Emotionally Sensitive INTPs?

[GENIUSandVIOLENCE]

Most profiles and many posts from INTPs seem to suggest that INTPs are either somewhat emotionless or unable to express emotion. Are there any INTPs who are emotive and sensitive, and can't help but express emotions that they feel?

I believe that we can be Thinking but still be very emotional. Being dominant in Thinking doesn't mean we don't feel anything (in any case, if I'm not mistaken, Feeling doesn't refer to emotions, but just to what we use to make decisions).

At some point, I think it was on PersonalityJunkie, I read that our Fe is our inferior function, meaning that it's not well-controlled, which means we tend to have an all-or-nothing kind of reaction when it comes to emotions. Is it very un-INTPish to lean towards the "all" reaction than the "nothing" reaction? To feel strong emotions, and to express them?

To me, part of what makes me an INTP is that I prefer rationality, logic and facts when it comes to decision making, problem solving and basically everything else in my life. It's not that I don't consider morals, emotions and such, but logic always wins in my head. It doesn't stop me from being an emotional person though.

Any thoughts?

 

[pjoa09]

INFP ALERT!

If you are stirred by emotions, make decisions on the basis of emotions, you don't shun out emotions, or you enjoy the manipulation of emotions then I'd consider that as a feeler.

Otherwise, not really.

I secretly have a blog where I post what I feel in the most bizarre mannerisms. It's a necessity for me to put them somewhere.

When I feel it creep I punch some wall to let the anger diffuse.

I experience all or nothing very often. It's like a big turbocharger. Intense lag. For instance, I am chilling and someone comes up with a small argument and I decide I am going to argue back a bit but before I know it I find myself in sociopath territory, I start verbally abusing them. It's a once in 6 months or so thing.

In short, the expression of emotion does not judge your personality type. The comfort and preference of expressing and sharing emotions does.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

everyone is motivated by feelings first

"thinkers" just have an extra layer or filter that translates feelings into language that appears to be rational; "feelers" don't have this layer and what you see is the raw emotion.

everyone is emotional and every single human behavior is emotionally motivated;

"Logic" is so subjective that the word loses all meaning for me;

My ex-girlfriend's logic, for example? Ex-girlfriend logic is an oxymoron (but not from her perspective, of course).

Every one's logic makes sense to them; however, depending on what religion or framework of life one follows, just about anything and everything can be proven logical or illogical.

Living seems illogical since we're all going to be dead anyways. What's the point of doing anything?

My current view is that we are all emotional creatures-- and that some people (INTPs for example) are better than others at hiding their emotions. Playing poker has motivated this line of thought. When I play poker (live), I see the emotional reactions from people. People love to win money and hate to lose money.

Just because I'm an INTP doesn't mean I don't experience the same displeasure as an ESFP when I lose my whole stack. The difference is that I've quickly processed that emotion and realized that it does not benefit me at all to express this feeling outwardly.

Does this necessarily mean that ExFx's are easier to read on the poker table? probably so.

However, the INTP's strength in having a constant stone-cold poker face is juxtaposed by his/her weakness in reading the emotions of others, or empathy.

I don't think INTPs are "unable" to express emotion. My own life experience suggests that displaying emotions externally does little to no good in most situations. Thus, over time, sort of like a Pavlovian learned response, I just kept all my feelings inside my own head.

I also have this theory that INTPs begin life as the most emotionally sensitive types; early emotional injuries, like getting made fun of on the playground, alert that it's not safe to express emotions.

blah blah blah

 

[nanook]

lets remember for a second that F doesn't mean emotion, it means a cognitive conditioned intelligence of ethical reasoning that is originally inspired by emotions, like plants are inspired by rain and sunlight, but it's also independent from actual immediate emotion, infact it evokes it's own emotionality, like a plant can sort of save light energy insight of it. both what actually happens emotionally and what emotions are taken into account by this line of intelligence is effected by how this intelligences is conditioned in one individual. and so this line is also responsible for all ignorance about actual emotions, all suppression of particular emotions (emotions can be suppressed for ethical reasons) and if thinking 'rationalizes' emotionality away (meaning emotions are suppressed for strategical reasons, or sensorical reasons like a sensorial desire to feel calm physically), then the ethical line must be involved in this conspiracy of another function (T or S), like an obedient slave, implying that strategical reasoning (T) and ethical reasoning (F) and other functions are all tightly related, somewhat like two sides of a gooey wobbly coin.


anyhow, i know Ti dominant individuals who value emotions enough, to mistake themselves for feeling types in a value based dichotomy test! they don't have the acute and deeply differentiated awareness of emotional states that experienced Fi dominant individuals have, but due to their value-system they will gladly express through well chosen words whatever degree of differentiation of emotion they are aware of and due to their sensitive persona they have no reason to push away actual tears, like in cinema. the reason for such sensitive values in thinking types is a strong gravity in postmodern pluralistic values. we are talking hipsters and such. the kloons. Ti dominant types don't have to be stuck in modern/rational values!


not to speak of Ni dominant types, for them T and F are much more interchangeable,
i mean the actual auxiliary functions, the immediate awareness and energy-flow,
not only their valuing and owning of those territories and respective verbal expression. the interchanging of auxiliary T and F isn't voluntary though, it's situative, depends very much on one's company.

