How do you feel emotions?

[Da Blob]

I have the same problem. For example, I remember that once, in grade school, it was my birthday, and in the morning two people brought me gifts (bags of new clothes, in fact, though I never really cared about new clothes). I was kind of overwhelmed, not sure how I should thank them, so I just tried to act gratefully surprised. Later, one of them told me that she had thought I would cry (out of joy). It made me feel very awkward, as I didn't want to offend her, so I just said, "oh."

Huh! I never cared much for new clothes either, is this something else that INTPs have in common?
Every child learns to mask emotions at a certain stage, yet it seems that we have to do the opposite -we have to learn to mask 'unemotions' (?)

 

[Jesin]

Wait, what?

They expected tears of joy? Over new clothes?

 

[soloratii]

Wait, what?

They expected tears of joy? Over new clothes?

One of them. She was very outgoing and was always completely at ease around other people; she filled the silence without effort. Since she shared her thoughts so openly, it was easy to see her intentions (not that they were bad, but she was very open).

Huh! I never cared much for new clothes either, is this something else that INTPs have in common?
Every child learns to mask emotions at a certain stage, yet it seems that we have to do the opposite -we have to learn to mask 'unemotions' (?)

Probably. Or, we might also have to learn to mask our emotions during those rare times when it emerges, raw and immature - but it's hard to control that.

 

[shunt the frupup]

INTPs are always being described as being detached from their emotions. This is such a vague statement. What exactly does it mean? Do you feel the emotions, know they are there, but they don't directly effect you that much? After giving it a lot of thought that is what it sounds like being detached from emotions would be.

I don't feel that. I feel an emptiness. A void. Like there is nothing there at all. When my grandma had a heart attack then a week later died instead of feeling sadness I felt emptiness. Like there was something I should be feeling but don't. When I'm with this one girl I feel an emptiness where there should be something else. When my basketball team won the league tournament where I should feel happy I felt emptiness. Is this being an INTP or is this something else?

Being like this isn't constant. There are times where I feel happy, I laugh at just about anything in these moods and act very oddly. But it doesn't seem real seems....wrong somehow.

I enjoy the emptiness I simply seek understanding. Is this being an INTP or is this something else entirely.

I didnt want to read all the other replies but jsut wanna say i know wxactly what you mean and you explained it perfectly. I think its hard for us to directly experience some things because we are really outside looking in, so far outside that we are even looking at ourselves, i guess we dont fully participate in life in a way.

as you said its not 100% of the time but certainly 50% or more.

I've noticed it many times but actually I quite like it most of the time, and I will fully enjoy the moment of not being in the moment if you get me, and make the most out of it by qestioning everything i can about it and how it happens.

 

[Perseus]

My Intuition (auxilary process anyway) is much higher than my Feelings and what I may feel to be emotion is my Intuition kicking in. This is Introspective (nonsense) and may be operating on a long term plan. I avoid (instinctively) short term fun with the Pony girl (ESFJ) because my Intuition says No.

More likely though, my Intuition will kick in because I will get beaten up if I go out with the girl, or she will steal from me. My Intution susses. Nothing to do with feelings. For these to emerge, I have to feel safe enough to come outr of my Cave/Shell/Barrow.

 

[Weliddryn]

I can never figure out my emotions; they are a confusion to me. I can go from being completely unaware of them to having embarrassing outbursts. Most of the time I am very serious, but I have a contrary playful side, as well, that I usually keep in check. I distrust my emotions, most of the time, and tend to try and analyze them- what am I feeling? what is making me feel this? after I understand it, I wait for them to pass and forget them.
I used to (and still do, at times) pretend to feel emotion to help me deal with the social aspects of my life (such as going to school).
I am currently in a confused and depressed phase, so I am probably not a good person to comment on this, right now.....
Apologies, maybe somebody might get some use of it.....

 

[Da Blob]

the above posts seem to be talking about several different issues

Some seem to be describing what is termed Affective Disorders,
perhaps a mild form of Autism or Asperger's syndrome....

