shoeless
I AM A WIZARD
what do you do when this happens? if it happens. i'm sure it happens, we're a bunch of intuitive perceiving types. it's inevitable.
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OK, it's on.
getting bored and craving a radical life change.
- Thread starter shoeless
- Start date
cheese
Prolific Member
Contract AIDS. That's pretty radical.
shoeless
I AM A WIZARD
radical is certainly one word for it.
now i feel like i should make a joke about conservative republicans, but that might be inappropriate.
now i feel like i should make a joke about conservative republicans, but that might be inappropriate.
I don't think it would be.
If I might suggest:
1) Drop out of school.
2) Join the circus.
3) Drop out of school AND join the circus.
4) Move to a different country (extra points if you don't speak the language).
5) Join the Peace Corps.
6) Become a mad scientist.
7) Start a website/blog and write about your crazy ideas (if you have them).
8) Join the military (actually, I don't really recommend this one, as it will prevent future radical life changes).
9) Do martial arts.
10) Hike the Alps and/or Appalachian Trail.
11) Be a devote practitioner of each of the world's major religions for one month each.
12) Become an organizer for a political party you disagree with so you can infiltrate them and sabotage their operations.
13) Get a really weird job.
I'm more serious about some of these than others, obviously.
In the other direction you could try and quell your rebellious nature and not make any radical life changes, but that seems like it would be detrimental to personal growth. I don't really have an answer for what I do, as it never really comes up; my life's radical enough as it is.
cheese
Prolific Member
Really? Sounds interesting - elaborate please!
I hate to hijack shoeless' thread, but if I must... and I'm probably going to really regret posting a list of reasons why I'm weird...
- I've either done or seriously considered doing most of the things on that list at one time or another.
- For example, dropping out of school
- Despite dropping out of school, I still fully intend to study and do PhD level work in the sciences, I just think it's silly I should need social approval from a bureaucratic system I'm at odds with in order to pursue my life goals
- In addition to that, I'm now in the middle of starting a business in a state I don't live in with a guy I've never met before
- Our business plan, you ask? It involves ocean colonization and micro-nation founding
- That's only one such project (specifically, the one where I also found someone else crazy enough to go in on it with me)
- Before this, my plan was to save up a paltry amount of money, move to a third world country with a ridiculously low cost of living, so I could work on my ideas without the distractions of jobs and everyday life
- And before that, I was just going to buy an RV or boat and live out in the middle of nowhere, while doing the same
- I'll probably end up doing one of those two anyways, eventually
- If you haven't noticed yet, I'm not a fan of mainstream lifestyles and hence I gave up my relatively lucrative full-time position to work two days a week (the bare minimum I need for a semi-sustainable income) so I could concentrate on my "crazy ideas"
- My family often refers to me as a misanthropic hermit
- Which is pretty much true, as I've lost most desire for human relationships and my only real friend is my dog
- As a result, I only ever talk to three people who I've known for years, and the people they occasionally force me to meet
- "Relationships" with women are almost strictly bound to a three year cycle involving amateur porn actresses I met on the internet.
- The weirder part is I didn't plan any of that, it just happened that way coincidentally (the previous point). So don't worry, I'm not "on the prowl" or anything like that.
- I'm not really worried that such a lifestyle might lead to life-long failure, poverty and extreme unhappiness, as I consider suicide a viable option at pretty much any point. (in response to Albert Camus' question of whether or not life is worth living, I've decided, "usually not") Edit: With the exception of when you have people/things depending on you, for whatever reason.
- and besides, the prospects of great rewards sometimes outweigh the highly probable risks we take (it's called a cost-benefit/risk-reward analysis)
Now that I've shared all that, a few supplementary comments I'd like to make:
a) Yes, I realize I might be a little loony, and that the number of people on this forum willing to talk to me probably just dropped exponentially
b) But if I was to give a long, detailed account of my life and how things came to be this way I think it would seem a lot more reasonable. It's just that I'm laying it out all at once to prove the point "my life is radical enough as it is."
c) After posting this, I'd like to retract the statement I made in another thread that I don't have restraints on my actions here as I'm unlikely to do anything that will get me banned. In retrospect, it seems quite a distinct possibility if I'm open enough about things.
d) I'm pretty sure I haven't even begun to cover all of it.
e) Accusations of what all might be "wrong with me" will be skeptically entertained.
