Do you think you fully belong here?

[kantor1003]

I'm amazed at how many people feel like they don't fit in. You do know you fit in perfectly, right? Nobody here seems remotely out of place.. in my opinion anyway.

What would it take for you to classify someone as out of place in this forum?

 

[JUN]

I'm amazed at how many people feel like they don't fit in. You do know you fit in perfectly, right? Nobody here seems remotely out of place.. in my opinion anyway.

As I tried to say with my post... The fact that we all think that we don't fit in is PRECISELY what makes us fit in, man.

 

[transformers]

What would it take for you to classify someone as out of place in this forum?

hmm emotional outbursts maybe. I haven't seen anyone completely lose it and start bawling (metaphorically speaking) on the forums yet. If I did I'd probably question why they were here.

 

[transformers]

As I tried to say with my post... The fact that we all think that we don't fit in is PRECISELY what makes us fit in, man.

heh maybe you're right. but I don't feel like I don't fit in- does that mean I don't fit in?

 

[JUN]

No, it means you're just past your "I DON'T FIT IN ANYWHERE" thing. As in, you accepted to yourself that it is likely that you won't fit in in many places and you know that you will fit in some.

Instead of "Black and White"-ing that most people seem to be doing here when they say: I DON'T FIT IN ANYWHERE.

 

[Felan]

I would give myself a 2.

I'm inclined to believe INTPs tendancies in thinking leads to a greater diversity in thought as a population than is typical of other types. For me the desire to explore ideas, possess an outlet of expression for my own meager fare, and general silliness is the draw.

I actually submit perhaps 1 in 10 posts that I type up. Even those I do submit I am usually unhappy with but less so than the other 9. My posts seem to do little to encourage discussion, which is fine. For me its important to express even if its only to work out something.

Perhaps if there was another place that I felt better fit me then I might be there rather than here. I really doubt there is such a place.

 

[JUN]

Why don't you people read my posts ? Gee.

 

[cheese]

There's more to fitting in than just one commonality, ranondrugs. /patrony

I think perhaps there's a loud, vocal, witty and active clique on the forum, and anyone who doesn't feel part of that clique - which is most of us - feel like we don't fit in. This is normal though. There will always be those that rise to the top of everyone's radar, even amongst shits like us. The 'popular' equivalent. Please note that this elite don't actually know everyone, nor are they popular with everyone. They're simply high-profile, have an established group of cronies, and generally have been around a while - thus lending that completely-at-home air.

Then there are those relatively new who are similar enough to this group that they manage to worm their way in, till they're as thick as thieves with the rest.

Anyway, it's pyramid theory. The high-profile at the top don't dictate the entire culture of the place. The masses at the bottom only need step up; there are far more of you than them. Stop feeling so dang out of place!

Felan, we all love you and you know it, humbug.

I think the most important traits to 'fit in' with the majority here are not intelligence, or wit, but willingness:
to think
to objectively assess other perspectives

That's it. Using your mind as best, and as fairly, as you can.

Dammit that was my last 2c.

 

[Felan]

Why don't you people read my posts ? Gee.

Well your avatar is rather disturbing to me ... which is an interesting consequence in itself but it does tend to discourage me from dwelling on your posts :P

 

[Anthile]

Actually I just keep the place clean and kick out the troublemakers. I'm a janitor - like the janitor from Good Will Hunting or Scrubs.

 

[Ashenstar]

The janitor from Scrubs is one of my favorite characters.

 

[JUN]

Yeah, it is supposed to do that.

Also, there is no hierarchy. Stop victimizing yourselves, the hierarchy only exists if you accept it.

 

[cheese]

Precisely! I never understood social power structures.

 

[Da Blob]

Precisely! I never understood social power structures.

I do not understand where this 'hierarchy' is seen? I have only been a member of the forum for 10 months and while it is true that there are a handful of 'old-timers' that stick to themselves, I do not think it is about status as it is about 'relationships'. It does take a bit of time to realize where some of these comments are coming from or to guess at what tone of voice the messages are delivered. However, it seems to me that most everyone who stays is a tolerant person with a sense of humor (of one kind or another)
I would be curious as to how this hierarchy appears to the 'newbies'? I mean even those in positions of authority do not seem to derive any ego boosts from their admin status? However, I may be blind to such things...

 

[Auburn]

...i think i sort of agree with blob on this. i think it's more about naturally formed connections/relationships that certain members have with each other. this does not at all mean there is a hierarchy, but there's just bonds between certain individuals. I really don't see how they exert themselves as superior for it though.. not even the staff..

 

[Ashenstar]

I agree with Da Blob as well.

This hierarchy is only percieved in the minds of those who... wait.. how can I say this without sounding like captain obvious?

I give up.

 

[Felan]

...

Felan, we all love you and you know it, humbug.

...

I love you too Cheese, especially melted and on buttered bread.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

It's funny how I percieve some people as fitting in quite naturally and yet I myself feel like an aquantence. And yet still everyone else feels the same way. I guess I do truly belong here even though I don't feel a part of any heirarchy (there must not be one! ). So I'm going to start one right now with me at the very top!

My first official edit:

We all belong here.

