How do one become like the rest and not think

[Altivar]

Hi all. I'm a bit new to all this. bit like a newborn to air.
In the last 12mths have discovered i am an INTP.

An amazing feeling of belonging .... finally.
Don't know if its a common thing or me.
Im reading the colossal array of posts threads and all else on me.
well you and me actually.

To belong to something. To fit in into a slot, a category and not have to feel it necessary, compelled even, to have me as a person understood instead of feeling i must justify my 'not the norm' view of things and thought process.

I am tired. For so long I've wanted to fit in with the rest of society, constantly judging myself, my actions as not fitting in. I cant its..... too boring.

reading all the variations of definition & descriptions i am chuffed that from what i constantly yearn for , knowledge , can make me understand ME!

Hell Yeh and thanks to all that contributed to this possibility.

I'm 36 i think, dont greatly care. I've a wife 4kids 2dogs the usual $$ tie ups many do.
An industrial electrician and love how all and every thing tics.
drives me mental, how bloody lot of it. Its hard being me let alone helping growing guiding providing supervising contributing whatever.

I want probably need a means to stop thinking. even just for a little while.
the constant self destruction is a hard cycle to break. Im happy as for a few days then, as I've read, despise incompetence to put it bluntly, my family's even my dogs incompetence erks me and i want to run.

My brain hurts. Finally growing an understanding of my "thinking" ways is cool.

Cant i just be a dumb ass like so many others l that blend into society.

Sorry for the rant. First post nerves...... how many variations can i entertain in the mind of what to write before during and after......... isn't that a thought we could ponder over.

 

[Cognisant]

I like this one, let's keep him.

And sorry you'll never really fit in, it's the curse of individuality, there's so much to think about that people who think a lot inevitably become unlike-minded to the mindless drones of society, and even worse no two true individuals are exactly alike, at least not in my considerably shorter life experience.

 

[EditorOne]

Yeah, a keeper. Welcome aboard. Now start bailing lest we sink.

 

[Czech Yes or No]

Welcome to the fiesta.

 

[Rakshasa]

Welcome to our own little internet wonderland. You can take a lot away from this place. I understand where you're coming from. I'm very young, but I went/am going through something similar as far as self-understanding goes. Belonging to the social collective is a lot of work for the company of fools. Brilliance is always lonely.
I trust I will enjoy reading you future posts.

 

[MissQuote]

Hey.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Enjoy this place. It's good.

 

[Architect]

This is the better of the INTP forums.

 

[Pyropyro]

Welcome!

 

[Roran]

I want probably need a means to stop thinking. even just for a little while. the constant self destruction is a hard cycle to break. Im happy as for a few days then, as I've read, despise incompetence to put it bluntly, my family's even my dogs incompetence erks me and i want to run.

Chemicals. Adrenaline, dopamine, get high enough on either of these and it's really hard to think.

 

[Cavallier]

Tell me, did you come here in a time machine?

I ask because you remind me strongly of someone. Or rather you remind me of someone who may very well turn into you in about 20 years.

 

[~~~]

Put everything out of your mind.

 

[Altivar]

Time machine no. Oh the havic I could reek

Emptying the mind of everything ............ simply allows fresh space for more

 

[Altivar]

As a continuation of a previous rant ........ thoughts and questions for the random that will read.

Reading a few variations of the same colour green, I've noted maybe I'm blue not just red.
An INFP speal also has strengths that I can relate tin the Feeling side of things.
nature observations, people feelings and all that. Even personally I seriously hate confrontation, rarely look people in the eye, I dont know .... heaps.

From the general run of info I've read around the threads in here, although Im not up there with the pc scheme of things, quite detest a pc really, a tool for sure but man can time of really achieving fuck all occur repeatedly. Ha side tracked sorry.
I can relate to a lot of what I have read recently in this forum.