(from Wiki)
Social interaction
Further information: Asperger syndrome and interpersonal relationships
The lack of demonstrated empathy is possibly the most dysfunctional aspect of Asperger syndrome.[2]

Individuals with AS experience difficulties in basic elements of social interaction, which may include a failure to develop friendships or to seek shared enjoyments or achievements with others (for example, showing others objects of interest), a lack of social or emotional reciprocity, and impaired nonverbal behaviors in areas such as eye contact, facial expression, posture, and gesture.[1]

Unlike those with autism
, people with AS are not usually withdrawn around others; they approach others, even if awkwardly, for example by engaging in a one-sided, long-winded speech about a favorite topic while misunderstanding or not recognizing the listener's feelings or reactions, such as need for privacy or haste to leave.[5] This social awkwardness has been called "active but odd".[1]

This failure to react appropriately to social interaction may appear as disregard for other people's feelings, and may come across as insensitive.[5] The cognitive ability of children with AS often lets them articulate social norms in a laboratory context,[1] where

they may be able to show a theoretical understanding of other people's emotions; they typically have difficulty acting on this knowledge in fluid, real-life situations, however.[5] People with AS may analyze and distill their observation of social interaction into rigid behavioral guidelines and apply these rules in awkward ways—such as forced eye contact—resulting in demeanor that appears rigid or socially naive. Childhood desires for companionship can be numbed through a history of failed social encounters.[1]

Others seem to talk of just being generally suspicious of "E"motions, with perhaps, very good reasons,
Personally, I have found that some Types are adept at the manipulation of the 'E'motions of others, thereby motivating them into self-defeating behaviors...
Seemingly there are many who are motivated,primarily, by emotions and not by logic....(?)

 

[Weliddryn]

No, Blob, I do not have any mental disorders. I am just reserved until I store up too many emotions that I don't pay attention to, and I just kind of blow, but not with anger, in most cases.
The reason I do not react with anger is because of my upbringing.

 

[Luzian]

I can never figure out my emotions; they are a confusion to me. I can go from being completely unaware of them to having embarrassing outbursts. Most of the time I am very serious, but I have a contrary playful side, as well, that I usually keep in check. I distrust my emotions, most of the time, and tend to try and analyze them- what am I feeling? what is making me feel this? after I understand it, I wait for them to pass and forget them.
I used to (and still do, at times) pretend to feel emotion to help me deal with the social aspects of my life (such as going to school).
I am currently in a confused and depressed phase, so I am probably not a good person to comment on this, right now.....
Apologies, maybe somebody might get some use of it.....

You need to practice your emotions with someone. You'll trust them one day, so as long as you don't keep avoiding them.

 

[Weliddryn]

That was posted terribly, I was trying to come post it during school, while I was not allowed on there and I did not describe myself properly.

 

[Luzian]

That was posted terribly, I was trying to come post it during school, while I was not allowed on there and I did not describe myself properly.

Does it matter?

 

[Weliddryn]

To me, yes. All in all, no.

 

[sagewolf]

I don't suppose you could explain again then?

From what you said: I feel like that too. My emotions are either all over the place, or buried so deep down inside I don't even feel them. A lot of the time, I'll misread them, because I'm so unused to them generally. A good example is when I'm upset: I think I'm mad or annoyed a lot of the time, until I start crying. It's then that I realise that I'm not actually mad, or that my anger was an immediate reaction, or a mask, to being hurt. If my brain didn't send those *cry now* signals to my eyes and throat, I wouldn't have a clue.

Our inferior/fourth function is Fe, though, so our only extraverted conscious judging function is our most immature one. Fe deals with value judgements and tends to be a more immediate function than Ti, though (from what I know), so when we're forced to make a decision or react to something suddenly, that's what takes over. What we think is important, with almost no real refinement (although they're also sincere and real). That's what leads to the outbursts you spoke of. (Marvel at my rudimentary understanding of type theory!) There are a million and one threads here on the Fe function and how we relate to it, if you want to seek them out. I'm too lazy to search-and-link at midnight.

 

[Weliddryn]

Alright, attempt two on more sleep.

I am typically very reserved, unexpressive and feel the void that many have mentioned before. When I do feel emotion, I study it, as stated before, and leave it. I do not trust my emotions, because I feel that they are a hinderence and I don't trust people enough to reveal my emotions to them. I suppose I am insecure and suspicious of most people.

