Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JUN]

^ you're from portugal like your opinion matters *dodges*

You're a hobbit and your mother is named Rita.

I don't even want to explain that. -_-

Please do.

 

[ashitaria]

Fukyo, to my benefit, has already did.

Thanks Fukyo. ^_^

 

[JUN]

Fukyo, to my benefit, has already did.

Thanks Fukyo. ^_^

Derp ? That was clearly not what I meant, what I meant was: Why do you identify yourself as an asexual ?

 

[AlisaD]

I recommend prostitution, it has worked out for many people.

How many made a million doing it in just one year?

 

[Cognisant]

How many made a million doing it in just one year?

A young, attractive, well connected prostitute could make that in a month.

Some people will pay ridiculous amounts to play with the “toys” of their superiors , meanwhile said superiors will likewise pay ridiculous amounts to keep their “toys” out of lesser hands. It’s a status-symbol/ego-trip thing, hence “toys”, because the actual prostitution is completely irrelevant to the game being played, they may as well be cars or houses on a monopoly board for all it matters.

If you're a young, attractive, well connected, western girl in Japan (and assumedly speak Japanese) you've got it made

 

[Cavallier]

When somebody says "prostitution" most people think of some homeless drugged out unfortunate. Actually, there are a lot of well paid call girls as well as all those fairly attractive socially acrobatic young women who cater to all those famous movie stars and sports stars. You think all those mistresses get notoriety and nothing else? Or you could prostitute yourself in any number of ways that doesn't involve sex.

Wait, how did we get on this topic again? ASHITARIA!!! I blame you.

Edit: On second look I blame Ran.

 

[AlisaD]

You guys seem to be forgetting one thing. I'm an INTP. Socially acrobatic? Well connected? Not likely.

As for prostituting myself in many ways that don't involve sex, I consider what I'm doing now to be a lot worse moral-wise then prostitution.

To sit in an office for 35 hours a week, solving problems I don't care about, speaking to people I find boring in order to make just enough money to have a nice little pleasant life? It's repulsive.

Prostitution would be a clean and honest way of making a living compared to this.

Unfortunately I don't think that my need to make mean comments, stare at people and analyse them without trying the slightest bit to make a connection and inability to be submissive under any circumstances make me a perfect candidate for a high-class hooker.

Maybe I could work with masochists who are into emotional and mental abuse, though.

 

[Cavallier]

Unfortunately I don't think that my need to make mean comments, stare at people and analyse them without trying the slightest bit to make a connection and inability to be submissive under any circumstances make me a perfect candidate for a high-class hooker.

Maybe I could work with masochists who are into emotional and mental abuse, though.

Hmmm...I might know of a place that could get you a hook up or at least a phone number...

Edit: It's in Las Vegas though.

 

[AlisaD]

Hmmm...I might know of a place that could get you a hook up or at least a phone number...

Edit: It's in Las Vegas though.

Oh, do tell

Edit: It's in Las Vegas though.

No place is to far away if you find your true calling

 

[TLiOmSeT]

-I do not know if someone mentioned this, but you can fall multiple times in rich stores and make a big deal out of it. Do this in like 10 stores and you will at least get 25 G(per store) out of it or in store credit :P.

Although it would be impossible without help because then it would be sketchy if you fall 10 times and sue them again and again.

-Sell Prepaid legal services to more than half of the population

- Sue for sexual abuse :J

 

[echoplex]

Here's an idea: Copy the sound and look of any given currently-successful pop artist and cash in on that shit. You won't need much talent, the key is having the right image. The producer will take care of the music, you just need to look like someone people would like to be associated with/live vicariously through, so they'll buy CDs, T-shirts, toothbrushes, and so forth based on the cult of You.

One month is actually an ideal timeframe for this task, because that's likely as long as your popularity will last before you're replaced by someone hotter/newer/more controversial. You'll already be considered an old cow by week 3.

It would help to get a TV show to accompany this venture. You need to be a character.

 

[AlisaD]

-I do not know if someone mentioned this, but you can fall multiple times in rich stores and make a big deal out of it. Do this in like 10 stores and you will at least get 25 G(per store) out of it or in store credit :P.

Although it would be impossible without help because then it would be sketchy if you fall 10 times and sue them again and again.

Might give it a shot, unfortunately I have this stupid body that doesn't tear easily, so I might have a problem obtaining a serious injury. Good suggestion, though.