I do hope I haven't scared anyone into normalcy now.
@OP
I change jobs, or towns, or countries, while I should really be changing myself.
I can be dumbish quite often.
I change jobs, or towns, or countries, while I should really be changing myself.
I can be dumbish quite often.
Au contraire, little boy, you just earned an old lady's respect - it is not an easy thing to come by.
cheese
Prolific Member
Melllvar, I can't find anything on that list really weird at all, let alone fear-inducing. Which is not to belittle any of it, but I find that so many 'far-out, totally insane!' choices are simply the culminations of many insignificantly small deviations from the norm - whether in action or thought. In fact, we just came across this same problem recently in this fanfic I'm trying to promote 
... er, Fundamental Attribution Error, which describes the tendency to attribute to others immutable personality traits as the main factor in unusual behaviour, whereas when assessing one's own behaviour "extenuating circumstances" take the bulk of the blow. An unwarranted focus on the inner (and usually unknowable, really) self, rather than sufficient attention to the environmental, knowable factors. Hence the common tendency to describe criminals as 'evil', 'wicked', 'monstrous' etc, instead of examining the circumstances that may have contributed to their decisions.
I don't even find your choices strange taking into account the usual dismissal of all of the above, but perhaps I've missed something.
Some of the people I find the strangest are those who are actively normal, and know mostly normal people, and consider themselves normal. It's not that I'm surrounded by fringe-dwellers. Actually I'm not entirely sure why I see things this way.
(The exclusively porny relationships was a little surprising, I admit.) (Shame and hellfire!
)
... er, Fundamental Attribution Error, which describes the tendency to attribute to others immutable personality traits as the main factor in unusual behaviour, whereas when assessing one's own behaviour "extenuating circumstances" take the bulk of the blow. An unwarranted focus on the inner (and usually unknowable, really) self, rather than sufficient attention to the environmental, knowable factors. Hence the common tendency to describe criminals as 'evil', 'wicked', 'monstrous' etc, instead of examining the circumstances that may have contributed to their decisions.I don't even find your choices strange taking into account the usual dismissal of all of the above, but perhaps I've missed something.
Some of the people I find the strangest are those who are actively normal, and know mostly normal people, and consider themselves normal. It's not that I'm surrounded by fringe-dwellers. Actually I'm not entirely sure why I see things this way.
(The exclusively porny relationships was a little surprising, I admit.) (Shame and hellfire!
)EyeSeeCold
lust for life
I've considered at least half of these.
Melkor
*Silent antagonist*
How about, you start using capital letters?
Good lord you could become world leader in week with such a relatively radical change.
Good lord you could become world leader in week with such a relatively radical change.
@cheese:
I think you're quite correct. It isn't that I view any of my own actions as bizarre or outlandish (well, most of them), so much as I've been trained to view myself through the lens of the majority, particularly when describing myself to others. I imagine also that people here are, in general, probably smarter and more open-minded than a lot of the people I've spent my life around. It's rather refreshing.
As to the porny-thing, that's not so much by choice as it is that 'fringe-dwellers' probably get along better with other 'fringe-dwellers,' or at least are more accepting of what they don't understand. Not that's specifically against my choices either; I'm just not particularly judgmental about such things.
On topic:
Anthile's interpretation seemed better. I think I interpreted the question overly literally as "what kinds of radical things can I do," rather than about the general problem of boredom and the grass looking greener in the neighbor's yard. Oh well.
I think you're quite correct. It isn't that I view any of my own actions as bizarre or outlandish (well, most of them), so much as I've been trained to view myself through the lens of the majority, particularly when describing myself to others. I imagine also that people here are, in general, probably smarter and more open-minded than a lot of the people I've spent my life around. It's rather refreshing.
As to the porny-thing, that's not so much by choice as it is that 'fringe-dwellers' probably get along better with other 'fringe-dwellers,' or at least are more accepting of what they don't understand. Not that's specifically against my choices either; I'm just not particularly judgmental about such things.
