Does it sadden you?

[Galthian]

That the only people who will ever truely understand you, exsist in a forum, untrue to reality?

No one I know in my life, knows or understand who I am. It's kind of disconcerting :/


Drunk and sad right now... Tell me how you guys deal with this?
Or if you have someone, however did you find them? No one truly understands the things I say or feel...

 

[Galthian]

At the same time I'm completely fine with being alone, I'm an observer. I'm not meant to fit in. I hover amongst those whom choose a more human life. I see how they live and how they perceive, yet I often hate every fiber that goes into it. Their thought process and how they see the world, it sickens me to an extent, yet I know that they are true humans, what we are meant to be. I feel so distant, yet I allow this human self to intrude upon me. I have empathy for their thoughts, yet I want nothing to do with them.

I'm at a very confusing stage, and I want out. Please, pleaaaase help.

 

[Fukyo]

That the only people who will ever truely understand you, exsist in a forum, untrue to reality?

I really hope this won't be the case.

it's not a very pleasant thought.

At the same time I'm completely fine with being alone, I'm an observer. I'm not meant to fit in. I hover amongst those whom choose a more human life. I see how they live and how they perceive, yet I often hate every fiber that goes into it. Their thought process and how they see the world, it sickens me to an extent, yet I know that they are true humans, what we are meant to be. I feel so distant, yet I allow this human self to intrude upon me. I have empathy for their thoughts, yet I want nothing to do with them.

I'm at a very confusing stage, and I want out. Please, pleaaaase help.

I know exactly how you feel....If it's any help it's your inferior Fe.

I made it slightly easier for me to manage by understanding the dynamics of the functions which put all of this in more comprehensive, structured terms.

 

[Galthian]

I really hope this won't be the case.

it's not a very pleasant thought.

I fucking love your signature.

 

[typus]

If they exist on a forum they exist in the real world too. It's just a bit hard to find them I guess. Everything gets ruined because of this introversion, had it not been like this it would be obvious to those like you that you are like them, but now they think of you like you think of them, even if they're different. I guess. Not sure. Maybe.

 

[shoeless]

one can be an introvert but still social. i know it's hard, i've been there, but it's a skill like anything else and you just have to work on it.

like typus said: if they exist on a forum, they exist in the real world too. you'll meet them some day, i promise. everyone has these rocky stages. it always passes.

 

[Galthian]

If they exist on a forum they exist in the real world too. It's just a bit hard to find them I guess. Everything gets ruined because of this introversion, had it not been like this it would be obvious to those like you that you are like them, but now they think of you like you think of them, even if they're different. I guess. Not sure. Maybe.

I completely agree with you in a way. They exist, the only thing is, I wish I could see them in the flesh... I don't know what part of me wishes this... I just need it to be.. I wish we lived in our own society... It would certainly be a utopia..

 

[shoeless]

also, i really think isolating yourself from the rest of society because you are an INTP ("i wish we lived in our own utopia" etc.) is not a good line of thinking at all.

yeah, there are a lot of assholes in the world, but you'd be surprised the way completely different people can understand, on a different level, the way your mind works. even if they don't operate the same way themselves.

you just need to give people (as a whole, i'm talking about EVERYONE here) a chance. they can be surprising.

edit: also, people are just people, etc. etc. you know that story already.

 

[ckm]

If your issue is truly that of not being understood for who you are, then who are you? Do you really know the answer?

If, somehow, you know that, I think it's rather superficial to assume that the members (I'm assuming by merit of being INTP) here do, in fact, understand who you are. However, if so, it is far more likely than not that you will encounter an "INTP" in your lifetime, if that gives you some comfort. As mentioned though, I doubt that contact through the veil of a computer (or perhaps even face-to-face, depending on what your idea of "understanding" entails) can possibly lead to truly understanding who one "is".

I don't mean to be disheartening. I can empathise with your situation as I believe I have felt similarly before. You are not alone in your loneliness.

 

[Galthian]

also, i really think isolating yourself from the rest of society because you are an INTP ("i wish we lived in our own utopia" etc.) is not a good line of thinking at all.

yeah, there are a lot of assholes in the world, but you'd be surprised the way completely different people can understand, on a different level, the way your mind works. even if they don't operate the same way themselves.

you just need to give people (as a whole, i'm talking about EVERYONE here) a chance. they can be surprising.

edit: also, people are just people, etc. etc. you know that story already.