-Sell Prepaid legal services to more than half of the population

Ugh, I'm already in the legal services business, and I have to tell you, it's as sleazy as it gets, I'd rather just kick people and steel their money, it feels like a more honourable choice.

- Sue for sexual abuse :J

Good one.

Here's an idea: Copy the sound and look of any given currently-successful pop artist and cash in on that shit. You won't need much talent, the key is having the right image. The producer will take care of the music, you just need to look like someone people would like to be associated with/live vicariously through, so they'll buy CDs, T-shirts, toothbrushes, and so forth based on the cult of You.

One month is actually an ideal timeframe for this task, because that's likely as long as your popularity will last before you're replaced by someone hotter/newer/more controversial. You'll already be considered an old cow by week 3.

It would help to get a TV show to accompany this venture. You need to be a character.

Hehe, it's good that it would only take 2-3 weeks, since any more of that crap would probably kill me.

I think I could make a pretty impressionable character if I gave it a shot, and with a bit of help from a range of carefully selected narcotics and hallucinogenics I might be able to endure the whole charade.

Would I have to wear pink? I can't do pink.

 

[Dormouse]

Pfft. Pink is so yesterday. Pulsing neon green out to do it, though.

Or black. Black like your corporate-crafted designed-for-marketing SOUL!

 

[AlisaD]

Pfft. Pink is so yesterday. Pulsing neon green out to do it, though.

Or black. Black like your corporate-crafted designed-for-marketing SOUL!

I can do black. Black is good.

But soul? What soul? I'm in show-business now.

 

[echoplex]

Yeah, pink isn't necessary, it just depends on your angle. Black would be good for winning over the 'goth' demographic.

Or, have you considered being a vampire? They are apparently all the rage and there's still time (eh, I'll give it 6 months) to cash in on vampire mania. Your music could be vampire-themed, or you could just forget music and write vampire books. Shouldn't take too long to write one of those. If you do, make sure your male protagonist is totally dreamy and all sweet and caring, basically the opposite of a vampire.

 

[Dormouse]

But give him a sexy evil brother. With a leather jacket, and a motorcycle.
That way you can cash in on fetishes both for nice guys and badasses.

 

[Cavallier]

Oh, do tell

Okay, but you asked.

Oddly enough I did some research for and essay on the BDSM scene in Las Vegas for a very progressive sex education and exploration class at university. I discovered that for obvious reasons most of this scene is made of up private groups as apposed to official businesses. However, I have it on good authority (from several good authorities actually) that if you visit the The Studio at Paradise Electro Stimulations boutique they can give you some people to get in contact with. I haven't ever been there but I think my information is accurate.

Yes, my life is an odd intellectual exploration of even odder material.

Edit: If you should decide to become a vampire in your pursuit of money I would think that would tie in well with the BDSM thing. If you became a pop star on top of that you could really break some young minds while also making your millions...I think this is shaping up nicely.

 

[echoplex]

But give him a sexy evil brother. With a leather jacket, and a motorcycle.
That way you can cash in on fetishes both for nice guys and badasses.

Ah, even better. And of course the two guys will be rivals, dividing fans into two camps, creating more merchandise. hmmm, maybe we could even squeeze in a nerdy vampire. We've got to make this META! Not a single fantasy shall go unexploited.

 

[Dormouse]

Oh god nerdy vampire.

Yes. So long as 90% of the cast is male. And I think we should include some ruffly haired young street urchin type. And mech-vampires from the future. Though that may get a but heady for the target audience...

Also, make sure it's easy to read. Four syllables/word max.

 

[AlisaD]

Okay, but you asked.

Oddly enough I did some research for and essay on the BDSM scene in Las Vegas for a very progressive sex education and exploration class at university. I discovered that for obvious reasons most of this scene is made of up private groups as apposed to official businesses. However, I have it on good authority (from several good authorities actually) that if you visit the The Studio at Paradise Electro Stimulations boutique they can give you some people to get in contact with. I haven't ever been there but I think my information is accurate.

Yes, my life is an odd intellectual exploration of even odder material.

Edit: If you should decide to become a vampire in your pursuit of money I would think that would tie in well with the BDSM thing. If you became a pop star on top of that you could really break some young minds while also making your millions...I think this is shaping up nicely.

