Frustration

[LPolaright]

Lately, my work gave me a vacation for a week. On the first day I was happy and excited and it even stretched out to the next two days... But now on the fourth day I seem to run out of ideas to what should I do at home, I'm trying to learn new things and search for exciting new things like the Pod'Lair (Which I just found), the MBTI and body language... but the more I dwell into these things the more I realize that there is a need for the knowledge to sink in and rest in its place correctly.

So that leaves me out with nothing to do but watch tv shows and movies. And all is good but it gets me frustrated and feel powerless... especially because I do want to learn and acquire more at this short vacationing time.

But the question here is not how I solve the problem I face, because I'm currently working that as another thing to do.

The question is how do you deal with this kind of frustration? How do you shake off this feeling of powerlessness? What experiences of frustration did you get?

 

[Deridaburi]

I'm frustrated that everyone(generalization) in my life doesn't seem to think about anything except the mundane. They don't care about learning or looking at life with a new perspective. Everyone(generalization) is happy to live safely in their day to day lives and not worry about what they don't understand, they just don't care. And if I talk them about new or seemingly unrelated ideas they just look at me like I'm crazy, then again maybe I am. Is everyone in my life so stupid to think that life is all about some school drama that will pass in less than two weeks? Not only that I'm frustrated with my own stupidity, but that's a whole different matter. To deal with this frustration I read the ideas on this forum.

 

[LPolaright]

I'm frustrated that everyone(generalization) in my life doesn't seem to think about anything except the mundane. They don't care about learning or looking at life with a new perspective. Everyone(generalization) is happy to live safely in their day to day lives and not worry about what they don't understand, they just don't care. And if I talk them about new or seemingly unrelated ideas they just look at me like I'm crazy, then again maybe I am. Is everyone in my life so stupid to think that life is all about some school drama that will pass in less than two weeks? Not only that I'm frustrated with my own stupidity, but that's a whole different matter. To deal with this frustration I read the ideas on this forum.

Amen to that.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

The question is how do you deal with this kind of frustration? How do you shake off this feeling of powerlessness? What experiences of frustration did you get?

How do I deal with it? Procrastinate! The feeling subsides, but it's always there. Every day I get little reminders of how stagnant my life is, but once in a while something big happens and I just want to run like hell and escape.

I'm 100% sure if I don't get out soon I'm going to explode in anger or crack.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Amen to that.

I second that.

 

[shadowdrums4]

What frustrates me? The constant reminders that I am stuck here for a while. I procrastinated on getting into college (and I'm still not sure I really want to go) I remember talking to a close friend about it, explaining how useless I thought those degrees were. School isn't about knowledge anymore, it's about the numbers you get (at least it seems that way here) and I'm honestly not sure I want to go through another four+ years of it. I've been told college is different, but I just couldn't seem to convince myself it was worth going. Then my Dad started really frustrating me, he doesn't care about us, he only cares about whether or not there is a sock on the floor or a fork in the sink to clean. He gives us no credit for the things we do, yes I lost my job a little bit ago, but I'm working on getting a new one and it only bothers you because you've been taking money from me. One day he yelled at me over nothing and I became so frustrated that on a whim I applied for college stuff, now it looks like I'm probably getting in and not paying a dime to do it. My father wants me to give him some of my scholarship money and is using my brother and sister as bait so I don't have a choice but to do it. I also have an extroverted brother who has to have at least 5 people here every weekend, and they'll trip out on ether or shrooms or drink. I put a "stranger limit" on him which he ignored finally saying "who cares about you and our little sister?" I have a pretty high list of family members who don't care about me at all. I'm not social, I'm not "practical" since I have no interest in getting good grades to impress people. On top of that, everyone around me seems to be so needy. I'm constantly cleaning up and helping people with homework. I've become everyone's main source of advice so people are always telling me what's happening to them, and then I get mad when I learn some of their situations because I don't understand either why it's bothering them or why the other person is doing whatever it is in the first place. Why cheat on someone? Why abuse your child? Why talk shit about people behind their backs instead of just telling them the problem you have with them? Back to my father again for a minute, when he works, he works for bar money so he can drink, while my mom works a bunch of doubles to support us. Now I'm the mother for my siblings.
How do I deal with all the pent up anger and frustration? I have a few close friends that I talk to about it, and I play and listen to music. When I'm drumming, my father can't bother me. When my stereo is on (which is about 25 years old, it's older than me and I got it working.) no problems matter. I put everything into my music, and I am calm and ready to face everything again. I'm also lucky because unlike most INTPs I've seen here, I have found a lot of people who accept and understand me. What I lack in my family, I get from my friends. (who seem more like family to me) Remembering how lucky I am in that regard also helps me get through all the frustration.
I have decide that I am going to take charge of the situation with my brother though. I kicked out his 3 obnoxious stranger friends and warned the others that next time things got that out of control, I would kick everyone out. I've also warned them not to come over without running it by ME. I have also warned that if I ever smell ether again, I'm kicking everyone out (not just those who are doing it) It frustrates me that I have to be such a nazi about this, but apparently they can't keep themselves under control and my brother won't do it. Someone's gotta look out for my sister.

