mooncrater
Member
- Local time
- Today 4:20 AM
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2014
- Messages
- 46
Sorry, I actually hate casual vulgarity, but I sometimes like to be overtly vulgar, because people who know me know that I am reserved, formal, and sincere, so it works great. Sound like you, perhaps?
Judging by the number of views these threads get, I consider it worth everyone's while for me to type my story here.
The greatest tragedy I'll share tonight, is that I found out about MBTI stuff too late, last year, and I recently turned 33. I googled the phrase "I make people feel stupid", and it took me to an INTJ page, and then to a test site where I tested INTP with strong T and weak P (I don't get too deep into it at this point). I had felt a little bad for getting into an argument with a friend (INFP) about her deep interest in feng sui and luck, soon after I'd taught her the basic tenets of stoicism. She is Japanese and this was in Japan, so I gave her the appropriate cultural leeway.
The "too late" thing was not so much because I could have avoided that argument, but that for so many years I thought I was largely alone with my character traits, and I think I could have possibly benefited greatly from reading about other people with the same damn stories as me, at a much earlier age.
My father is an unintelligent INTJ (yeah, I found him) ::finds gun::, my mother, an unintelligent ESFJ ::inserts single round::, and my older sister by six years, a slightly above average intelligence ENFJ ::yeah, you know::. My father's primary parenting tool was absolute fear of violence (he didn't need to hit us, we feared for our lives), my mother used me for her own ends and tried to make me think that I was the one who was fucked up (easy target) and not my parents, and my sister HATED me because I was better-looking and more intelligent, and then added her projected hatred of my father.
So yeah, I had some self-esteem issues and somehow thought of myself as stupid and ugly. I barely graduated high-school, and then soon ditched my small circle of loser (like I was) "friends" (they all betrayed me), and went to work full-time at office jobs, so I could become independent of my parents. At 20, I moved to a new city where I didn't know ANYBODY...so nobody knew my past, no former classmates, etc. My feeling of apathy gradually diminished. I was doing great at work, and I felt my first taste of real, socially-acceptable "success" since I was just a boy in the "Gifted and Talented" program in elementary school (before I started hating school). I became cautiously interested in formal education again, and eventually worked my way though college/university, studying at four different places in three different cities (very INTP), and graduated from a very respectable state university, double-majoring in Poli. Sci. and Asian Languages and Literature at 27.... With a shitload of secured and unsecured debt (independence!) that makes me the man who can't and won't be applying for any sort of credit/loans in the US for a loong time. But being in debt is just a state of mind
Moving on, I'd never been on an airplane before, and never overseas, and I had an itch to go to Japan and work there to see what it was like. This itch was one of the reasons I went through the whole college thing (and to actually finish it, and finish strong). I ended up staying in Tokyo for five years. Here are some reasons why Tokyo was good to me:
1. The language barrier. Socially awkward? Gee, that darn language/culture barrier!
2. Many people are so exhausted from working long hours, during their time off they just decompress at home, and don't socialize. Very normal, and socially acceptable.
3. Many areas of public life are very rational. The service people are so polite and formal that...it's clearly business and it's...honest. Public transport workers are very competent. Daily life is very convenient and no-nonsense.
4. I had to teach English to many different kinds of students, which hammered directly on my weaker functions, improving them, making me a better, more developed person. No other serious lines of work were available.
5. People you don't know stay out of your business! If you want to socialize, you first need to be a part of a GROUP, where socialization within the group is expected. Random people are near worthless when you are surrounded by millions of them all day, every day. Stay out of my business - I want to be alone with my thoughts, I don't know you.
6. I learned to appreciate logical and just rules. Without them in Tokyo, it would be mayhem. Have your ringer on in the train? Shame on you. Everyone in here is tired and desires your cooperation with a little quiet time in the noisy city. Where are you standing? Are you blocking the flow of human traffic? Be mindful of the situation! It's logical (and important enough to you to warrant your attention)!
Why Tokyo was bad to me:
1. Hierarchy and tradition in the workplace. Yeah, they take it real seriously, and I despise taking orders from the wrong person. This aspect alone is enough to be a deal-breaker to me. I've had very serious problems with this.
2. Japanese people often don't form/share their opinions on issues that could be sensitive. It's hard to find an intellectual conversation, and even friendly debates are uncommon. You'd better have some intellectually stimulating books and whatnot (you do).
3. It makes it hard when going back home. In Japan there is...almost no crime. Socially acceptable solitude when desired. Polite, reserved behavior in public. Go back to a major US city, and you get: Crime. Social unrest from angry people. Rude public behavior. Everybody is trying to take a piece of you. Everybody has something to prove. Extroverts dictating social mores.
Why I am going back to Japan:
1. I'm almost in a position where I can escape most of the BS that comes with working in Japan due to improved qualifications and opportunities. If I had no chance of improving this area, I'd rather live in a rather dull (to me) city in the US.
2. At home, I have reverse culture shock. Mobility scooters for the morbidly obese. Filth. Lazy freeloaders everywhere. Sorry, Tokyo life suits my personality better.
3. My family. The time difference, etc. really lets me communicate on my terms, which is not so often, which leads to healthier relationships.