 

[walfin]

I find that I have purer emotions than some F-types. MBTI sites call it "childlike".

F types seem to think emotions are something to be analysed/understood, or indeed changed at times. I used to think that would be a T trait, but no.

To me emotions are something to be expressed, don't necessarily have to influence action, and don't need to be controlled/avoided/detached. Perhaps it's because for F types, feelings actually influence their actions to a larger degree.

 

[ℜεмїηїs¢εη¢ε]

Are there any INTPs who are emotive and sensitive, and can't help but express emotions that they feel?

No, everyone (?) has emotions to some extent but INTPs aren't supposed to be sensitive and want to express their emotions to others. I have noticed a correlation between my Ti and Fe functions, as my Ti grows my Fe shrinks at about the same rate. The more I analyze the more meaningless my emotions become; whether or not this is good I am not sure.

 

[nanook]

sensitivity is a very broad term ...

 

[Solitaire U.]

To me emotions are something to be expressed, don't necessarily have to influence action, and don't need to be controlled/avoided/detached. Perhaps it's because for F types, feelings actually influence their actions to a larger degree.

I like this ^ . I think that, for me anyway, it's not the expression of emotions that is difficult...it's the emotional detachment issue. I wouldn't say I'm emotionally detached, but that's what I most often outwardly project. I don't know... maybe it's a form of self-protection.

Sometimes it pisses-off my 'wife' though. She says "Grow up and grow a set of feelers, damnit!".

I'm trying, I'm trying...

 

[lungs]

lets remember for a second that F doesn't mean emotion, it means a cognitive conditioned intelligence of ethical reasoning that is originally inspired by emotions, like plants are inspired by rain and sunlight, but it's also independent from actual immediate emotion, infact it evokes it's own emotionality, like a plant can sort of save light energy insight of it. both what actually happens emotionally and what emotions are taken into account by this line of intelligence is effected by how this intelligences is conditioned in one individual. and so this line is also responsible for all ignorance about actual emotions, all suppression of particular emotions (emotions can be suppressed for ethical reasons) and if thinking 'rationalizes' emotionality away (meaning emotions are suppressed for strategical reasons, or sensorical reasons like a sensorial desire to feel calm physically), then the ethical line must be involved in this conspiracy of another function (T or S), like an obedient slave, implying that strategical reasoning (T) and ethical reasoning (F) and other functions are all tightly related, somewhat like two sides of a gooey wobbly coin.


anyhow, i know Ti dominant individuals who value emotions enough, to mistake themselves for feeling types in a value based dichotomy test! they don't have the acute and deeply differentiated awareness of emotional states that experienced Fi dominant individuals have, but due to their value-system they will gladly express through well chosen words whatever degree of differentiation of emotion they are aware of and due to their sensitive persona they have no reason to push away actual tears, like in cinema. the reason for such sensitive values in thinking types is a strong gravity in postmodern pluralistic values. we are talking hipsters and such. the kloons. Ti dominant types don't have to be stuck in modern/rational values!


not to speak of Ni dominant types, for them T and F are much more interchangeable,
i mean the actual auxiliary functions, the immediate awareness and energy-flow,
not only their valuing and owning of those territories and respective verbal expression. the interchanging of auxiliary T and F isn't voluntary though, it's situative, depends very much on one's company.

underappreciated

 

[ℜεмїηїs¢εη¢ε]

lets remember for a second that F doesn't mean emotion, it means a cognitive conditioned intelligence of ethical reasoning that is originally inspired by emotions

This would be unlike T types that are inspired by their emotions to do logical reasoning vs ethical reasoning? Like NinjaSurfer said, the word logic so so subjective it starts to lose it's meaning because different types have their own idea of what is logical and what is not. There's definitely something to be said about emotions being the initial driving force for all of our actions, they are not something to be removed entirely unless we seek death. It seems to me that F types value emotions more than T types although both need some level of emotion in order to function.

 

[Duxwing]

Environment, upbringing, and noise are important factors to include when attempting to determine one's dominant function. For example:

1.) Environment: If you wake me up at 3AM via air-horn and Night-Sun, I will, likely without thinking, jump off my bed, scream, and sprint away as far as I can. Logical? No, but in most cases, neither is waking me up like that.

2.) I was brought up in a religious household by two F types, which infused within me powerful feelings attached to words like God, Church, Jesus, and the like. However, I've been able to ignore them for very long by grounding myself in logic; however, my own reductionism has dissolved just that. Now, faced with the Absurd, my Fe is searching for a new muse and meaning for my life. Therefore, my Fi and Fe will be much, much stronger than usual.

3.) Noise. If I were about to ask a girl out, then my emotionally-charged state of mind would likely skew my MBTI test results. Therefore, one should take multiple, detailed (i.e., those that produce percent rather than letter results) MBTI tests over a period of weeks or months and control for external forces such as personal or existential crises before being very sure of their type.