*end of thread*

 

[JUN]

Yeah ? Why wasn't it the end of the thread when I said the exact same thing ? THIS TOTALLY PROVES THAT THERE IS AN HIERARCHY !

POWER TO THE PEOPLE.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Yeah ? Why wasn't it the end of the thread when I said the exact same thing ? THIS TOTALLY PROVES THAT THERE IS AN HIERARCHY !

Well you didn't declare it end of thread (did you? too lazy to go look). You also lack certain authority since it is not your thread. Even if it was your thread, the authority to end it is rather limited as your's and this post demonstrates.

 

[JUN]

POWER TO THE PEOPLE, I DON'T CARE.

 

[Aiss]

...i think i sort of agree with blob on this. i think it's more about naturally formed connections/relationships that certain members have with each other. this does not at all mean there is a hierarchy, but there's just bonds between certain individuals. I really don't see how they exert themselves as superior for it though.. not even the staff..

They don't. Or at least I didn't notice it either. I think the issue some people have with this sort of cliques is that they feel excluded (because they don't get the insider jokes, because they feel their posts go unnoticed, because they aren't as openly appreciated...), which ultimately stems from a desire to belong, even if they deny it.

I would think INTPs are less likely to react in this way, because we're observers who would watch closely interactions between others and then finally try to slip in unnoticed... but I suppose it's more of personal preference than a rule after all.

 

[Da Blob]

I'd put myself at probably around 2 or 3. Probably about 90% of the posts I read I either never post any replies or I delete what I was going to say before posting it because I don't think anyone would really give two shits what I have to say. I'll stick with what I do best - debating with people...

...Which is why Blob does belong here - he is my arch nemesis, and without him I would probably make half the posts I do now

EDIT: it all depends, too, I suppose. A year ago I would have probably ranked myself higher, but that's perhaps more of a change in my own mindset then in the forum atmosphere (although I do miss EB, FusionKnight, et al. And derailing threads with NoID10t's).

nemesis |ˈneməsis|
noun ( pl. -ses |-ˌsēz|) (usu. one's nemesis)
the inescapable or implacable agent of someone's or something's downfall

Why, (sniff) that is the nicest thing anyone has said about me... I miss EB and FK as well. Has anyone thought about asking them to come back? I do not think, we should let people leave without a God-b'wi'ye or a "May the Force be with you"... It seems rude somehow. I think we should have some kind of ritual for the departing - I always thought Viking funerals were neat...

EDIT:Perhaps we could start an "In Memorial" thread for our dearly departed...

 

[Claverhouse]

(because they don't get the insider jokes, because they feel their posts go unnoticed, because they aren't as openly appreciated...)

Very perceptive. Just yesterday I wrote to someone:

One of my favorite mottos is: 'Everyone always thinks their own posts are ignored', but actually that's part of the Human Condition and is not peculiar to internet fora...


This should be included as an irremovable byline in burnished letters of gold with all forum software...



Claverhouse

 

[Felan]

Very perceptive. Just yesterday I wrote to someone:

One of my favorite mottos is: 'Everyone always thinks their own posts are ignored', but actually that's part of the Human Condition and is not peculiar to internet fora...


This should be included as an irremovable byline in burnished letters of gold with all forum software...



Claverhouse

That's because its always true until someone says something about it :P

 

[severus]

I feel like a little kid listening to adults talking about some serious subject that just doesn't stick in my head.

Yeah. This.

I like reading threads, I just don't feel I have much to contribute. I also fail at bonding with people just as horribly here as I do offline. Of course it doesn't help that I disappear for months at a time....

3

 

[Cavallier]

Everybody feels ignored and unappreciated at times. It's part of the human existence.* However, it's a sad mistake to equate a lack of response to your post as a sign of forum members not appreciating you or your contribution. I often don't get the responses I'm looking for after I've written something I happen to think is actually rather clever. But, that being said, I wonder as to whether we should really be using those feelings as an indicator of how well we fit in with this forum.

I liked Claverhouse's expansive analogy. It's like a tavern where you are more than welcome to add to the general rabble of discussions or even start a couple if you want. You are welcome to get on the stage and perform a bit if you want. But, of course, you could just get yourself a beer and enjoy the show. It's an added bonus that there aren't any real brawls because the bouncers Janitors are so good. Besides, INTPforum beer is actually really pretty good.

Ran, stop using caps. You're giving me a headache. Also, don't expect the thread to end with your summation. We're INTPs! If we don't analyze something to death then no one ever would!

I think we all bring our own strengths/weirdnesses to the party. So, I've decided the idea of how well we think we fit in is silly. I give myself an 11!

*Was that said before? Meh, probably.

 

[cheese]

Nonono, I don't mean anyone is exerting superiority, good lord, not here. It's perceived, hierarchy, for all the reasons everyone else has mentioned - which basically boil down to feeling left out. Which is why people should take it easy and just get to know one another.

My comment was meant on a broader scale - not understanding power structures whether perceived by the people only or also by the 'elite', because it's often just a mental game you can stop playing whenever you want, because often there isn't any tangible backing behind the power; all that is needed is to activate the masses...
anyway, not that anyone CARES!