On topic:
Anthile's interpretation seemed better. I think I interpreted the question overly literally as "what kinds of radical things can I do," rather than about the general problem of boredom and the grass looking greener in the neighbor's yard. Oh well.
Dansk
Member
I've posted this before and no one even seemed to notice it, but I'll try again.
One of the most radical changes you can make to your life without getting really bizarre and permanent--sex change, suicide, killing spree--is to simply move to another country and teach English. I'm in South Korea doing it right now. It's easy, it pays well, and it takes about two weeks to arrange, depending on the relative difficulty of obtaining a work visa for your chosen country and finding a job.
I've been here six months next week, I have another nine to go before I set off on another really bizarre life altering curve: I'm going to take the train home to Canada, starting in North Korea. (No, that's not a typo.) At least, as far as it's possible to do so. I'll take it to England where the trail more or less ends and fly the rest of the way to Toronto. I'll stay with my family for a week or two, then I'm moving to Vancouver to start school again.
You tend to get addicted to radical life changes. I'm going to go nuts going back to school, living in the same city for three years, but I've come to realize that if I keep making these crazy left turns I'm never going to get anywhere, people don't trust someone who changes his mind every day. It's time to get serious about something or other. Time for a Master's degree, I suppose; my BA isn't doing much for me other than looking pretty on the wall.
Anyways, go teach English. Trust me, it's fun.
One of the most radical changes you can make to your life without getting really bizarre and permanent--sex change, suicide, killing spree--is to simply move to another country and teach English. I'm in South Korea doing it right now. It's easy, it pays well, and it takes about two weeks to arrange, depending on the relative difficulty of obtaining a work visa for your chosen country and finding a job.
I've been here six months next week, I have another nine to go before I set off on another really bizarre life altering curve: I'm going to take the train home to Canada, starting in North Korea. (No, that's not a typo.) At least, as far as it's possible to do so. I'll take it to England where the trail more or less ends and fly the rest of the way to Toronto. I'll stay with my family for a week or two, then I'm moving to Vancouver to start school again.
You tend to get addicted to radical life changes. I'm going to go nuts going back to school, living in the same city for three years, but I've come to realize that if I keep making these crazy left turns I'm never going to get anywhere, people don't trust someone who changes his mind every day. It's time to get serious about something or other. Time for a Master's degree, I suppose; my BA isn't doing much for me other than looking pretty on the wall.
Anyways, go teach English. Trust me, it's fun.
Cavallier
Oh damn.
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Bah! Normalcy is for the frightened and insecure.
Agreed. As for myself, I just move every 5 or 6 years. I go someplace new and get a new job. I meet new people. After a while it all gets boring and I move again. It's a rinse and repeat sort of thing. I think that teaching English gives you more options as to where you can go when it's time to move on.
typus
is resting down in Cornwall
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Has anyone ever told you that the style you use when writing about your life is akin to an Indian man whom has just become middle class, probably working in IT, and is very intent on giving his relatives the highest quality of life possible? i bet not!
EyeSeeCold
lust for life
Does teaching English involving learning a foreign language? I loathe learning new languages, except for French...Hmm, maybe I could teach English in France...*thinks out a scenario in which I major in English and move to France for a teaching job*
nexion
coalescing in diffusion
If you're really bored with your life... then I think you should change the way you perceive life. As in, force yourself to have a different personality type for a few weeks. That should be interesting, and instructive at the same time. I don't know how one would go about doing it or the long-term effects it would have, though...
If that sounds repulsing, I'd say just don't do anything. Everyone (I think) goes through a phase where they think their life is boring. It will pass. If you do anything, though, I highly don't suggest anything that will cause long-term detrimental effects. That's a bad idea. you said you want a life change. What can you do? Chasing after adventure will only get you hooked on adrenaline. Doing something radically different for a day... you will be bored with your old life within a week... doing something radically different for a long period of time... then you will get bored of that. You need to do something extremely radical, like, just radical, that will take a long time to complete and actually force a new lifestyle or perspective on life. It could be harder to do than you thought. Honestly, if it were me, I would just give up. it's too much effort. just wait for the boredom to pass. I was once bored with my life, and decided to try being an INTJ for a few weeks. It went terribly. I lasted about a day. Screw that. In retrospect, ISTP would have probably been a much better choice, that way I would only have had to develop two cognitive functions at a time instead of four.
