Welcome! If you don't mind me asking what is it about INTJ males that doesn't go well?
I tend to beat myself up over trying to type men who pursue me because I don't want to miss aspects of who they really are because I was too busy trying to figure out their MBTI. But at the same time I notice a pattern most of the men who pursue me are INTJ. Then I've met some very unhealthy ones and I can really relate to some of the horror stories about being friends with or dating an unhealthy INTJ on the internet. I swear one I was close with in the past was a narcissist, and that really messed with my head and made it difficult for me to express my emotions to people interested in me.
In any event I've started dipping my feet in to the kiddie pool to try dating, see if I can develop a more healthy mindset and attitude about dating and relationships. I can't say I've been more than a bit nervous because the dates that started going somewhere, the men turned out to be INTJ. I really shouldn't let the MBTI dictate how I feel about the dates, I should let my feelings dictate how I feel about the dates. Going by MBTI alone is pretty shallow to me but at the same time I don't think I'm feeling it with the dates. I decided I am going to stop with the dating and just focus on making my life lovely. I don't really feel like wading around in that kiddie pool!
A lot of my close male friends are INTJ as well and I have no problems with them. I am wondering if there's a pattern I should be their friend for a long time first so we can gauge dynamics of how we treat one another during the friendship. It is easier for me to be friends with any potential romantic interest because I can see patterns how they treat others and me easier without tension on both of our behalf, the how we think we should be acting in order to impress one another thing. I know I impress simply by being myself and I really don't do well modifying myself for a date. I can't be anything but myself or else I'm quite unhappy. Though I understand I would need to compromise parts of my personality possibly in order to maintain a relationship, or at very least change my tact while still saying what I mean, though it'd be awesome to find someone who loved me for being me.
I think I've had one male INTP friend but our lifestyles didn't really give us much time to talk and bond (it was a time issue, both of us were very busy at the time). In any event I'm pondering going to Connecticon again and a convention up in Boston so I'm thinking there will be a lot of INTP there, it would be fun to meet more INTP. I'm big in to video games and cosplaying.
In any event I realized I am happy being alone, and would rather happily be alone than be in the wrong company.
(I'm allowed three emoticons a month. It's Sept. 1 here, so there goes one.)