Empathy

[Sparrow]

When you see people suffering, people in pain, do you guys feel anything?

The other day I was browsing some photos and I came across this photo:

The little kid there lost his eye to a sniper. I don't know, I can be a cold bastard sometimes but when it involves children, it just breaks my heart. The expressions on the peoples' faces. I see them on people everyday but I shrug it off,blah, I'm ranting about nothing, just, thoughts? Opinions? Any similar experiences?

 

[Words]

Children. that's one of my emotional weak points too. "lost his eye to a sniper". Its not really the rifle that did this...

----
if a bullet pierces your eye..wouldn't you die?

 

[Agent Intellect]

Disturbingly enough, I probably feel more empathy towards fictional characters than I do real life people - I have a greater sense of connection to them.

 

[bananaphallus]

Terrorism probably wouldn't be quite so terrifying/depressing if we were all incapable of empathy. We might want to consider making empathy illegal, at least for the time being...anti-empathy propaganda, e.g., 'your empathy is only encouraging our enemies, please cease and desist' or 'your humanity and capacity for 'feeling things' is what's losing the war abroad, cut it out', etc.

 

[Cognisant]

Terrorism probably wouldn't be quite so terrifying/depressing if we were all incapable of empathy. We might want to consider making empathy illegal, at least for the time being...anti-empathy propaganda, e.g., 'your empathy is only encouraging our enemies, please cease and desist' or 'your humanity and capacity for 'feeling things' is what's losing the war abroad, cut it out', etc.

Great idea.

I've considered wearing a blood red T-shirt with "TERRORIST" written across it in bold black letters then walking around in public until I get arrested, just to make a point.
Heck I should sell them, my personal war against terrorism.

 

[flow]

Animals for me. If a person abuses an animal, or jokes about it, I wish to kill that person. Children also, though. I've just always been particularly sensitive to animal abuse.

 

[TheHmmmm]

Animals for me. If a person abuses an animal, or jokes about it, I wish to kill that person. Children also, though. I've just always been particularly sensitive to animal abuse.

Same, except the children part. I can also empathize with people who are put into embarrassing situations. That's about it.

 

[FrostFern]

I don't really experience sadness on behalf of victims. What I feel is anger. When I witness injustice / cruelty I only see red. It's not exactly a productive state of mind... unless I could somehow become a vigilante assisin.

 

[Waugh]

@Flow

Animals, a weak point since I was a child. I have gotten so aggressive because of people looking at animal abuse as an amusing matter. I have not wished them death, but torture. It's... only good and proper. It's needless to say that they lose plenty gold stars (in my mind). After animals, it's children. I don't know where fellow adults would be on my 'I care for' list.

 

[Words]

Its hard to care for something I eat every day.

 

[Waugh]

Its hard to care for something I eat every day.

I'm a vegetarian, for completely irrational reasons I won't go into. But when I was a kid (and ate meat) I came really close to crying when I saw an injured cat or something. Especially if a human harmed it. I was a bit desensitized to my diet. I understood the connection between roaming animal and animal on plate, but it did taste pretty nice.

 

[Words]

Does your empathy say humans are also animals? or you've already created a borderline?

 

[echoplex]

I've noticed that I feel alot more empathy when I don't feel like I'm being forced to do so. Sometimes it seems that empathy is being forced on you, like those commercials with the wounded animals. The sense of manipulation usually kills any empathy I'd otherwise be feeling. That's why I rarely feel sad or cry at funerals, because the entire situation suggests that I'm supposed to feel sad, and it seems that I can only feel anything when it's fully an expression of my own will.

 

[shoeless]

i empathize easily with anyone i have any sort of connection to, regardless of age or... er... species.

i mean, that's the only time i'll ever cry for someone or whatever. especially if it involves somebody being neglected/ignored/suffering in silence/etc.

don't get me wrong, i feel bad for like, the people in haiti and everything... but it's not keeping me up at night. whereas if i have a close friend who's in some deep personal shit, that very well might keep me up at night. working on a solution. trying to figure out what to tell them. or something.

 

[Darby]

People close to me, thats it, and it's not that I don't care, I just don't feel the overwhelming urge to do anything about it, and the tears aren't for anybody. Unless maybe it was my fault, then I probably would.

 

[Waugh]

Does your empathy say humans are also animals? or you've already created a borderline?

Apologies on my part for the implied distinction.
You know what I meant.

 

[Jah]

Empathy list;
Animals.
Children,
Whatever.

No tolerance for people who mistreat animals, and I feel almost as bad about mistreatment of children, after that, it's happy hunting.
Grown-ups would have to prove themselves in order to win my sympathies and empathy.
or somehow validate themselves by being Family.

I could more easily kill a human being than an animal, in that sense, people are about as much worth as trees, in my world.

Though I somehow retain this idea of sanctity of life, and find it terribly easy to consider the whole world as some sort of holistic Gaia, or planetary intelligence, of which we are all neurons and momentary storage-containers for bio-electricity and information.
Which would then, in my opinion, equal all life-forms.