If that sounds repulsing, I'd say just don't do anything. Everyone (I think) goes through a phase where they think their life is boring. It will pass. If you do anything, though, I highly don't suggest anything that will cause long-term detrimental effects. That's a bad idea. you said you want a life change. What can you do? Chasing after adventure will only get you hooked on adrenaline. Doing something radically different for a day... you will be bored with your old life within a week... doing something radically different for a long period of time... then you will get bored of that. You need to do something extremely radical, like, just radical, that will take a long time to complete and actually force a new lifestyle or perspective on life. It could be harder to do than you thought. Honestly, if it were me, I would just give up. it's too much effort. just wait for the boredom to pass. I was once bored with my life, and decided to try being an INTJ for a few weeks. It went terribly. I lasted about a day. Screw that. In retrospect, ISTP would have probably been a much better choice, that way I would only have had to develop two cognitive functions at a time instead of four.
nexion
coalescing in diffusion
Are you kidding me? I respect you about 100x more now. By the way, ocean colonization is an... eh, interesting? idea. I can't say it's excellent, because it hasn't been done yet. Just don't let it end up like Rapture did.
I love every bit of this post (except maybe meeting amateur porn stars...)
Dansk
Member
No, I can't say anyone has ever told me that. I'm curious to know what gives that impression.
No, there's no requirement to learn the language. Most people who come to Korea don't speak a word of Korean after living here for a year. I recommend you at least give it shot, though.
cheese
Prolific Member
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Actually, it'd be really interesting to hear from (almost) the horse's mouth what working in the sex industry is really like, and what people's reasons for entering are, if you've got any insight.
Dansk:
As for sex change as a radical life change, have a look at this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...ather-man-woman---man---knows-sex-hed-be.html
Charles Kane - interesting story
Here's a bit on the wife whose leaving was part of the reason for the first change:
I just find that hilarious.
Dansk
Member
I had a friend who'd been a sex worker for a year or two in her life. She had no problems with it either at the time or when I met her, several years afterwards. She started doing it because she liked sex and it was an easy way to make a lot of money, and she also had a fetish for older men, who were most of her customers. For her, it was just a 'kill a lot of birds with one stone' kinda thing.
Dansk
Member
Wow. What an incredibly sad story. While I'm jealous that he got to experience what life is like on the other side of the street, nothing is worth the cost of your real genitals. He says in the article that sex as a woman wasn't very intense, but I'd be willing to be at least some part of that is the result of having a reconstructed vagina. And now he's a man again, but he gave up his real penis in the process. Talk about a deal with the devil.
cheese
Prolific Member
Yes. Terribly sad; the stuff of nightmares. Another nod to the reconstructed vagina - you can't make that sort of statement in that position.
It really is such a privilege to be cisgendered. I can't imagine what incredible pain and trauma transsexuals go through (let alone people like Charles Kane, whose problems extend beyond gender, I suspect).
I'm not sure if I should post this here, or PM it, or start a new thread, but since it probably qualifies as a "radical life change," I'll go ahead:
It was mainly two girls, although I've met a few others that were strippers, or had done nudie photos, etc. One was a lot more open about it than the other. She was actually quite intelligent, had a master's degree, spoke multiple languages, and had a pretty decent resume. She'd also had a failed marriage that failed due to problems with schizophrenia, and that made it hard for her to have a normal job, get a PhD, etc. It was pretty much as Dansk described: she really liked sex, men, and could make a whole lot of money (up to $1000/day, averaging about $600). That was only for webcam stuff too. She eventually gave it up and got a normal job, mainly due to the disease risk associated with some of the people she was sleeping with. The other one I'm not so sure about, but she was kind of crazy and had been all over the place, hitch-hiking, best friends with homeless people, I think possibly homeless herself. She claimed she wanted to try and get into the film industry and thought that might be a way to break in (and it is for some, Sasha Grey of Entourage/The Girlfriend Experience started as a porn star), although I'm not sure if that was her real motive so much as she was just experimenting with something new. I'm not sure how far she took it as we didn't know each other that long. She was not doing webcam stuff, but would contact the guys on craigslist and get them to film her. I'm not sure how much money she made, but from my research that kind of stuff usually pays a few thousand dollars a shoot for the girls, a few hundred for the men, and tens of thousands for the really famous ones.
