fellow INTP males

[Synthetix]

Do some females find your awkwardness and shyness to be attractive?

Traditionally, most would assume that shyness and awkwardness aren't traits commonly sought out by the opposite sex, however I've noticed that certain females are drawn in and curious about such a feature... Certain, not all. A girl recently pointed out my awkward nature while in her presence, I thought this was bad, but ever since she has been hanging out with me more and getting to know me better.

 

[Somnus]

Hello!

Well, I can't say I'm exactly awkward or shy. I like to think I have some form of charisma working for me. However, I've found that there are a certain type of girl who becomes interested in me. My friend suggested this was perhaps because I don't show my attraction as much as the regular bloke which might be perceived as the "hard to get" tactic, which is entirely accidental.

I hope this relates with you somewhat!

 

[sammael]

Well, I can't say I'm exactly awkward or shy.

+1

It may be a mystery/distance thing, whether the shyness/awkwardness is there or not. We are intensely private people, I know for myself I generally actively avoid talking about me. Even my closest friends don't know big hunks about me, and that's the way I like it. People are curious; they want to know more about what they can't work out. It keeps them guessing, thinking about you. Mystery is interesting, exciting, different. It also makes one appear more detached, and that can have an attraction all of its own.

 

[Cognisant]

Do some females find your awkwardness and shyness to be attractive?

No, if anything it seems like I get looked down upon...

Well there was that one time when I was forced into a social context with this girl and I literally walked around someone else to put a barrier between us because I was so fed up and frustrated with women in general that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her, but in the end I warmed up, she was persistent.

Still I think the reason I get "looked down upon" now is because I'm trying to play the game but I'm awkward and I'm shy so I'm not good at it.

So what should I be taking from this? I'm telling myself that I just have to practice until I overcome being awkward & shy, that I shouldn't get frustrated or bitter, I should be friendly and gracious and when that doesn't work I should try harder. But being frustrated and bitter worked, I was inexcusably rude to that girl and she was all the more interested for it, whereas being nice gets me nowhere, worse than nowhere, it's debasing and apparently women notice that it is.

I understand the frustration to be had in being compared to this:

Spoiler

But I'm frustrated too, I could understand if being attractive was a matter of being healthier, but that's not the issue, I'm taller, healthier, fitter, better dressed and better groomed than most guys I know, but apparently I'm not attractive because (offline at least ) I'm not a narcissistic douche bag.

*sigh*

Of course I'm only bitching here because it doesn't matter.

 

[The Gopher]

Yeah at times it can be useful. Some girls just fall for it. Can be a problem if you aren't interested in anyone at the time.

 

[Dapper Dan]

1. I have no idea what women think about me.
2. I'm definitely awkward. But shy? No.
3. Both of those being said, women seem to look for confidence more than anything else. Confidence and awkwardness aren't mutually exclusive. Confidence and shyness kind of are.

 

[Minuend]

If one trait only is going to chase away the ladies, it must be one ugly trait. Like being a murderer. Or an obsessive whistler. It's generally shyness/ awkwardness together with something else maybe more odd behavoiur that is off putting. I've met mamy shy/ awkward people and there are as many annoying of those as there are adorable ones.

 

[Architect]

I knew how to play a role by assuming a persona. I usually attracted the awkward and shy women (INFX) because they both saw somebody outgoing, charismatic but still had depth (the real me that was underneath). It was all an act, my INFJ wife originally thought I was dating women like crazy, and it wasn't until later that she learned the real truth (bwahaha)

 

[The Gopher]

I knew how to play a role by assuming a persona. I usually attracted the awkward and shy women (INFX) because they both saw somebody outgoing, charismatic but still had depth (the real me that was underneath). It was all an act, my INFJ wife originally thought I was dating women like crazy, and it wasn't until later that she learned the real truth (bwahaha)

Someone I know has been spreading rumours that I am a womaniser and a drunk (both completely untrue *cough*)... But that's interesting :P

 

[AureliaSeverina]

Shyness and awkwardness can be dead cute! It makes for a nice contrast with INTP logic as well.

But if it's this kind of shyness, it can make things too complicated

Shy people avoid the objects of their apprehension in order to keep from feeling uncomfortable and inept; thus, the situations remain unfamiliar and the shyness perpetuates itself.

Shyness is considered to be a neutral personality trait by people who are not shy, but a very negative trait by those who are shy themselves[citation needed]. In fact, those who are shy are actually perceived more negatively because of the way they act towards others. Shy individuals are often distant during conversations, which may cause others to create poor impressions of them, simply adding to their shyness in social situations

In other words, as long as the other person can tell that you are shy, they might find it cute or just normal. But when you overcompensate by being extra-aloof or patronising, that's where things go downhill.