There are some sinister little buggers out there I see.
I also see the acceptance of this as it is a part of a norm. I can understand that well.
I could only expect this as the multitude of things that roll round over and thu cover over negative thoughts. Death is an end I look forward to. Pain free preferably. To be this mind fucked for years and to then drag it out in more crap. Awesome.

To what degree do you think the surroundings, environment, parents & family life or not, friends, whatever is the information source for early life, say up to mid 20's, mold the potential INTP. I believe we all start with a primary design and the information given to the design guides the growth and development of the design.

I was just an average introverted kid. I liked. Anything and everything. I just questioned everything I gained info from. My parents were average blue collar, worked hard, were good parents. By no means did I stand out as a math, science or language steller and still am not. I'm into everything. With my trade I'm the same. I dont specialise in anything in particular, well just fault finding, but any experience I've encounted and enjoyed I suck it dry of info until I get it.
Banked next. Man side tracked again. Sorry.

Had the joy of having two blokes mess with me in the shit way when under 10.
With other general good & bad influences I think this didn't do well towards me Fi Fe which ever. Was and still am as insecure as whatever and inturn have looked at people, humand as just another source of information to be processed and fault found.......cause thats what I do.

I find now later in life with the infomation I became responsible for sourcing, growing ups fucked. And with a different round of influences to shape my personality highlights I'm different by far. Sort of. Still look and treate people pretty well, respectfully, how I was brought up. Uncomfortable as buggery quite often but respect respect respect. And I do get it.

Now with maturity my yearn to know more is huge. My emotions and expression of emotion are pretty erratic at the best of times but more with the change of life with wife and kids and the drudgery of it all. Ah negative covered ....... searching for positive.
Grumpy old prick at 36 is not good apparently. Dont shit me and Im not grumpy. i dont see a problem.

What am I. The Blue pill or the Red pill??

Noticing sets of stairs has an odd one missing doesnt make me think of numbers more only the clown who didn't put it in and killing the pattern.

 

[Namesmith]

I'm going to weigh in, even though I suppose I should be introducing myself. I can do that later, if that's what you want.

Altivar, the question is, do you want to not think most of the time, or would you just like to quiet things down for a while? Because if the former is your goal, brain damage is your only practical option. Alcohol, nasty hard drugs, oxygen deprivation, these are the usual methods. But you don't really have that option, because you have a family to provide for, and that would be unbelievably selfish.

I guess I am going to have to introduce myself a little, in order for this to make any sense.

I have never been able to not think. For me, the puzzle that drives me is language. I can't listen to a conversation without little grammatical or semantic jokes, puns, and line-of-thought deviations making themselves known in the background, like the commentary track of the director's cut on the DVD. Sometimes it's difficult to pay attention to what's actually going on in front of me; even more so when it's irrelevant, trivial, or uninteresting.

I'm also, to use the current vernacular, bi-polar. Not one of the trendy "I'm so bi-polar" types who were depressives last month, OCD the month before that, and will be Aspie's as soon as they understand what it is. No, I'm really a manic-depressive. And fortunately, The medication works for me. As a result, I'm one of the most successful M-Ds I know, in the sense that I can hold a job, maintain a relationship, and contribute to society. Like a normal person.

Except I'm not a normal person, for which I thank the conventional deity constantly. See, the "Normals" aren't any happier than we are, not if they're sane, anyway. The world is so screwed up right now that that if you are sailing through it on an even keel, without problems or the nagging feeling that something is very wrong, then something is seriously wrong with you. Your anxiety is an indication that you are sane.

What has helped me in the last few years is yoga. I'm not into the sweaty Power Vinyasa workout-disguised-as-contemplation. I lean toward the the more meditative kinds, my favorite being Yin Yoga. It does help me to quiet the cacophony inside my head, and it helps me stretch my connective tissue, which so tight it causes me pain.

You might benefit from meditation only, if yoga doesn't work for you.

Anyway, the wi-fi I'm using is about to shut down for the night. I hope this was helpful, and I look forward to meeting the rest of you.

Namesmith