Any suggestions? (I know close to nothing about programming)
Edit: I mean, which language(s?) would be the most useful, and for what?
Here's how I started: HTML -> PHP -> C/C++ and nowadays I pretty much just choose the right tool for the job.
If you have absolutely no programming knowledge, I'd recommend starting with HTML. It's a markup language, so it's very simple. You can probably pick up all the basics in a few hours. From there, you can tackle JavaScript or PHP. Both are web development languages and pretty easy to grasp. With a few weeks of study, you can probably build some very basic web apps with knowledge of those three (HTML/JS/PHP).
A good thing to keep in mind is that there are many different styles of programming and types of languages. Ruby on Rails, for example, is another web development language/framework but it's very different from PHP. If you don't like one language, dont' write off programming altogether — give another language/style a try.
This is the book I learned web dev from:
http://www.amazon.com/PHP-MySQL-Web-Development-4th/dp/0672329166
Teaches you PHP and SQL (with the MySQL RDBMS). Honestly, I think it's best to learn SQL in conjunction with another language. You won't get very far learning about it in isolation (unless you already have a foundational knowledge, I guess).