In the end, the rules of science, and especially those of psychology, should be observed before attempting to perform the difficult feat of typing oneself.

Regarding myself personally, however, I must agree with Ninja Surfer. All logic requires axioms if it is to function, and all axioms are by nature arbitrary and therefore subject not to ethos but pathos; in other words, all grand, soaring towers of thought stand upon pillars of pure emotion. Without them, the structures couldn't be built; with them, these skyscrapers of logic are just as arbitrary as the emotional columns beneath.

-Duxwing

 

[pernoctator]

due to their value-system they will gladly express through well chosen words whatever degree of differentiation of emotion they are aware of

This is it. To me emotional outbursts are almost calculated choices. I don't mean they are completely under my control or that they're insincere or manipulative, just that their expression is "reserved" for when they would be most effective, at which point they're deployed at full strength and then instantly completely retracted again as soon as the task of using them is considered finished. And yes my value system is typically the context for it.

To the question, then, I think that yes you could be more emotionally expressive than not as an INTP, depending on the situations you're in, but it would probably be because you have decided you have a reason to be.

 

[Polaris]

sensitivity is a very broad term ...

Interesting link, particularly the Positive Disintegration theory. Thanks nanook.

 

[DreamMancer]

I think I'm very sensitive, emotionally; it's more like those around me generally have no clue that this is the case. I'm emotionally sensitive without being emotionally expressive , at least not in such a way that most people notice.

 

[Sensi Star]

I'm pretty much a textbook INTP, but I feel the "emotionless" description of us is inaccurate. It's not that we are much less emotionally reactive than other people, it's just that we don't SHOW our emotions like other people do.

For example, if I think of something sad when in public, all of the internal processes associated play out fully, but when my facial muscles start forming into the expression of sadness, they are automatically repressed/restrained without my conscious effort.

This sometimes happens even when alone. Just recently I was watching for the first time the movie "Green Mile" that evokes many sympathetic/sad reactions internally (aided by the superb acting).

This is it. To me emotional outbursts are almost calculated choices. I don't mean they are completely under my control or that they're insincere or manipulative, just that their expression is "reserved" for when they would be most effective, at which point they're deployed at full strength and then instantly completely retracted again as soon as the task of using them is considered finished.

The above quote I feel is quite accurate for me. With the Green Mile, I kind of saw these emotionally-charged scenes as an opportunity to vent and "let go", because recent turmoil and struggle in my life (unrelated to the movie) had "built up inside" and were burdening me and I thought it would be in the best interest of my mental health to "let it out". So anyway I reacted fully to these scenes, and became teary-eyed and everything, but even then when I was trying for it, a full-blown crying session a bit difficult to make happen.

So even when I'm alone and there is no chance of embarrassment, emotions come easily but emotional expressions do not. In terms of making decisions however, I consider my emotional motives but my logic and rationality always have the final say.

 

[Jennywocky]

Most profiles and many posts from INTPs seem to suggest that INTPs are either somewhat emotionless or unable to express emotion. Are there any INTPs who are emotive and sensitive, and can't help but express emotions that they feel?

I'm not emotive (the only emotiveness I have is something I have worked hard to achieve, consciously, in order to connect better with others), but I'm very sensitive and empathetic. I've learned all the typical cues and contexts and use my N a lot to predict / anticipate how people might feel and why. And inside I feel a great deal.

But I have a barrier up that presents anything from spontaneously getting out, except for maybe laughter (because that's a fun, safe emotion).

(in any case, if I'm not mistaken, Feeling doesn't refer to emotions, but just to what we use to make decisions).

Quite right. it's a value judgment, not necessarily 'emotions'. But inherent values often manifest through strong emotions/reactions to behaviors and situations, which is why people tend to see them as equated; Thinkers tend to neutralize their emotions when they want to work through their rational values, to get rid of "subjective noise." hence the confusion of emotions.

At some point, I think it was on PersonalityJunkie, I read that our Fe is our inferior function, meaning that it's not well-controlled, which means we tend to have an all-or-nothing kind of reaction when it comes to emotions. Is it very un-INTPish to lean towards the "all" reaction than the "nothing" reaction? To feel strong emotions, and to express them?

Typically, young INTPs ignore/control their emotions, to retain their feelings of stability and clarity, until they are overwhelmed by a particular event and/or long-term situation that they suddenly can't contain, and so it explodes out of them. hence, the fabled "Fe Burst." And right afterwards, the INTP acts like nothing happened (although often disappearing out of embarrassment).

To me, part of what makes me an INTP is that I prefer rationality, logic and facts when it comes to decision making, problem solving and basically everything else in my life. It's not that I don't consider morals, emotions and such, but logic always wins in my head. It doesn't stop me from being an emotional person though. Any thoughts?

My thoughts are simply that INTPs typically screen their emotions, because they don't want any "loose cannon" things escape from them and ruin equilibrium/rationality. This is very different from EFP, for example, which thrives on responding emotionally and personally to external stimuli and interacting with it -- so they tend to be VERY emotive to the point of dramatics/histrionics.

