Gentlemen - How is your libido?

[Jaffa]

I don’t know if this is a strange question or not; but how is your libido?

I find myself to be completely unprimal, I like sex but can usually think of more constructive things to do with my time – is this just me?

 

[Cognisant]

Yes, you're weird.

 

[Jaffa]

Yes, you're weird.

EDIT: That's actually my life story

Welcome to INTP'ness.

 

[Absurdity]

I find myself to be completely unprimal, I like sex but can usually think of more constructive things to do with my time – is this just me?

I'd bet a small percentage of men with low libidos are actually asexual or have some sort of hormonal issue while the rest have low testosterone due to lack of physical activity, diet, and excessive porn viewing. Of course no one wants to admit those are the causes so they say they're asexual or uninterested in sex. I've told other people and myself this very lie but it's not convincing in the slightest.

That said, there's little need for high testosterone in the developed world if you don't do physical labor and don't go to clubs trying to get laid on the weekends.

Mine still manages to talk me into doing dumb shit from time to time.

 

[Cognisant]

Porn reduces testosterone?

I would have thought being aroused regardless of the circumstances would cause testosterone production, maybe not as much but still you'd the more often you're aroused the more often you'd think about sex and the hornier you'd become.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

http://yourbrainonporn.com/selected-testosterone-research
Seems like a widespread myth.

There are many other negative outcomes resulting from spending ones time on porn / sex adventures though.

 

[Grayman]

I'd bet a small percentage of men with low libidos are actually asexual or have some sort of hormonal issue while the rest have low testosterone due to lack of physical activity, diet, and excessive porn viewing. Of course no one wants to admit those are the causes so they say they're asexual or uninterested in sex. I've told other people and myself this very lie but it's not convincing in the slightest.

That said, there's little need for high testosterone in the developed world if you don't do physical labor and don't go to clubs trying to get laid on the weekends.

Mine still manages to talk me into doing dumb shit from time to time.

What about OCD or the dislike of the feeling of not being in complete control of your thoughts and feelings. Some men who are like this resort to anger and calling women degrading names for dressing certain ways. They blame the women for making them feel certain ways sexually. I never felt that way myself but I recenty began to suspect a OCD issue with my emotions on a general basis that causes me to control all my desires and feelings including sexual.

 

[Jaffa]

Just to elaborate on the initial question, it seems like my friends around me want to go out, find a girl and get laid. I'm more interested in the depth of a girl and would probably get more satisfaction out of an evening lost in conversation (if she is interesting) than a night 'in bed'. Analyzing myself, I think that I find the chase more exciting than the actual act of sex.

I still find girls attractive and perform when needed, but don't feel like a lot of my friends do in the sense of "MUST GET LAID RIGHT NOW". I was curious if this was an INTP thing or if it was just me. Or is it just the fact that I'm 28 and not 18 anymore?

 

[Grayman]

Just to elaborate on the initial question, it seems like my friends around me want to go out, find a girl and get laid. I'm more interested in the depth of a girl and would probably get more satisfaction out of an evening lost in conversation (if she is interesting) than a night 'in bed'. Analyzing myself, I think that I find the chase more exciting than the actual act of sex.

I still find girls attractive and perform when needed, but don't feel like a lot of my friends do in the sense of "MUST GET LAID RIGHT NOW". I was curious if this was an INTP thing or if it was just me. Or is it just the fact that I'm 28 and not 18 anymore?

Demiromantic

 

[Lot]

I'm a horny mofo. Some weeks I'm a 3 time a day fapper. I would say my libido is over powering. A couple days without masturbating, I feel like a big dumb ape with a one tracked mind. I can't hide from all of the sexual thoughts. Everything turns into a reason to think about sex. If I go two weeks then things are a lot more manageable. Either way, it's always in the top 5 things I think about in any given day.

Some times I really wish I was Asexual. I can see how it would make life much easier for me. My libido has become a problem several times in my life, if not all my adult life. I've easily spent 2-3 months viewing porn in the last 7 years. And all the unnecessary heartbreak from pursuing women. Oh, and the money spend for such reasons.

So how is my libido? Out of control.

 

[Absurdity]

http://yourbrainonporn.com/selected-testosterone-research
Seems like a widespread myth.

There are many other negative outcomes resulting from spending ones time on porn / sex adventures though.

Maybe I got mixed up, might not actually affect testosterone but it definitely affects libido. There was a period of like 4-5 months where I went without any porn to see what it would be like and I wanted to fuck everything that moved.

There are a lot of side benefits though, like not having such a messed up view of what constitutes feminine beauty and so on.

 

[EditorOne]

"... it seems like my friends around me want to go out, find a girl and get laid. I'm more interested in the depth of a girl and would probably get more satisfaction out of an evening lost in conversation (if she is interesting) than a night 'in bed'. Analyzing myself, I think that I find the chase more exciting than the actual act of sex....."