I want to say that when I do not pay attention to my emotions, I go though outbrusts, but this is not true. It isn't that I do not pay attention to them, its that I don't know what I am feeling. Than, after a while of feeling emotionless, or so little emotion that I barely notice it I will have an out burst that typically comes in two ways.

1. Breakdown. The typical breakdown, I don't really want to get into it. I typically want to be left alone like this, more than usual.
2. Contrary Out burst. This is when I let myself lighten up a bit. It rarely happens, but on occasion I suppose everyone has to lighten up. I typically disagree with anything and everything just for fun. I typically regret doing this because I find it embarrassing. I suppose that is because I feel like I'm letting my self control slip.

I hope this clears this matter up, SageWolf.

And also, Luzian, at least right now, pracitsing my emotions is not possible. I will take your advice into consideration, in the future, however.

 

[sagewolf]

I generally just break down and cry/go-completely-emo-for-hours, or I do math (step on my Fe some more by engaging the Ti). I know this isn't good for my mentally and I should talk to someone about it, but... what you said. There's no-one I trust.

What I need is a payphone somewhere in the middle of a crowded city street (so no-one pays attention to me) and an hour's worth of rambling to some poor volunteer on a helpline. If there's no face and I don't know them, then there is no potential for trust whatsoever, which is better than no trust where there should be trust (as with a friend or parent). Also, if they make fun of me and think I'm stupid, why do I care? I don't know them and they don't know me.

 

[Ermine]

That would be an interesting business, telecounseling.

However, when I'm experiencing a breakdown, I would be even more uncomfortable with a payphone than I already am. I usually just write it down, sketch it out, play piano, anything but talk. When I'm confused by my emotions, I go with art, since it's the best thing I know of for illustrating emotions.

 

[Luzian]

Don't be weak and pathetic, WORK ON YOUR Fe!!!

 

[echoplex]

I feel emotions quite powerfully, and I believe everyone else does too.

In terms of MBTI, every type has F as a significant function in one way or another, it's just that we have it as a shadow function, but it's still very important. As our aspirational function, Fe is a huge part of our growth, even if it isn't our preferred way of interacting with the world.

I tend to put my feelings through a complex filter, and if they 'pass inspections' I embrace them.

 

[echoplex]

Oh, and as far as feeling emptiness after someone close dies, I think, for me at least, that this is kind of an INTP thing. I think we tend to view everything, even death, as an intellectual pursuit. While death is saddening, it also sparks alot of questions. Questions about religion, morality, and the best way to remember and honor someone, among other things.

The problem is that while we're so busy trying to figure all of this out (which is often impossible anyway), we forget to let ourselves feel.

 

[chocolate]

How do I feel emotions? My answer is I'm not sure. I've been struggling with this for a long time. I, like sagewolf, also throw myself into math to 'feel' better which isn't really feeling, but it cuts off the feeling and engages my mind where I'm comfortable is more like it.

Emotions often come to me as from my body: I feel physical things, but I don't know what they mean. Sometimes when I'm supposed to be sad, I feel sick to my stomach, and when someone is putting me down, I feel anxious in my chest. But I don't understand what those sensations mean. I think for some people it is so easy to figure out why those things are happening, but I just don't get it.

I think in general I tend to be an emotion-avoider, and when I feel emotions coming on, just naturally avoid it (if I can). Maybe this is because I am scared of dealing with them? If I can't avoid it, then it can be very intense and even to the point of paralyzing. I imagine this sounds familiar to some?

My functions are Ne, Ti, Fe, Si (I think) so I should supposedly have a better time with feelings than INTPs, but I know I have a very difficult time understanding my own.

 

[Da Blob]

That would be an interesting business, telecounseling.

However, when I'm experiencing a breakdown, I would be even more uncomfortable with a payphone than I already am. I usually just write it down, sketch it out, play piano, anything but talk. When I'm confused by my emotions, I go with art, since it's the best thing I know of for illustrating emotions.

FYI Online Counseling is actually a Growth Industry...

 

[Ermine]

I can see that working online very well, it's just that if it were over the phone so many things would be lost simply by relaying the information.