But I don't think being an INTP means you have to be a robot. You can still engage people and show how you're feeling, especially once you get more practice and develop some finesse.

I think I'm very sensitive, emotionally; it's more like those around me generally have no clue that this is the case. I'm emotionally sensitive without being emotionally expressive , at least not in such a way that most people notice.

yes, succinct way to say it -- that's how I am too. In fact, people have MISUNDERSTOOD me before and think I'm clueless and/or don't care at all, when inside I very much was aware of things and cared deeply but made a conscious decision to not express it the way they'd hoped (for whatever reason).

I guess I will go on to say that sometimes now I use emotion to serve my rationality. I can take a happy stance or an angry/combative stance, or choose to say something with a particular inflection because I know it's what the person needs to hear to understand what they need to understand or achieve what they need to achieve.

(I've sometimes let myself sound like a snippy bitch on forums, for example, if I think someone is being too passive and I want to draw them out and clarify what they REALLY think. I'm not actually even mad, but I take that approach to get a certain result. Or perhaps I'm not feeling much at all, but I sense someone is hurting, and so I take a compassionate tone with my voice because ultimately I care about them and want them to feel happy and cared about, even if emotionally I might not be feeling that much at the time.)

 

[TriflinThomas]

you enjoy the manipulation of emotions then I'd consider that as a feeler.

Is that a hallmark trait of Feeling types? I find that some people don't "get it" until they know how it feels. If used correctly, I think emotional suggestion can be a good thing.

 

[DreamMancer]

yes, succinct way to say it -- that's how I am too. In fact, people have MISUNDERSTOOD me before and think I'm clueless and/or don't care at all, when inside I very much was aware of things and cared deeply but made a conscious decision to not express it the way they'd hoped (for whatever reason).

Wow, this sounds like me. People are always saying things like, "I thought you'd be excited or happy about x!" when usually I am very much excited and happy about x, I just don't express it by jumping up and down and shouting. For me it's sometimes not even a conscious decision, necessarily; my emotional reactions are just more subdued. But that doesn't mean they're not there!

On the other hand, sometimes I simply don't have an emotional reaction to situations that other people do - I just don't see the point in getting worked up over certain things.

I guess I will go on to say that sometimes now I use emotion to serve my rationality. I can take a happy stance or an angry/combative stance, or choose to say something with a particular inflection because I know it's what the person needs to hear to understand what they need to understand or achieve what they need to achieve.

I am trying to do this as well, but it requires a conscious effort on my part.

 

[Intp0213]

I would not say on a general basis INTP's are emotionally sensitive, mainly because many fail to pick up on them. Kind of like a schizophrenic, our dominate thinking comes first and we analyse. As opposed to letting the feeling take effect we immediately begin concentrating on some thought and essentially ignore that feeling. I do know that INTP's under stress can become emotional though. I experienced that once, not necessarily very emotional but I was not myself.

 

[C.J_Finn]

I have pretty strong feelings, but I generally just end up trying to shut them out for as long as I can so I can prevent myself from doing something stupid.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

For me, feelings are too flighty to be taken seriously. I find it hard to apologize to people, for instance, if I say something abrasive. In my mind, I will have long since gotten over the "feeling" that lead me to respond that way, while the person I was speaking to, may not have. And I acknowledge this within myself, but I have a hard time letting them know that. I want them to get over it too. I usually don't have responses that are emotionally driven unless I'm "pushed" to this point... again, because to me, emotions are volatile and unstable. I usually don't respond to being attacked or criticized until it's built up to a level of intolerability and then, all of a sudden, I am the one that is wrong. To me, I have given plenty of opportunity for a situation NOT to escalate before I react in any exaggerated way (i.e. sarcasm, "snapping", or put-downs). I want them to extract the facts from my emotional responses and get over the emotion they might be reading from the situation without me having to say sorry. I would sooner avoid that person until they got over it.

Every now and then I do take things people say "to heart" as the feelers say, lol. For example someone giving me a critique of something I'm wearing. The only reason they tend to stick around in my head, is that I'm trying to look at the situation from a non-biased stand point, analyze the information, to a fault, even, and figure out, going forward, what will my overall response be. Will I bank the information or throw it away? Will it change anything I do or will that person need to get a life and leave me alone? lol

 

[m3110]

I'm a bipolar ii intp, so emotions are a big part of my life. They just don't rule and dictate how I make decisions, and as a rule I try very very hard to even block out my outbursts and emotions in general. (Which, for the record, is very hard and rarely happens.) It's just, to me at least, the way you make decisions and go about doing things. Emotions don't control my life because I don't let them be the basis for decisions and reason and logic, etc., unless they are too intense that I can't control it at all, which does happen. Again, Bipolar.

 

[Ganpot]

I'm pretty much a textbook INTP, but I feel the "emotionless" description of us is inaccurate. It's not that we are much less emotionally reactive than other people, it's just that we don't SHOW our emotions like other people do.