Nothing particularly weird in that.

I really posted just to point out that it doesn't have to be an either/or situation (either sex or conversation or a chase) but can be an "and/and/and" proposition. Just being literal - conversation doesn't rule out sex, sex doesn't rule out conversation, etc. And these things can be sequential over any period of time you want, hours, days, months.

Perhaps you should think of yourself as simply in intelligent control of your libido? :-)

 

[Grayman]

Maybe I got mixed up, might not actually affect testosterone but it definitely affects libido. There was a period of like 4-5 months where I went without any porn to see what it would be like and I wanted to fuck everything that moved.

There are a lot of side benefits though, like not having such a messed up view of what constitutes feminine beauty and so on.

Wouldnt porn make you want sex more?

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Maybe I got mixed up, might not actually affect testosterone but it definitely affects libido. There was a period of like 4-5 months where I went without any porn to see what it would be like and I wanted to fuck everything that moved.

There are a lot of side benefits though, like not having such a messed up view of what constitutes feminine beauty and so on.

However objective, I wouldn't take a single perspective for a sample.

There is a varied sex drive present in every male. Given that, your period of abstinence might have caused your organism to react and it might be biological or behavioral or induced by a chemical imbalance and some other factors.

Personally, when I get aroused, I add dealing with it to my to do list and often times I get distracted so that I remember the next time I became aroused that I should have done it few days earlier. This abstinence can last for a month even when unaided.

I'm trying to read more on the sex drive research but with no success as of yet.

 

[Lot]

Wouldnt porn make you want sex more?

Go to that yourbrainonporn link or the nofap sub reddit. Read about those guy's problems. Porn induced ED is a real thing. Depression, lack of motivation, social anxiety.

 

[Jaffa]

Demiromantic

Interesting read. But I am sexually attracted to girls from the go, I think this is probably more accurate:

Nothing particularly weird in that.

I really posted just to point out that it doesn't have to be an either/or situation (either sex or conversation or a chase) but can be an "and/and/and" proposition. Just being literal - conversation doesn't rule out sex, sex doesn't rule out conversation, etc. And these things can be sequential over any period of time you want, hours, days, months.

Perhaps you should think of yourself as simply in intelligent control of your libido? :-)

^ It usually is an and/and proposition, but bringing a new girl home doesn't have me thinking "Best get my pants off" as I'm walking through the door, completely opposite to what those around me seem to do... Intelligent control of my libido.... I'm going to remember that one

 

[Grayman]

Go to that yourbrainonporn link or the nofap sub reddit. Read about those guy's problems. Porn induced ED is a real thing. Depression, lack of motivation, social anxiety.

Seems to be a problem with masturbation, stress relief/dopamine/etc.., to be more exact and porn is just a tool for those who need it.

 

[Grayman]

I don't like sharing this but I don't feel normal and maybe it is just because no one talks about it or maybe I am just not normal...

I get erections too easily. My wife thinks it's funny to embarrass me and try to get me to erect in semi public areas like the car. In part maybe she feels special that she can do that to me. No one else has. Erections seem to be worse if I am tired and I am not certain why. Sometimes I have to ignore how the vibrations of the car are affecting me and to focus on something, anything else to keep things from happening. It never has anything to do with what I am looking at or thinking about. It's just the sensations.

Even with this being the case my body can be fully ready for sex but be completely uninterested mentally, and that is the case most of the time. During sex I always ejaculate by choice when my wife has gotten what she needed. I can ejaculate almost instantly during sex if I wanted to. It is purely a matter of how much focus I put on the sensations.

Porn itself is rather uninteresting male or female. I used to masturbate out of boredom while reading a book or watching a show but nothing sexual was going on in these activities. It was just something extra to get past a boring part of the book. Now my wife wants sex all the time and I am fully equipped to do that but just am not fully interested. It has always been this way.

I told a guy that I am generally and have never really been interested in sex. Of course the reaction was much like Absurdity. Disbelief and the accusation that I am addicted to porn. Of course there is the possibility that I am gay. The guy didn't say that though. It's not likely considering that I would rather deal with the sweat, grime, and the swap of various liquids with a women than deal with that with a man. Sometimes I wonder why we are attracted to any of this at all, it's like how dogs like to sniff each others butts. If i sniffed someones butt I would be rather disgusted by smell and the process. I don't feel that repulsion with a woman who I am completely comfortable with with. I suppose that is like when you share your toilet with your family and you don't feel grossed out about it but when you go out in public and use a restroom you have to put paper on the seat because the idea that someone elses butt touched that is rather disgusting.

 

[Pizzabeak]

Demiromantic

Not really. Most mature, or "normal", people are actually like that; don't see why it was necessary for someone to make up an obscure sounding term for it.