I thought I was done with formal education, but your studies may just make me change my mind

Is there a copy of the paper I could read somewhere?

As for the plan to make money, I think I could make a great vampire/dominatrix. I have this small problem where I tend to faint when I see blood, but if I limit myself to emotional abuse and fake blood I think I'll do just fine.

Las Vegas - here I come :smiley_emoticons_mr

 

[AlisaD]

You could just forget music and write vampire books. Shouldn't take too long to write one of those. If you do, make sure your male protagonist is totally dreamy and all sweet and caring, basically the opposite of a vampire.

I'm sure I could purchase software on the Internet that just prints out this kind of books. No one in the world can make me believe that so many of them were written by actual human beings and that those humans didn't subsequently die of boredom or self-detest.

I'm sure that if I search hard enough I could find a nice little piece of software that allows you to choose how many characters of which sort you want, their hair colour, attitude, special powers and the maximum length of words and number of words per sentence.

I'll definitely look into that. Should be easy money.

 

[Cognisant]

And mech-vampires from the future.

Hell yeah

 

[CoryJames]

Hi. I am a Nigerian Prince being held as a political exile, yet I still have access to a computer. I do not want my enemies to get my hands on my massive fortune so I am willing to give it to YOU! All I need is all your bank information and a few thousand dollars in deposit so I can pay the only loyal friends I have left to get my fortune out of hiding.

What do you say?

 

[AlisaD]

Hi. I am a Nigerian Prince being held as a political exile, yet I still have access to a computer. I do not want my enemies to get my hands on my massive fortune so I am willing to give it to YOU! All I need is all your bank information and a few thousand dollars in deposit so I can pay the only loyal friends I have left to get my fortune out of hiding.

What do you say?

Oh Your Highness, you are too kind.

I would be more than happy to forward my entire savings in the sum of $3.56 to you. Hopefully this will suffice for some candy for your loyal friends.

Anxiously awaiting your reply and millions of dollars,
your loyal subject,
AlisaD

 

[CoryJames]

Oh Your Highness, you are too kind.

I would be more than happy to forward my entire savings in the sum of $3.56 to you. Hopefully this will suffice for some candy for your loyal friends.

Anxiously awaiting your reply and millions of dollars,
your loyal subject,
AlisaD

Damn, even my bank account has more in it than that, and I don't even have a full time job. Just three part time jobs, and a minorly attractive body which I sell for the pleasure of older women...

 

[Marbas]

Derp ? That was clearly not what I meant, what I meant was: Why do you identify yourself as an asexual ?

Seriously, you're like 14. I actually thought I was too, until 17.

 

[Melkor]

*Zooms in on his roller blades and hits the wall, before falling over in a visually painful manner and groggily picking himself up*

Er...oh...

Hey Alias..

Urh.. wow...sorry, there seems to be several of you, all rotating around a fixed point, with some of you intersecting at the same point during the spin..

d'ohhh..

Uhm, oh yes!


You're a middle aged INTP woman with little to no morals/inhibitions and a tragic yet amusing past.
I'm a young and able bodied *cough* INTP male with drunken extravert tendencies and girly hair.

That sounds so familiar!

The answer is so simple!

We should go into widespread and repitive prostituion together, touring countries worldwide and procuring fame, riches and foreign lovers as we go!!

That should get us at least half a million if we play it right, and always let someone else buy the drinks.

Afterwards, we can temporarily donate ourselves to the nearesy medical society , allowing them to better studying a pure and living specimen of every STI know to man, and some others they hadn't discovered yet!

WE'LL BE RICH! RICH AND LOVED!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[CoryJames]

Haha. Having tons of unprotected sex, then letting doctors/you cash in on it. Sounds like a solid plan.

 

[AlisaD]

I'll meet you under Pont au Change, Paris this Friday at midnight.

If the doctors manage to save us, you can sit on squares later and tell our story to passers by. You can start with:

"Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The gentlemen will be envious and the ladies will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't. It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my tarse up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder he sensed? Did he know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining, livelong moment. That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. I am Melkor and I do not want you to like me. "

*Zooms in on his roller blades and hits the wall, before falling over in a visually painful manner and groggily picking himself up*

Er...oh...

Hey Alias..

Urh.. wow...sorry, there seems to be several of you, all rotating around a fixed point, with some of you intersecting at the same point during the spin..

d'ohhh..

Uhm, oh yes!