Actually, the "emotionless" description fits me extremely well. I don't feel any emotions other than anger, anxiety, and curiosity. No empathy whatsoever. Then again, I also have Asperger's, so that might have something to do with it.

 

[Etheri]

I'm not emotive (the only emotiveness I have is something I have worked hard to achieve, consciously, in order to connect better with others), but I'm very sensitive and empathetic. I've learned all the typical cues and contexts and use my N a lot to predict / anticipate how people might feel and why. And inside I feel a great deal.

But I have a barrier up that presents anything from spontaneously getting out, except for maybe laughter (because that's a fun, safe emotion).

---

Typically, young INTPs ignore/control their emotions, to retain their feelings of stability and clarity, until they are overwhelmed by a particular event and/or long-term situation that they suddenly can't contain, and so it explodes out of them. hence, the fabled "Fe Burst." And right afterwards, the INTP acts like nothing happened (although often disappearing out of embarrassment).

My thoughts are simply that INTPs typically screen their emotions, because they don't want any "loose cannon" things escape from them and ruin equilibrium/rationality.

But I don't think being an INTP means you have to be a robot. You can still engage people and show how you're feeling, especially once you get more practice and develop some finesse.

---

yes, succinct way to say it -- that's how I am too. In fact, people have MISUNDERSTOOD me before and think I'm clueless and/or don't care at all, when inside I very much was aware of things and cared deeply but made a conscious decision to not express it the way they'd hoped (for whatever reason).

I guess I will go on to say that sometimes now I use emotion to serve my rationality. I can take a happy stance or an angry/combative stance, or choose to say something with a particular inflection because I know it's what the person needs to hear to understand what they need to understand or achieve what they need to achieve.

Quoting these parts because I need to copy paste them whenever I get on my laptop later. They describe how... I feel (?) in clear-cut sentences. (This is my way of saying your post was absolutely wonderful, thankyou! )

Also, I've learned and thought about your very last paragraph a rather long time ago, pretty much immediately after I started 'controlling' my emotions. I grew up with much younger siblings and, at times, emotional parents. I remember ending up thinking about how we (my parents, me and the other 'older brother') would fake emotions to get an appropriate response from the youngest siblings. If you wanted them to be serious and listen to what you said, you just had to sound serious, slightly angry if need be. If you wanted them to realise you were just being playful, all you had to do was laugh / smile, and you could get away with teasing them about pretty much anything. I ended up trying the same things on the 'older' part of my family (parents etc.)... It worked remarkably well, and I've continued to use it (tho often less consciously) ever since. Even if you do not feel emotions, you can still use them to aid you. To most (all?) people, they're an important part of communication.

 

[Duxwing]

Quoting these parts because I need to copy paste them whenever I get on my laptop later. They describe how... I feel (?) in clear-cut sentences. (This is my way of saying your post was absolutely wonderful, thankyou! )

Also, I've learned and thought about your very last paragraph a rather long time ago, pretty much immediately after I started 'controlling' my emotions. I grew up with much younger siblings and, at times, emotional parents. I remember ending up thinking about how we (my parents, me and the other 'older brother') would fake emotions to get an appropriate response from the youngest siblings. If you wanted them to be serious and listen to what you said, you just had to sound serious, slightly angry if need be. If you wanted them to realise you were just being playful, all you had to do was laugh / smile, and you could get away with teasing them about pretty much anything. I ended up trying the same things on the 'older' part of my family (parents etc.)... It worked remarkably well, and I've continued to use it (tho often less consciously) ever since. Even if you do not feel emotions, you can still use them to aid you. To most (all?) people, they're an important part of communication.

Without a doubt, acting is a most useful skill. It exploits others' reliance on feelings; however, it comes at the price of guilt and not feeling "true" to the other person. In personal relationships, there's nothing that I hate more than being phony (except situations in which my inner voice is screaming "HERE COMES THE BOOM!" with regard to their reaction). Nevertheless, in such situations where one needs to "defuse the bomb" or "dodge a bullet," the deliberate use of acting is invaluable.

Personally, I see it as something to be used when the danger has approached 1% of the Godzilla Threshold (the point beyond which a threat eclipses any collateral damage that resistance could incur; originally conceived as the point at which summoning Godzilla himself couldn't make things any worse). Any earlier and life seems false, any later and I end up badly burned. Others have different set points, but this one works for me.

-Duxwing

 

[Words]

This is very complicated for me. If you know me well, then you would definitely think of me as somewhat cold. If you know me well and we get along well, then sometimes cheerful, sometimes cold. If we've lived together for years and don't talk much, then you'd see me as both cold and snobby. If we just recently met and i'm not interested in you, then cold and snobby. If i'm interested, then friendly and even chatty. I guess my level of sensitivity depends
on the other person. Alone, i have moments of complete robot-mindedness.

I try to be moderately considerate when its needed, but i hate hugs and other forms of excessive flaunty displays. It's simply irritating. I think I used to be overly sensitive though, but certainly not emotional.

INTP...uh...I would say not as emotional as F-types and outwardly more emotional than Te-types. In the middle.