On a side note, and I genuinely don't mean any offense to women when I say this, there are probably a lot more girls who experiment with it but don't continue or tell anyone than there are who will admit to it. (Edit: This is true for guys too I assume. One straight guy I knew did gay porn when he was still in high school just for the money... and no it wasn't me) I say that because of the several girls I've known who I later found out had worked in strip clubs, or done nudie shots, and they sure weren't going around telling everyone about it. But with it being as stigmatized as it is you can't really blame them. The first girl I mentioned even said she had almost no female friends because girls were a lot less accepting of it than guys are.
It didn't actually say that his marriage went south because of the affairs. He might have started having them as a result of the failing marriage. I'm not really sure why some guys are so anxious to cheat honestly; it's never really been a problem I have. But others I've known pretty much couldn't help themselves.
I bet the fact that his 'vagina' was really just a sliced up penis that had been pushed in, and hence probably had a lot of scar tissue and destroyed nerves, was part of why sex wasn't as pleasurable for him as a woman. Even if he had been a 'real woman,' there's a lot of variability in girls and their, uh, sensitivity in various places anyway. Both the porn-girls I mentioned enjoyed it quite a bit more than the average lady.
Why are we talking about this!?
cheese
Prolific Member
Yeah, the 'dumb bitches/underprivileged needy' stereotype of the sex industry isn't totally accurate, I think. I read recently of this research scientist working as a prostitute to fund her work. Once she got enough money, she stopped doing it. Was always careful and I think served the higher-end market. A friend's sister works as a stripper, and she's a smart, nice girl, with no looming family or financial problems (I think).
Melllvar said:
Bit of a trend here.
Melllvar said:
I'd guess that you're right though. There isn't exactly a dearth of porn, or strip clubs.
Melllvar said:
No, it didn't say that, which is why I found it hilarious - he seemed to be implying it was because she was unhappy being left alone, or that he couldn't satisfy her, or some other problem which laid the blame (if it can be called such) at her door. The fact that in the very same sentence implying cause it mentions more than one affair is just priceless.
But like you say, we can't know for sure.
Melllvar said:
Maybe they were extra good at faking it. It would be a useful skill at work. It is more likely that they simply enjoyed it more though, considering their choice of career.
Melllvar said:Why are we talking about this!?
We've been Melllvarized!
Sooner or later we'll all be in strip joints.
Eh, I expect they enjoyed it more. Sensitivity/pleasure is one thing, but when you're having sex with several different guys a day, presumably multiple times with each, most of whom are "outside of work," you probably genuinely enjoy it. (and both of these girls were getting around quite a bit)
Believe it or not, the only time I've ever been to strip clubs was delivering pizzas. I just can't see the fun in torturing myself that way. I'm sure I'll go eventually.
Dansk
Member
I've been to a small handful of strip clubs. The first time because my friends dragged me to one when they found out I'd never been. The second time because my friend was depressed and convinced a lap dance was the only thing that would cheer him up. The third time because I decided to take my bisexual-leaning-towards-gay brother out just for the hell of it when we were very drunk.
I actually enjoy going there to people-watch. Both the patrons and the dancers are fascinating subjects, I like trying to figure out what their stories are.
I actually enjoy going there to people-watch. Both the patrons and the dancers are fascinating subjects, I like trying to figure out what their stories are.
EyeSeeCold
lust for life
I don't know where you pulled this from, but it is very much the truth. I'm not sure about other people and types, but adrenaline to me is a more of a drug that it is to other people. I used to love going to amusement parks, playing video games, going out etc, but it all became boring, I need a greater high. I've been noticing this for awhile now: everything in my life that has caused me to get a rush, I've been craving for a second time and anything of lesser value just will not do.