 

[sagewolf]

NO! If you do it online people can see it: it's like posting it up on a bulletin board. Even email or something can be copied/seen by accident/saved. Better that it be a audial conversation that is then lost to the ether and forgotten.

 

[Ermine]

But if it's anonymous, who cares? No one will know it's you and it can help someone who might be having the same issue.

 

[bdubs]

Sagewolf is touching on one of the reasons why I find it difficult to post my opinion online. There is an inherent permenance involved. Although no one will know that I posted the idea, it is still a representation of myself. A representation that will now forever exist on the internet and will always be open to scrutiny. (Even if my thoughts on the subject evolve later.)

Sharing my emotions online would give me a defencelss feeling. The most unrefined part of myself would be in the public light indeffinatly. That just sounds unappealing.

 

[Da Blob]

NO! If you do it online people can see it: it's like posting it up on a bulletin board. Even email or something can be copied/seen by accident/saved. Better that it be a audial conversation that is then lost to the ether and forgotten.

Actually, a One on One visual link is established, there is some degree of privacy. Although, the possibility of losing information of a non verbal nature is an inherent flaw. There are numerous advantages to having Therapeutic Relationships, over the net, particularly when comes down to matching a client with the 'perfect' counselor.

For instance, you may have noticed that I am a bit difficult to relate to, but there are others, scattered around the globe that may find me to be just the right person to "Talk" with...

So this needing to be within driving distance of one's own counselor is dispensed with and a person can search the entire world for his or her counselor...

 

[Ermine]

Sagewolf is touching on one of the reasons why I find it difficult to post my opinion online. There is an inherent permenance involved. Although no one will know that I posted the idea, it is still a representation of myself. A representation that will now forever exist on the internet and will always be open to scrutiny. (Even if my thoughts on the subject evolve later.)

Sharing my emotions online would give me a defencelss feeling. The most unrefined part of myself would be in the public light indeffinatly. That just sounds unappealing.

Maybe it's because I'm confident with my writing and emotionally naive, but I like the permanent aspect of the internet. I wouldn't post just anywhere on the internet. I like the expression of my emotions to be permanent so I can go back over and over and try to analyze it and be better prepared for next time. Also, while it exists indefinitely, it's never in the public light forever since there are always newer posts staying on top.

Here, I'm comfortable because I'm anonymous, I can be selective with what I write, and some, if not many people on the forum, can relate.

 

[sagewolf]

Maybe it's because I'm confident with my writing and emotionally naive, but I like the permanent aspect of the internet. I wouldn't post just anywhere on the internet. I like the expression of my emotions to be permanent so I can go back over and over and try to analyze it and be better prepared for next time. Also, while it exists indefinitely, it's never in the public light forever since there are always newer posts staying on top.

That's true-- I do have far greater facility with the written word than with verbal communication, and being able to go over and over your expressions is useful. (Mind you, if it really helped me, I would be better at keeping diaries. =P Maybe I should try again.)

I think, though, part of the problem with how I experience my feelings is the way in which I express them: alone. Effectively, it's hard to make a psychological link with posting something on a forum and expressing my emotions and opinions to another human being-- what I am interacting with is several avatars, signatures, and a collection of individual opinions in separate posts. My Fe would probably benefit tremendously if I would just learn to talk to people, instead of hiding my feelings until I break down and cry for half an hour, after moping for several times that. Even if I can't manage it face-to-face, talking to someone on the phone would be a step towards being able to trust the people I should be able to trust with my feelings.

 

[Jesin]

NO! If you do it online people can see it: it's like posting it up on a bulletin board. Even email or something can be copied/seen by accident/saved. Better that it be a audial conversation that is then lost to the ether and forgotten.

We have an inner sanctum.

 

[Da Blob]

The first "Language" that we were to supposed to learn is the language of 'Touching and being Touched in return"

At least with me, something went wrong, I can only remember once in my life, when my father 'touched' me in a kind manner.

I may be actually afraid of being touched and yet there is still a part of me that longs to be touched. However, physical touching falls way short for some reason...(?)

Perhaps it is merely wishful thinking, but every time someone indicates that they have understood something I write, I 'feel' as if we have 'touched' (?), more so that if we had physically brushed by each other...

Perhaps, I am just trying to make the best of a bad situation, but it does seem to work, I have at least fooled my Self into believing that I am Not alone...