 

[jaetwee]

Just look at the profile in your signature. You've got around 10% feeling in you.
Not everything is black and white so no need to worry if the box doesn't quite fit.

 

[catatonic]

I am very EMO EMO EMO super EMO INTJ.

It's just I always try to hide my emotion from others.
I'm so sad right now only because the whole of my family forgot my birthday.
Yea it's my birthday today, and only some guys who try to courting me and my childhood friends who remember my birthday. This is ridiculous, because actually almost every year none of my family remember my birthday.

Whatever, happy birthday to me...I've got a very expensive gift from a guy, so it's not really shitty birthday.

 

[BigApplePi]

Most profiles and many posts from INTPs seem to suggest that INTPs are either somewhat emotionless or unable to express emotion. Are there any INTPs who are emotive and sensitive, and can't help but express emotions that they feel?

My answer to this question for myself depends entirely on social context. If I'm with unfriendlies I will show zero emotion and clam up.* I don't examine my emotions (though they may be fear or caution) and hide them. I only look at them afterward. If I'm with neutrals ... well I'm not sure ... I'd have to collect the data. Get back to you on this. I think I'm more or less cool. If I'm with friendlies, I like to be rational but am far more at ease and will relax and act friendly. I do not explode with emotion but am not cold. If I'm with my wife, I show lots of emotion during interaction. This is a living relationship and I wouldn't call it exactly rational. If I'm alone I'm fond of thinking**, but if I'm alone with a movie I like, I prefer to be immersed in the movie and experience the emotions of the movie depending on my feelings toward what is going on. I hope not to think DURING the movie, but only afterward as how else can I experience it for what is true about it? Does this invalidate me being INTP or not?

*I take that back. I will sometimes show anger but it is measured. I can get very rational, but not logical. That means I act "J" like.

**I will experience all sorts of emotions: excitement, boredom, frustration, joy, aesthetic pleasure ... just off the top of my head.

 

[skip]

I think I lean towards the sensitive side of things, I just ignore it when it isn't useful.

 

[Yet]

I am very sensitive, I have lots of emotions all the time.
But I do not express them very elaborately. They are inside.

During conversation I can be very curious and analytic (b.e. if someone is telling me about their illness I want to know exactly what happens in the body) that seems insensitive. But during the information giving I am very aware about the impact it can have on someone. I feel for someone. (and do not forget to express it, but usually curiousity comes first)

Same with nature ... I want to know how phenomena work. I think about them while I 'feel' the beauty of it. It goes together. Beauty can make me grasp for air or cry. But how can something be beautifull just for outside effect? The workings add the dimension to it that make it really fantastic.

Sounds like a softy. But it is just sensitive, I feel intens.
But I am very much an INTP ... a perceptive, introvert thinker. In decision making I use my ratio. In processing harsh situations with big negative emotions I use mainly my ratio (prevents me from going nutters or doing stupid things). I like to depend on it more. Just following your feelings is silly cause you're less aware of your biases.
Thinking processes have their own biases... which can be quite annoying. I suppose pure objectivity is scarce.

 

[ObliviousGenius]

Remember, Feeling is a judging function. While I'm not "emotive" I still feel the emotion. INTP feelings don't really project because To say that you "can't help but to express emotion" is not a Ti trait at all. Ti is rational, Fe encompasses values and Fi encompasses personal values.

 

[Sorlaize]

MTBI is just a labelling system, remember. It's a lot more complex than that, in reality. Why should such a distinction of thinking vs. feeling even be there?

 

[Sorlaize]

For me, feelings are too flighty to be taken seriously. I find it hard to apologize to people

I had an 'issue' with a neighbour recently who put in 2 formal complaints about how loud my music was. My landlord asked me to apologize but since the complaints were very sudden and my music was nowhere near as loud as it had been even a couple of months ago, I was really taken aback by the whole thing but it was totally alien and I just didn't really have a response mentally. What I did was just chalk it up as "not my fault" in my head, and, really, I'd had no warnings that they'd brought a child into the house, so it wasn't my fault.

So like I said I was asked to apologize, but I thought, "well no, that's not really appropriate and it's not going to have any effect. The whole thing is out of my hands."

Every now and then I do take things people say "to heart" as the feelers say, lol. For example someone giving me a critique of something I'm wearing. The only reason they tend to stick around in my head, is that I'm trying to look at the situation from a non-biased stand point, analyze the information, to a fault, even, and figure out, going forward, what will my overall response be. Will I bank the information or throw it away? Will it change anything I do or will that person need to get a life and leave me alone? lol

I dunno about this, I have this "recurring social memory" because I don't get a lot of social interaction and so even small things last on my conscience / conscious thought. I have heard it's one of those innate primitive-brain psychological functions (so I wouldn't put it down to being able to rationalize it)

 

[DIALECTIC]

I lived as my shadow type ESFJ for maybe the 2/3rd of my life, mainly from age 12 or so until 36 when a massive existencial crisis bit my ass, changed me for ever and made me return to my core nature (INTP).
However i was wasn't a negative ESFJ 24/7, at times LUCKILY i was purely INTP constructing elaborate systems until emotions consumed me and i pretty much start destroying my system (some sort of self destruction). So my life has been about construction and deconstruction... Until it was eventually so dark, i could only see the light and i started following it, relearning to use my intellect and intuition instead of being dominated by my sensations and emotions !