That's just the thing.. I've given people so many chances and opened my mind to so many things, and yet they still fail me. They are not who I thought they were, they are incredibly flawed with their emotions.. or they judge things in such a way that they simply don't have the capacity to accept that there are other patterns of thought..

Perhaps I am at a crossroads.. to a slightly different pattern.. slightly improved... and perhaps I fear I will never reach the end...

 

[Galthian]

If your issue is truly that of not being understood for who you are, then who are you? Do you really know the answer?

If, somehow, you know that, I think it's rather superficial to assume that the members (I'm assuming by merit of being INTP) here do, in fact, understand who you are. However, if so, it is far more likely than not that you will encounter an "INTP" in your lifetime, if that gives you some comfort. As mentioned though, I doubt that contact through the veil of a computer (or perhaps even face-to-face, depending on what your idea of "understanding" entails) can possibly lead to truly understanding who one "is".

I don't mean to be disheartening. I can empathise with your situation as I believe I have felt similarly before. You are not alone in your loneliness.

Superficial indeed, but when there is no where else to look, you look at yourself. And since I see so many similarities amongst the people of this forum, I assume that they too understand to an extent.

Perhaps it is shallow, but meeting another INTP would be an incredible experience to me... finally embodying myself...

 

[bloozie]

I think it's rather fun to be mysterious to other people than to have them understand you from the get go. For instance, it would basically be seen as an excuse to be this way if people understood you... they'll say.. "Oh, he thinks or acts this way because of what he labeled himself.." .... And then they would decide not to argue with you or some crap.
Also, about this "Utopian Society".... I use to think this way but for only a millisecond. It would eventually be boring after awhile.... Essentially there wouldn't be any other types of people with whom we can challenge ourselves with... because they will be thinking along a different wavelength than us. Unless... you want all NT types instead of just INTP types in a society.

 

[Minuend]

Ah, can one ever truly understand one another?

We can never even touch another person as our atoms' electromagnetic force always keeps us apart.

I don't have anyone like me around. I rarely socialize at all. I am the only one who can change my situation, and since I'm not trying, I don't allow myself to be sad about it. Of course, in some cases one can't just decide so. I'm just speaking for myself and this particular situation.

I don't feel particularly sad about it either. Socializing is draining. At least it has been so far. Maybe I've been with people who don't suit me, or I them. I have no immediate desire to connect with people. I sometimes think it would be interesting when I see people on this forum, though. They kinda make it look fun.... occasionally.

 

[shoeless]

one more thing one more thing (prolly beating a dead horse here):

you are much more than your designated four-letter personality "type". no two INTP's (or anyone else for that matter) truly think alike, because there are countless other biological/societal/etc. factors that changes a person's behavior and thought process dramatically.

so maybe it would look similar on paper, but i don't think it's what you're picturing at all.

 

[Galthian]

I think it's rather fun to be mysterious to other people than to have them understand you from the get go. For instance, it would basically be seen as an excuse to be this way if people understood you... they'll say.. "Oh, he thinks or acts this way because of what he labeled himself.." .... And then they would decide not to argue with you or some crap.
Also, about this "Utopian Society".... I use to think this way but for only a millisecond. It would eventually be boring after awhile.... Essentially there wouldn't be any other types of people with whom we can challenge ourselves with... because they will be thinking along a different wavelength than us. Unless... you want all NT types instead of just INTP types in a society.

Oh yes! Of course we would get bored of each other, you are quite right. I do wish an NT society though, one that does not rely on petty emotion at least.. what a beautiful world it would be..

 

[Galthian]

Ah, can one ever truly understand one another?

We can never even touch another person as our atoms' electromagnetic force always keeps us apart.

I don't have anyone like me around. I rarely socialize at all. I am the only one who can change my situation, and since I'm not trying, I don't allow myself to be sad about it. Of course, in some cases one can't just decide so. I'm just speaking for myself and this particular situation.