 

[Lot]

At first my weirdness might turn women off, but the fact that I'm not romantically pursuing them keeps them talking to me. Over time they come to love how awkward or weird I am. I've found that some women like when I act shy. It makes them think that I'm mysterious, but these relationships never last long once they get to know me (I'm boring). I've known women in the past, that totally obsess them selves with me, for like a month long period. Might be my looks, my strangeness, or some admixture of the two, but these ladies creep me out.

 

[mu is mu]

Do some females find your awkwardness and shyness to be attractive?

Traditionally, most would assume that shyness and awkwardness aren't traits commonly sought out by the opposite sex, however I've noticed that certain females are drawn in and curious about such a feature... Certain, not all. A girl recently pointed out my awkward nature while in her presence, I thought this was bad, but ever since she has been hanging out with me more and getting to know me better.

Hm... I'm not so sure all INTPs are shy and awkward. I know I'm not, although the INTP "chameleon" trait definitely applies to me to a very strong degree.

That said, I don't think that any INTP can conceal his personality from 100% of people for 100% of the time, and I agree that there are some girls out there who consider these rarer (sometimes hidden) personality traits attractive.

And I do think there are certain types of girls who seem to be drawn to shy/awkward guys. At a shyer/more awkward time in life for me, those two traits, combined with a certain female ENFP's curiosity, led me and the ENFP into a situation similar to what you described. Introverted Rationals can seem like very mysterious people to a "people person" who probably has a solid grasp on how most people tend to be.

 

[Beholder]

I've been told that my awkwardness is a huge turn on... I didn't even realize I was awkward until then.

 

[PhoenixRising]

Being an INTP female, I have a strong preference for quiet, intelligent males. I find shyness cute, it adds a type of whimsy and mystery to a person. I think sometimes with INTPs, shyness is actually introvertedness. People that keep to themselves are usually more pleasant to be around than people who force their presence. It's kind of like a cat, I like cats because they are independent and intelligent, but they're also shy and sometimes awkward.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Do some females find your awkwardness and shyness to be attractive?

Depends.

Yes, my awkwardness and introversion (not shyness exactly, but being more reserved in general) make people interested in me. That's just regular me, too. If I get to the point where I have emotion that needs expressing it'll usually come out of me like an eruption of nonsensical words and fly straight at anyone dumb enough to get in the way. Apparently, this emotion vomit is appealing and (I've been told) it's "adorable." Problem is, though, that people really aren't too keen on "adorable" or "interesting" people in that manner. People keep me around as a friend so they can watch me being interesting and adorable but they don't actually want something to do with me.

And on the reverse side there's people that just think I'm fucking weird.

 

[Mello]

No, but it's probably because I'm ugly.

 

[Absurdity]

Some do, although the attraction is rarely reciprocated. Most of them are moronic SJs that I can dance circles around intellectually and make fun of them without them even realizing. This just makes them more into me, so I eventually have to ignore them completely until they get over.

Once it was a gorgeous ENTP though, but I fucked it up by not realizing she was into me until she moved on. In hindsight it was probably for the best, I suspect her of being a sociopath.

 

[reddie]

There more to it than shyness and awkwardness. There is the fact that girls even if you were attractive would never approach you and you as an INTP will never approach them.

 

[Beholder]

Once it was a gorgeous ENTP though, but I fucked it up by not realizing she was into me until she moved on. In hindsight it was probably for the best, I suspect her of being a sociopath.

ENTP = Sociopath. By definition. That's what I love about them.
If an ENTP is not a sociopath, that means s/he is just a really good sociopath.

 

[intpz]

To some level, I do like shyness. Probably because it's the contrary to the outgoing loud types, which I dislike.

 

[Irukanji]

(@OP) Nope, I hide my shyness away behind the false confidence and the constantly avoiding everybody tactic I use. It might make people think I am a douchebag, but it's better(in my mind) than being too shy and having them take advantage of me(in a school sense, not in a woman dominance way). Plus I have a quick tongue and I'll argue anything, even if I'm wrong.

It makes for interesting days I've found that older women prefer it, so it lets me get along well with them.

 

[Proletar]

In school, many girls (I think) were actually into me. I just didn't see it. It was well into my first relationship that I actually was able to notice attraction in girls... And then I suddenly had to say no.