 

[talear5162]

Most profiles and many posts from INTPs seem to suggest that INTPs are either somewhat emotionless or unable to express emotion. Are there any INTPs who are emotive and sensitive, and can't help but express emotions that they feel?

I believe that we can be Thinking but still be very emotional. Being dominant in Thinking doesn't mean we don't feel anything (in any case, if I'm not mistaken, Feeling doesn't refer to emotions, but just to what we use to make decisions).

At some point, I think it was on PersonalityJunkie, I read that our Fe is our inferior function, meaning that it's not well-controlled, which means we tend to have an all-or-nothing kind of reaction when it comes to emotions. Is it very un-INTPish to lean towards the "all" reaction than the "nothing" reaction? To feel strong emotions, and to express them?

To me, part of what makes me an INTP is that I prefer rationality, logic and facts when it comes to decision making, problem solving and basically everything else in my life. It's not that I don't consider morals, emotions and such, but logic always wins in my head. It doesn't stop me from being an emotional person though.

Any thoughts?

_____________________________________________
I am an INTP... I wouldn't say that I am emotionless but that I share how I feel to the few that need to know. I feel certain emotions far more then others and I often spend long bouts of time on my own just thinking about the difference between certain emotions and the toll to my body they can have.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

I would say that tends to be the case (extreme emotional displays). Sometimes I can be VERY animated compared to those around me and sometimes I'm even told, "Gosh, Trish, calm down" and people make me feel like I'm outta control when they do that. As if I'm some bipolar in a hypomanic episode who took speed.

I don't think when I do express emotion, people are prepared for it, either because it comes out in a burst, such as when "backed into a corner" or if I'm faced with an unplanned and usually new dilemma. For instance, I will admit there have been several times over the years where my light bill was not a priority. Then I'd come home to no lights and be upset. The first time it happened, I was in such shock and disarray that I sulked for the rest of the night and thought I was the worst human being on the earth. But every subsequent time it happened, all I thought was, "well that's my fault", better pay it tomorrow....

Once I freaked out because, for the first time ever, I couldn't find my iPod Touch. It got to the point where I broke out in hives on my neck and face and I had a straight-up anxiety attack. Ever since then, if I lose it, I remain calmer and able to assess the situation, backtrack my steps, etc...

In conclusion, it seems I generally have to be pretty passionate about whatever it is I'm emoting. But everything gets to a point of jadedness eventually.

 

[Psychic Child]

MBTI is pretty flawed

Be In Harmony
walk in Beauty
PC

 

[Psychic Child]

It is mostly about positive aspects of a personality, And Thinking and feeling , Intuition and sensing are not opposites of each other.
One can be a feeler and a thinker, and great sensor and intuitive at the same time.
I used to be very sensitive and emo.

Be In Harmony
walk in Beauty
PC

 

[snafupants]

One can be a feeler and a thinker, and great sensor and intuitive at the same time.

Which is why each person's functional stack includes thinking, feeling, sensing, and intuition.

An INTP is literally Ti-Ne-Si-Fe. Look ma, all four!

 

[Tony3d]

My emotions are very strong, but very child like and immature, almost like a beast living inside of me. My strong internal thinking keeps it in check and doesn't let it out very often, and when it does it is on a very short leash.

The problem is, when my thinking side gets stressed and can't come up with any possible solution to my problems, my though process can break down, turning me into some bipolar flipped ISFJ form of myself where my crazy underdeveloped emotions take over.

It is not a good thing... Most people think I am bipolar...

 

[VroumVroum]

Hi,

I think using a T function forces you to restrain your emotions while using an F function makes you dive in them.

I sometime feel like Ti makes me forget myself. I don’t choose what I want to do. Instead I "compute" what I should be doing.
So I think that being an INTP means you naturally put your emotions aside.

I'm more and more able to feel them but expressing them is more than difficult.

 

[Fghw]

To understand emotion, one must first acknowledge his own. A true INTP knows the value of emotion.

 

[Extraterrestrial]

The more I think about it, whether or not I consider myself a very emotional person or not, the more confused I get about it. I kind of long for love, but I can't seem to find it, or when I think I do, I always find something wrong with the guy. Or I feel misunderstood a lot in relationships. But every time I'm having an argument, or such with a potential future man - it makes me really depressed, and put me a bit off edge. I do, however, think this is more me rather than a typical INTP thing. Because, once it has nothing to do with a potential future man, I don't really care emotionally about anything. There are exceptions every now and then of course. But in general, I think I lean more over to thinking and analyzing stuff, rather than trying to "feel them". Not sure if this makes sense to anyone else but me, ha ha.