Back to empathy, the subject.
I believe I have loads, but it hardly applies to people, even less to people not directly associated to me, as either friends, or family.
People who torture animals or children should be shot, and I'd have no problem being the executor, though it would be cruel and unusual, since I would be unsure whether I remembered to load the gun, and would deliberate this out loud.

 

[shoeless]

...i'll never understand why people hold animals to a higher regard than people. makes no sense to me at all.

is it the perceived "innocence"? humans have the capacity for "evil", but animals (and to an extent, children) don't?

i dunno. makes me wonder.

 

[Words]

Me too. Specially since I literally can't understand or relate to other animals.
---
Who knows? Maybe pain is a fun experience to them.

 

[Dormouse]

Who knows? Maybe pain is a fun experience to them.

By definition, pain is not a fun experience. It is something that causes discomfort at an extreme level.

And animals aren't that different. In any case, we've both evolved to be very averse to anything that might threaten our survival. Pain is a warning. Animals react to it the same way we do. The experience is practically identical.

I am empathetic towards animals, children, and the very old.

 

[bluesquid]

Moments of intensity get me.

I feel it about everything, but in an intellectual way. It educates me.

On an emotional level? Injustice. I will fight against injustice Im aware of until the day I die.

 

[Words]

By definition, pain is not a fun experience. It is something that causes discomfort at an extreme level.

And animals aren't that different. In any case, we've both evolved to be very averse to anything that might threaten our survival. Pain is a warning. Animals react to it the same way we do. The experience is practically identical.

I am empathetic towards animals, children, and the very old.

How can you prove this w/o being one? Through science and patterns? I say there must be more than that.

 

[bluesquid]

I made a bumper sticker

"Thanks for WW 2, Die Already" it wasnt well received. I have no compassion for old people.

But my point wasnt that I hate old people. i dont think veterans get enough credit.

 

[Jah]

The less capable a creature is of doing harm to what I consider valuable, the more willing am I to defend it's rights.

Ultimately, the most dangerous creature on this planet, for the health of the planetary system I'm currently inhabiting, the health (mental and physical) of people around me, and of any and all life forces in general, seems to be the human being.

Animals somehow seem more justifiable, than the human beings, with their concepts of moral superiority, and thus inhibited guilt about taking the lives of other living beings.

And still, Even though I am able to recognize the same behavior, ultimately, in animals and other people, the people seem to have a choice in the matter.


In the end, All animals are equal, in my opinion, and human beings are just another animal.

It all comes down to the arrogance most people demonstrate, in regards to the other species.
The over-consumption tendencies, that seem to threaten the quality of others' lives.
Most of you can probably relate.

 

[Schneizel]

I experience "empathy" as a vague, insincere idea of "oh, what a shame". I feel the same way about the OP's picture as I would someone remarking the weather is bad where he is. If I don't know someone, I have no interest in his/her problems as anything but an intellectual exercise.

 

[Döden]

Old people. I can't stand it when people make rude comments about sweet old people or take advantage of them. They seem so helpless and it makes me feel like the nicer world that they (probably didn't) used to know has disappeared.

But that's only if I have seen the old person in question. The visual element really does something.

I don't think that counts as empathy though. I empathize with friends who are going through certain issues.

 

[Bennett]

Rarely do I feel empathy to an "anonymous" person such as in OP, but there are exceptions (especially if they are in a position I can relate to/see myself in). Obviously this would make me seem pretty cold to a lot of people, since I will often react to tragic news as if it was the weather report.

However if it's someone I have developed some sort of emotional connection to, whether a fictional character in a book/movie or a friend/family member then I can often feel quite intense empathy, and at times fairly extreme anger (good example of this that comes to mind was when watching Gran Torino, after the girl was raped).

 

[Ungomma]

Old people. I can't stand it when people make rude comments about sweet old people or take advantage of them. They seem so helpless and it makes me feel like the nicer world that they (probably didn't) used to know has disappeared.

But that's only if I have seen the old person in question. The visual element really does something.

I echo this. I am very empathetic to old people in general, but there was this horrible thing once - on a WW2 Victory Day terrorists blew up a parade of veterans in a Russian city. I usually remain untouched by terrorist attacks, but this one got me.

Veterans do better than the rest of pensioners here in Russia, but most of them still live below the poverty line since after the fall of USSR. Imagine - you fought for your nation, maybe even were a hero, single-handedly killed a dozen of nazis, and when your old days come, your country blows up and the new government doesn't really give a shit that your lifetime savings are worth nothing due to inflation and that your pension is $100/month and poverty line is around $400.

The only day of year when society and government at least try to show you some respect is the Victory Day. You dress in your 50-year old treasured uniform, buy a good drink with some savings you managed to make throughout the year, and go to meet your surviving wartime buddies, all of them frail and elderly, but genuinely happy on this one day.

And you get blown up.


There was children orchestra on the parade and TV showed the video of a female veteran in her eighties crying, saying "But there were children, why the children??!". I couldn't stand that. I just couldn't quell my rage.