I THINK women needs not just hunky pieces of flesh, but are actually equal, or very much like, men. I'm attracted to intelligence and notice it in people, so maybe women are/do, too.


Also, I'm not very awkward. Just quiet and observing by default, and genuinely happy when I laugh (unlike many other people). Of course people would find that attractive.

 

[intpz]

You damn sexist!

 

[Solitaire U.]

Hmmm, I'm not awkward and shy (does this mean I'm not an INTP...oh horrors!). But I definitely find awkward, shy females attractive, even the ugly ones.

 

[intpz]

Hmmm, I'm not awkward and shy (does this mean I'm not an INTP...oh horrors!). But I definitely find awkward, shy females attractive, even the ugly ones.

I wouldn't have sex with a 200-pound woman.

 

[Solitaire U.]

I love big women! More cushin' for the pushin'.

 

[intpz]

You meant crushing? Imagine a 200-pound jumping on you, especially if you aren't a fatso.

 

[Absurdity]

ENTP = Sociopath. By definition. That's what I love about them.
If an ENTP is not a sociopath, that means s/he is just a really good sociopath.

I loved it too, for a while. Lost its charm when she was unable to follow through on the simplest plans because of her raging Ne.

 

[Particle]

Speaking of weight, it's kind of funny. The average female weight in the US today is about 170 pounds. Statistically speaking, I'm likely to meet women who are a bit bigger than I am. heh

---

You guys must have the good fortune of living in areas with aggressive dating pools. I've never known women to initiate contact, but it could just be me I suppose. It doesn't help that I live in a small town where there are basically no people 20-35 years old. Everyone just leaves after high school.

 

[intpz]

Speaking of weight, it's kind of funny. The average female weight in the US today is about 170 pounds. Statistically speaking, I'm likely to meet women who are a bit bigger than I am. heh

---

You guys must have the good fortune of living in areas with aggressive dating pools. I've never known women to initiate contact, but it could just be me I suppose. It doesn't help that I live in a small town where there are basically no people 20-35 years old. Everyone just leaves after high school.

Then move.

A bit bigger, eh?

Spoiler

 

[SpaceYeti]

Do some females find your awkwardness and shyness to be attractive?

Traditionally, most would assume that shyness and awkwardness aren't traits commonly sought out by the opposite sex, however I've noticed that certain females are drawn in and curious about such a feature... Certain, not all. A girl recently pointed out my awkward nature while in her presence, I thought this was bad, but ever since she has been hanging out with me more and getting to know me better.

I grew out of my awkward shyness years ago. Now women are attracted to my cocksuredness and intellect. Also, I'm pretty.

 

[intpz]

No offense, but if that's you in the picture, I don't think you're pretty. Although I'm not a woman and not gay.

 

[SpaceYeti]

It's a blurry picture of me opening my mouth as wide as I can for a cuppycake. It's not exactly flattering. However, I take no offense, and feel no urge to argue what you think. I'd have to dig up pictures, or take a new one, and I simply don't want to spend that much energy proving how hot I am.

 

[addictedartist]

I was always absorbed in my hobbies and girls would begin to hover around my work, and would look at me glossy eyed when I would make snarky responses about politics or religion.
women love hearing rumours about what I have been up to, to which I am the sole discreditor. I make girls shy and awkward, I knew one ENTP woman who would constantly ask me why I did things and why I didnt do certain things;her bossiness attracted me and my stubbornness attracted her.
womens need for competition and challenge has turned me into an emotional bucking bronco, I dont wanna be gelded or spurred into any direction by mere fancy or whim, however my need for competition and challenge solemnly paces me in the direction of an ideal of free reign and mutual benefaction without contention of the premise but rather a paradigm of reinforcement

 

[addictedartist]

,and I simply don't want to spend that much energy proving how hot I am.

INTP sexuality in a nutshell.

 

[Melkor]

Hrm.

In my experience the kind of girls who think my 'shyness' is cute are the kind that want to:

A- Friend zone you
Or
B-Eat you.

-____-

Sucks to be me.

 

[Minuend]

I'd love to rape you, melly ^__^

 

[intpz]

Woah, woah, woah, when I said I like shyness, I didn't mean deliberate shyness, that's pretentiousness. That's a fucked up thing, fuck the pretentious bitches.

 

[DeadonDreaming]

No offense, but if that's you in the picture, I don't think you're pretty. Although I'm not a woman and not gay.

@SpaceYeti

I think yer purty


I thought intpz was a girl

 

[SpaceYeti]

I don't blame you.

 

[intpz]

I thought intpz was a girl

Didn't you already say it in another topic?