Short version: Lots of things in my life bother me. How I deal with it? Drums and close friends and hanging out with my mom when she's around.

 

[dark]

@ shadowdrums4, from reading what you posted, you remind me of my mother, which is an INFJ, well atleast how you view people, and how you said you deal with people etc. (btw this is in no way to make offense, if you are an INTP then you have developed you Fe).

Things that frustrate me... the idiots I have to be constantly intertwinded with. The dim-witts that can't see past the lenses in their eyes. WTF why can't people have a normal conversation with out jumping to conclusions that I insulted them (insert anger face here), it is like I am surrounded by touchy F function people. All this Christian Jesus loving bull shit, I can't escape it. (insert horrifid face here). All I want is to discover more knowledge, to experiment on everything, experience everything, read everything, why is that so much to ask? And WTF just because you go to church, does not make you a good person, where the hell are these idiots I am living near get these ideas? Also the fact that I am still stuck in this dead end culture until I get a degree of some kind. And why is it every other extroverted person seems to have a grudge against me? Seriously. And why can't I live forever, it isn't fair I wont get to see what happens 100 years from now. I wont even get to see the universes demise. I want to stand alone (or maybe with someone else) at the worlds end, watching as the universe finally destroys itself. Why do I have to work in the human machine? I refuse to be another gear, working the machine in a timely fashion, which is why I am going to teach somewhere, that way I can slowly destroy the machine, bring it down. I want to destroy everything, and start it over. It just seems everything is getting to out of hand, humans are letting go of their freedoms, handing over everthing just to make the "authority" happy. Hey lets hand over our money to the man in the sky. Ching ching, where are my pockets?
Welcome my friends, find your chairs, sit, it'll be a while as we shape you, as we form you to our needs, you will do well. Smile proudly, you have lost your selves, we are happy for you, welcome to the human machine.

 

[nexion]

Lately, my work gave me a vacation for a week. On the first day I was happy and excited and it even stretched out to the next two days... But now on the fourth day I seem to run out of ideas to what should I do at home, I'm trying to learn new things and search for exciting new things like the Pod'Lair (Which I just found), the MBTI and body language... but the more I dwell into these things the more I realize that there is a need for the knowledge to sink in and rest in its place correctly.

So that leaves me out with nothing to do but watch tv shows and movies. And all is good but it gets me frustrated and feel powerless... especially because I do want to learn and acquire more at this short vacationing time.

But the question here is not how I solve the problem I face, because I'm currently working that as another thing to do.

The question is how do you deal with this kind of frustration? How do you shake off this feeling of powerlessness? What experiences of frustration did you get?

That is my entire summer. How do I deal with it? I don't. I just stay bored and usually depressed the entire summer. It sucks.

If I actually did anything I plan on doing, I would have learned a great deal of physics, math, and chemistry that summer, and perfected C++...

