how do you deal with small talk when its forced upon you?

[aahzombies]

I am a big fan of the noncommital vocal sounds and shrug. After receiving this as a complete answer a few times, most people will leave me to my thoughts. (I just wish it worked on family!)

 

[Wisp]

I usually [abrubtly, awkwardly] change the subject. Depending on the person, sometimes I'll listen well... For some reason I like talking to people older or younger than I am, possibly because my peers are too ... boring/stupid/inconsequential

 

[loveofreason]

This forum is used for smalltalk quite often. Is that because the internet is a less personal form of encounter, or is there a special type of smalltalk that suits the INTP?

Fie! Heretic!

Has anyone, anyone here asked you about the weather? Or what you ate for lunch? Or which team will win on the weekend?

 

[Sugarpop]

Fie! Heretic!

Has anyone, anyone here asked you about the weather? Or what you ate for lunch? Or which team will win on the weekend?

From the thread where a certain Rikka introduces herself(http://www.intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=1279&highlight=rikka&page=2):

Welcome, Rikka. Another Canadian, I see.
Got much snow yet?

Barely; it's terrible. I think it's a combination of drought and global warming. It just started to get consistently cold and it's snowed a bit here and there (but it usually melts in the morning). What about you? Where do you reside?

Didn't find any questions about lunch yet, but a 'Virtual Dinner Party' was arranged on one occasion. You should remember this, love, as you attended.

I'm new here, so I have not been asked much yet at all, but it should be a matter of sliced cake to find you more examples of smalltalk. May I suggest that the Introit-section, where you are actually quite active, be renamed 'Smalltalkville '?

 

[loveofreason]

Oh fie! You're confusing Canadians with INTPs.

So how's the weather round your way?

 

[Wisp]

Clear and morning-ish...

 

[Sugarpop]

Oh fie! You're confusing Canadians with INTPs.

So how's the weather round your way?

Cloudy. Cold. Cumbersome. Those are the reports from the morons who would go actually go outside.

How much of an I are you, reallY?

 

[Wisp]

LoR is an E in disguise.

 

[Sugarpop]

LoR is an E in disguise.

She probably has friends and stuff too.

 

[Wisp]

I mean, who has friends these days?

 

[loveofreason]

*looks carefully around*

*leans in really close to Sugarpop*

Shhhh..... I'll let you in on a little secret *whispers* I'm really an ESFP but I have them all fooled - don't tell anyone!


Arhhh!!!! Wisp overheard!!! My secret's out! *shame*

Oh well, guess I'll just fall back on my emormous network of real life friends that all love me so much they have me out partying on a Saturday night instead of sitting in a dim attic at 2am.

*sigh*

 

[Wisp]

-_-' fooled eh?

 

[Zombicide]

Small talk is so awesome sometimes. I'll never initiate it because it's weird as hell but as much as I despise people, if someone else initiates legitimate small talk; that's fine by me, it depends on the small talk, it can be as entertaining as filling out a survey or personality test but it can also annoy me to no end because humans are almost entirely a fundamentally stupid species. It can technically be acceptable if all it really is is small talk and not a moronic trick which would just make me contemplate killing them. If I don't feel like engaging in it, I don't feel there's any need for me to be illogical or counter productive about it, so although I tend to try to look stand offish, I'll just avoid them or just won't answer aside from shrugging my shoulders or nodding as politely as possible and such. Trying to look standoffish doesn't always work, an ex of mine introduced herself to me when I was attempting to look this way but she got up the courage to come have small talk with me about our art (if that can be considered small talk), she later said that she thought I looked awfully mean and such but she gave it a shot anyway(I dislike her). Plus most people say that I look like the nicest person ever, even when I'm going for the opposite look in order to avoid small talk.

I don't know why I naturally always try to avoid small talk, the instances of it have for the most part been fine enough, although I suppose it's may be due to the times it wasn't fine and the person wanted to talk about something annoying.

 

[Ben]

For example i was getting a haircut and i am stuck sitting on the chair, and it seems like they just don't know when to shut up. They just have to talk talk talk. i try and give them a hint by answering in short yes or no answers. (its a "friend of the family's" so i can't just out right ignore them or i wont hear the end of it from my parents how rude it is and blah blah blah, in other words more talking)

Do you just tell them straight up to STFU, or just get by as a minimalist in the conversation, or perhaps chat with them on the same level?

Hahaha! Sounds like a classic INTP problem. I hate small talk! I dont think people understand that if you are not going to say anything really meaningful then you are not obligated to say anything at all. And people (my parents) generally think of this as my worst trait. Like my hatred for small talk is some sort of a personality flaw that needs to be fixed.

I mean, i'll listen to people when they talk, but if they really want me to become ingaged in the conversation......well.....maybe they can talk about something more substantial; like a current event or my views on something. Thats how you get my attention. Not by saying "Soooo....what college do you go to?" or "whats your favorite football team?"

 

[AndOhh]

I personally would like to be able to perform small talk a bit better. I have actually striven to do better at it. Often times, it's uncomfortable because a lot of the discussion seems completely irrelevant to anything I'm concerned with or interested in.

That said, I will typically attempt to maintain my end of the discussion -- I often find that I tend to create an uncomfortable situation at times for both parties; however, I also have found decent conversations in said small talk. In fact, I was vacationing in Deadwood, South Dakota once and grabbed a beer at a antique shop/bar; I got to talking with an old-timer there. I was uncomfortably keeping up my end of the small-talk conversation the best I could. After talking a but, I found he was very familiar with my home town -- Bismarck, ND (not a big place). Oddly enough he pointed to a bike hanging from the ceiling and said it had a Bismarck plate -- it did. We then got into an interesting conversation about the oil fields in ND.

After a brief mention of the fact that they pump CO2 in old oil wells to get more oil from them -- I asked if he knew what that does. He didn't know; I have been aware of them doing this for sometime but never gotten around to thinking about it. I then surmised that they probably pump it under the oil to force it up; I don't know whether that's how it works or not but it seems logical (possibly creating pressure as well? but i don't think so ).

So, small talk can be difficult and uncomfortable; however, I have adapted to partake to the best of my abilities and have actually had some positive outcomes. Or sometimes I just give very brief uninviting answers -- but I do try.