Ahem, so yeah, my five years in Japan were very good for my development as an INTP guy. Results may vary.
This was more for me than it was for you, but it certainly was a little for you
Judging by the number of views these threads get, I consider it worth everyone's while for me to type my story here.
The greatest tragedy I'll share tonight, is that I found out about MBTI stuff too late, last year, and I recently turned 33. I googled the phrase "I make people feel stupid", and it took me to an INTJ page, and then to a test site where I tested INTP with strong T and weak P (I don't get too deep into it at this point). I had felt a little bad for getting into an argument with a friend (INFP) about her deep interest in feng sui and luck, soon after I'd taught her the basic tenets of stoicism. She is Japanese and this was in Japan, so I gave her the appropriate cultural leeway.
The "too late" thing was not so much because I could have avoided that argument, but that for so many years I thought I was largely alone with my character traits, and I think I could have possibly benefited greatly from reading about other people with the same damn stories as me, at a much earlier age.
My father is an unintelligent INTJ (yeah, I found him) ::finds gun::, my mother, an unintelligent ESFJ ::inserts single round::, and my older sister by six years, a slightly above average intelligence ENFJ ::yeah, you know::. My father's primary parenting tool was absolute fear of violence (he didn't need to hit us, we feared for our lives), my mother used me for her own ends and tried to make me think that I was the one who was fucked up (easy target) and not my parents, and my sister HATED me because I was better-looking and more intelligent, and then added her projected hatred of my father.
So yeah, I had some self-esteem issues and somehow thought of myself as stupid and ugly. I barely graduated high-school, and then soon ditched my small circle of loser (like I was) "friends" (they all betrayed me), and went to work full-time at office jobs, so I could become independent of my parents. At 20, I moved to a new city where I didn't know ANYBODY...so nobody knew my past, no former classmates, etc. My feeling of apathy gradually diminished. I was doing great at work, and I felt my first taste of real, socially-acceptable "success" since I was just a boy in the "Gifted and Talented" program in elementary school (before I started hating school). I became cautiously interested in formal education again, and eventually worked my way though college/university, studying at four different places in three different cities (very INTP), and graduated from a very respectable state university, double-majoring in Poli. Sci. and Asian Languages and Literature at 27.... With a shitload of secured and unsecured debt (independence!) that makes me the man who can't and won't be applying for any sort of credit/loans in the US for a loong time. But being in debt is just a state of mind
Moving on, I'd never been on an airplane before, and never overseas, and I had an itch to go to Japan and work there to see what it was like. This itch was one of the reasons I went through the whole college thing (and to actually finish it, and finish strong). I ended up staying in Tokyo for five years. Here are some reasons why Tokyo was good to me:
1. The language barrier. Socially awkward? Gee, that darn language/culture barrier!
2. Many people are so exhausted from working long hours, during their time off they just decompress at home, and don't socialize. Very normal, and socially acceptable.
3. Many areas of public life are very rational. The service people are so polite and formal that...it's clearly business and it's...honest. Public transport workers are very competent. Daily life is very convenient and no-nonsense.
4. I had to teach English to many different kinds of students, which hammered directly on my weaker functions, improving them, making me a better, more developed person. No other serious lines of work were available.
5. People you don't know stay out of your business! If you want to socialize, you first need to be a part of a GROUP, where socialization within the group is expected. Random people are near worthless when you are surrounded by millions of them all day, every day. Stay out of my business - I want to be alone with my thoughts, I don't know you.
6. I learned to appreciate logical and just rules. Without them in Tokyo, it would be mayhem. Have your ringer on in the train? Shame on you. Everyone in here is tired and desires your cooperation with a little quiet time in the noisy city. Where are you standing? Are you blocking the flow of human traffic? Be mindful of the situation! It's logical (and important enough to you to warrant your attention)!
Why Tokyo was bad to me:
1. Hierarchy and tradition in the workplace. Yeah, they take it real seriously, and I despise taking orders from the wrong person. This aspect alone is enough to be a deal-breaker to me. I've had very serious problems with this.
2. Japanese people often don't form/share their opinions on issues that could be sensitive. It's hard to find an intellectual conversation, and even friendly debates are uncommon. You'd better have some intellectually stimulating books and whatnot (you do).
3. It makes it hard when going back home. In Japan there is...almost no crime. Socially acceptable solitude when desired. Polite, reserved behavior in public. Go back to a major US city, and you get: Crime. Social unrest from angry people. Rude public behavior. Everybody is trying to take a piece of you. Everybody has something to prove. Extroverts dictating social mores.
Why I am going back to Japan:
1. I'm almost in a position where I can escape most of the BS that comes with working in Japan due to improved qualifications and opportunities. If I had no chance of improving this area, I'd rather live in a rather dull (to me) city in the US.
2. At home, I have reverse culture shock. Mobility scooters for the morbidly obese. Filth. Lazy freeloaders everywhere. Sorry, Tokyo life suits my personality better.
3. My family. The time difference, etc. really lets me communicate on my terms, which is not so often, which leads to healthier relationships.
Ahem, so yeah, my five years in Japan were very good for my development as an INTP guy. Results may vary.
This was more for me than it was for you, but it certainly was a little for you
Thanks for your replies so far