Because of this I suspect getting into the habit of living an extreme life could be self-destructive, even more than other people who can do it with moderation.
Cavallier
Oh damn.
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Now I'm imagining laid back Shoe attempting to get into the porn business. I'm certain this isn't what she was thinking of when she started this thread. 
As a female weighing in on the "doing porn as a side job" aspect of this discussion I think it's sad and a little ridiculous that there aren't very many (if any) safe and socially acceptable outlets for healthy intelligent women in the sex industry. I have known a couple of women who were strippers in their off time as well. (There really is a trend here.) The one I know well was a little ditsy (it might have been an act I could never be sure with her) but she was also very sweet and kind. There was an "amateur night" at a local club and she went for it just for the experience. She ended up working there a few times a month and used the money to help pay for school. We can't separate humans from their sexual desires. We need to have a safe, legal, and disease free environment for people to have legitimate jobs in this trade.
Also, I think that the stereotype of the guy always hungering after extramarital sex is a fallacy. Obviously there are people both male and female that are like this but in my experience if someone is cheating there were generally bigger problems with the relationship to begin with.
*Gets off soap box*
As a female weighing in on the "doing porn as a side job" aspect of this discussion I think it's sad and a little ridiculous that there aren't very many (if any) safe and socially acceptable outlets for healthy intelligent women in the sex industry. I have known a couple of women who were strippers in their off time as well. (There really is a trend here.) The one I know well was a little ditsy (it might have been an act I could never be sure with her) but she was also very sweet and kind. There was an "amateur night" at a local club and she went for it just for the experience. She ended up working there a few times a month and used the money to help pay for school. We can't separate humans from their sexual desires. We need to have a safe, legal, and disease free environment for people to have legitimate jobs in this trade.
Also, I think that the stereotype of the guy always hungering after extramarital sex is a fallacy. Obviously there are people both male and female that are like this but in my experience if someone is cheating there were generally bigger problems with the relationship to begin with.
*Gets off soap box*
cheese
Prolific Member
Most of whom are OUTSIDE of work? And if it isn't too much of an invasion, I'm curious what the relationship boundaries were like sexually.
Melllvar said:
See now, THAT'S weird. Being a pizza boy, I mean. Jobs like that just seem so strange and foreign to me.
@Cavallier:
I agree, the fact that they stigmatize it, or worse make it illegal, just drives it underground and makes it all less safe for the people who will end up doing it anyway. From what I've heard Holland's system seems much more sensible, where it seems to be above ground and safer, with testing, etc. It's kind of the same problem as with drug laws and prohibition, IMO.
Er, which boundaries? If you mean seeing other people, one was a very short term thing, the other one just didn't give a damn about monogamy. She was actually dating another guy she said she loved, and I was mostly just her "booty call," in her words. The guy she was with didn't seem to mind, as he was ok with open relationships too (I'm not so ok with open relationships, but then again I wasn't seriously dating her either). Not that we didn't hang out and do other stuff, but I was pretty much one of several friends with benefits (although I'm not really sure she was friends with the others... she only told me about the guy she actually liked). I'm not even sure how many other guys she was fooling around with. If you mean sexual boundaries, they were both freaks.
If the lurkers in this thread are judging me harshly based on this, I'd like to point out that you become a lot more open to what's available when you're terrible with women and the few girls you genuinely are attracted to are turned off by your horrid ability to interact in social settings and being on the bottom of your friend's social hierarchy.
I agree, the fact that they stigmatize it, or worse make it illegal, just drives it underground and makes it all less safe for the people who will end up doing it anyway. From what I've heard Holland's system seems much more sensible, where it seems to be above ground and safer, with testing, etc. It's kind of the same problem as with drug laws and prohibition, IMO.
Er, which boundaries? If you mean seeing other people, one was a very short term thing, the other one just didn't give a damn about monogamy. She was actually dating another guy she said she loved, and I was mostly just her "booty call," in her words. The guy she was with didn't seem to mind, as he was ok with open relationships too (I'm not so ok with open relationships, but then again I wasn't seriously dating her either). Not that we didn't hang out and do other stuff, but I was pretty much one of several friends with benefits (although I'm not really sure she was friends with the others... she only told me about the guy she actually liked). I'm not even sure how many other guys she was fooling around with. If you mean sexual boundaries, they were both freaks.