I'm frustrated that everyone(generalization) in my life doesn't seem to think about anything except the mundane. They don't care about learning or looking at life with a new perspective. Everyone(generalization) is happy to live safely in their day to day lives and not worry about what they don't understand, they just don't care. And if I talk them about new or seemingly unrelated ideas they just look at me like I'm crazy, then again maybe I am. Is everyone in my life so stupid to think that life is all about some school drama that will pass in less than two weeks? Not only that I'm frustrated with my own stupidity, but that's a whole different matter. To deal with this frustration I read the ideas on this forum.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

Along with what Deridaburi said, society frustrates (and sickens) me greatly. It's the way it's set up... I can't go into detail on that right now though.

 

[Cavallier]

Not "dwell" but "delve". That was bugging the hell out of me.

I suffer from ennui a lot. It's a mixture of boredom and aimlessness with no real energy to start anything. It's frustrating because I want to really get into something but I'm having trouble focusing. I go for walks and sort through the ideas in my head. I try to exert some willpower and force myself to focus on something specific I want to learn.

 

[echoplex]

What frustrates me? Right now my body. I'm just not a very healthy person apparently. I work out, I eat healthily (for the most part), but my body continues to fail me. Everything's a fucking problem when you feel bad all the time. I can't even concentrate well enough to read something half the time, not to mention summoning the (already scarce) motivation to change anything about my....life. I feel like my brain is shot, not that it was ever that great anyway, but I can't seem to think well anymore, except for my rare 'good' days.

And yeah yeah, society and everything sucks, but that hardly registers when you're just hoping you'll be around to complain about it. Such concerns are a luxury really.

Of course, everything could be much worse. There's always that.

 

[Fukyo]

What frustrates me? Right now my body. I'm just not a very healthy person apparently. I work out, I eat healthily (for the most part), but my body continues to fail me. Everything's a fucking problem when you feel bad all the time. I can't even concentrate well enough to read something half the time, not to mention summoning the (already scarce) motivation to change anything about my....life. I feel like my brain is shot, not that it was ever that great anyway, but I can't seem to think well anymore, except for my rare 'good' days.

And yeah yeah, society and everything sucks, but that hardly registers when you're just hoping you'll be around to complain about it. Such concerns are a luxury really

Out of my head.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

which is why I am going to teach somewhere, that way I can slowly destroy the machine, bring it down. I want to destroy everything, and start it over. It just seems everything is getting to out of hand, humans are letting go of their freedoms, handing over everthing just to make the "authority" happy. Hey lets hand over our money to the man in the sky. Ching ching, where are my pockets?
Welcome my friends, find your chairs, sit, it'll be a while as we shape you, as we form you to our needs, you will do well. Smile proudly, you have lost your selves, we are happy for you, welcome to the human machine.

Have you heard of Lewis Black? You remind me of him in Accepted. I think he might be ENTP, he even had people at his feet, teaching them like Socrates allegedly did.

 

[dark]

Oh wow the horrors of being compared to Lewis Black again. That happened to me when I started ranting a couple years ago in my engineering class. But seriously that is my main frustration, all the other things that are annoying, I couldn't care less about. Guess that stems from my extremist views on the human effort of advancement etc.

 

[Ermine]

Why am I frustrated? I don't have the time to do as well in college as I know I can. It's been an intense semester. I've been taking calculus and physics, among other things. Both are fascinating subjects, but I just don't have enough time to keep up, and my grades are showing it. My calculus class is at a really fast pace, and my physics class? The teacher is brilliant, worked for NASA and the air force, but for all that he still can't explain anything. This the first time I've accepted low grades as "normal" and it's sickening. On top of that, after all the work and research I put into choosing my computer science major, I don't think it's for me. I can only have so much confidence in my next major decision. And I don't have any time to breathe, relax, or work at any of my hobbies. I haven't done much art at all and it's killing me.

What's scariest is that I'm becoming numb to the whole situation because I'm so tired of feeling frustrated. I don't have any room to be frustrated about people/society and their shortcomings.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Why am I frustrated? I don't have the time to do as well in college as I know I can.

What's scariest is that I'm becoming numb to the whole situation because I'm so tired of feeling frustrated.

Are you in CC or a 4 year?

Also, I know what you mean. Initially I didn't know why I wanted to go to college. Then I realized it would be cool to be an Engineer. But now with all the dificulty and no mentoring I feel like just leaving it all behind. The effects of my bad work habits don't even affect me anymore.