Like I said most girls are, actually, like that, if you've ever met one. They at least want you to know their name first. That's what most of that is.

But ejaculation increases oxytocin and some other endorphins, and decreases testosterone. I thought if you didn't ejaculate for a few days the testosterone levels increase. But that's why people die from masturbation overdose, the body seems motivated to rest afterwards so if someone ejaculates too much they just go to sleep. But more emotional people probably are more malleable with their "libido", or, I mean, are more active with their appeasements, but not really. It's mostly maturity. Some people are bored or unsatisfied with their lives so they indulge in substance abuse.

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

I have very high level of testosteron (but I'm young [20])

 

[ddspada]

My libido is usually low (as far as having an inner voice which tells me to get laid). I masturbate daily, perhaps 7-10 times a week. My sexuality is neither a significant source of pleasure for me nor a significant source of stress or preoccupation. It's just there. I see it as a constant want that seeks to be satisfied, like a smoker needing to get in at least X cigarettes per day.

Flirting and being in relationships gives me a great deal of anxiety but not very much additional pleasure (when compared to being alone in that sense). Of course I enjoy the physical sensations themselves: kissing, hugging, making out, sexual intercourse; but after thinking about it I find reading, playing computer games or folding origami to be just about as satisfying but a lot less stressful. I do not like pornography.

Much like Lot, I believe my life would be more satisfactory if I were completely asexual, or at the very least I'm open to entertaining the thought, much to the dismay of almost everyone who has heard me say so.

 

[Jaffa]

My libido is usually low (as far as having an inner voice which tells me to get laid). I masturbate daily, perhaps 7-10 times a week. My sexuality is neither a significant source of pleasure for me nor a significant source of stress or preoccupation. It's just there. I see it as a constant want that seeks to be satisfied, like a smoker needing to get in at least X cigarettes per day.

Flirting and being in relationships gives me a great deal of anxiety but not very much additional pleasure (when compared to being alone in that sense). Of course I enjoy the physical sensations themselves: kissing, hugging, making out, sexual intercourse; but after thinking about it I find reading, playing computer games or folding origami to be just about as satisfying but a lot less stressful. I do not like pornography.

Much like Lot, I believe my life would be more satisfactory if I were completely asexual, or at the very least I'm open to entertaining the thought, much to the dismay of almost everyone who has heard me say so.

I couldn't agree with this more. Asexuality is appealing, it would certainly allow for a more balanced life with more time for intellectual pursuits. Damn testosterone getting in the way, we should all become Eunuchs.

 

[Void]

non-existent

 

[J-man]

Does porn lower testosterone? If I never watched porn I would have been more motivated to get out and bang women. I would be stronger than I am, physically and character-wise. I bet my T would be higher if I never watched porn. As it is, I'm very sensitive. Being in public is so uncomfortable for many reasons, one being that I'm physically weak (typical INTP body? I know y'all motherfuckers have no butts).

Right now I'm doing nofap and no sex. It's been 22 days, and since day 7ish I've been more outgoing, dominant, and slightly more risk-taking.

 

[Idunno]

Maybe y'all are just ugly muthafuckas

 

[Grayman]

Maybe y'all are just ugly muthafuckas

I wouldnt know. I'm am suffering from Anosognosia Narcissism.

 

[Idunno]

I wouldnt know. I'm am suffering from Anosognosia Narcissism.

Oh, sorry to hear

 

[Grayman]

Oh, sorry to hear

And you are suffering Auditory agnosia because I am sure I didnt make a noise.

 

[Brontosaurie]

upper ranges of normal i think

 

[Analyzer]

High

 

[Idunno]

And you are suffering Auditory agnosia because I am sure I didnt make a noise.

Haha

My hearing is just fine, just edited my post.

How about we just both call each other arrogant? It's much simpler and nicer that way =D

 

[Grayman]

Haha

My hearing is just fine, just edited my post.

How about we just both call each other arrogant? It's much simpler and nicer that way =D

Yes, but that would take all the fun out of it. If I am going to be an arrogant asshole might as well do it right.

 

[Idunno]

As an intp I like to keep it short and simple. People don't like to hear labeled terms. Its just not nice. You do have a very good point however haha

 

[Architect]

Priapic.

 

[Oddity]

Maybe I got mixed up, might not actually affect testosterone but it definitely affects libido. There was a period of like 4-5 months where I went without any porn to see what it would be like and I wanted to fuck everything that moved.

How old were you then?

go out, find a girl and get laid.

As for "go out, find a girl and get laid", I'd love to — and if there was even a tiny chance that I could pull that off, I would try it. But, well, I'm an awkward INTP who isn't even particularly proud of their life situation or anything, so attracting a female somehow is mostly out of the question until I get my shit together somehow.