If the lurkers in this thread are judging me harshly based on this, I'd like to point out that you become a lot more open to what's available when you're terrible with women and the few girls you genuinely are attracted to are turned off by your horrid ability to interact in social settings and being on the bottom of your friend's social hierarchy.
cheese
Prolific Member
Er, which boundaries? If you mean seeing other people, one was a very short term thing, the other one just didn't give a damn about monogamy. She was actually dating another guy she said she loved, and I was mostly just her "booty call," in her words. The guy she was with didn't seem to mind, as he was ok with open relationships too (I'm not so ok with open relationships, but then again I wasn't seriously dating her either). Not that we didn't hang out and do other stuff, but I was pretty much one of several friends with benefits (although I'm not really sure she was friends with the others... she only told me about the guy she actually liked). I'm not even sure how many other guys she was fooling around with. If you mean sexual boundaries, they were both freaks.
Heh.
I meant sleeping with other people, but this is interesting information too. I've often wondered how porn actresses carry out their relationships. I read of one who decided to do exclusively lesbian scenes in order to be faithful to her boyfriend. There are others that are just open sexually, but not romantically (ie not really polygamous). Then there are those that are totally open, but maybe stick with one person more because they're closer. This reminds me of one comic strip (no, not an exhibitionist stand-up) I saw where the boyfriend of a porn actress is being asked excitedly what it's like to sleep with a porn star. He keeps going on about it till finally the boyfriend replies, "It's awesome, and she says I'm better than all the other guys." Then we see a thought bubble showing the girlfriend moaning in ecstasy as he massages her feet in bed after a hard day's work.
Melllvar said:
I expect that'd make them judge you more harshly, since it implies an uncharacteristic acceptance because of circumstance, reinforcing the idea that these girls are of lower standards. Better to ignore the accusatory lurkers in your head and just do what you want. (Unless you actually didn't want to date pornies. In which case, owelz.)
CoryJames
Banned
I shaved my head into a mohawk a few weeks ago when I had that urge.
I got banned from my haunt forum! Believe or not, but this is a very, very radical life-changer for me, as I've used years of my time along with thousands of posts to it. It actually had become some sort of an obsession to me.
Just can't decide whether this is good or bad.
Just can't decide whether this is good or bad.
EyeSeeCold
lust for life
It's neutral, you'll just find something else to obsess over.
nexion
coalescing in diffusion
I've had three or four forums like that. Two of them got hacked and entirely destroyed.
Juno
Member
I've got these on my "radical" life change list:
Joined a Jiu Jitsu club
Currently learning a new language (french, spanish, latin)
Gave my two weeks notice at my old job (best move ever)
Currently planning three years worth of travelling (first up: Cuba for a month)
Currently looking for a new apartment to live in
Joined a gym, going to get in best shape of my life.
list goes on....
Joined a Jiu Jitsu club
Currently learning a new language (french, spanish, latin)
Gave my two weeks notice at my old job (best move ever)
Currently planning three years worth of travelling (first up: Cuba for a month)
Currently looking for a new apartment to live in
Joined a gym, going to get in best shape of my life.
list goes on....
cheese said:
This is what I meant by "your horrid ability to interact in social settings..." When I try to make it better I usually just make it worse (even on a forum, apparently). What I actually meant was that I settled for casual sex with people I wasn't very interested in due to the fact that most girls I really was interested in didn't want to have much to do with me. Not that I considered them undesirable or anything like that.
I'm going to just shut up about this whole thing now.
BJJ or JJJ?
I've done about six different martial arts, and BJJ was by far my favorite. It's probably the perfect martial art for an INTP, in that the levels of complexity are truly astounding. Comparisons to chess are often used (quite appropriately). The BJJ crowd (and the martial arts crowd in general) probably won't mesh well with what I imagine the typical INTP to be though. In fact the main reason I quit doing MA was because I couldn't get along with 99% of the people doing it.