 

[Ermine]

Are you in CC or a 4 year?

Also, I know what you mean. Initially I didn't know why I wanted to go to college. Then I realized it would be cool to be an Engineer. But now with all the dificulty and no mentoring I feel like just leaving it all behind. The effects of my bad work habits don't even affect me anymore.

4 year.

 

[Puffy]

Bah, a few things. For the most part it's lacking people to openly express myself to. Doubt I'm on my own there, strangely. This forum is nice, but even then I feel I would be dismissed if I decided to open up the things that matter. I think my approach to frustration is to remember for all that you knock down is space to build something new.

 

[chuhulil]

I'm frustrated because no matter how much I want someone to respect my beliefs, or those of my friends. I'm frustrated that very few of the people I meet are open-minded. I'm also frustrated at all the sheer ignorance in this world. There's too much of it.

 

[shadowdrums4]

@ shadowdrums4, from reading what you posted, you remind me of my mother, which is an INFJ, well atleast how you view people, and how you said you deal with people etc. (btw this is in no way to make offense, if you are an INTP then you have developed you Fe).

I've actually considered it before, but I know I definitely have Ne as my second (maybe first) function. I also know I have Ti and Fe. ENTP or INTP are my only options. My main point of the frustrations I put down was how frustrated I am that I have to use my Fe so much because of the people around me, my father who doesn't seem to care about what we want. My extroverted brother and his friends who need things constantly like advice and stuff, and that I'm basically a mom to my siblings when I don't want to be. What helps me through it are my friends (and I don't think I mentioned how few of those their are) and music. Music helps me because I release all that built up Fe so that it's not bothering me and I can take in more. At the same time, as I listen to music I can use my Ne to figure out what new things I could play behind what I'm listening to, and I can analyze the music. The chord structures and time signatures, what rhythms I'm hearing. While I'm doing that, I feel like I'm in my own little world doing what I want to do, which is understand the things in the music that make me like it.

I have an INFJ mother as well, which is probably where the Fe development came from. I also found out a close friend of mine is an INFJ with developed Ti yesterday. When he started showing me some of the things he could do with Ni, I know I could never do it. Of course all I know on cognitive functions came from the CF100 thread, so I might be completely wrong.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I've actually considered it before, but I know I definitely have Ne as my second (maybe first) function. I also know I have Ti and Fe. ENTP or INTP are my only options. My main point of the frustrations I put down was how frustrated I am that I have to use my Fe so much because of the people around me, my father who doesn't seem to care about what we want. My extroverted brother and his friends who need things constantly like advice and stuff, and that I'm basically a mom to my siblings when I don't want to be. What helps me through it are my friends (and I don't think I mentioned how few of those their are) and music. Music helps me because I release all that built up Fe so that it's not bothering me and I can take in more. At the same time, as I listen to music I can use my Ne to figure out what new things I could play behind what I'm listening to, and I can analyze the music. The chord structures and time signatures, what rhythms I'm hearing. While I'm doing that, I feel like I'm in my own little world doing what I want to do, which is understand the things in the music that make me like it.

That's because you don't have Fe. If you had it it wouldn't be frustrating to use it. You are an Fi valuing type. Meaning, the possible types are ESFP, ENFP, ISFJ INFJ, ISTP, INTP, ENTJ, or ESTJ. I assume you are introverted, so the Es have been crossed out. You prefer intuition so the Ss have been crossed out also. You are either INFJ or INTP. Do you prefer logic or ethics?

 

[shadowdrums4]

That's because you don't have Fe. If you had it it wouldn't be frustrating to use it. You are an Fi valuing type. Meaning, the possible types are ESFP, ENFP, ISFJ INFJ, ISTP, INTP, ENTJ, or ESTJ. I assume you are introverted, so the Es have been crossed out. You prefer intuition so the Ss have been crossed out also. You are either INFJ or INTP. Do you prefer logic or ethics?

I'd say logic. I'm confused now though. I thought INTPs had Fe as their 4th function and INFJs had it as their second? I thought they didn't have Fi? I also thought the main difference was one has Ni/Se and one has Ne/Si, but they both have Ti/Fe?