 

[Xel]

I feel (heh) like my emotions can fit into two categories: those that feel weird and those that are more like impressions. By weird I mean like a kind of physiological response from my gut. Like excitement or something. And impression is like general pleasant happiness. I can't really think about them, I just feel them very purely. I don't worry about them much. If I'm really sad I just stay sad till it passes.

I think emotions are different from atmospheres. Though I can't describe atmospheres in rational/categorical terms, I can do literally through art. I've feel like I've got a good sense for them. Is that because of the N?

 

[Ermine]

Perhaps. For me, it's hard to tell the difference between the intuitions and gut feelings and the emotions.

 

[Weliddryn]

Don't be weak and pathetic, WORK ON YOUR Fe!!!

Hey, Luzian, why don't you work on your emotions, instead of telling other people how to deal with their's?

 

[sagewolf]

*Oh snap*

 

[Luzian]

Hey, Luzian, why don't you work on your emotions, instead of telling other people how to deal with their's?

Are you worried about my emotions?

 

[Weliddryn]

Are you worried about my emotions?

Why, but of course, Luzian! lol

 

[sagewolf]

Only because we're all afraid of those...feely-thingies...

 

[Perseus]

At some point, your rational INTP is going to show some emotion, maybe even "open up" to you. You are at a major points situation here. You can win a lot of points or you can lose even more. Revere this as the honor it is. The emotions are probably going to be undeveloped and may seem odd. Accept them, respect them, validate them. If you do, you will build his trust for you.
http://tinyurl.com/a38cm

 

[snowqueen]

I thought I re-visit this thread - I find it really interesting - I've pasted some of the quotes that resonated well with me.

Reading through also made me nostalgic for some members I haven't seen for a while - Sagewolf, Jennywocky and Fleur. Need to revisit the Come Back Club too maybe.

This is how it is for me, anyway. There are emotions below the surface, but I mostly ignore them - not through choice, that's just the way it happens. The three strongest ones are probably anger, sorrow, happiness and some sort of positive reaction to beauty, since they get through most often - it takes a lot to get me angry, but when I do get angry, I get very angry. When listening to music I love (like, properly listening, noticing the minutiae of the composition and the way everything highlights and accentuates everything else, and think about the lyrics and their layers of depth), there's a positive response which is more like wonder than happiness, usually strong enough to make me cry. Once or twice I've experienced it for a painting. Sorrow and anger tend to be in response to injustice, and happiness is just normal - but I don't really feel it if I'm not very happy. Particularly when I'm sad, I feel emotions more strongly. Things I can usually just ignore become important, it's like an emotional floodgate opens. Once in a while, a good cry is nice for emotional release.

Does anyone else feel they have a dark tunnel in the back of their mind/skull; when I thinking deeply it seems like I'm retracting back into this tunnel/pit/void, sometimes to the point where my eyes are open but I'm not seeing anything. Emotional people talk about having a "happy place", but I'm most comfortable in the darkest recesses of my mind.

Emotionally I'm pretty cold, it's not that I am not surprising my emotions; I just have these "emotion.exe not found" moments.

Here's what detached means to me. Metaphorically speaking, there's a wall of glass between me and everyone else. When the emotional weather is wet with tears or any other manifestation of strong emotion, it makes my "glass" fog up, and I have an even harder time perceiving and understanding emotions, which is why I feel empty when surrounded by grief, profoundly confused when someone is crying on my shoulder, etc. This also applies to highly charged positive emotions. On the other hand, when I'm experiencing those highly charged emotions, the glass on my side fogs up and I have a hard time seeing and understanding what's on the other side of the glass. Half the time, either one or the other is happening, and I can't see very well.

The only common emotion I know and understand is frustration. Frustration from not understanding other emotions, frustration that I don't know something but should, etc. Pretty much the only reason I cry.

I stumbled upon this today and thought it was really interesting.

www.emotionallyvague.com

Especially question 2 (the page stumbleupon dropped me off at).