I don't feel particularly sad about it either. Socializing is draining. At least it has been so far. Maybe I've been with people who don't suit me, or I them. I have no immediate desire to connect with people. I sometimes think it would be interesting when I see people on this forum, though. They kinda make it look fun.... occasionally.

Ha! Going down to the atomic level (which of course is what it all boils down to). For some reason though, this bothers me so..

 

[Galthian]

one more thing one more thing (prolly beating a dead horse here):

you are much more than your designated four-letter personality "type". no two INTP's (or anyone else for that matter) truly think alike, because there are countless other biological/societal/etc. factors that changes a person's behavior and thought process dramatically.

so maybe it would look similar on paper, but i don't think it's what you're picturing at all.

This I know. Confining one's self to a 4 word description would be ignorant at best. But, having at least minimal (eye to eye) conversation would be phenomenal. With someone who thinks the same as me.. This does not mean to say that they have come to the same conclusions on life.. I suppose that is what would make it interesting..

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Everyone wants to be understood, to have their existence validated. Yet if everyone is so preoccupied with being understood, then who is there to understand?

Probably the only decent advice my Mother ever gave me. After all everyone loves a listener, especially one that legitimately cares. In my experience there is far more value to be found in understanding, than being understood. I'd recommend you go out specifically to understand others alien to you, if anything it'll teach you something about yourself and understanding yourself is something right? Of course you may find an individual just as curious about you, but I can't offer any advice in that regard as I'm at a loss how to deal with it myself.

We're all basically alone. No one will ever fully understand you Galthian. Even the lovely people on the forum, and if you stay long enough you'll realize they're just as alien as people you meet on the street. We are only able to see slivers of each other. We call it common ground, but it's mostly just a veneer of understanding and empathy shrouding the reality our innate and vast differences. Although that's just the nature of the interaction between humans in general, a tribal instinct to label those around you as 'us' and 'them.'

It seems what you need is someone who accepts you, not someone who understands. The difference can seem slight and unimportant, but it can be the distinction between hate and love.

 

[nexion]

I was there not too long ago, actually. I lamented at the fact that no one can understand me. The situation is resolved now, which, for lack of better words, means I gave up searching for people like me in the real world and accepted that I would never really be understood by anyone except people I don't know who live in other countries (though one might find two or three in his life). Anyway, this doesn't really sadden me. I spend 10+ hours on the computer a day anyway, so why would it matter if about the only people I talk to are also on the computer? Maybe one day I shall find someone, but we shall see. I've been through a lot of doubt on my identity and beliefs lately, well, more than usual, so I've been thinking a lot more than I usually do about these subjects as well. Even still, I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[Galthian]

Everyone wants to be understood, to have their existence validated. Yet if everyone is so preoccupied with being understood, then who is there to understand?

Probably the only decent advice my Mother ever gave me. After all everyone loves listener, especially one that legitimately cares. In my experience there is far more value to be found in understanding, than being understood. I'd recommend you go out specifically to understand others alien to you, if anything it'll teach you something about yourself and understanding yourself is something right? Of course you may find an individual just as curious about you, but I can't offer any advice in that regard as I'm at a loss how to deal with it myself.

We're all basically alone. No one will ever fully understand you Galthian. Even the lovely people on the forum, and if you stay long enough you'll realize they're just as alien as people you meet on the street. We are only able to see slivers of each other. We call it common ground, but it's mostly just a veneer of understanding and empathy shrouding the reality our innate and vast differences. Although that's just the nature of the interaction between humans in general, a tribal instinct to label those around you as 'us' and 'them.'

It seems what you need is someone who accepts you, not someone who understands. The difference can seem slight and unimportant, but it can be the distinction between hate and love.

I suppose I'm beginning to discern what you guys are saying.. I should just accept that I am, and am the only one who will ever understand myself (if that xD).

It's sad what we humans are. We are pre-disposed to an idea of unity, yet doomed to be apart.. All pieces of a puzzle that don't fit together..

 

[Galthian]

I was there not too long ago, actually. I lamented at the fact that no one can understand me. The situation is resolved now, which, for lack of better words, means I gave up searching for people like me in the real world and accepted that I would never really be understood by anyone except people I don't know who live in other countries (though one might find two or three in his life). Anyway, this doesn't really sadden me. I spend 10+ hours on the computer a day anyway, so why would it matter if about the only people I talk to are also on the computer? Maybe one day I shall find someone, but we shall see. I've been through a lot of doubt on my identity and beliefs lately, well, more than usual, so I've been thinking a lot more than I usually do about these subjects as well. Even still, I hope you find what you're looking for.

