art is great - even knowing more about yourself - but loneliness and disconnection come from feeling incomplete. We are incomplete without other people.

[Thanks to Polaris who inspired this, I will respond to your comment on my thread when I find the time today]

 

[final-dimension]

I feel more lonely when I am actually with others. I don't feel lonely when I am by myself which is just weird...

 

[MoonPhantom]

I feel more lonely when I am actually with others. I don't feel lonely when I am by myself which is just weird...

Finally, and I actually thought that I am the only one.
I do think that while being alone, I fool myself by thinking that all my friends and fellows are fun to be with and I keep a great relationship with them. But the moment I meet with them, I can`t hold on more then 15 minutes. After that, I am scheming a way to get out and be with myself for a bit.
So it would mean that when I`m alone, I do think of other people better and do not feel lonely, but when I do meet them, I get a feeling of rejection and quit.
I have good friends, but I like to keep a fair distance from them, and that is what makes me think of them like that, even though it might sound selfish.
So yeah, I do enjoy loneliness.

 

[final-dimension]

Finally, and I actually thought that I am the only one.
I do think that while being alone, I fool myself by thinking that all my friends and fellows are fun to be with and I keep a great relationship with them. But the moment I meet with them, I can`t hold on more then 15 minutes. After that, I am scheming a way to get out and be with myself for a bit.
So it would mean that when I`m alone, I do think of other people better and do not feel lonely, but when I do meet them, I get a feeling of rejection and quit.
I have good friends, but I like to keep a fair distance from them, and that is what makes me think of them like that, even though it might sound selfish.
So yeah, I do enjoy loneliness.

That is exactly what I feel,I can't help it...

 

[Andropov]

How about you stop being a boring psuedo-intellectual shithead. Just an idea. Sorry to be rude, but you aren't unique and you aren't special. You, just like everybody else, is an imperfectly evolved being living in a deterministic and uncaring world. Life is a ride, so strap the fuck in and enjoy it and stop being a petulant child.

 

[JarNew]

HOW U GONNA TELL ME WUH MUH LIFE IS????

I am a perfectly evolved being, hence why I'm here alive, breathing, and conscious -- replying to your nihilistic self-limiting nonsense.

My neurochemistry is unique, my experiences are unique, my finger print is unique, I AM QUITE SPECIAL!

Perhaps your world is deterministic and uncaring, but mine is NOT! My SPECIAL UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL choices decide my future! I determine my future! Uncaring!?!? WHAT! The universe has shown me cosmic love many a times.

Perhaps you havn't experienced the cosmic caring love of the universe because you've trapped your self in a little black and white cage that's on a one way conveyer-belt headed straight to death. Is that the amazing ride called life you speak of? Who are you BILL MAHER LOL CANCER R.I.P.

plz do not project your INSANE paradigms of your self on2 me plz
BESIDES MATE

HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO ENJOY LIFE IF I AM LONELY!?!?! LONLINESS LEADS TO DEPRESSION, LEADING ME INTO MY BED TO STARE AT MY WALL. NO ENERGY = NO MOVEMENT MAN
GOTTA HEAL MY SOUL WITH MY INTP BRETHREN

 

[Cavallier]

Ugh. Obvious troll is obvious and all that.

Can we bump this idiot yet?

 

[Minuend]

^I agree with my general.

 

[Anthile]

Like Buddha once said: Get over it.

 

[Wizardry]

I don't really have any advice since you can't usually plan for that kind of connection. You just randomly roam the world and communicate until you find it. My brother is awesome for removing my loneliness this I can just tell him anything I want and it isn't "weird" and he actually listens.

 

[Yet]

I only feel lonely when I am at occasions everybody seems to connect and have stupid fun about trivial stuff I do not get.
I avoid them ... so I do not feel lonely a lot
Hanging out with most people for more than half hour tires me / costs me a lot of 'energy' ... I get bored with a lot of people or get annoyed (I must be a bitch).

But besides that I know a few people I do connect with (thank god for internet) and meet up with now and again. With them I get in a flow, have fun (shared sense of humor and interests does wonders) ... and I do not feel lonely at all.

How I deal with it: I look further than the people I would have met in daily life.

 

[Solitaire U.]

No Frosty I have not as I kind of view my friends and family as the cause for my lonliness.

Therein lies your problem.