 

[nexion]

I'd say logic. I'm confused now though. I thought INTPs had Fe as their 4th function and INFJs had it as their second? I thought they didn't have Fi? I also thought the main difference was one has Ni/Se and one has Ne/Si, but they both have Ti/Fe?

I thought the same thing. Well, actually, I know that is the difference. In an INTP, the first is Ti and the last Fe. In an INFJ, the dominant is Ni, then Fe, then Ti, then Se.

So, to answer your question, yes, they do both has Ti and Fe, but INTJ values Fe much higher, while INTP values Ti much higher.

I think that it is possible that eyesseecold knows what he is talking about when he says you have Fi rather then Fe. If you are an INTP, then you likely express barely any Fe. However, it is possible for you to have developed your Fi above your Fe, despite it not being part of the INTP type. One time I took a cognitive functions test, and it gave me Ti, Ni, Ne, and Fi as the first four, two of which are not naturally in my type. So I think it is perfectly possible for that to happen.

Or, I'm reading too much into this and eyesseecold really has no idea what he's talking about.

In all seriousness, though, eyesseecold knows much more about this subject than I do, so I doubt he would get such an elementary premise wrong.

 

[shadowdrums4]

I thought the same thing. Well, actually, I know that is the difference. In an INTP, the first is Ti and the last Fe. In an INFJ, the dominant is Ni, then Fe, then Ti, then Se.

So, to answer your question, yes, they do both has Ti and Fe, but INTJ values Fe much higher, while INTP values Ti much higher.

I think that it is possible that eyesseecold knows what he is talking about when he says you have Fi rather then Fe. If you are an INTP, then you likely express barely any Fe. However, it is possible for you to have developed your Fi above your Fe, despite it not being part of the INTP type. One time I took a cognitive functions test, and it gave me Ti, Ni, Ne, and Fi as the first four, two of which are not naturally in my type. So I think it is perfectly possible for that to happen.

Or, I'm reading too much into this and eyesseecold really has no idea what he's talking about.

In all seriousness, though, eyesseecold knows much more about this subject than I do, so I doubt he would get such an elementary premise wrong.

I remember when I was first looking into this, I took the book test and tested an INXP (literally scored half and half on T/F axis) and when I started looking into the functions I wasn't sure if I was an INFP or INTP (I knew I had Ne and Si with a pref for Ne, I knew I used Ti or Fi more regularly than Ne but I wasn't sure if I was using Ti to assess moral values or if I had Fi that just thought more logically.) That's where I got confused, then as I looked at it, I was pretty sure I had Fe but hardly used it, and I thought the reason I had so much trouble knowing which I used more was because I have an INFJ mom who I respect a lot, (so my Fe might have developed, but I'd still rather use Ti, or possibly answered the way she would have instead of how I would have?) and an ENFP brother (who I thought developed my Fe a little more because of his Fi preference) I didn't know it was possible to develop Fi in an INTP though.

I just realized I'm derailing this thread. Sorry.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I'd say logic. I'm confused now though. I thought INTPs had Fe as their 4th function and INFJs had it as their second? I thought they didn't have Fi? I also thought the main difference was one has Ni/Se and one has Ne/Si, but they both have Ti/Fe?

For the sake of dispersing your confusion, do not mix valuing a function with having a function on the MBTI ordering. You value Fi but have inferior Fe on MBTI's ordering.

Or, I'm reading too much into this and eyesseecold really has no idea what he's talking about.

Lol, I find the idea of being devastatingly incorrect enticing.

 

[nexion]

Lol, I find the idea of being devastatingly incorrect enticing.

Odd, isn't it? Or are you being sarcastic?

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Serious. Every time I begin to believe, emotional connections are formed with information I receive. The realization that I am wrong brings doubt, which drives me to find the truth once again. I have no problem continuing on this path so long as I am convinced that I will find my truth at the end of the journey.

 

[dark]

I thinks EyeSeeCold is using socionics functions, which I have come to accept as a more correct function typing, it seems more logical and makes the Is fit better with their counterpart Es.