Exactly, To you too..

 

[Puffy]

This is just a guess but may I assume you are relatively young? It's something that gets easier with age, but it will get even easier if you continue to try and put yourself out there, as your previous comments imply that you have. If you are in school just think out of the hundreds of students there there will be what 1-2 INTPs per 100? Then what 1-2 more INTJs? Then more introverted intuitives and other NTs, introverts don't stick out much in school, if you probe a bit they will come out though as they are going through what you are as well and would likewise enjoy your company.

I floated around in school and eventually fell in with a group of likeminded friends who I recently discovered turned out to be an INTP, an INTJ, an INFP and a INFJ. Introverted intuitives tend to flock...

 

[Galthian]

This is just a guess but may I assume you are relatively young? It's something that gets easier with age, but it will get even easier if you continue to try and put yourself out there, as your previous comments imply that you have. If you are in school just think out of the hundreds of students there there will be what 1-2 INTPs per 100? Then what 1-2 more INTJs? Then more introverted intuitives and other NTs, introverts don't stick out much in school, if you probe a bit they will come out though as they are going through what you are as well and would likewise enjoy your company.

I floated around in school and eventually fell in with a group of likeminded friends who I recently discovered turned out to be an INTP, an INTJ, an INFP and a INFJ. Introverted intuitives tend to flock...

Indeed! I'm 17 and starting college tomorrow.. duel enrollment at highschool and a local university.. I know two other int's, one being an INTJ whom is so stuck in his ways he refuses to accept any other possibilities, and the other an INTP who I don't know nearly as well.. perhaps I should pursue a more friendly relationship with him...

Lol still drunk but really I wish we were all androids.. It is the perfect analogy to me.. (as Cognisant has said before we are "misanthropes with empathy"). I just feel like

 

[₲uardian]

No one asked you to defy the universe with your uniqueness. Live with who you are.

 

[nexion]

Indeed! I'm 17 and starting college tomorrow.. duel enrollment at highschool and a local university.. I know two other int's, one being an INTJ whom is so stuck in his ways he refuses to accept any other possibilities, and the other an INTP who I don't know nearly as well.. perhaps I should pursue a more friendly relationship with him...

Lol still drunk but really I wish we were all androids.. It is the perfect analogy to me.. (as Cognisant has said before we are "misanthropes with empathy"). I just feel like

Yes! Cyborgs! Am I right?

 

[typus]

Yes! Cyborgs! Am I right?

ATTENTION CYBORGS: WHAT IS THE DEAL

 

[kantor1003]

That the only people who will ever truely understand you, exsist in a forum, untrue to reality?

No one I know in my life, knows or understand who I am. It's kind of disconcerting :/

People have a tendency to overestimate how much people really understand them on a forum.
No one will ever understand you the way you do. You are alone in that regard.

 

[DarkGreen]

Being alone makes you alone but don't make people your highest standard, if they set the bar then there wouldn't be things like love, hope, or faith. Isn't it ridiculous to rely on yourself and people when you obviously see them being wrong most of the time? You got drunk, which was silly and say your neighbor across the street was committing tax fraud which is also silly. Would you really say that humans are the highest creatures? Why don't you try communicating with something higher like a God? Go on a journey and document it, write a blog. Which God really works? Who should I pray to? Does prayer work? Is it radical enough to overcome my neighbor's fraudulence? Is it radical enough to make me feel happy?

 

[DarkGreen]

and if I know anything you CAN be understood, loved, and especiallly forgiven. we're not living so we can be roadblocked.

 

[warryer]

Fuck it all - do what makes you happy.

Take that plunge into those dark murky waters. You might not find what you expected but, you are being true to yourself. Let go of your preconceived notions they will only serve to disappoint you.

 

[nexion]

Fuck it all - do what makes you happy.

Take that plunge into those dark murky waters. You might not find what you expected but, you are being true to yourself. Let go of your preconceived notions they will only serve to disappoint you.

