Hello!
Well, i just found out some days ago that i was an INTP. And ive been reading like a maniac about the spesific profile, although not the whole process off identifying and the whole psychological thing that is behind.
Well, at start i was shocked, yet amazed and thrilled about how everything just clicked, like i found a purpose. And now i actually think there is hope for me and my future, if i just can fix todays problems...
Well.. I grew up in an extremely strict home with an almost abusing father, and i rarely or never got heard with my ideas to do things better, and my theories about everything on how to make a more effective cleaning schedule or to how we should set up our home network. At age 15 i finally moved to my mother, and i got heard, she actually listened to me, and it was great, for almost a year i actually felt like an honest person that didnt had to be forced to go behind my parents back to get through the day, or to satisfy my needs.
But then i started to slip, and i dont know why, i got back into old routines and started lying to get what i want and what i needed, although everything was fine, so slowly i tourned my situation into the old one i was stuck in, started to skip things i found imensly booring and hated. And thats where im at now, stuck in the basement, were the only type of comunication is most of the time shouting drivebyes when she have to get into the cleaning room (wich is next to my basement room).
Well thats the pre-story, so you know me a bit.
My bigest problem in life, is learning at school, it just doesent get to me, its booring things, and ive read a bit. And as you may know i get everything at once, the concept, the big picture. But im stubborn and hate to learn the details unless it genuinly interests me.
To give you an example.. When i first discovered the LHC experiment in Kern i sat at my desk and read for like 4-6 straight hours about dark matter, dark energy, quantom physics, in a dream like trance, just feeding and learning at once.
So my problem is that i cant learn properly math (for the most part because its repetition), but all the subjects we have i can tell the general idea and the concept behind it.
And just so you know, ive been jumping in and out of school for like 3 years now, and i havent even finished the first course. I go to "Vidregående", i dont know the name of the school-rank, but you start there when youre 16 and go there for 3-5 years.
Im kinda depressed about my situation, knowing that i will fail, but still i dont care because im not so well connected with my feelings, and people think im a jackass/ignorant person because of that, they tell me that i cant see the seriousness of my situation, altough i know it crystal clear. So i have isolated myself with my mind and my games, loosing friends, wich i off course regret, but still dont feel the motivation to fix either. Off course i care about friends, but on the emotional level i almost dont care, or dont want to care, or cant care..
So well, do you have any idea on how i can trigger that hyper-learning mode in my brain? Or generally fix my problem of geting involved and MOTIVATED in things i dont care or want to do.
Yea motivation is my bigest issue.
- Christian
(Excuse my bad english, and i hope i posted in the right category)
Well, i just found out some days ago that i was an INTP. And ive been reading like a maniac about the spesific profile, although not the whole process off identifying and the whole psychological thing that is behind.
Well, at start i was shocked, yet amazed and thrilled about how everything just clicked, like i found a purpose. And now i actually think there is hope for me and my future, if i just can fix todays problems...
Well.. I grew up in an extremely strict home with an almost abusing father, and i rarely or never got heard with my ideas to do things better, and my theories about everything on how to make a more effective cleaning schedule or to how we should set up our home network. At age 15 i finally moved to my mother, and i got heard, she actually listened to me, and it was great, for almost a year i actually felt like an honest person that didnt had to be forced to go behind my parents back to get through the day, or to satisfy my needs.
But then i started to slip, and i dont know why, i got back into old routines and started lying to get what i want and what i needed, although everything was fine, so slowly i tourned my situation into the old one i was stuck in, started to skip things i found imensly booring and hated. And thats where im at now, stuck in the basement, were the only type of comunication is most of the time shouting drivebyes when she have to get into the cleaning room (wich is next to my basement room).
Well thats the pre-story, so you know me a bit.
My bigest problem in life, is learning at school, it just doesent get to me, its booring things, and ive read a bit. And as you may know i get everything at once, the concept, the big picture. But im stubborn and hate to learn the details unless it genuinly interests me.
To give you an example.. When i first discovered the LHC experiment in Kern i sat at my desk and read for like 4-6 straight hours about dark matter, dark energy, quantom physics, in a dream like trance, just feeding and learning at once.
So my problem is that i cant learn properly math (for the most part because its repetition), but all the subjects we have i can tell the general idea and the concept behind it.
And just so you know, ive been jumping in and out of school for like 3 years now, and i havent even finished the first course. I go to "Vidregående", i dont know the name of the school-rank, but you start there when youre 16 and go there for 3-5 years.
Im kinda depressed about my situation, knowing that i will fail, but still i dont care because im not so well connected with my feelings, and people think im a jackass/ignorant person because of that, they tell me that i cant see the seriousness of my situation, altough i know it crystal clear. So i have isolated myself with my mind and my games, loosing friends, wich i off course regret, but still dont feel the motivation to fix either. Off course i care about friends, but on the emotional level i almost dont care, or dont want to care, or cant care..
So well, do you have any idea on how i can trigger that hyper-learning mode in my brain? Or generally fix my problem of geting involved and MOTIVATED in things i dont care or want to do.
Yea motivation is my bigest issue.
- Christian
(Excuse my bad english, and i hope i posted in the right category)