 

[Duxwing]

The more I think about it, whether or not I consider myself a very emotional person or not, the more confused I get about it. I kind of long for love, but I can't seem to find it, or when I think I do, I always find something wrong with the guy. Or I feel misunderstood a lot in relationships. But every time I'm having an argument, or such with a potential future man - it makes me really depressed, and put me a bit off edge. I do, however, think this is more me rather than a typical INTP thing. Because, once it has nothing to do with a potential future man, I don't really care emotionally about anything. There are exceptions every now and then of course. But in general, I think I lean more over to thinking and analyzing stuff, rather than trying to "feel them". Not sure if this makes sense to anyone else but me, ha ha.

Yeah, I've been there, too. Philosophy doesn't make great small talk on a first date-- unless, of course, you're on a date with an XNTP. But I nonetheless can see that it hurts, so here, have a nice, warm hug from me:

-Duxwing

 

[FrostFern]

Internally I'm a chaotic mess of emotions and cripplingly sensitive. The thing is I'm not outwardly nuanced or comfortable dealing with emotions. I'm awkward and my emotions seem to come out in uncontrolled all-or-nothing bursts. When under stress I do much better when I try to deal with things analytically and when I can no longer keep my emotions under wraps I'm likely to have a full-scale meltdown and find myself completely unable to cope with the situation. I'd also consider myself a deeply caring person but at the same time I have trouble being sentimental/romantic with someone. It's so much easier to discuss mutual interests. I don't want to be seen as emotionally aloof or disconnected from other people but I don't really have any skill at not coming off that way. I can use my general intuition to give me insight into other people's way of thinking on an intellectual level, but it doesn't really help me deal with people in practice on the spot.

 

[Duxwing]

Internally I'm a chaotic mess of emotions and cripplingly sensitive. The thing is I'm not outwardly nuanced or comfortable dealing with emotions. I'm awkward and my emotions seem to come out in uncontrolled all-or-nothing bursts. When under stress I do much better when I try to deal with things analytically and when I can no longer keep my emotions under wraps I'm likely to have a full-scale meltdown and find myself completely unable to cope with the situation. I'd also consider myself a deeply caring person but at the same time I have trouble being sentimental/romantic with someone. It's so much easier to discuss mutual interests. I don't want to be seen as emotionally aloof or disconnected from other people but I don't really have any skill at not coming off that way. I can use my general intuition to give me insight into other people's way of thinking on an intellectual level, but it doesn't really help me deal with people in practice on the spot.

I too suffer such a problem. I've learned to use my intuition to act as if I'm emotionally affected by the other person and then allow, as the behaviorists put, "The tail to wag the dog," thereby allowing me to empathize with him or her. The system only provides limited empathy, but such a limitation provides me a needed shield from my own feelings; hence, I prefer it to actually laying my emotions out there to be poked, prodded, and trod upon.

-Duxwing

 

[FrostFern]

I too suffer such a problem. I've learned to use my intuition to act as if I'm emotionally affected by the other person and then allow, as the behaviorists put, "The tail to wag the dog," thereby allowing me to empathize with him or her. The system only provides limited empathy, but such a limitation provides me a needed shield from my own feelings; hence, I prefer it to actually laying my emotions out there to be poked, prodded, and trod upon.

-Duxwing

I have a hard time with this. The instinctive fear of being seen as disingenuous is strong even though I know people appreciate the effort.

 

[Duxwing]

I have a hard time with this. The instinctive fear of being seen as disingenuous is strong even though I know people appreciate the effort.

If, while using your intuition to socialize, you intend to feel with them, then you aren't being disingenuous; rather, your struggle to act in a truly considerate way only evidences your sincerity. Nevertheless, should they question or doubt you, reply by saying, "It's hard for me to understand feelings on their own, so I supplement them with logic to better empathize with others". If the other person is kind, then they will accept your quirk and try to work around it.

-Duxwing

P.S. If you're looking to build relationships, then work around the other person's quirks, too.

 

[FrostFern]

If, while using your intuition to socialize, you intend to feel with them, then you aren't being disingenuous; rather, your struggle to act in a truly considerate way only evidences your sincerity. Nevertheless, should they question or doubt you, reply by saying, "It's hard for me to understand feelings on their own, so I supplement them with logic to better empathize with others". If the other person is kind, then they will accept your quirk and try to work around it.

-Duxwing

P.S. If you're looking to build relationships, then work around the other person's quirks, too.

I don't know if fear of being "discovered" as disingenuous is really rational. The truth of the matter is sometimes I just find social interaction uncomfortable in an almost physical sense and I can come up with kinds of implacable paranoid reasoning to try and explain exactly what it is that's bothering me. All social interaction is "acting" or "playing a game" to create an impression to some degree. It seems most "normal" extroverted people have such a seamless connection between their inner thoughts and their sense of social "self" that it doesn't ever feel like acting to them.

To me I could only ever be completely comfortable if both parties (me and the other) could share their innermost unfiltered thoughts through osmosis. It's the whole "cloud of unknowing" that comes with the filtering process that breeds discomfort. It's that feeling of hesitance and awkward silences. I think I do better with people who are the opposite of me. People who can "fill in" for my silence and put me at ease. Only in that case I make the other person do all the work so I feel like I take more than I give out.