I can understand this.

 

[archimonde]

Indeed! I'm 17 and starting college tomorrow.. duel enrollment at highschool and a local university.. I know two other int's, one being an INTJ whom is so stuck in his ways he refuses to accept any other possibilities, and the other an INTP who I don't know nearly as well.. perhaps I should pursue a more friendly relationship with him...

Lol still drunk but really I wish we were all androids.. It is the perfect analogy to me.. (as Cognisant has said before we are "misanthropes with empathy"). I just feel like

I am half way through my college education, and some of my closest friends I made during this period are ES or EN. One friend I have loves to talk while watching movies in theatres, often makes crude jokes, and is extremely emotional. Yet, that person is one of very few people who cares about me, whom I can talk to on various topics (other than emotional topics which I get uncomfortable) and hang out together. In theory, we should be despising each other, and we initially did. But, being friends with someone just means you share the same interests, and since we both study architecture, we both share interest not only in buildings, but also in fine art, technologies, pop culture etc... We still fight because of our different views of the world, but we have grown to forgive each other because we understand that we are very different people.

Funny thing is, not only INTP's are rare, but our non-social nature makes finding people like us even harder. But, I think the worst thing we can do is to specifically search for INTP's. Just because we both like to procastrinate and scoff at the world, doesnt mean we are compatible. Infact, I don't think two INTPs in a relationship would necessaraily work because of both side's inability to respond to emotional needs.

 

[nexion]

I am half way through my college education, and some of my closest friends I made during this period are ES or EN. One friend I have loves to talk while watching movies in theatres, often makes crude jokes, and is extremely emotional. Yet, that person is one of very few people who cares about me, whom I can talk to on various topics (other than emotional topics which I get uncomfortable) and hang out together. In theory, we should be despising each other, and we initially did. But, being friends with someone just means you share the same interests, and since we both study architecture, we both share interest not only in buildings, but also in fine art, technologies, pop culture etc... We still fight because of our different views of the world, but we have grown to forgive each other because we understand that we are very different people.

Funny thing is, not only INTP's are rare, but our non-social nature makes finding people like us even harder. But, I think the worst thing we can do is to specifically search for INTP's. Just because we both like to procastrinate and scoff at the world, doesnt mean we are compatible. Infact, I don't think two INTPs in a relationship would necessaraily work because of both side's inability to respond to emotional needs.

I don't think he was referring to a romantic relation.

 

[DrSketchpad]

That the only people who will ever truely understand you, exsist in a forum, untrue to reality?

No one I know in my life, knows or understand who I am. It's kind of disconcerting :/


Drunk and sad right now... Tell me how you guys deal with this?
Or if you have someone, however did you find them? No one truly understands the things I say or feel...

I can't say I feel exactly like you do, but other than my dad (INTJ) no one else really knows me enough to relate to me accurately and understand me.

 

[AureliaSeverina]

HUGS! (If you hate being hugged you don't need to take this literally)

There are probably more people who like you than you realize. I know your not talking about people liking you and I know that lots of people only like NTs' public facade and run away when they get to know us better. But these things happen and most of the time there isn't any explanation for it, it's just life.

Maybe it's a good thing that you are struggling with your Fe at a relatively young age. I know some middle-aged INTPs who are only at that stage now and some who will never reach it because they're just so vague that they can't even identify what's going on. I think you are stronger than you know, seeing as you are facing this crisis at 17 when some are still running away from it at 47.

As for your INTJ friend, it's probably just miscommunications. I'm an INTJ and I have these situations all the time with my INTP friend and yet we've been friends for 10 years. If you want to post some examples of your argumnets with him I'll try to explain his thought processes to the best of my ability. (I might still be wrong, seeing as I don't know him and no two people are the same and he might well be a jerk or I might be a jerk).

edit to add:
Also, just do find something you are interested in (if you haven't yet) and you'll make friends automatically. There's this quote by I-don't-know-who that say true love isn't looking at each other, but looking at the same thing. (I don't mean romantic love, I just mean friendships and stuff).

Oh bummer, I just noticed that I'm necroposting and the OP has probably disappeared long ago, @DrSketchpad, I'll find some way to blame this on you!