You're a middle aged INTP woman with little to no morals/inhibitions and a tragic yet amusing past.
I'm a young and able bodied *cough* INTP male with drunken extravert tendencies and girly hair.

That sounds so familiar!

The answer is so simple!

We should go into widespread and repitive prostituion together, touring countries worldwide and procuring fame, riches and foreign lovers as we go!!

That should get us at least half a million if we play it right, and always let someone else buy the drinks.

Afterwards, we can temporarily donate ourselves to the nearesy medical society , allowing them to better studying a pure and living specimen of every STI know to man, and some others they hadn't discovered yet!

WE'LL BE RICH! RICH AND LOVED!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Cavallier]

^ Whenever I see women drooling over Johnny Depp I think of The Libertine and shudder.

Edit: Oh ho! That's quite the pun I hadn't intended.

 

[s0nystyle]

Haha. Having tons of unprotected sex, then letting doctors/you cash in on it. Sounds like a solid plan.

best.plan.ever

 

[Melkor]

If you like it so much you should join in Sony.

You can be the after-sex bad comedy act!

Also Alias, though you flatter me greatly, you know me better than myself.;D

 

[AlisaD]

^ Whenever I see women drooling over Johnny Depp I think of The Libertine and shudder.

Edit: Oh ho! That's quite the pun I hadn't intended.

Honestly, the Libertine was the only movie I considered drooling over Johny Depp, or any other actor for that matter, in.

At the end, when he's all eaten up by STD's and can barely walk, and says to the actor who is pretty, healthy and supposed to play him:

"I am nature, you are art, let us see how we compare."

Best line ever.

 

[Cavallier]

It was definitely a good movie. There is a lot there for a little Literature major like myself to sink my teeth into. It's a pity so few people have actually seen it.

Edit: I change my mind. I'm glad so few people have seen it because the mass consumption of some movies have really ruined my appetite for them.

 

[ashitaria]

I'm getting the impression that half the ideas above will not work.

As to comments about my sexuality:

 

[BigApplePi]

AlisaD. You need a million? No problem. This method WILL work. It's honest, uses skills you've already learned, the risk is small and you will make a friend if you don't mind losing one. (I hope you are INTP and won't mind losing one.)

Ready?

Simply take your small talk skills you've learned as related in another thread to make the acquaintance of a couple millionaires. Independently tell them you can make two million for them if they will share half with you. Take them both to Las Vegas. Sit them down in front of a roulette wheel and have them both bet two million. Just make sure one bets on red and the other on black. One should win as the odds are way in your favor. Take your million, shake hands (or exercise small talk) with your one million richer winner and run like hell from the loser. You can now retire.

My commission for this idea is only twp percent. Send me the $20,000 in care of INTP forum, BigApplePi. No need to thank me. The commission is its own reward.

 

[ashitaria]

AlisaD. You need a million? No problem. This method WILL work. It's honest, uses skills you've already learned, the risk is small and you will make a friend if you don't mind losing one. (I hope you are INTP and won't mind losing one.)

Ready?

Simply take your small talk skills you've learned as related in another thread to make the acquaintance of a couple millionaires. Independently tell them you can make two million for them if they will share half with you. Take them both to Las Vegas. Sit them down in front of a roulette wheel and have them both bet two million. Just make sure one bets on red and the other on black. One should win as the odds are way in your favor. Take your million, shake hands (or exercise small talk) with your one million richer winner and run like hell from the loser. You can now retire.

My commission for this idea is only twp percent. Send me the $20,000 in care of INTP forum, BigApplePi. No need to thank me. The commission is its own reward.

Unfortunately, you have not considered the cost of the air-plane, you have not considered the intelligence of the millionaires, and you have not considered whether they will be suspicious (which is self-explanatory).

Furthermore, I doubt those millionaires would trust you, let alone take the trouble of going all the way to Las Vegas. Millionaires are probably not stupid.

 

[BigApplePi]

Unfortunately, you have not considered the cost of the air-plane, you have not considered the intelligence of the millionaires, and you have not considered whether they will be suspicious (which is self-explanatory).

Furthermore, I doubt those millionaires would trust you, let alone take the trouble of going all the way to Las Vegas. Millionaires are probably not stupid.

Shhhh!

Small talk will separate the savvy milllionaires from the stupid ones. We are looking for the stupid ones.