I'm actually very easy going and usually wake up in a decent mood. I'm really uncomfortable around people who do have strong emotions, it's just makes my head spin and I don't know how to react. It's not easy to make me mad but when I am (usually when I perceive the situation as unfair) it get furious and obsessive about it. I almost never cry unless it's out of frustration.​

Like some of the other posters I am very moved by art. Music, beautiful literature, beautiful paintings, etc. can bring a lot of emotion to the surface and make me cry as well. I am totally content when I'm in the middle of an art project and have no distractions around me.​

(I'll describe my emotions how I experience them when I'm alone, then in the next post I'll describe how it is when I'm around people.)
It's not that I'm devoid of emotion, but rather the emotion that is there is usually very stable and mild. Contentment is my most common emotion. I like to keep my emotional side low-key so I can focus more on my thoughts.
Occasionally I have quick bursts of strong emotion which tends to be either sadness, anger, loud excitement or quiet euphoria. Though strong emotions can interrupt logical thought patterns, I still try to appreciate the change and just go with it. But I associate strong emotions with lack of control, so if it lasts too long I start to go nutty without that self-control.
The sense of wonder that Jordan mentioned in reaction to beauty, I get that a lot too. I'd probably put it in the category of my "quiet euphoria". Mostly towards music, nature, and good films.

I don't express emotions well and usually give off the wrong impression. One morning last week or so I was 'off with the fairys' and extremely happy, and mum thought I was depressed. It's like I was so deep inside my own head that I couldn't muster the effort to reach out and express it externally. Does anyone else here have trouble displaying appropriate facial expressions? People tend to say things to me like "What's wrong?" "Cheer up!" even when I'm perfectly content.

I think I'm less-stable emotionally when I'm with other people, especially the over-emotional kind. It's like they're little troublemaker kids running through someone's house knocking everything over and generally being a bull in a china shop. They interrupt the balance and it's annoying. I will compare our emotions and if they differ, I start to wonder "who's in the wrong" and that maybe if we're in the same situation then I should be experiencing the same emotion or the same level of emotion as them.
I'd say my most common emotion in the presence of people is frustration and confusion.

In some respects I would like to be more socially at ease but in other respects I realise that this is an intrinsic aspect of my personality and I love the flip side of it - the tendency to get involved in deeper conversations. Last night, at a party, for example I left early because I was bored. But I happened to say something that prompted someone to approach me and have an intense conversation which she wants to carry on. On the one hand I am very boring in social situations, on the other hand some people are attracted to the 'silence' and the few things I do say.

so would I really like to be more socially at ease? Yes, if I could keep all the other parts of me. No if I had to give them up. I guess, some of these things are just 'skills' that you have to develop by hard and embarrassing practice, just like Jenny said. If I don't try them out, I don't get better at them, But sometimes I just can't be bothered!

 

[Firehazard159]

Though I'd add my perspective to this thread; sorry it it's repetitive, as we can think quite a like :P

For me, emotions are always present, just muffled. It's like a simmering fire, becoming oxygen deprived as I relentlessly hold them down. I've always like the dam analogy. Usually what happens is they're continually suppressed, and I don't react emotionally in a majority of situations, but one day, whether several months or potentially years down the road, depending how much emotional stress I go through, eventually that dam breaks and floods everything.

I remember one time when I was 11, I blew up at my 17 year old sister, and she was literally scared for her life. Her boyfriend (now husband) had picked me up and set me out of the pool, because we were having an argument on who got to use it how (My friend and I had just gotten in 5 minutes before they came out and were splashing; my sister wanted to tan and relax.) Him man-handling was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak, all I knew once I was set down was pure rage, I literally saw nothing but red, mentally and physically. My family had never heard me swear before, and I used every single word in the book and made up some of my own.. after a few minutes, I settled down, my sister had locked herself in the house and kept me outside. She was seriously scared for her life, and had called our mom. I ended up settling down, and just felt drained afterwards, the dam was empty, and I rebuilt the walls to hold the water back once again, and didn't blow up again for another few years. I couldn't explain myself or anything, I was kind of shocked afterwards.

Other than episodes like that, whether I break down sobbing or raging, I'm entirely stoic. I kind of think of myself as vulcan really. It's not that emotion isn't there, just suppressed in desire for intellectual stimulation. But, as well like Vulcans, I feel emotion 100x's more powerful than humans do. Vulcans were modeled after INTP's :P

I also think this is the reason I fall in love so hard and fast. It's something I only sometimes suppress, because part of me desperately wants that connection with someone, someone who can provide me the support I needm, and I can fully open up to. I dream of that, but don't know if I'll ever really trust anyone that fully.