Actually I'd even go for "go out, find a girl, form a relationship and then sex" but it's extremely hard for me to meet people around here. There's nothing in town for young nerdy-ish people except the college, and I'm not a student.

 

[Grayman]

There's nothing in town for young nerdy-ish people except the college, and I'm not a student.

Sounds like an easy solution. College students get a lot of sex I hear.

 

[Jaffa]

As for "go out, find a girl and get laid", I'd love to — and if there was even a tiny chance that I could pull that off, I would try it. But, well, I'm an awkward INTP who isn't even particularly proud of their life situation or anything, so attracting a female somehow is mostly out of the question until I get my shit together somehow.

Actually I'd even go for "go out, find a girl, form a relationship and then sex" but it's extremely hard for me to meet people around here. There's nothing in town for young nerdy-ish people except the college, and I'm not a student.

How old are you?

You need to push those boundaries, go and watch Sex in the City and then live the evening as a pseudo-extrovert. Ever since I learnt about the MBTI I have tried to lead a more balanced life, to be more carefree when out and in social situations. Alcohol helps.

But talking about the "go out, find a girl, form a relationship and then sex" is kind of what this thread was aimed at, as I regularly feel like that. It's like my juvenile Fe has this misinformed opinion on what romance is.

INTP: Laying awake at night contemplating things that were said and done and not being able to sleep.... when you only met the girl last week. Fast forward into the relationship and you spend absolutely no time at all thinking of your partner, you'd rather contemplate the latest chapter of your book.

Non INTP: Sleeping so well because it's early days so there's no hopes and dreams for the relationship. Fast forward into the relationship and the non INTP is lay awake at night contemplating things that have been said and done..... While your partner sleeps well, probably dreaming about the latest chapter of their book.

At least that's my take on the whole thing.

 

[nscottb]

It's always been low, other than the mating call when I was younger. But, after prostate surgery, it is all but gone; it didn't help when the Dr snip an extra nerve in the process

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I probably prefer the company of a-sexuals over others, but I'm not a-sexual myself, and I'm definitely not a-romantic. This goes back to Jung in how he thought you didn't have to be oriented outwardly to have such psychological/sexual energy. If I'm uncomfortable with expression/in public it's more a social issue than libido.

 

[Oddity]

How old are you?

You need to push those boundaries, go and watch Sex in the City and then live the evening as a pseudo-extrovert. Ever since I learnt about the MBTI I have tried to lead a more balanced life, to be more carefree when out and in social situations. Alcohol helps.

I'm 24.

Sounds like an easy solution. College students get a lot of sex I hear.

I don't know if simply becoming a student will help me in that department — especially since I'm 24, as I said above. If I just started now (or next fall), I'd be 6-7 years older than my classmates and it might creep the girls out or something. Plus I have no idea how to flirt or anything... Spending my entire teenage years on the computer didn't help there :P Plus just being an INTP in general.

I feel like I've missed the sexual experimentation boat already, and it's too late to learn how to get into dating and stuff

 

[Grayman]

I'd be 6-7 years older than my classmates and it might creep the girls out or something.

Creep them out?! Hardly. They like older men. We are not talking about a Hugh Hefner gap. This is a fairly shallow rabbit hole.

Find a women who will not have sex until marriage so that she is as sexually stupid as you.

 

[CharlesRivers]

I was also under the impression that something was wrong with me. I may masturbate up to 5-6 times in a day. I can go from flaccid to erect merely with the thought of sex. Most girls like it because they don't feel forced to perform orally. LOL. However, I can't have sex with women that I'm not extremely attracted to, unlike many of my friends. I also am capable of ejaculating at any moment, normally doing it once the girl is satisfied. Unless, I believe that a quick ejaculation would be a boost to her ego. Preferably, I would have sex all day (which is an enormous obstacle in the pursuance of my own endeavors) but unfortunately (or fortunately) I have yet to meet a woman with the same sexual desire. Therefore, Pornography has quickly become my second best-friend.

 

[Oddity]

Creep them out?! Hardly. They like older men. We are not talking about a Hugh Hefner gap. This is a fairly shallow rabbit hole.

Find a women who will not have sex until marriage so that she is as sexually stupid as you.

Well, that can't be a good idea. Especially since I don't want to wait until marriage (or get married at all, for that matter...)

But even if you're right that they like [slightly] older guys, I'm still clueless at flirting and how to get anywhere with the opposite sex. That's why I think I've already missed the boat for sexual experimentation and stuff...

 

[pjoa09]

I masturbate twice a day as a prescription.

If I don't, I'll split my differential and tip the fuck over. Or worse yet, implode.


Sometimes I wish I wasn't so damn horny. Then I am reminded of all those who bitch about a low libido and that just makes me glad that my penis is always ready to go.

Some days all I do is masturbate.


But yeah, being clueless about women doesn't help.