 

[Chimera]

Not sure I empathize very much anymore. I can understand the way people feel, and for what possible
reasons. I can delve into their possible future and see how their suffering will affect them in the long run.
But it doesn't take up my thoughts for very long. Yeah, it sucks that they have to go through this. But
unfortunately, that is the world we live in. There are tragedies every freaking day. ​

Haiti victims: two hundred thousand dead. Countless people affected through lack of food, water,
terrible conditions, suffering the death(s) of (a) loved one(s). Riots breaking out. Fear, desperation,
despair. The memory will be branded into their minds until they die as well. Some will develop
psychological problems because of the trauma.
Sorry guys. Shit sucks. ​

I only act on my empathy when those close to me are involved, or if I'm the only person around
able/willing to help (someone is laying crumpled in pain in a busy mall, no one stops to help, and I'm
expected to just walk by? Fuck that). And I'll always go out of my way to help animals.
A year ago, I had trouble eating well because every time I sat down for a meal, I would feel
intolerably guilty for having food when so many others were starving.
You can't empathize with everyone. You'll go mad.

edit: That's not to say that I'll just stand by if someone is suffering right in front of me. If it's
something I can help with, of course I will.​

 

[Audentia]

I find it hard to empathize with things that happen a million miles away as well, it's tragic and disturbing and makes me hate the meanness people are capable of. Mostly it is the injustice which can make me pretty angry, but I feel detached about it other than that.

People I know are going out of their way to do fundraisers for Haiti, and I don't participate or donate... I never do when there is some major tragedy far away. 1) I don't have expendable income and 2) I'd be more likely to give it to someone close to me who is also in need... leave the donating to the rich folks (well, rich compared to me, lol).

I think generally, I do have empathy, but more as a learned behavior, especially with people close to me. You say you're sorry, you try to relate, try to think of saying things that might help even if they don't, I often say expected things because that is how I was raised, it is automatic and is suppose to make the other feel better. And if I don't, then I feel like a jerk. Often times I'd just prefer to just give them a hug, tell them I love them, and let them be, because I don't really know what to do/say, but I should say/do something.

Sometimes, my lack of empathy makes me feel like I'm not nice enough, but like Chimera said, you cannot empathize with everything or you'd go mad and die from lack of care for yourself.

It is no different in the animal kingdom, humans may have more empathy for animals due to their helplessness or human's injustices done to them and I totally understand that, but at the same time, the animal kingdom is filled with as much unfair, mean crap as ours is.. weaker animals are prey and stronger animals do as they please.

I do have empathy for children and old people. Old people mostly because they are completely dependent and their bodies are falling apart and failing them, meanwhile their children have to become their caretakers and you lose your freedoms. That would be horrid.

 

[ashitaria]

I do. But sometimes I don't. It really all depends on my mood.

 

[Döden]

I echo this. I am very empathetic to old people in general, but there was this horrible thing once - on a WW2 Victory Day terrorists blew up a parade of veterans in a Russian city. I usually remain untouched by terrorist attacks, but this one got me.

Veterans do better than the rest of pensioners here in Russia, but most of them still live below the poverty line since after the fall of USSR. Imagine - you fought for your nation, maybe even were a hero, single-handedly killed a dozen of nazis, and when your old days come, your country blows up and the new government doesn't really give a shit that your lifetime savings are worth nothing due to inflation and that your pension is $100/month and poverty line is around $400.

The only day of year when society and government at least try to show you some respect is the Victory Day. You dress in your 50-year old treasured uniform, buy a good drink with some savings you managed to make throughout the year, and go to meet your surviving wartime buddies, all of them frail and elderly, but genuinely happy
on this one day.

And you get blown up

There was children orchestra on the parade and TV showed the video of a female veteran in her eighties crying, saying "But there were children, why the children??!". I couldn't stand that. I just couldn't quell my rage.

Bah, reading that was terrible. Really affecting and tragic. I agree with Chimera in that reading the Haiti accounts doesn't do much for me. Meanwhile, my mom is next to me on the couch, her eyes wet, shaking her head and gasping. Makes me feel like a bad person.

I've read that chimps can also empathize and that empathy was important to human survival. Is empathy still absolutely necessary? Micro or macro scale? (Just Ne-ing around here).

 

[Polaris]

I think we are so bombarded with gruesome things that our minds go into shut-down mode. If we were to react and empathise with all this, we wouldn't cope very well. I do not know if desensitising is a protective mechanism or just plain jadedness. It could be both, or one leading to another. I guess the media are important for conveying what is going on around the world, and we should be grateful we do not have to be subject to torture, bombings and other things we could not fathom the emotional/physical extent of, unless we experienced it directly. But I also think the media are emphasising the negatives, as it makes better headlines. We want disaster, but also do not really know how to deal with them. We are exposed to it, and at the same time feel guilty and helpless.

I have experienced increased sensitivity to other people's suffering in the last few years, I don't know why that is. I guess it could be a focus shifting away from myself, as I am getting surer of myself, if that makes sense. It can be absolutely random things. The disaster in Haiti is just too enormous to fathom, though. It is too much for our psyche to deal with, so we go into shut-down mode in order to protect ourselves from going insane. If we were there, it would be a different story.

Then I could be listening to a piece of classical music, and it is as if the whole world suddenly comes crumbling down around me. All those impressions and suppressed emotions are suddenly "spoken to". I'm still trying to figure.....