Most of the time I feel pretty dead or empty, whenever something happens. The death of a family member, friend, anything like that. It's all irrelevant/meaningless.

Anyway, that's my ramble on emotion..

 

[snowqueen]

I cried a lot as a child but the first time I experienced rage I was 22 years old. I was living in a flat with 2 friends. One of them was a chef and he cooked a meal and it had chilli in it. At the time I couldn't tolerate chilli because I wasn't used to it. He cooked chile con carne and I took one mouthful and threw down my fork and said 'you know I don't like chilli' and he made some comment and I took myself off to my room. God knows why but all the rage I had ever felt emerged in that moment and I ended up totally wrecking my room - every single thing I owned ended up thrown on the floor. For a long time after that I had trouble controlling my temper - though I probably only lost it once a year or so - but that was still too much for me.

I can remember the combination of desperation and elation I felt when I 'came to' standing on my bare mattress on the bed with everything on the floor, hoarse with screaming. My friend came in and made some quip - didn't seem at all shocked. 40 years later he is still one of my best friends. I'm sure he's also INTP actually.

 

[Dormouse]

While I think most points have already been made, I'd just like to add my own perspective on this. Especially since I've always been fascinated by emotions.
As a kid I was a major empath. These days I still am, to a certain degree, and I tend to mirror the emotional state of whoever I'm with. I fill myself with other peoples emotions, though that means that alone I do feel a certain void, some days.
Usually, however, I'm in a pretty good mood, easy-going and very detached. When I do feel strong emotions my problem is I don't name them and can't understand them, and therefore can't talk them over with my well meaning friends.
And yes, I do occasionally feel the wrong emotions at the wrong times, though I've become exceptionally skilled at convincing myself I feel a certain way. Basically I fake it alot.

 

[Beat Mango]

How do I feel emotions? Well I feel nothing, I feel nothing, I feel nothing... then with the right trigger, I open up like a dam.

 

[shoeless]

it's not that i don't feel emotions. i don't even think it's that i'm detached from my emotions. i just internalize my emotions to an extreme degree.

a few days ago, my dad and i were saying goodbye to our family (my mom & brothers) because we just moved to germany and we're staying here for two years. my dad (estj) was completely in shambles and was bawling like a baby the entire time. i didn't shed a single tear. my way of dealing with it is to crack a joke and move on.

i mean, it's not really that i don't care about my family. maybe i'm not as attached to the family dynamic as he is, or even as most people are. but, i dunno. when i feel, i just don't show it. but i'm actually a fairly emotional person, in the right circumstances. it's just nobody knows it.

(sorry if this has already been basically said by the way. i'm sure it has actually. i'm just still jetlagged and too tired to really read the thread.)

 

[Dr_Steve]

I feel absolutely and completely devoid of emotions for the most part. I don't feel compassion for others and thinking back on it, never really have. A few years back one of my aunts passed away. I loved her a hell of a lot, yet I didn't feel anything when I heard the news. I was shocked at first and expected to feel grief-stricken, but it never came. I just went on with life feeling as I do everyday; Numb to the outside world.

There is one thing that I know of that will absolutely break me though. Animals. They are my one true weakness.

 

[Dormouse]

There is one thing that I know of that will absolutely break me though. Animals. They are my one true weakness.

Ah yes. I sobbed when my pet fish died.

 

[walfin]

I actually feel a lot and very strongly too, but I believe most people who know me don't see any expression of emotion. It's probably social conditioning (my culture isn't very expressive and boys who cry get caned more so that they'll stop crying), and for a long time I've been wishing to cry again and show emotion again, but now they seem to be perpetually stuck inside and only come out on the Internet.

Just 2 days ago I was actually very down in the dumps, but a friend told me that I looked relaxed. I don't really like this.

 

[ntfbfi]

In fact, it is quite often for me to be emotional. The issue is I can be angry, annoyed, bothered etc very easily but rarely happy or sad which is even more rare.