For what it's worth, I often read posts that I think are witty/insightful/well-written and I don't comment, as I haven't anything to add. The same goes for a lot of us, from what I've heard. The Appreciation thread would be a better indicator of how you weigh in the social balance, but don't take that at face value either - 9 out of 10 posts deleted seems a bleakly accurate stat for forumers, so it's likely your bit of adulation is on the dump (please don't think too hard about what that means).

I love you too Cheese, especially melted and on buttered bread.

I had plans for that foot.

 

[Seducer of the Homeless]

2/3

i don't really...no

 

[Zero]

1 or ....0

I have long hiatuses and I tend to return when all my trust and like of humanity has crumbled again. It's very conditional. Time changes things, but right now I don't feel like I can trust this place any more than the NF writing group I WAS trying to help.

All the world's a minefield.

*Also, that potato thread makes my doubt skyrocket.

 

[Annablueblue]

No, I don't feel like I belong here but I keep coming back; I feel I'm a 2.5. Most of the time I don't even log in; I just read threads and think I have nothing to contribute. But, I keep coming back. I love popping in here I guess because people discuss things that feel so relevant to me, yet I feel way out of my league intellectually.

 

[Android]

3 when I'm sober, 6 when I'm stoned, and 10 when I'm drunk and stoned. So probably a 5 on average.

 

[Eljua]

Considering all this talk of not feeling appreciated, perhaps we should try and get some sort of ranking system where we can rate posts we like. That way we can actually quantify the amount of times we've been ignored and come up with a better way of proving we're unappreciated than simply saying we "feel" it.

Back on topic though, I have trouble saying whether I belong here or not, on one half simply being here and randomly contributing generally tends to be an excercise in promoting my more intellectual qualities, though I doubt that comes across when I post. On the other hand, when I post I try and suppress my more dominant sarcastic/piss taking qualities that as a general rule tend to be what I'm usually associated with on the various sites I've frequented in the past. I suppose the place I felt most at home wa sthe place where people were segregated into different "nations" and so it was easier to get to know some individual members on a one to one basis, rather than simply, as most forums tend to feel, gatecrashing a private party.

 

[Madoness]

I've been here almost a year now, I doubt if everyone knows me. It's a part because I do not find some topics important enough or I do not know much about, and I am not socially comfortable with other people, even more if one has a similar mindset as I do but disagrees with me. I'm glad that here are people with different views but with similar mindsets. I'm kind of fascinated by it.

I would put myself as a 7. I can understand how people with similar way of thinking get to different conclusions, I like it a lot, but there are a lot of topics I don't care much about. Pure science is fascinating to read about but I'm not a scientist, be discussing it would be like a dog barking at a neighbourghshttp://www.spellingcenter.com/neighbourgh house. I can only discuss what I can talk about, science is not imagination, I can imagine something being real or not, but not criticize it if I cannot understand basics of something, even if I would if and I would criticize, I'd have to have some theories other than purely imagination to certify my thoughts.

 

[bovinity]

i love you all

 

[Zero]

i love you all

Fuck you man. I laugh every time I see one of your posts.

So much One-Up Manship. It's like being Luigi and you're Mario and not only are you ten times as popular, you also have Princess as your gf (and she makes you cakes), and you also ride on a mini-T-Rex; THEN, every time you post, you get one of those mega mushrooms.

Luigi probably suffers major depression (or issues anyhow).

 

[Chimera]

I've been here for about a year and a half now. I wander around and away from the forum (sometimes for months at a time), but I keep coming back. I don't know if people notice me or not, but that's okay; I don't post much. I've made some unforgettable friends on this forum. There are a select few here that I respect more than I can express. There are others whom I'm concerned for when I don't see them around for an extended period of time.
*shrug*. I'm definitely connected to this place. I'm just unsure if I'm part of it anymore.
4.​

 

[Kidege]

I'm definitely connected to this place. I'm just unsure if I'm part of it anymore. 4.

 

[Zero]

What if I say...

Yes, 10.

I am teh ruler?

 

[fullerene]

Razare, banana mango, cryptonia, and a few others are the ones I'm always trying to keep up with. They seem really smart and fit well in this forum.

eek! *peers out through a crack in the blanket*

aww.... thanks toad . I really appreciate it.

 

[Polaris]

I quite like it here, even if I may be one of those irritating INTJ's. I think I'm between INFJ/INTP/INTJ, though. It is like being three different people, quite strange.

I give it 7. Compared to a certain other forum, this place is quite pleasant. Although I venture back there occasionally when I need some sanity..... There are a couple of people here who make me laugh, Cogwulf is witty, and Claverhouse with his weird German-fetish and at times incomprehensible and eccentric ramblings just crack me up. I also like some of the more serious discussions, although I tend to stay away from posting there. I always find someone has already said what I intended to say so much more eloquently, so I retreat humbly.

After all, this is only an internet forum. There are real people behind all the avatars, but I don't have to engage if I don't want to. I am quite guarded, so that suits me

 

[severus]

There are real people behind all the avatars...

Pff! Yeah, that's likely..

 

[Polaris]

Pff! Yeah, that's likely..